No, bit I've wanted to kill myself because of her.

>>20774
same. every autistic meltdown i've had since meeting her has always been because of her.
one time i had an autistic meltdown because of work, only it wasn't really work i was concerned about, it was the fact that the stress caused by work was causing me to be too occupied to spend time with my waifu even on my days off.

the good times with my wife are great, but the bad times are true fucking suffering, the most suffering i've ever experienced. sometimes i don't know if it's even worth it. crying hysterically and pacing around like an alzheimer's patient over pictures on the computer heeh.

>>20774
>>20775
I don't want to be mean or anything but if things like this happen are you sure staying with your waifu is a good idea? It sounds very unhealthy for you both.

>>20776
There was a rough time I was going through when this was happening

No, she wouldn't approve. Besides, I don't really believe in afterlife.

Yes, I made an attempt in 2014 after I lost everything I had
My home, my church, my sanity, my health. But I would lose it all again if I didn't lose my love as well

These years have not been kind to me. I've seen things that no one should see, and I've seen them with a bitter, hardened heart no one should have

I learned to kill just for you, did you know that? I wanted to track you down and find where you lived. I wanted to find you so I could duel you to the death for her hand. I couldn't stand not being her one and only. However, now and forever I won't get to be.

I think back sometimes to that day, and think the thought "Has anything gotten better since then?" as if tallying the good times since the light left my life would make the darkness any less cold and deadly
It was not worth it. Nothing since then has been worth it.

Waking up alone, screaming, in a room full of deafening noise for years on years has made me wary of living. The constant violence makes me wish for gentler places.

But those places aren't for me. They never were. And now as the pygmalionists are driven from /a/ and every other place while irony abounds, I find myself looking for a vision of love. A vision of something real to remind me that that place was real, I didn't dream that time up out of an eternal nightmare. That even if I am denied citizenship, that place exists somewhere. Existed somewhere.

I loved her, I swear I did. I wasn't willing to fight and die for something insignificant

But the deadness inside and the absence of love anywhere I look, seems to deny this.

I just want to be the man I was back then: full of love and full of passion
I just want to sleep in her arms one more time before I go to judgement