There was this period of about 7 years where I waifued Nonon Jakuzure. It wasn't very involved beyond this obligation drive and a net of retarded social connections that came with posting.
It wasn't a real relationship. I would have her in the back of my mind like a manifestation of my Ego or something, but more than anything else she was flavour.
I finally watched a certain movie for a certain series wherein afterwards I was left with a genuine spiritual emptiness. It was physiological. Religious, even. I don't want to blogpost too much, but that was the moment that I found my waifu, and dropped Nonon. The only thing I miss is the feeling of "authenticity" for having been associated with Nonon for so long.

(I hope this board is alive) My first waifu was different, but they both have yellow eyes I like so much. That was a good time and I'm happy I met her. We broke up because, well, she is much much older than me (she is immortal), she never stays at one place for really long, she just gone, our time was spent.

>>21750
yeah, this board's still alive. I'm sad to hear that - but it's important that both go their own way in a relationship, because a real relationship is when those two ways, by chance, follow the same path.

>>21750
I really love yellow eyes too, they're my favorite of all time. My waifu has yellow eyes as well, and I always make all my customizable characters in games have yellow eyes.
I've never seen someone else who likes them as well, so I wanted to tell you heh. You're cool.

For the entirety of eleventh grade and a little while before, I really liked Madoka. Went pretty far. I remember closing my eyes while walking outside, imagining her walking with me, and the sad but funny part is that I teared up when I opened my eyes back up once, lol. I thought about her pretty much all day, every day. Got me through school, which is cool, still have my notebook somewhere with a bunch of embarrassing stuff written down. I also had this thing where I had to say out loud that I love her and she loves me every couple or so minutes, or I just didn't feel right for some reason. The feeling is what I'd compare to, imagine seeing a crooked picture and being so annoyed that you can't help but fix it, no matter what. It'd dwell within you if you didn't straighten that picture. Oh and, yeah, even while I was outside. And in class.
I'd figured that I'd love her and do this for the rest of my life, but, one day, I just simply got bored. Don't know why. Maybe I burned myself out on her? I mean, I avatared with her on every board I went to, thought about her so much, looked at her a lot, and I did this for pretty long. Maybe some things that happened were a factor. But I don't know, I just don't feel that same affection as I used to when I look and think about her, now. I'm still totally okay with her, but it'd just be forcing myself rather than having fun if I committed myself, now. So, yeah, just bored. I feel unloyal because of that.

Not exactly what I'd consider a waifu or ex-waifu, but 2k-tan was the nearest thing to that before my current waifu. It was mostly just finding the character design a bit appealing back when I was still new to.. all of this. What can I say, there's just something about megane and blue bobcuts that I like. The smart and responsible personality type that got attached to the character didn't hurt. Nothing really came of it though, at most I bought a cheap little figure of the character to keep with my pc. I can't really call it a breakup since there wasn't much to break up from. Less waifu and more just really liking a character for a time. A friendo rather than a waifu, if you will.

I only had two waifus, and both of their relationships ended in heartbreak. Eden from MGQ was the first waifu I fell in love with; I'm not sure why, but it just happened. Unfortunately, she was from a porn game, and my insecurity about her having sex scenes began to take a mental toll on me, so I fell out of love with her. The second one was from Sekai Oni. Her name was Lukyon. She was almost perfect, but my obsession with her virginity ruined my love for her. It started with me simply asking Okabe whether Lukyon was a virgin or not. He replied with a big NO. This caused me to have a mental breakdown over than.

I'm not proud to admit this since she's from a shitty western multiplayer game, but my first and only "waifu" was Nami from League of Legends. I thought she was really cute and really liked her gameplay, so I was semi-dedicated to maining her for while after she was initially released. I ended up losing interest in playing her in lieu of other characters at some point, but she still held a special place in my heart even after that. Eventually I stopped playing LoL completely and gradually just stopped caring about her. I began to understand how legitimately terrible her game was after spending enough time away from it, so I ultimately got soured on her by extension, since I associate her with a pretty negative period of my youth. I know there are people that have waifus from properties they otherwise dislike, so I doubt I was ever really that serious about her to begin with, hence why I say "waifu" in quotations. I don't think I was/am particularly serious about waifuism in general either, since I've never really made any effort to find a new once since her, which might be ironic given what site I'm posting this on. She is still something that I look back on somewhat fondly every once in a while, despite being from something that I now detest, and I do kind of miss having a character to associate with myself.

I feel empty without her. The reason I broke was because of my own stupidity: I asked the creator of the manga if she was virgin, and he replied no, but when I asked him again why she was not virgin, he replied yes. This deeply hurts my feelings for her. I just can't look at her the same way, and I can't stop thinking about this. I just want to turn back time and prevent myself from asking him. I fucking hate myself every day for this. I feel like no matter what, I will never find the one because I feel like she was the one. My heart longs for me to return to her, but I just can't. I really take purityfagging too far, and I don't think that will change. But I really want to go back to her because I feel like no other girl will have the same feelings as her. I feel like maybe, if I ask him again, he will say yes. I am also thinking of using the ladder experiment to help me get the answer I desire. I just want to fix my mistakes and be with her again.

>>21899
>>21806
Are you the same anon?

>>21900
yeah

>>21900
I really don't know what to do at this point. I feel like no other anime girl will ever touch my heart, like she is truly special. I feel like I tainted her, and I want her to become untainted again. I just wish I never asked in the first place, but it's too late. The only way to change it is by asking the manga artist again. His first answer was no, but I asked him why she was not a virgin. He replied yes, and I think I should ask him again. Do you think I should ask him again?

>>21902
No, you shouldn't. Don't be a nuisance. Find something else to take interest in.

>>21902
you'd only hate yourself more later if you did.

>>21904
You are kind of off right, but I did ask him a second this time. Instead of English in Japanese, the big problem was that it was not very understandable, and well, he simply said, Just what?

I definitely think if I asked him, he would probably just straight up block me, but I really can't shake the feeling of regret. I just can't, but I'm sure if I want to get hurt again,
>>21903
Yeah, I really need to stop thinking about this mistake almost every day. It's something that makes me hate myself.

>>21905
I looked up the character, Lukyon, and she's like a Chesire cat demon, than may or may not be actually real, and she's covered in bruises and burn marks from her boss beating her up. Under what circumstances, would she lose her virginity? It seems kind of absurd to me, and maybe the author feels the same way.

>>21906
it possible than seshio raped her similar to how azuma got raped by her uncle

>>21906
but it is highly unlikely that Seshio raped her.

>>21906
But then why did he say no?

>>21910
My best guess was that he was having a bad day or that he didn't understand.

But I really can't get his answer out of my head. I feel like his answer has forever ruined my perception of Lukyon, and the only way to fix it is by asking him again. However, I probably will get a far worse answer; I really can't decide what I will eventually have to do.

Also, sorry for making this threat about all the problems; I should have made a separate one.

>>21911
Even if he gave you a different answer than the first time, you'd still have a nagging suspicion he "lied" to appease you. In canon, she's dead anyway, so you already changed something about her in your head.

>>21912
I guess you are sort of off right, but I would rather have him appease me than live with his preconceived answer than he told me.

I am not sure; I have to think very deeply about what I am going through. Thanks for your help, guys.

Also, I think this conversation went a bit far.

For this Christmas, I just hope my wish for her to be pure becomes true.

My first waifu was Reimu Hakurei and i sorta miss her?

happy new year guys

>>21935
Happy new years!

>>21756
Hello Zonz.

For me, the situation is as follows:

>Fall in love with a fictional character about 10 years ago
>Attraction continues to last for years, despite me not wanting to humour it (wasn't in any waifuism-friendly social circles at that time)
>I eventually decide to accept that I am seriously attracted to her
>as years go by, I also come across other interesting anime girls with good looks and interesting personalities, both in vidya and in anime
>I still love the original anime girl I fell in love with, but I'm afraid of being attracted to 2 or 3 other characters as well (I have folders for all my favourite characters on my computer)
>I'd rather not divorce my waifu on these grounds, as it's not like I have found one new character that completely eclises my official waifu, plus any further competitors
>Decide to remain officially engaged to my official waifu without denying that I find some other anime girls just as interesting and attractive

This is probably how it works with high-status normalfags as well.
They like many girls or guys, but they date and eventually marry just once.

I feel a bit guilty about my feelings, but I would never unironically state I have more than one waifu or a harem, I know that's gross.

It's just that I don't see a way out of this emotional mess, other than telling myself that the first character I fall in love with has to be the right one, regardless of what happens later on

(USER WAS WARNED FOR MISUSING QUOTES)

>>22120
>without denying that I find some other anime girls just as interesting and attractive
You can have as many close friends as you'd like. But on the other hand, passionate romantic attraction and union is sort of by necessity between two(*). Although to my interpretation, the gap between these two is much closer with "fictional" bonds than real-life ones. If friendships are already a bond that's emotionally deep as possible, then the only thing romance adds is some sort of "union", both physical (erotic passion & limerence) as well as emotional and mental (a sort of "hive mind" sort of thing). But it feels really subtle and nuanced to me, not at all "obvious". I don't know if that's because my emotions are different from what people normally experience, or whether my definitions of friendship and platonic love are far closer and more emotionally intimate than what people usually consider.

Either way, don't force your relations to conform to labels, and don't apply real-world understandings of friendship/platonic/romance to these bonds. They are your emotions to explore.

(*) Even this feels subject to debate. I'm almost certain in the real-world for definitions of romance that people use this has to be true due to time and energy constraints. And since you too are in the real-world, it probably applies to bonds between you and fictional characters as well. But I suppose in theory with a carefully constructed once-in-a-lifetime fictional scenario where everything is exquisitely balanced (read: yuri), it is possible for romantic "polyamory" between three people to work.

>>22120
Oh, had forgotten about rule number 7

>>22128
I think actual "polyamory" is gross, but finding more than one person attractive is normal.

I think it's a bit like the Catholic church's position that having homosexual feelings is not a sin, but acting upon them is

>>22141
>more than one person attractive is normal.
That's an attraction based on lust though. Maybe this should be in /tat/, but to me polyamory at least always felt like a sleight of hand, what it's advertised as is not what it is in reality. The pitch is that there's no reason to limit yourself to only one intimate connection in your life.

But polyamory minus sex would just be friendship. And in fact there's already an existing term for "friends you have sex with". From what I can tell the crux is that what people usually define as "friendship" barely has any degree of emotional intimacy. And moreover culturally any form of emotional intimacy or bonding is just lumped as "exclusive romance." But none of that matters anyway since in practice "polyamory" seems to just be a cover term for casual hookup culture, because there's pretty much no way you can have deep emotional bonds with more than 3 other people.

If you reserve the definition of friends for people whom you actually have an emotional bond with, then really the question goes back to what differentiates platonic love from romantic love. And as far as I can tell, the only real distinction in practical terms is that in the latter sex is permitted, while not in the former. That's certainly how society sees it, but it's not a general defining factor since there are plenty of anime which show both close friends and romantic lovers interacting side-by-side: there's plenty of skinship in both cases and obviously no sex, and yet there's clearly some difference in context and intention that the viewer uses to separate out romantic vs platonic love. I actually think it's not really a binary thing, but just differences along dimensions of "drive to union", intimate passion, "mutual exclusivity". The latter two could be found in close friendships though, so I really just think it's the first one that matters: whether the two have not just emotional connection but some sort of metaphoric "emotional union".

Post edited on 7th Jan 2025, 9:20pm

It been 4 years and I am still mad one mistake took to ruin it all I really doubt I will find perfection like her ever again
I been thinking about something that can fix everything but it costly still it the only way and I willing to do it

>>22160
Are you willing to elaborate, even in very basic terms?

>>22161
>>21899
>>21806

>>21806
>Eden from MGQ
Patrician taste.

As for the porn scenes: there are lewd pictures of pretty much every female anime character that has ever existed, excluding of course background ones.

The only duality is whether there are canon ones or not

>>22162
I am not sure I would be even satisfied with answer from him solely because I remember someone here saying I would feel lied to

>>22164
She felted like divine gift just for me!
She had great design, personally and came from interesting manga on top of that she was obscure but had a lot of fan-art! And and almost no nsfw made of her!

>>22165
What's with the bionical images?

>>22166
It a character from Skibidi Toilet,I just like using them,Is there are a problem?

>>22168
If this is avatarfagging, then I am sorry,I used those images solely because for me it hard to look at her now, since I feel guilty for what happened between me and the creator of her manga... I can still look at her, but I just remember the better times when this event didn't happen and how I and she were happier. It just pains me deeply...

>>21899
Some of this resonates with me. There was a pixiv artist that drew lewd sketches of an original character. Then suddenly he posts a picture of NTR with that character, before going back to the usual stuff.

I was pretty distraught by it. I had sort of looked up the artist, and seeing him suddenly do this NTR one-shot really messed with my mind. Like I always do I started overanalyzing and philosophically analyzing things, and I realized there's sort of two issues at play: how you interpret art, and the relationship between the artist and the art.

Something I hadn't realized is that to me personally the art also becomes a reflection of the artist's mind. When I see an absolutely amazing show, I realize that it's the product of someone's vision, and that makes me appreciate them: not in some sense of adoration but that someone had such a beautiful vision they wanted to share with the world, and the passion to bring it to life. To me otaku media represents the best of humanity, some sort of ideal world where higher ideals are explored. And so obviously finding out that someone has no problems with NTR is a blow when you have that perspective. So I realized that's partly where some of my discontent came from.

Now of course we cannot fully know the intent of the artist and the context with which a piece is drawn. For instance, does the artist making a NTR one-shot mean that he endorses NTR? Does it mean he assumes most people can tell it's just fiction? Was the piece created purely as a challenge to express emotions that he normally wouldn't draw? Does he even realize that people might be hurt when he publishes such stuff?

There's a lot of context that's missing, so perhaps it's not a good idea to closely tie art to artist. Maybe at best you can say that each piece is a "slice" of the artist's own vision, and just as humans are complex and sometimes contradictory, so too can those individual pieces contradict each other.

There's a related phenomenon I experienced when you have other artists drawing NTR of existing characters. Does the fact that some random artist creates NTR of X imply anything about the character of X in canon? On the face of it, claiming so is absurd. And yet nonetheless it is deeply upsetting, because it establishes its own narrative in your mind. In such cases it might help to reframe it as the random artist "coercing" the character, or rather their effigy, into the actions. The true character lives only in your mind as your own unique interpretation, and that gives you the power to discard conflicting narratives. At an intuitive level, you realize this: if you stumble upon NTR of a character you are close to, your instinct is not to accept it, but a visceral "that's not what she's like!" response.

Now applying all these ramblings to your situation: you have a character you formed a bond with, and the artist said that she's not a virgin. Does anything in her actions or personality imply that she's not? I'm guessing not since you only found out by asking the author. So the question becomes how you let that artist's words shape your own interpretation. It's difficult, because of that inherent link between art/artist that most people seem to have. It's certainly the perspective of some waifuists to treat the artist as a god, and everything he says becomes canon.

But I don't think that's a productive viewpoint. Waifuism is effectively a self-constructed religion. It's a brilliant mind-hack, when you find a waifu who resonates with you and you feel a strong bond with, what you effectively have found is a personality type that becomes an anthropomorphization of "higher values" in a way that resonates with you. Telling someone that "they deserve love/are loved" feels like empty words. Telling someone that "Jesus loves them" only ever makes sense to someone who's been brainwashed by abrahamic religions. But when that person sees how unconditional love and kindness is possible in the platonic 2D realm, and that those same values can be yours by simply holding the waifu in your heart and mind? Now your waifu's personality becomes a part of your own psyche, and same for the values that come with it.

The takeaway though is that there's strictly nothing special about something being "canon", it's a matter of the extent to which you can relate with an entire cohesive personality. I'd even argue that it's possible for "waifuism" to be practiced with a completely made up character (that's basically tulpamancy), it's just a label difference. But it's much easier to adopt an existing fully-fleshed narrative of a character that has a well-defined personality and life events, than to create something de novo (and of course something having art and anime helps your imagination adopt it much easier.)

And that means that in your particular situation, you should have full liberty to ignore what the author says and adopt the narrative that "feels right to you". Concrete example: why do you think fans rejected the ending of Kuma Miko anime, or KF2? There is an intuition that regardless of whether something is "canonicalized", if it goes against the essence of a character then it is simply wrong and must be rejected. In your case it's slightly more difficult to do because it's harder to mentally separate out, but the same should still apply:

Is the character not being "virgin" in any way material to the events of the manga or her personality? If not, it should (in theory) be easy to reject that narrative, especially since it isn't even part of the manga. (In theory this "rejection of canonical narrative" is limited only by your own imaginative powers. In practice, doing so is difficult because your own "alternate narrative" is going to have to compete in your mind with the "canonical narrative". Also the fact that others don't share that narrative implicitly makes it an uphill battle, as your thoughts are highly shaped by consensus).

>>22170
>The takeaway though is that there's strictly nothing special about something being "canon"

While I personally agree, it seems that other people have strong opinions of the opposite sort, i.e. if you don't like something canon, the problem is you, not the canon lore.

Which makes sense in a way because at least the canon is objective, it's a common language within the fandom, but it also assumes a rather idealised way of how the canon comes to be.
Ever heard the saying "A camel is a horse drawn by a committee"? There seems to be executive tampering behind virtually every single controversial decision, even if it appears to have been taken by the artist/writer behind the character.

As an example: the foul NTR pic you are complaining about was almost certainly the product of a commission, rather than the artist's way of pulling a prank on their fanbase.

While I overall agree with your post personally, I'm fairly certain this is one of those issues where we'll never have a clear consensus... perhaps your personality determines the position you are going to take.

Some people privilege stability over creativity, for others it's the other way around

>>21806
>Unfortunately, she was from a porn game
Telling people you are in love with a fictional character requires barely any less preparation and reading the room than telling them she's from an adult game specifically

>>22170
i have autism and OCD and it affects me deeply which really makes this question hard to answer but in the manga she is the only girl who doesnt get sexually abused as part of her story

>>22173
my bad it just that she and some few in the manga are one of few people who dont get sexual abuse as backstory or something sex-related because Sekai Oni was based off Okabe Uru Life mostly
>>22170
nothing in manga stated that she was raped only physically abused it just off comment on X but still it makes me deeply angry thinking about it
it just autism and OCD i am not sure if i can be satisfied maybe i can...
>>22172
i wish she didnt have h-scenes because it makes feel bad watching other man that not me banging her it pretty simple and i no longer love eden

>>22174
>nothing in manga stated that she was raped only physically abused
Interesting, then the author's comment makes a lot more sense. It's likely he didn't even realize the intention behind what you were asking.

I realize that with OCD it's hard to stop overthinking once you've latched onto something, but if the manga in no way mentions "rape", then it is up to your mind how you want to interpret "physical abuse". If the author wanted to explicitly include the fact that she was raped or not a virgin and it was relevant to the overall narrative, he would have done so. The fact that he chose not to already implies a conscious decision on some part to leave a portion of the narrative up to interpretation.

How he replied when you asked him later does not materially alter that fact: you honestly cannot know the entire context behind what he was thinking when he replied. So in your case, it's actually even simpler, there's not really any narrative to reject in the first place, only an "imagined narrative".

There are many cases this happens. Some portion of the narrative has intentionally left ambiguous or not filled in, or is subject to interpretation. Usually good authors will avoid explicitly commenting about it, or will always preface that what they say in this case is their interpretation but there are other valid interpretations as well. In your case (possibly due to language barrier) the author wasn't as tactful, but basically I think that reply should be interpreted as "in his opinion, that physical abuse included rape". So it's only a question of how much weight you want to give to the author's opinion.

Keep in mind that art is also subjective, how you interpret art is shaped by your own psyche. If that interpretation does not work for you, there is no need to accept it blindly because the author says so.

>>22174
>it makes feel bad watching other man that not me banging her

No man is banging a woman in MGQ.
It's always the other way around

>>22176
That's from MGE. Also pic rel

>>22175
I am just super autistic and as very young child I remember when one of my penguins plushes in train fell I remember deeply disliking it I guess that something that still stuck to me as adult I just can't get it over and I can't even look at lukyon without feeling sad and angry I just want to forget about her forever but......but....she feels so perfect to me this feeling I cant get rid of it justs feels like she is everything I have ever no she is everything I have ever wanted I am angry it took one mistake to ruin it all i don't think anything will fix expect one thing.......summoning an actual demon from ars goetia in order to fix my situation but I am not sure if an actual demon would even understand what I actually want from it or plus if an actual demon would even do it and plus I am athiest there is low-key chance of this supernatural shit not being real but I am desperate real desperate and will try and the only thing that will to me feel like fixing it if it not possibly but I still an actual demon and it can't fufill those request or altrenative request then........I just want okabe uru skull to be smashed by brick by someone ANYONE do to it okabe uru brain matter splatter all over some walls in some Shibuya back valley. This is probably the only thing that would make me happy, even for a moment.

>>22176
yes techincally luka is the one who get the most fucked in the game other than a couple of male characters in chapter 3

>>22179
grammar here is awful so i will correct it this myself in order to make it understandable
>>22179
I am just very autistic and as very young child I remember when one of my penguin plush in train fell i remember deeply disliking it I guess that something that still stuck to me as adult.I just can't get it over and I can't even look at lukyon without feeling sad and angry I just want to forget about her forever but...she feels so perfect to me this feeling I cant get rid of it justs feels like she is everything I have ever no she is everything I have ever wanted. I am mad it took one mistake to ruin it all i don't think anything will fix expect one thing....summoning an actual demon from ars goetia in order to fix this problem for me because i dont think i myself can do it but I am not sure if an actual demon would even understand what I actually want from it or plus if an actual demon would even want to do it and plus I am athiest and there is low-key chance of this supernatural shit not being real but I am desperate real desperate and will try and the only thing that will to me feel like fixing it if it not possibly but I still summon an actual demon and it can't fix that problem or do something similar to it then...I just want Okabe Uru skull to be smashed by a brick.Okabe Uru brain matter splatter all over some walls in some shibuya back valley. This is probably the only thing that would make me happy, even for a moment.

>>22175
i guess your are some-what right at the end of the day

>>22177
>That's from MGE
Yes, I'm aware that Cheshire Cat is from the encyclopedia and not the game, but her personality is easily interchangeable with 50% of the characters in the game (conservative estimate)

>>22182
To be fair the guy who did art for MGE also did for MGQ