I think we might agree; it's one of those things I have trouble explaining and I wasn't very clear on what you take issue with. Might be too much of a pretentious tl;dr but you might get something out of it.
The only reality we can know is imperfect perception of true reality. So if there's an apple on the table I may say it's a red apple but my red may not be the same as another mans red. It could appear spottier, lighter, or darker. Think of taking a picture of the apple. It's a good imitation but when you start to drill into it you'll see imperfections. The color isn't quite right, there's too much glare over here caused by the flash, etc. Some cameras create a better copy than others, and some of those imperfections add to the shot. It's not wildly off but there are noticeable differences.
As things get more complex they're more prone to misinterpretation. So you imperfectly read people's emotions, misinterpret an idea, that sort of thing. We're taking pictures of reality but we aren't processing them perfectly. So there's all sorts of imperfections. With so many variables each and every person perceives reality a bit differently. Not by a lot unless they have some sort of mental condition, but it is different. I should note I'm not a solipsist; there is a world outside our heads but knowing it is incredibly difficult. Everyone trying to observe such a thing is doing so through their own flawed perception.
I believe reality is, in a sense, like pic related. It's as if we're watching a movie about our best guess of what's in front of us. A self-created simulation if you will. Other people exist in an objective reality but again we can only know them through our imperfect, subjective lens. So we try and assess their qualities but inevitably assign ones they may or may not have. It's probably fair to assume a bookish girl is shy, for example, even though we don't know that yet. This influences feelings and attitudes towards said girl as you have an emulation of her in your head.
(I admit this part is rather shaky since I'm yet to make sense of consciousness and free will. It just doesn't make sense and ultimately I find it doesn't matter to me that much. As long as it feels like it exists I'm fine with it.)
I believe fiction is enjoyable because it triggers many of the same responses actually performing an action would. That is we emulate the people, the events, sensations and feel anger, love, hatred, sadness, etc as appropriate. Of course it's not quite perfect since there's so many inputs fiction doesn't give us. Smell, body language, visual input, sound. It all makes a difference. But such sensations can be invoked which allows for daydreaming about possible events or just for plain old fun. And with practice you can make such delusions more lifelike and vivid.
I see my waifu as something that started in someone elses head, passed to me (through my own flawed perception) and was then further developed through my own daydreams about us together. About her beliefs and preferences, and so on. It's as if her creator had a cold and I caught it. Then the cold mutated inside my body. Still that same cold but a slightly different strain that's acclimated itself to me over time.
I treat the emulation as my wife since I see it as the source of most of my affections. If I'm correct about all this then you cannot love another person; only your perception of them. A 2D relationship is quite different though since you don't have all that data from objective reality coming in to flesh out the emulation. So few people find it satisfying.
From my own personal experience I believe this emulation is fairly complex. That you keep "copies" of people you're close to in order to better understand them. Love them, get ahead of them, keep them on your side, etc. And you're usually completely unaware of all this going on but rarely they surface as a second personality, often in bad circumstances leading to it being a rather frightful experience. At this point though the whole thing gets rather fringe which usually turns off the few people still listening.
Hopefully I didn't bore you to death and made some sense. I find it fascinating to think about and have been steadily making better sense of it.