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File 164659401142.png - (1.00MB , 1020x1100 , new.png )
39318 No. 39318 [Edit]
Ponderings general 3. Post things you've thought about.
33 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> No. 39607 [Edit]
>>39606
I think that odd and weird can be applied in many different ways and has many aspects. Some people may not bat an eyelid at tentacle doujins and may be weird in that way but they could still be normal in every other way, likewise many normal people are odd in other ways. Many normal people might have some obscure niche interests like ornithology and there are normal people who would watch gore and not bat an eyelid, yet many people here would be disgusted by that, so are we normal?
>> No. 39608 [Edit]
>>39606
>I'm happy I can share my thoughts with fellow normal and decent folk on TC
It is precisely not being filled with normal folks which makes places like tohno-chan have their character
>> No. 39609 [Edit]
>>39608
You're normal to me. Isn't that all that matters?
>> No. 39610 [Edit]
>>39609
It is! I suppose I have internalized an understanding of alterity asa part of my identity and considerations of where I post
>> No. 39611 [Edit]
>>39606
I think it goes beyond superficial tastes, you could have a perfectly normal guy with some abhorrent inclinations. It's more about how your brain works, how do you perceive the world 100% of the time. And people who's brain works differently are more inclined to weird tastes, but it's not a requisite.
>> No. 39613 [Edit]
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39613
>>39606
>I've been thinking about what it really means to be weird or odd.
autism
>> No. 39614 [Edit]
>>39613
That pretty circular considering how they diagnose people with it.
>> No. 39615 [Edit]
>>39613
I'm not so sure. Plenty of autistics that are better adjusted than I am.
Unless you're calling me autistic. I don't think I am.
>> No. 39616 [Edit]
File 165291103526.gif - (907.93KB , 498x429 , yuki-nagato-mouse-wave.gif )
39616
>>39614
>>39615
I'm just saying what weirdness means to me as an autistic person
>> No. 39617 [Edit]
>>39616
Hey, no fair! You can keep your autism, but share the weird!
>> No. 39711 [Edit]
I might finally watch/read this
>> No. 39755 [Edit]
>>39711
Watch what?
>> No. 39758 [Edit]
File 165385313618.png - (61.31KB , 600x600 , 1256.png )
39758
Do you think your last thoughts on this earth will be 2D related things? What you think your thoughts will be before the last good bye?
>> No. 39759 [Edit]
>>39758
>Do you think your last thoughts on this earth will be 2D related things?
I hope so. Everything else is full of regret and disgust.
>What you think your thoughts will be before the last good bye?
I'd like to think I'd be able to die in peace and be cool about it. Realistically, I'm a coward so I'll probably think about all the bad stuff and then die really unhappy.
Oh well. The nature of your death doesn't really matter once you're dead. In a way, dying is the most insignificant thing in a person's life. More trivial than breathing.
>> No. 39760 [Edit]
>>39758
>Do you think your last thoughts on this earth will be 2D related things
There's a good chance, since that's 80% of my thoughts (and the other 20% is my lamenting life and wanting to live in a 2D world).

>your thoughts will be before the last good bye
Seems like statistically most people who die due to "old age" actually die as a result of succumbing to disease (or injury that they don't recover from).

>A “natural death” in the US typically looks like this: we find something wrong with someone, we try to treat them—to alleviate their suffering, to prolong their life—and then we start losing that battle. Then we think about how to transition our focus to improving their life as much as possible until the end.

Absolutely miserable. I'm more terrified of having my life prolonged like that I am about death itself (which as above OP mentioned is basically insignificant).
>> No. 39761 [Edit]
Sometimes I feel like my posts are bad and I should fuck off somewhere or even nowhere.
Sorry if I make posts you dislike. I'm trying my best.
>> No. 39762 [Edit]
>>39761
unless they're being deleted, or you're getting bans, they're probably fine.
>> No. 39763 [Edit]
>>39758
I mostly just want to go out in some remote and pleasant natural environment, listening and looking at the sounds of nature
So presumably my thoughts would be on that. I attach a sense of spirituality to such places
>> No. 39764 [Edit]
>>39758
A bit more than a year ago I seriously thought I was dying/going to die.
It's a little hard to express exactly how I felt and what I was thinking.

My thoughts were mostly regretting my life, not so much fear of dying because I kind of wanted to, but regretting dying there and like that specifically. It felt like my life was over before it even started, even though the truth is I'm long past where life should have "started". It didn't seem fair. All the pain and suffering and struggle up till then, just to die in some big hole in the middle of nowhere. what could have been an easily prevented death if the only person around me, wasn't the brain damaged burden that helped a lot in making my life as miserable as it was. My mother couldn't help or get help, instead she would only make things harder like she always has. I'd die like I lived, alone. Sure there was someone there, but they might as well not have been, would have been better if they weren't at all. I was alone like the only sane man in a mental institution is "alone". If I was going to survive this, I'd have to do it on my own, while fighting her and her attempts to "help".
I thought to myself "This is how it ends?" some moron crying on the other side of a flimsy door as I lay there, wishing I could be anywhere else, with anyone else. She'd be stuck there, far far away from anyone to take care of them now. How long would they last on their own in a strange new place?
No one else would know I died, no one would care. Not for a while at least. Maybe once my website 404d people would notice, maybe assume I finally offed myself, be bummed out for a short time, but soon enough move on somewhere else and that'd be that. I struggled just to roll over and hold my phone, and to concentrate enough to start irc, and make some incoherent messages about handing this site off to someone else in vain.
I felt regret for all the people I wronged, and wished I could have been better, done better. I guess part of me still feels like this hard life of rejection and abuse I've lived was because I didn't live it right, that I was getting what I deserved, or at least that's how I rationalize it. It all felt so pathetic.
>> No. 39765 [Edit]
>>39764
You say that was a year ago, what about now?
>> No. 39766 [Edit]
>>39765
I recovered after a couple days, again no thanks to my mother. Life only got worse since then. I guess if nothing else, I wouldn't have no worry about my mom as much now since she's got a place to stay and some family isn't too far.

I posted more details here;
>>38316 >>38989
but I noticed after looking that over that I left a lot of stuff out in the time we spent on the road. Lot of the more day to day stuff I posted to my twitter account, https://twitter.com/Tohno__
>> No. 39768 [Edit]
File 165415579497.png - (383.95KB , 1000x1000 , 45870270174cdd3494afb010b42bd2c4.png )
39768
The word "maturing" is often used as a euphemism for becoming a boring, milquetoast husk of a human.

It seems to have been forgotten among the general populace, if they knew to begin with, that people are more honest on the internet. They talk about going out into the "real world" and maturing. And maturing is why they don't like x, y, and z anymore. Because they're so "mature" now. Really, it's because the censors have cracked down, so even the internet has become suffocated by a chilling effect, and they're conformists.

In the "real world", people are constantly fake. Constantly full of it. Constantly putting on airs. You don't learn anything about how people really are by talking to them in real life. So this idea that you can mature by exposing yourself to people's fake personas, and convincing yourself that's how they really are, is just absurd. You learn how people actually are, by seeing what they do when there's no perceived consequences.

Post edited on 2nd Jun 2022, 12:48am
>> No. 39778 [Edit]
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39778
"Toxic".
It's a word overused by those barbaric normalfags that have been invading everything good for a long time now.
Personally, I don't really understand it. I've been called toxic a lot of times, and I admit, I might call people something along the lines of "retarded faggot" sometimes. I don't think that makes me "toxic". It's just hyperbole. I wouldn't say something like that to someone I don't know either, so it would always be some stupid friend or someone else's stupid friend commenting on what I said to my friend.
I mean, what the hell am I supposed to say anyway? "Good effort, sport. I'll take the team out for some personal pan pizzas after the game?" Fuck that.
Why do they never come back with something clever like calling me a "fucking nigger monkey" or some other colorful language? What happened to fun? Everyone just wants to screech their autistic call-outs, despite playing casual modes. Why even bother?
Good thing I don't play multiplayer anymore, or even bother with friends.
>> No. 39779 [Edit]
There should be a button for youtube to recommend you completely random content. And I mean completely random, not just videos with millions of views or videos from popular accounts. I mean every single video update to yt to have equal chance to pop up on my recommended tab. I bet I would have a lot more fun going through completely random videos than have just trending stuff like they regularly do with recommendations.
>> No. 39780 [Edit]
>>39779
There is Firefox addon that can disable youtube clickbait like feed, recommended videos, clickbait thumbnails, etc. That way at least the crap is not pushed into my face constantly, only when I'm searching for stuff.
>> No. 39781 [Edit]
>>39779
Wasn't there such a thing some time ago?
>> No. 39782 [Edit]
>>39780
You're talking about unhook? That looks interesting but I was talking about having random recommendations, not completely obliterating them, though the idea of having a very clean yt is appealing. I'll try it for a while.

>>39781
I can't find anything about it. You would think true random is something people would want. Instead they're always implementing things I don't care at all about, like a tab for shorts.
>> No. 39783 [Edit]
>>39782
The addons I use for YT: DF YouTube (Distraction free), News Feed Eradicator, YouTube Popup Player, Youtube Subtitle Downloader, Age Restriction Bypass For YouTube, Clickbait Remover For YouTube.

>the idea of having a very clean yt is appealing. I'll try it for a while.

See if you like it. I personally found that these feeds and streamlined content and sidebars just promote net-addiction and time-wasting, so I disabled most of them and dont regret it.
>> No. 39784 [Edit]
>>39783
>Clickbait Remover For YouTube.
How does it know what's click bait?
>> No. 39785 [Edit]
File 165449727626.png - (1.13MB , 1882x928 , clean.png )
39785
>>39783
Couldn't you get the same effect with ublock origin's element picker?
>> No. 39786 [Edit]
>>39784
"This extension replaces thumbnails with a frame from the video..."


>>39785
I also used the AdBlock element picker but this dedicated tool is more convenient.
>> No. 39804 [Edit]
I'm seriously thinking about purchasing and maintaining a bonsai. A little piece of life that needs less attention and money than a pet but still requires commitment. Some green too which is nice. Many, many years ago I had a cactus and, don't laugh, I actually managed to let it die. In the most stupid manner, too. I had it by the window and one day I forgot one of panes open. I guess a strong wind blew the pane shut and the impact pushed the vase from the very narrow window stool it was in to the floor and the cactus literally bursted open with the impact. I thought it would mend itself somehow but it didn't. Quite a tragedy. Never got a new plant since but I guess I'll try again. I'll be a lot more careful this time.. if I get it I'm still not 100% sure on this.
>> No. 39805 [Edit]
>>39804
You could try something else. Just to see how it goes. The cactus incident is rough, but accidents happen. Nothing to do but learn from it and move on.
>> No. 39806 [Edit]
>>39804
>Many, many years ago...
It's time to move on, anon.
I have multiple cactuses so when one dies it doesn't feel like tragedy. I just replace it. Non-cactus plants always died on me eventually.
>> No. 39812 [Edit]
I wonder if there's ever been any attempt to formalize/quantify the notion of creativity/originality by linking it to compression. I'm aware of the hutter challenge which links general intelligence to being able to compress well, but this goes the other direction in showing a link between the originality of X and the lack of compress-ability of X.
>> No. 39813 [Edit]
>>39812
So you mean looking at how far you can simplify something while retaining the qualities making it unique so that you can see at what level it is original?
In other words, finding the point at which something can be distinguished from what came before it?
>> No. 39814 [Edit]
>>39813
I'm not really sure what I mean, I just had the thought that something like something like the content of reddit comment threads are usually predictable just from the title itself, and this implies that there's little novel information contained within them. If you think about what people mean when they something is "creative" or "original", it's usually when something deviates from an a priori distribution. A "creative" movie shouldn't have very many tropes in it, for if it did it would be predictable, and if something is predictable that means anyone could have come up with it (indeed, in the reddit comment thread example the output may well be similar to that of a markov model).

But I guess lack of compressability isn't sufficient, since otherwise radom noise would be considered "creative." Maybe you need to also factor in how much meaningful information is contained within the thing, so it's really the ratio that's important.

I was also thinking in the context of generative models, where "creative" outputs are areas of the latent space that usually have low probability of being hit. But again, you'll get lots of random junk if you use only that definition.
>> No. 39815 [Edit]
>>39814
It's an interesting idea to be sure. I would imagine most of the predictable responses are more social in nature. Social interactions don't encourage originality, after all. You'd find more original and interesting dialogues in places that are for exchanging information.
Sorry I can't provide any solid thoughts on this. I'm not exactly knowledgeable.
>> No. 39827 [Edit]
File 165507894944.png - (1.49MB , 1998x2333 , african violet-min.png )
39827
>>39804
>>39805
>>39806
For the past few days I've been doing some research and due to price and not having an external area for the plant to be happy in, I decided against it. For now at least. The bonsai trees I saw that actually look good are incredibly expensive, from hundreds to actually thousands of usd, quite an amazing thing, really. They do look beautiful though, but it's just out of my league. I don't even have the space for something like that. Maybe some day.

However I did not give up on having a plant. I went to a variety store and they had a little area for gardening tools, potted plants and the like. They had maybe a hundred or so plants in there lined up on the shelves, lots of cactuses, succulents and others. After walking back and forth for maybe 20 minutes, inspecting all of them trying to decide, I ended up going with this one. It was at the bottom shelf and had dirt all over its leaves, probably because people were handling other plants from the upper shelves and dirt was coming down on the ones bellow. It also has two damaged leaves but it's no big deal. It seemed to be there for a while and that's part of the reason I went with it.

Came back home and carefully cleaned it up to the best of my abilities. There was a dead flower in there so I cut it off. Then I took a few pictures for you guys. Here it is. It's a Saintpaulia ionantha, aka African violet. I remember my mom had one of these when I was a kid, at least it looks quite similar to what I remember. It doesn't like to be in direct sunlight and it doesn't enjoy dark places, either, lots of indirect light necessary. It does prefer to be indoors so we have that in common at least. Nice start I suppose. Water once a week and maybe twice in the summer.

My decade old camera can't quite pick up the right colors on the leaves. The pics I took from a distance has this brownish green but it doesn't look like that in reality, it's closer to the picture on the bottom with a brighter green but it's not quite like that, either, so try to imagine something like the closeup picture but with 20% of the brownish green. The colors on the flowers are actually accurate, not sure why it failed to capture the right color on the leaves. Maybe because they are a little shiny and that tricks the camera for whatever reason.

It was very cheap, not as cheap as a cactus but still easily affordable. I'll post again in a month or two to tell you how it's going. Gotta say my room already looks like a better place to be in with this violet here. If I manage to keep it alive for a year, maybe I'll even get another one, we'll see.

Post edited on 12th Jun 2022, 5:14pm
>> No. 39865 [Edit]
File 165525328136.jpg - (51.85KB , 450x630 , __kurumi_touhou_and_1_more_drawn_by_koyomiuta__858.jpg )
39865
I used to listen to music a lot when I was still in school and working. Constantly downloading new (to me) music to listen to. Now I don't really bother. If I want music, I'll usually throw on some Touhou arrange playlist. A lot of times I don't bother.
It makes me wonder if I was just using it to shut out the people and world around me. I wish I still had my old music library. I might still have it somewhere on a flash drive, but I'd really have to search for it. I have my record collection too, but my equipment is in storage. Sold a good chunk of my collection a while ago too. It might be nice to revisit stuff I might have forgotten.
It's such a pain. I can hardly remember what I used to listen to beyond the obvious stuff. It was only a couple years ago. I wish I invested in more digital storage back then.
>> No. 39870 [Edit]
I wonder if going through basic military training could cure my internet addiction or if I would just go back to being terminally online after I return home.
>> No. 39871 [Edit]
>>39870
jail would also be a good “digital detox”
>> No. 39883 [Edit]
File 165618266486.jpg - (148.69KB , 1029x680 , 0cb458e92a6b9e223d9897d92550325b.jpg )
39883
I've been thinking, the premise to a lot of hentai only makes sense from within the context of an obedient, hyper-conformist society. I think stories involving strange customs, or mass hypnosis, or generally things that "force" people into having sex, are so common because the asian idea of rebellion is becoming the new master.

The protagonist either benefits from preexisting rules, or makes new rules which suit them. There isn't really much about protagonists breaking rules and still getting ahead.

I watched Barry Lyndon yesterday, and while he isn't an enviable character, I think his story strongly contrasts with this. In the first half of the movie, he gets ahead in life by deserting his military post, immediately giving up his secret identity when acting as a spy, cheating while gambling and starting an affair with a wealthy noble woman whose husband is close to death.
>> No. 39884 [Edit]
>>39883
Sex fundamentally is sort of something that requires one person to dominate another. A narrative about someone freeing themselves from society and becoming a celibate monk as a result wouldn't really work.
>> No. 39888 [Edit]
Do people really lie on the internet? Wouldn't it be better to not share something you'd have to lie about entirely? It just seems strange, especially on imageboards. The worst that'll happen is someone will call you a loser or something and probably forget your post in a few minutes.
>> No. 39889 [Edit]
>>39883
I don't really think that is the reason behind it, I feel there are two reasons.

The first is to keep the girls pure, if she is hypnotised, or it's part of a ritual or time is stopped or something like that then it can be spun that she is still pure or at least not acting like a trollop.

The second is simply escapism. It's like isekai only instead of thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if I went to another world and this happened' you are thinking
'wouldn't it be nice if I could hypnotise any girl to do this, or if I could stop time and have my way with them'.

>>39884
Yes it would, sex is also about being dominated by your own impulses and by what society expects from you. Being a celibate monk would be freeing yourself form your impulses and from society.
>> No. 39894 [Edit]
File 16563849238.png - (0.98MB , 800x600 , 1.png )
39894
Imageboards make me feel stupid, but occasionally I'll get a glimpse into average internet communities. Immediately I feel much better about myself.
>> No. 39895 [Edit]
File 165642406027.png - (23.84KB , 764x598 , look-at-that.png )
39895
>>39894
Tangentially related, but did you know if you look for hikikomori imageboard on ddg, tc is the eleventh result, just above an wikipedia article and the first link on page 2? At least it is for me, for now. I very rarely post in other ibs other than here but I like to have a roster of crap to spin around every few hours, so I search for new ibs to lurk on occasion. I would gladly find more nice places but most ibs feel like a jagged rock while tc feels like a nice little pebble. Other ibs also feel like pebbles but it's those comfy-by-the-rules places and they feel like artifical pebbles made in rolling drums, while tc got around by rolling in the ocean for a whole internet era.

Seems like forums are making a little bit of a come back, which to me is very nostalgic but the few I found are not there yet.
>> No. 39911 [Edit]
In my experience most mentions of TC outside usually come with something about waifus or the no 3D rule and how weird and/or disturbing it is. I'm surprised that's where a lot of people draw the line.
I can't complain. If it's so weird, I don't want to be normal!
>> No. 39913 [Edit]
I think I've come to really appreciate how sincere the posters on this site seem, especially compared to many of the more recent breed of imageboards. It kinda of makes me wish I fit in better here, since I feel like I'm not really cut from the same cloth as the rest of tohno, and I don't really know all that much about otaku-oriented stuff.
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