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19995 No. 19995 [Edit]
I had to leave the house and use public transportation today. I shouldn't have left the house.

So I'm standing on the train station and I see women everywhere. What really caught my eye was these 5 ethnic women with tight white jeans and large butts standing on the platform and waiting for the train. I looked at them once, but quickly looked away and never looked at them again. I didn't want them to think that I was interested in their looks or anything. But deep down I was full of anger, rage and mostly jealousy. I knew someone was hitting that, and it wasn't me.

I enter the train and take a seat. Next thing you know a group of slim white blonde women (17-18 years of age) enter the train and they sit near me. I have social anxiety so as soon as they sat near me my heart started to beat really fast and I felt very nervous and shy (is there any cure for social anxiety?).

I hear how they talk about having a "women night out" (whatever that means) and they are deciding where to go. Five minutes later one of the women spots a group of guys on the train and they all agree to go and talk to the guys. But before they did that they took out their combs and make-up and fixed themselves and then approached the group of random guys.

I really felt like shit at this point. I felt like an complete loser. A fucking failure. I chewed on my gum as hard as I could but soon realized that it wouldn't change anything and that I was just coping by chewing hard.

I switch train and this time when I enter I see 2 women with a speaker blasting high volume music and singing along. Pitbull, Jennifer Lopez etc. I quickly realized that these women must have received huge amounts of validation because no normal person would be this courageous to actually play shitty music loud on the train so everyone can hear it. The stuff that they sang made me so fucking angry!

"Life is great", "We love to live and party", "We want to have some fun", "I want to scream and shout and let it all out"

Fuck!

There is so much that I'm missing and not aware of. People younger than me are experiencing some much more of life than I could ever think of. Leaving the house for a single hour showed me this… imagine having to be surrounded by this every single day? I'm now convinced that life is really just an huge fuck fest and I'm not just invited. I experienced so much in just a single hour. I can't imagine the things that I miss and don't see everyday.

How would you feel and react if you were in my situation today?
>> No. 19996 [Edit]
I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. You probably wouldn't enjoy doing what they do even if you could experience it, so don't worry about it.
I will never be able to fly and I don't worry myself over it. If everyone else could fly should I suddenly start worrying?
>> No. 19998 [Edit]
Your problem lies with public transportation.
>> No. 20001 [Edit]
Who gives a shit
>> No. 20004 [Edit]
>>20001
This, personally my idea of living the life would be staying at home in a peaceful and quiet environment and immersing myself in all the video games an anime. Like that anon said, my thoughts to those people are something like "They're gonna breakup in a few weeks, she's gonna have to get a abortion too, glad I know better."

I used to know how you feel, I can relate a lot to your post OP, but trust me, that life isn't worth it. There's more to life than partying and banging somone with a ass. The reality is that there are very few people worth talking to and you should try to find your passion if you haven't already.

But if you really want to "live it up" in the way those people are doing, then hey, go ahead and do drugs and take a visit to your local bar or party. You'll get laid instantly with the help of substances, despite having SAD
>> No. 20006 [Edit]
Party cant go on forever, girls like those sooner or later run into deep shit and their little princess bubble bursts.

Well other than that there isnt much to say i think, i guess maybe psychotherapy might help but otherwise there isnt really much you can when you get into situations like this.
>> No. 20034 [Edit]
This should cheer you up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOHDkIxyu2A
>> No. 20157 [Edit]
>>20034
Do you cum with me. Wat
>> No. 20186 [Edit]
>>20004
>hey, go ahead and do drugs and take a visit to your local bar or party. You'll get laid instantly with the help of substances

seriously? I actually go to bars/clubs on a weekly basis and I still don't get it. I swear the social dynamics in these places are as intricate as astrophysics, how anyone in these places manages to actually get laid is a mystery to me. I'm not as hopeless as OP but I can relate to it.
>> No. 20187 [Edit]
Why does any of that sound appealing? It's not.
>> No. 20188 [Edit]
>>20186
Do you go alone? Do you have any friends?
Seems to me like you need friends to get to know other people, maybe you need an entry level connection with someone.
Maybe you could go to different places where you have a better chance of meeting people.

And you dont go to just get laid do you? I myself would go to bars too if i had the money, but not to get laid just for the thing in itself, you know.
>> No. 20193 [Edit]
>>20188
I have a few friends who go out. But I only started doing this in my late 20s, it feels like everyone else in my city already knows each other.
>> No. 20203 [Edit]
Its nice and sunny outside again and im sitting inside doing next to nothing.
I could go near the lake and just hang there, but no sit on my lazy ass doing next to nothing.
I dont know why i do this.
Doing nothing outdoors would better than indoors, maybe id see something or even meet someone, or at the very least comfort myself with the fact that i tried, rather than feeling guilty for just sitting in here pissing another summer away.
I know its probably pointless and il only come back tired and dissapointed, but still i cant shake that feel that im wasting my life.
>> No. 20205 [Edit]
>>20203
If your doing what you like its not a waste
>> No. 20206 [Edit]
>>20203
>>20205
yeah just be urself
>> No. 20207 [Edit]
>>20205
What if doing what you like lands you in a tough spot because you never worked or saved any money up and you're forced to go on your own, or something?
>> No. 20210 [Edit]
>>20205
This post is pretty fitting for OP's pic.
>> No. 20219 [Edit]
>>20205
>>20206
Sry for late reply.

Cant say i hate it nor that i like it, but im tired of this life, just tired of it.
Tought i hadnt really done anyhthing particularly good that day.

Im not getting younger and the fact that i just sit on my ass in the house rather than doing something outside just reminds me of another wasted oppertuniti to grab a slice of life and take a chance.

On the other hand id only be tired and get a sunburn.

Anyway thanks for listening to my whining, i appreciate the attention.

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