NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!
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23506 No. 23506 [Edit]
Im completely alone all the time and its killing me. No one to talk to not even online. I live with my parents but i have to move soon. I thought i was stronger than this but i was wrong, being alone feels bad. For some reason i didnt have a problem being alone 10 years algo when i was a 18 yr old neet. But now i look back at all the chances i missed to make friends and its really getting to me. Like i have a big hole in my chest.
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>> No. 23507 [Edit]
Why not join the IRC? There's always other chatrooms as well.
>> No. 23508 [Edit]
Are you me OP?
I've been dealing with practically the same problem. I'm around the same age as you it seems and like you said I didn't care before but lately it'd been weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
Why not join our irc if you want someone to talk to? It's not the same as having real friends but it helps.
>> No. 23509 [Edit]
Having friends is even a bigger waste. You'd be the same lonely old fool you are now even with friends. Learn to enjoy the misery your so-called 'friends' from an alternate reality would never once feel.

Sorry if it doesn't make any sense I'm not feeling very well myself either OP.
>> No. 23510 [Edit]
I'm about the same age, though I don't live with my parents. Still an antisocial loser though.

It seems like it's harder to make friends when you get older. And when you do make friends, they just want to do boring shit like go to bars and drink to temporarily escape their miserable lives with their shitty jobs and meaningless. You spend less time talking about hobbies and more time talking about health problems and money.

I'm in touch with people I went to high school with (though we're not really friends anymore), and they're doing things like starting families and getting promotions and shit, and here I am, just barely scraping by. Feels bad.
>> No. 23519 [Edit]
How do you even make friends? This was one of my delusional NEET fantasies, that I would overcome anxiety, talk to people and somehow make friends. I can do the first two and the last step doesn't follow.
>> No. 23520 [Edit]
For me it always involved giving them lots of money.
>> No. 23524 [Edit]
Hackathons, meetups, college classes, study groups, extracurricular organizations, group projects, group therapy, work, Facebook, etc.

Easier if you're in college and/or have a job.
>> No. 23525 [Edit]
Making friends online seems so much easier than doing it in real life. Real life people are shit. They only meet with others to go drinking.

Being able to talk to people doesn't solve the problem, at last not for me.
I couldn't get any real life friends since I finished school 6 years ago even though I don't have any problems talking with people. I even feel like I might annoy people because I talk to much.
I knew and know some people at work or at university that I talk with when I'm there but I never met some one outside those places.
Maybe you have to go drinking with people because that seems to be the only activity they know.

When they only like you because you pay them, they are not friends.
They will only use you until you stop paying.
>> No. 23526 [Edit]
Drinking, talking about boring everyday things, and complaining about their lives. That's all they know and do.
>> No. 23529 [Edit]
Why do you want friends? What do you want out of such relationship?
That only works if you have things in common and you're not obnoxious, or if the one getting gifted is manipulating you. If the person in the giving end is the kind that still lashes out or is annoying, the receiver will end up putting distance sooner or later.
>Making friends online seems so much easier
e-friends, e-cquaintances =/= IRL friends, acqauintances
You can always try to approach people who aren't basic normals.
>> No. 23532 [Edit]
>e-friends, e-cquaintances =/= IRL friends, acqauintances
I've met better friends online than I ever have with people I've met in person.
>> No. 23533 [Edit]
I can't stand normals but the internet makes it possibly to easily find people out there who run on the same wave length. I don't see why I wouldn't get along with the average TC user for example.
>> No. 23534 [Edit]
This site is kind of a bizarre echo chamber. I'm not an average poster here. I'm an outsider looking in.

Sometimes, you can arrive at incorrect conclusions if you stay around like-minded people too much.

Maybe you should consider that "normal" people aren't inherently bad, and you shouldn't only try to seek out other people who are exactly like you.
>> No. 23535 [Edit]
>e-friends, e-cquaintances =/= IRL friends, acqauintances

I've met some of the people I met online in real life.
3 years ago we all met up at my house and spend a week playing games and watching anime. We repeated it in the two following years.
This year I even went to Japan for 3 weeks with one friend I met online and had only seen those 3 times before.

Even though I only see them like once a year I don't feel lonely at all because I can talk to them every day.
>> No. 23537 [Edit]
I can relate a lot to you. I am also a 28 year old NEET who spends 98% of the time completely alone. I have no friends, the only people I really spend time with is very very rarely my siblings and my grandma. I don't have much of a human interaction outside of imageboards as I don't use social media. It actually bothered me more when I was younger and the older I get the less I care. I'm not saying I don't care anymore but it would be really nice to have even a small group of friends to spend time with. Also ironically I used to hang out with a small group of people who played traditional tabletop games like D&D, Magic, Yugioh, and just other typical games like that. But they all lived over an hour away, so I didn't really see them often. They eventually got tired of driving all the way to get me and taking me back. I wasn't worth hanging out with anymore. I haven't hung out with a single "friend" since November and before that was June.

I highly recommend this, I also plan on starting to do IRC again myself. I haven't for some time out of feeling like once people get to know me they'll start ignoring me. I really need to work on my communication skills as well as my social skills in general.

>they just want to do boring shit like go to bars and drink to temporarily escape their miserable lives with their shitty jobs and meaningless
Yeah, that's generally the average 21 - 45 year old now days. Also I've lost pretty much all contact with the small circle of friends I had in high school. They cast me out because I didn't fit in with them back when I was 17. I wasn't interested in doing hard drugs with them. All I know now is that every last one of them are married with kids now.

I would be happy with a small group of friends again but I doubt it'll ever happen. I live in a town where there is literally no social activity going on and what little there is in surrounding areas is strictly bars and stuff for normals.
>> No. 23543 [Edit]
My point is that they're no equal in standing. I've seen others call people online "friends", yet if you ask them if they know their name or stuff like their favourite food or even where they live, they draw a blank, because they don't know.
I agree, but it seems to me people online have the tendency to call friendship a relationship that isn't really that deep and that ends up being much more fragile and even ephemeral in nature.
>> No. 23545 [Edit]
>My point is that they're no equal in standing. I've seen others call people online "friends", yet if you ask them if they know their name or stuff like their favourite food or even where they live, they draw a blank, because they don't know.
That's not always the case, it is certainly possible to meet real great friends on the internet. I know one fellow I met on this very site roughly four years ago, we talk to this very day all the time. And that's not the only example I could give.
>> No. 23546 [Edit]
>That's not always the case
I didn't say it was.
>> No. 23547 [Edit]
Fair enough
>> No. 23548 [Edit]
I met a guy from Poland roughly almost 5 years ago now and we just randomly talk from time to time about sad things and the meaninglessness of existence, he's a good 6 years older than me though.
>> No. 23550 [Edit]
i'm friends with someone at least 10 years older than me. i am pretty young (college age) but i just get along better with older people. people my age are annoying as fuck.
>> No. 23552 [Edit]
My loneliness is to the point where I feel like I must make a decision. I either have to ask for medication, suicide, or check myself into some sort of institution that can watch me.

I can barely function. I cry randomly in public, and derive joy from nothing, not even masturbation.
>> No. 23553 [Edit]
I know how you feel.
>> No. 23554 [Edit]
Getting medical "help" is the last thing you should do. I've had friends and family come back completely changed and fucked up after all the meds and "treatments" they administer. Since you still have the capability for rational thought and know what you need, take the initiative and join an interest or hobby group or call a hotline or whatever, but never ever willingly approach the medical establishment yourself.
>> No. 23558 [Edit]
Why you gotta be a ford-driver Popo?
>> No. 23576 [Edit]
i almost made a firend but i messed up. i want to die
>> No. 23577 [Edit]
What happened?
>> No. 23578 [Edit]
>i almost made a firend
Optimism is good but let's not get delusional.
>> No. 23597 [Edit]
How important is friendship? Is there anyone else that just never had any good experiences with it and prefer to be alone?
>> No. 23600 [Edit]
>How important is friendship?
That's really up to you to decide.
>> No. 23691 [Edit]
If you ever feel like it or anyone else reading this for that matter, feel free to send me an email. You can write about whatever you want and I'll respond with whatever I want. I'll try to check it once a week.
>> No. 23700 [Edit]
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I often think what I would do differently, if I had the chance to go back in time. Then I remember the times, when I had friends and we hung out in the streets, fooling around or playing games and later drinking beer, breaking stuff or scuffling with each other.

After school everyone went his own way and changed quickly. Few months after graduation I couldn't relate to my once best friends anymore and they had no interest in me either. I went to uni, while they got their job, car, gf and phone and didn't even try to choose a topic, that wouldn't exclude me from conversation.

Nowadays I meet now and then with a former school mate and fellow student back from uni. I got him into anime long ago, so we have that shared hobby, however I don't feel like we are close friends, even though we know each others porn preferences.
In my good days, I have been a quite active guy, getting outside, doing sportsy stuff, adventuring in the woods or exploring urban ruins, but since I lost all my friends, who liked doing such things too, an important part of my social circle has been missing.

How do adults make friends, not acquaintances, colleagues or bedroom prey, but real friends, with whom you can share great experiences, giving you something to talk and laugh about in the future? I might just have to grow up already.

>> No. 23704 [Edit]
Meet people online basically is your answer. People you meet in real life are gonna be too occupied with their jobs and are more often to be the type to have 'grown up' and to somehow find enjoyment or whatever people take in that. You're in prime territory for people who give a crap about all else other than work after all.
>> No. 24070 [Edit]
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I've been feeling like this too, and I'm much younger than OP. I was gonna start a new thread for this, but there was already yours so I figured I could add my two cents. I have no social media accounts, I have no secret discord club, I have no obscure internet forum, I have no IRC channel I'm a regular on, I have no humans I talk to besides my parents, I have no larger "community" I belong to. All I have are two anonymous imageboards that have less and less users each day and less and less can I relate to the imageboard crowd. All I have is an eating away sensation in my belly because of that and the fact I know people hate me because of various factors, changeable and unchangeable. People are very mean, fickle, and steeped in satire, sarcasm and irony to prove a point about something that doesn't even affect them in any real way or because you enjoy something they don't. I live in my parents living room and like another user here has said, I feel nothing out outside of there is worth experiencing, yet I still a feel weird feeling about being so isolated from the rest of wider society and deep down still care what people think about me. I don't know why I still care and crave interaction and acceptance even though I know I'm not fit for it, nor really enjoy people's company. Help me.
>> No. 24073 [Edit]

I know that feel all too well, shame I have no advice.
>> No. 24107 [Edit]
I'm feeling it too. I don't have any friends, not even online anymore. Feels like we all drifted away and became different people. Sure we might still be in a server together but what's it matter when only a few messages are exchanged per day?

Thing is it seems like I'm really good at getting people to like me I just can't be bothered to follow through with actually making a friend proper. I've joined and became prominent in multiple online communities, had people liking me, but not netted a single person I could call a friend because I'd just show up in group chat and never bother to talk to anyone much in private. Then slowly I drift away from that community until one day I just decide to pull the plug and make a new username for everything connected to that identity. I don't know why I do this, I've been doing this ever since I was a little kid. It's never bothered me until the past couple years and now it's really dawning on me that I'm approaching 30 and my social network is basically my parents. As their health keeps declining I'm becoming more and more worried about how I'll survive with literally noone there to help me out in times of need. I mean, the solution is obvious but actually doing something about it is something my brain just doesn't seem to comprehend. I'm bad at long term relationships.
>> No. 24108 [Edit]
I don't even actually want friends or contacts except as an outlet to vent so I'm trying to learn to accept the loneliness that my brain and society force upon me through getting deeper into games, more addictive games, maybe studying once in a while

I don't understand what makes a friendship and don't think I ever had a real reason to care about having them besides the fear of "not being able to entertain myself until I die well enough" but my fucking brain just forces me to feel bad about being alone and bored
>> No. 24110 [Edit]
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>Then slowly I drift away from that community until one day I just decide to pull the plug and make a new username for everything connected to that identity. I don't know why I do this
I've done this too, and for me it's always when I feel the initial satisfaction of joining the new community wears away and I realize that the time spent chatting has just been mostly superficial fluff. When reflecting back I realize that deep down I don't really care too much about that community, nothing substantial ever came out of it, and that most people ultimately only remain in that group as a temporary relief for boredom. In fact in some sense I don't really want friends as I prefer being alone and having a "friend" would necessitate forced interaction on your part. What I prefer is something like the temporary "ichigo ichie"-esque format of imageboards where there is no obligation to anyone, and it's just you alone with the musings/ramblings of others. That feels more natural, more relaxed, and more genuine.

I'm sure some people have indeed found genuine friendships, but I still have no idea what that entails.
>> No. 24111 [Edit]
I'm not bothered about being alone, it feels natural now. Looking back, I don't think I've ever had a genuine friendship with someone. Sure, I've hung about with some people and talked a lot to them, but I never really knew anything about them. We might have had similar interests, but never shared a real connection. I guess it's because I've never found someone else who can understand me.

Sorry for the ramble.
>> No. 24114 [Edit]
For me it's not that I get bored of the people but that over time people (myself included) change. Then for some reason I feel obligated to show myself out of the group because it's not like the good old days and I feel like I'm being a drag. I get that you go through a lot of "friends" that you have for a year or two over the course of your life but at my age I should have a core group of people and I don't.

It's the sort of stark realization that only comes with age and it makes me worry about what other stark realizations are coming as the clock keeps ticking on.
>> No. 24156 [Edit]
I can't fit in with anyone. Any community (except for maybe this one, but that's not saying much that I can fit in here and not to metapost but people don't really hangout here, it's more of a check twice daily site and the IRC is full of non-NEETs who are always talking about their university experiences or whatever). Every time I find one I think I can finally fit in with and call "home", something always ruins it for me, the closest I came to fitting into a moderately fast place was the infamous Krautchan /int/ (and it's spinoffs for a short time after it died) but the problems that it had grew and grew until it wasn't fun to browse anymore. I either find a place that I think looks good on the surface that is intolerable once I get to know the community, or is intolerable on the surface. Some examples of the former: at first liveboards (sites running on Meguca and Doushio software, even those sites themselves) seemed like an okay place to hang out and get my social interaction and be less lonely but after sticking with them for about a year and even getting addicted to them at one point I realized how repetitive and cancerous they could be. It didn't help that people liked to latch onto identities and the drama that comes with that, the post quality was also a bit low with the users treating it more like a circlejerk-oriented Discord or IRC channel. Another thing that really bothered me about these was how often off-topic discussions came up, despite a lot of them being otaku-themed and a lot of the users at-least liking anime, things like current events, ethnicity, nationality, sports, meta for other websites (usually 4chan, but sometimes another liveboard they're having drama with) and meta in general were often discussed and often in a very low-quality and non-civil way described as "shitposting" by the users but often with very little humor and played straight unlike the term often entails. These are problems that likely plague every online community but the instant gratification nature of the format probably exacerbates them. Another one that seems deceptively better is pretty much almost every social media website with the exception of Hacker News, (which actually isn't bad but has it's own problems and posting style that you may or may not like depending on your preferences, the technical focus and serious tone probably will turn people off) as people's interests are more varied and posting style is varied with some people being friendly and respectful and because of people's varied interests a lot of the topics I complained about were contained in their own little areas that usually could be ignored but it has very heavy issues including how corporate the platforms typically are, privacy issues (ranging from storing your data to practically turning you into a product to be sold, but I'm sure you've heard all this before), the variety of users with interests leads to a lot of normalfags using the services and creating a consensus similar to the one many people are trying to avoid but this also can create very strange communities with very extreme unagreeable opinions. Another thing that keeps me off of social media is the culture of bullying it has created or at least enabled, which is disastrious when paired with real life identity like it typically is. That is probably the single biggest thing keeping me off of it, nobody cares about a flame war on some random imageboard but on social media fights can seriously affect people's lives. That culture of serious bullying and mobbing also tends to pair with an agenda and people are fighting over shit that doesn’t affect them; all that and I just don’t like the “memes” that people love to use as a substitute for being funny or witty and often to push their own agenda. The median age of users on these are probably quite young, honestly. I’m not implying I’m special or above anything but it’s honestly depressing that this how people actually are without any pretense for others they have in real life. Imageboards themselves are pretty much on life support, with very few I’ve seen having regular users and those that do are often an impenetrable community. Same with textboards, with most getting several posts a year at best. Platforms that are just intolerable are discord and similar protocols, comments on articles and videos and pretty much anything contained within an app/program like steam or amino all for obvious reasons. The only major thing I haven’t tried yet is the good old forum which is pretty dead for the most part but apparently still has some pretty large communities.
I’m probably just complaining about human nature and society here but I wish everyone wasn’t so negative and cynical, I’d give anything to go back to when the internet was fun.
>> No. 24173 [Edit]
Fuck this post hit hard. It really is depressing to see how the internet has turned into tv 2.0
>> No. 24255 [Edit]
I don't understand my brain.
I'm often sad because of bullying but when I isolate myself to escape it I just feel lonely and upset for a different reason.
>> No. 24266 [Edit]
I can't even watch a lot of anime anymore because whenever I see a friendship shown or a group of people having fun I fall into an intense sadness.
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