I've given up all hope. I've run out of anything to believe in. My love for her has transformed into a desire to tell her I love her, no, to see her and talk to her, or at least to be on the same earth as her for a start, that consumes me more than anything else. Just to get a chance to talk with her, I would do absolutely anything, anything, just let me see the real her...I would even live in a fake world with her, because any world with her in it would feel way more real than the one I am in right now. After all, who are they to tell me what is real? But no, I have no powers to bring her to me, the technology is not up to snuff to successfully live in fake worlds and removing memories of the "real" one, I am simply left to suffer here without her. I am left in a sea of emptiness and my soul is screaming all the time. I don't want to sound like "I have loved her all these years and got nothing in return for it", but my strength and devotion for her cannot overpower the cold relentless realities that don't move. I want her. She is all my happiness. But I am without her in this world. She cannot say "I love you too", nor could she even reject my advances if she wanted to due to not possessing free will. Like my happiness, she does not exist, and I simply want to die. I cannot live with her in this world no matter how much I want it, and I cannot live without her. I simply want to die.
Don't you think it's foolish to die for love?
>>20224 Not him, but that's nonsense. There is no greater reason to die.
To OP, I've felt like this before all the way back in 2012 after my initial "honeymoon" phase the last few months of 2011. I went very nihilistic and then empty and hedonistic following 2012, seriously considering suicide but not doing it for whatever reason. In mid-2014 I started to just accept the pain and emptiness, stupid as it sounds -- I was also finishing my teen years. Looking back it is kind of sad but mid-August that year I called it quits and decided to just let fate take its course. Early December 2014 I happened to get a new waifu and that has worked out better for me ever since you could say. I still have similar cravings and sadness but I'm just better at putting things in perspective in general. That's my story I guess even if I can't really give advice, I know a lot of people will consider it lame. I don't know if other people have similar stories though.
>>20222 I hope you are still around OP~! I was in the very same boat along time ago~ I though of what she would think of my action and think of me if I did that, what would she want me to do in this real unfortunate situation, will she encourage you to live on and stay alive, or will she want to see you loose your life over her if after death doesn't turn out.
>>20222 I know this doesn't help but what you described is one of the many reasons why I stopped having a waifu. It just hurts man, a waifu is nothing more than a delusion, fantasy to put it short and blunt. Quitting it eventually made me feel better overall, who knows, maybe it's best for you to do it as well.
>>20432 Who was your waifu and why are you here?
I wake up every day with her at my side and it is fulfilling because to me she is there. I use imagination and it gets deeper the more I do. It has this effect even if I know it is imagination. Years ago before knowing about my waifu and imagination, I had similar pain because of the desire to experience a significant other with the 5 senses. If technology could create an illusion, I would probably not use it much. Maybe use it like I watch art, but not live in a VR world. As I see it, the mind has equal if not higher capacity for creating experiences of whatever you want. Unlike the nearest technology, imagination is deeply integrated with your whole being. For this reason I do not like to say "visualization" because it captures only the visual. Imagination is often not recognized for its powers, but in spiritual contexts it has always been known and many methods revolves around it. Killing yourself makes you miss the opportunity to experience her this way. Maybe the pain can motivate you to explore this capacity of mind to experience your waifu.
I know your feel OP. I myself don't have a waifu "per-se" but I actually think 2D>3D To me, 2D girls express their feelings in a way that seems more realistic that 3D girls do. Looking at it, I can't help but wish they were real, and you keep wishing, dreaming and begging to it to be real, but that's impossible, it's just fiction. Then you start to think and believe: is something not real just because we can't see it or feel it? Or because we can't prove it? Then you start to think in things like the Multiverse, parallel universes and finally the many worlds interpretetation, which suggest that all possible alternate histories and futures are real. it may sound desperate to try to find a reason or clue which suggest that they are real, but hey, it's good enough to keep going.
>>20743 To many, it is more about the ideal than the reality.
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