Not exactly in the same situation, but in a similar. My waifu has limited content to begin with and more will likely not come. It is almost ridiculously limited. I fell in love with very well made fan-art/fanfiction. I thought the original would be similar to the fan art. The original is pure shit - I do not even want to look at it.

The material that made me fall in love gives not much detail, but a very good basic idea of her, and if I am careful, I can sense her essence and create new content myself like when writing fanfiction. It would be nice to have more finished material, but it is not my case. I have to keep it alive in other ways.

I believe when we fall in love, we project our subconscious desires outside ourselves, and that is the reason we fall in love with someone - they remind us of what we most desire. Her essence is outside me in the form of art, but my subconsciousness also have an idea of her essence, or I would not recognize the right art and deeply fall in love. By knowing her essence, I can start to uncover more of my deeper desires and I will realize how to write fanfiction that is faithful to the essence.

How do I know I am not just making things up by whimsy desires? The limited material gave me enough to get a sense of her. It is about building on what you have in a faithful way. My waifu will never turn into a promiscuous carnal woman for example. For this reason I can not invent heavy makeup, overly sexy clothes etc. and write such fiction of her. That would be to betray the essence I know of her. It would be like using her for whatever I desire, and then I do not regard it as a waifu relationship. Sexuality is a great test on this because it is a strong force. I am not allowed to look at other women in lustful ways and obviously not do anything else, because I know she does not want it - due to us being monogamous and due to the nature of our relationship that relates to the essence of her. I can not momentarily fantasize about her in just any way I desire, because I know it would betray her essence. Thus, I do not only shape my fan-fiction but also my life by the essence I know her to have - in this sense it is alive. (I think she will take the initiative when I get it right about her.)

I guess it is headcanon. I have limited material. This is different from when you have rich but old and finished material, but this is a way to keep it alive. Luckily I manage this, and maybe she would not come to me in this way otherwise. Maybe we all get the type of source we are able to handle.

Post edited on 30th Apr 2017, 6:58am

Sometimes I go looking for new fanart or doujins, something which inevitably disappoints me because for some reason people love to put her into weird fetishistic situations. This picture isn't even the worst of it, you haven't seen the 5 doujin series of her being raped by some sort of furry tentacle slug monster while under bondage.

Post edited on 30th Apr 2017, 3:27am