congratulations

It's okay, most people are just putting on a mask anyways. Even the most passionate and hard-working people I'm sure occasionally face that existential crisis.

Take it one step at a time. For example: "I am in bed. I am raising my arm and turning over. I am readjusting my blankets" stuff like that and your actions will at least mechanically make more sense.

It could be worse.

It doesn't matter what you're doing (or not doing), as long as it's by your own will. If it bothers you that you might be acting like just a robot, then at least try to take comfort in the fact that it was your own choice that you wanted to act like that. There is no wrong choice, whatever you yourself decide will always be right.

You might hate the fact that you have to lie, deceive, or put on a mask so that you won't be bothered by other 'normal' people. But that's just how reality is (and I hate it too). Just know yourself and stick to what you believe in. Once you figure things out, you'll realize that you're invincible.

I don't believe this has ever not been the case at any point in my life.

i'm alone in the universe and have no way to connect with anyone

i like to be alone but i dont wish to be lonely

>>18665
you have us friend

>>18665
Connect with the universe. Watch some cool science and nature videos. Study math, study history and feel connected with all of humanity like supreme intellectual.

Besides dicking around on the internet that seems to be the only option for a lot of us.

Let's make a list of things we were born too early to do

-exploring space
-fucking intelligent, good looking and affordable sexbots
-experiencing true VR (?)

>>18673
I wish I was born in an age that figured out how to regrow teeth in adults already and made it publicly available. modern dental work feels damn near barbaric.

Thanks to Web 2.0, I've known about how friends I used to have are now apparently fulfilling their dreams, which I find lame and despicable but in any case they became what they wanted. I see that and I can't avoid feeling defeated; I was supposed to have talent and brains; I should've been somebody, but I'm not; all I have is melancholy and grudges and my very best prospect is to get a mundane commodity to fund my otaku interests as I, rather than live, kill time watching life and thinking until dying anonymously. I should be ok with it; I convinced myself I was ok with it; but apparently I'm not. Yet I couldn't possibly go back to that now disgusting normal world and its sense of happiness. I keep telling myself that I belong to the future: that I'm heading towards a brave new world which I, as I am and they're not, will have the privileged opportunity to partake in; but all in all I just got old, bitter and lonely. I have nothing to be proud of. I have no peers to call equal, not even in the vast web. I do live as I chose to, but only as far as my increasingly narrow options allow it. I'm always haunted by the ghost of doubt; because: what if I'm wrong? what if all this was a stupid mistake that I'll pay with my life for? what if it's all a total waste? what if, after all, I do not want to be a ghost? Nothing of this should bother me, since my life is just another one within millions and certainly has no special value... but, again, what if it could?

I don't know either, sometimes I want to run away and live a delusional life where things are ok, sometimes I want to change the world to my liking.

The first is easier, but won't satisfy me, the second will bring nothing but trouble, the best option seems to be unhappy in the middle.

I never knew. I've never had aspirations, I've never had direction, I've never had ambitions.

>>18729
me niether

>>18729
My aspirations were always related to my hobbies, so my dream job was something which could give me the most amount of money in the least amount of time, regardless of time.

That is a terrible driving force on its own, unfortunately.

>>18729
>>18737
I'm in this boat too. In school I was always confused as to how other children knew the answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?"- I could never come up with anything.

>>18756
Pretty sure most normals forget about their childhood dreams sometime in high school anyways...

>>18756
I wanted to be a dentist. Boring kid, huh.

>>18758
Well, at least it's more realistic than the things a lot of kids come up with- like astronaut, game designer, rockstar, or famous artist.

>>18759
Who doesn't want to go in space?

>>18760
Space is a massive death trap.

>>18761
The Earth is a smaller and vastly less efficient deathtrap.
Probably a more stimulating one to inhabit though, things mostly happening on scales you can intuit and more or less relate to.

"Death trap" sounds like some death metal band composed entirely of traps. Or maybe the trap version of Death.

>>18761
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EKxl1x2ad8

>>18768
This is how you know you've been jerking off to way too much.

>>18771
>>18785
I shall never be swayed away from the righteous path of traps!

I keep getting even dumber.
I'm sick of being so stupid.

>>18664
The more I think back the more that seems to be the case.

>>19448
For me it started around the last 2 years of middle school, around the same time I got addicted to computers etc.
What a coincidence eh

God, I really am so lonely.

Some times I want to do the things I enjoy, but then I get stuck sitting around, too busy thinking depressing thoughts to do anything else

Soon to be 20 and currently trying to bootstrap my way out of NEETdom. It's not going well so far.

>>18655
me neither, but I gave up a long time ago. There is nothing worth putting effort into it. So I just stop giving a fuck all together.

Ha ha ha. I really sounds sad when I spell it out.

This is all bullshit!

Why have aspirations? Why be someone? Why do something with life?

Why not just live and be what we are?

Aspirations and purpose are nice, but it should never have came this far that we need to rely on them to give us value as beings.

Almost everyone suffers, sure not as much as we do, but they suffer for the same reasons and that is mostly because all of mankind have been dragged down into a web of lies.

Hang in there, things may become better and perhaps you find a good reason to live.

>>19899
Why not die while we're at it? Im serious. There is no real reason to live and if you've been dealt bad cards since birth either through genetics or economic level it really is a fucking chore to 'improve yourself' if ultimately nothing matters.

>>19912
Personally i wouldnt say life is this binary, just because the world is not good to us doesnt mean we are worthless.
Life is not a choice, death can be, true.
Sucicide should be regarded as a respectable choice and if you are not willing to go on then that is something each should decide for himself.
But if you dont try youl never find out right, i just take the gamble for myself.

>>19912
Why do you need a reason to live, life is just about living and you have the choice of how to decide to live that life. If you want a reason just come up with your own. I just hope it's nothing that hurts other life unnecessarily. Here's my own if you're curious.

I strive to fulfill my primary needs and alleviate my boredom. That is eat, drink, sleep etc and entertaining myself through the Internet, video games, books, music, movies, design, animals or whatever. My guess is that most people have the same reason as I, but the ways they alleviate their boredom differs. Just remember that the other option is most likely nothing at all and that's seems pretty boring to me.

what the fuck was all for?

life blows.