I'd have to say it was when I got into a heated augment with someone at my third job, which cost me that job. I went full hikkimori after that, pissing in jugs and eveything. Been five or six years since then. Had two jobs in that time, one of which only lasted a single day.

The very minute I was born.

My Dad didn't want to show up to name me and my Mom was starting to already not care, getting frustrated by it cause she just wanted to leave the hospital.

I don't have a proper last name because of that.

Watching my uncle beat the living shit out of my cousins (aged 3 and 5) when I was four and being powerless to stop him. Something inside me broke and never came back.

We all have tales to tell.
Some are better left unsaid.
Isn't that right OP?
We have a sharp mind for those things.
Worry not.

I see life as an infinite cogwheel mechanism.
Smaller wheels move the bigger ones.
Before they cease to function.
Makes more sense to me.
Unsung heroes, unsung melodies.

>>21220

Yeah, it seems worse when you look at that rather than experiencing it yourself, although I'm sure that there are exceptions to that.

>>21222

In all honesty, girls like that tend to be really fucked up and are generally not good to be with. He should have realized that he did himself a favor, although to be fair, what he saw with his own eyes was very traumatic and he is probably used to blaming himself for things that are not his fault.

>>21223
I have my suspicions that it is worse to watch honestly, since my cousins turned out alright in the end. It's just me that's right fucked up, though I was abused by other people (dayhome mom, my dad's room mate) around that age as well so maybe it's that.

If anything, I'd say it's when my parents divorced when I was 4. I get the feeling that if my dad had a substantial part in raising me, I'd be a lot more self-confident. I probably would have picked up more skills as well, either because he taught them to me or because I had the drive to learn them myself. And even if I still wouldn't have made any friends, at least I'd still have him.

I mean, I could drive over to the guy's house right now and start visiting him, but I find him very hard to get close to nowadays. He's an alright guy and he wishes I'd say hi to him every once in a while, but I just don't see much of a reason to talk to him. I don't really feel a connection between him and me. I guess it's just because he and I never spoke much when I was growing up, he was always overseas and whatnot. And I'm too shy of a person to just walk up and say hi to someone I don't (or barely) know.

>>21223
A woman needs someone to love.
That is true.
But she also needs someone to hate.
So she can finally move on.
Ending the cycle of self-hatred.

just living is what set me on that way and i suppose it is true for many of you too

>>21223
That image is either stale-as-fuck copypasta or just ironic shitposting. Come on, man, the wall of text and weeb shit pretty much give it away.

The earliest thing I can remember is being 12 and thinking that there is something incredibly wrong with me and that I have to fix myself, so I dedicated my life to self-improvement for a decade. Did it fix me? I'm posting here, you decide.

>>21341
Mr. Weebcaller Mecha-Yotsuba Smith,
I've sat here for a while.
Thinking about ways to answer your smile.
Don't worry, i'll adapt this time.
My apologies if everything doesn't rhyme.

What true meaning has life.
For all we believed in was lies?
You seem like the explosive type.
The one women love the most in life.
And they sure deserve the stereotype,
For best or worse, love genocide.

All words written are true.
Drunken words which doesn't rhyme...
A sad song with broken words, one of a kind.
Like this weak paragraph.
But without further ado,
Know my time was cut in half.

Now on my epitaph,
Rest your thoughts.
This is indeed a wasted life.
Alike your post,
Few can guess how far it's outside.
It doesn't belong where it is,
But still desperately tries.
I give you the benefit of the doubt.
Was this kind enough?

>>21353
What do you do for fun?

>>21353
You're posting on an imageboard full of completely fixed people. In fact this is the only place on the internet where people are enlightened enough to be role models of morally perfect humans.

So yes. You are the fix.

Sometimes I get angry people on this board are assholes or say stupid things, but then I remember this site is full of broken people and these are the ones make those replies.

I had a chance not to be /ronery/ but that ship has sailed. I may go back to what I was like but not fully unfortunately I have no choice but to work now and I'll have to be forced to take part in society while not getting what I want in return from it. Besides that I can live somewhat like the NEET lifestyle days I'm off I rarely decide to go out anymore and I'm fairly starting to enjoy the feeling of isolation again I just get jealous when I have friends anyway not having any real friends probably will be good for me now.

One thing I learned from having friends that have better lives than me was that in itself causes me more stress than anything especially when having to work and come home to a bunch of bs you don't care for. Back during a period about maybe 3 years after High School I was a pseudo NEET no form of employment that could be taxed but I found work and made money in other ways during this time I had no friends or anything really to speak of my average day consisted of doing some odd job for one or two hours than coming home to browse chans, sometimes play games and watch anime even than there would be days where I'd just sleep them away. I miss those years now, I recently tried to break out of it and now I extremely regret the decision suffering consequences of thinking having friends and getting a wage slave job was a good idea it just all went to flames I wish I could turn back time far enough to were I didn't waste 2015 the years prior I was sad but comfortable and not stressed now I got all this stuff on my plate with no real pleasure in return it drains me that's all it does.

I feel now I'm set on the path for true /ronery/ness after trying to get in a somewhat normal life with all that entails if I could be a NEET I should would be one the rest of my life is going to be a undesirable hell. I now am starting to hate people more I only wanted one thing but it had to be torn away from me I put so much into relationships with a few people just to have it fall to ruin mainly my fault but I never asked for much and what I wanted I could no longer have I just flipped my shit and there was warnings for everyone but they didn't listen.

I'll never have real friends again being in solitude was actually good for me but I failed to see it and thought friendship would be nice but in reality it was a experience that just made me feel worse about myself and the jealously grew everyday. Being like this now with no friends I'm starting to find peace once again but sadness is just going to be a unfortunate side effect to this. No turning back now, being forced to work now maybe I'll get a cdl and become a trucker so I can fuck off for months at a time with little verbal contact with people as possible.

In short anyone here wanting to try to get a normal life don't do it, you'll most likely regret it many of us aren't meant for such a thing.

>>21222
>In all honesty, girls like that tend to be really fucked up and are generally not good to be with. He should have realized that he did himself a favor, although to be fair, what he saw with his own eyes was very traumatic and he is probably used to blaming himself for things that are not his fault.

I guess it's safe to say you're alone by choice or perhaps you pee while sitting?
Anyway, it took me a decade to contemplate your words in full now. I feel like i've wasted my love for someone, at least i really loved her, if this serves as a consolation prize.
I never knew how to love to begin with, she taugh me the basics and i'm fine with it, introverted type, one love for a lifetime mentality and all. Rather antiquated for these times, people like me belong in the past.

She showed herself in my life again and i've told her everything and explained why i've lied to her but, you know, the truth is that the present me is really tired, tired of living as a whole, disappointed with life and love is the right word, i think. I expected much more of the greatest thing, massively overrated.
I guess girls with such problems need someone like the chad stereotype, rich, strong, popular and all. What could introverted wimpy neet teens like some of us do to help them? The opposite in fact, it's a mistake to get involved with such girls, we'll just hinder them further and get worthless scars as prize.

Phew.
I can't believe i'm finally free.
No shackles of guilt bind me anymore.
Time to change the musical repertoire.

All this wasted love.....

All the elements were always there, then everything just falls into place.

>>21389
I cant seem to balance friendship, jealousy, and sadness.

>>21443
I'm pretty sure crazy doesn't need to attach itself to rich chad. crazy can attach itself to *anyone* in fact they might benefit more from "NEET wimpy introverted teens" as they will put up with crazy for longer (for good.....or bad)

>>21487
I was just a naive teen back then.

>>21488
At this point nothing really matters anymore.

It's kind of a tough choice, it's either...

The first time I moved
The second time I moved
The time I started getting bullied
The time I attempted public suicide in 4th grade
The third time I moved, things got better but I was still a lonely fuck
The day I graduated highschool

I'd probably say the first or second time I moved were probably the biggest factors

I have thought about this for a long time. Not just the cause of my loneliness, but my failure and unhappiness in every aspect of life.
Disturbingly there was no defining moment. Rather it is a function of how I operate in life on a day to day basis, in every small decision I make. I have never felt any meaningful motivation in any direction and this filters through to everything I do.
I look at two scales -- my 'macro-decisions' throughout life have been sound (I studied something I believed I enjoyed, I never abused drugs, I never failed to attend important family events like funerals and weddings).
My micro-decisions are what have laid waste to my life (I wake up in the afternoon and lie in bed for hours because I lack the will to move, I don't eat regularly because I can't be bothered, I sit in front of the computer doing nothing in particular, I sit and stare at the wall for hours, I don't study because I am too tired). These things are what robbed me of time and led to poor results in everything I attempted with good intentions. I guess apathy and laziness are my defining character traits.
The funny thing is that you are never warned about this kind of thing when younger. People talk about 'laziness' but it's never expected to affect anyone enough to warrant the kinds of warnings we receive about drug abuse, poor career/relationship choices, etc. I wish I could have half the intrinsic motivation everyone else seems to have. Society assumes some level of motivation exists in everyone. Fuck, even criminals had to expend energy in a chosen direction to ruin their lives.

>>21510
At first when I read moved I thought you meant the first and second time you physically moved your body like in the womb.

>>21534
I guess the moment I first gained sentience is a pretty important moment that lead to my lonely life

>>21536
Yeah, it was all downhill from there.

>>21032
>I don't have a proper last name because of that.
How does that work exactly? Aren't you supposed to get the surname of your father? Your parents can't choose a surname for their child or maybe you meant something different.

I was homeschooled.

I'd say it was when I dropped out of high school, but I was failing anyway...

>>21953
That father has to be there for them to confirm its his child, he's likely a bastard