Try it and then tell us about it.

If I had, I'd be dead.

>>21244
You some kind of spirit medium?

You do not need to die.
To be dead.
Reborn alive.

The internet has rapidly become a homogenized sea of marketing, propaganda and shills. I can no longer identify with any community and my sense of self has experienced rapid degradation. I feel mentally unrecognizable and will end up committing suicide if the haze doesn't alleviate itself.

At the time I was deadly depressed and in sort of a hypnotized state, like I only was half-awake all the time. My thoughts would trail off into self-loathing, which gave me a strange pleasure like I felt relieved from the responsibility and expectations by degrading myself more and more to a wet blanked.

I deliberately listened to depressing music for the same reason. It just felt good. After some days of total apathy I took a heroic dose of sleeping pills. My attitude was something like 'Let's see how this goes. If I die, so be it.' The action was more like flipping a coin or playing russian roulette, hoping for the bullet not even sure whether I want it or not.

Two days later I woke up in a hospital. A friend found me and called the ambulance. Back at my place the whole incident felt more like a movie or a dream. The worst thing about it was the shock my friend and family got and the distrust they held since then.

Overall my situation has bettered slightly since then. Maybe one gets used to it over time. Maybe this is just what people call adulthood. Maybe I'm fucking stupid, who knows.

>>21263
Any community at large is like that. You need to find a smaller, tight-knit community where everyone knows each other and everyone is friends, like a really small chatroom or IRC or something.

>>21268
This comes with its own repercussions and drawbacks as well, and may be even harder to integrate into than a larger community. >>21263's problem seems to be of a more fundamental kind though, more akin to a loss of self-identity perhaps through a loss of relatable characters. Browsing any larger forum and treating it as a sort of sitcom may help short-term.

>if the haze doesn't alleviate itself
Could you be speaking about the mind-fog frequently mentioned among isolated individuals or do you use this expression to communicate something else? In the former case there are, admittedly questionable due to the imprecise and little-investigated disease pattern but likely worthwhile, methods to try to alleviate it.

>>21269
Addendum:
"The internet has rapidly become a homogenized sea of marketing, propaganda and shills." remains valid though. Not even trying to argue this away.

methods attempted:
- wrist slashing (couldnt bring myself to dig deep enough)
- drug overdose (neighbor heard me having a seizure)
- dehydration (dad heard me spewing and having a seizure)

Also, anyone who says "shill" needs to go back to 4chan.

>>21271
>couldnt bring myself to dig deep enough
I think the problem is the misconception of going across the wrist when it's supposed to be down the arm. The goal is to bleed out, but cutting across a vain leaves only a relatively small opening that can be clogged up, but if cut goes along the vain it creates a much larger opening which is much harder to repair.

>>21275
Yes, but it's exploded in popularity in the past 6 months. Shitposting did not originate on 4ch either, but it's a term that only the knuckledraggers from 4ch bring with them onto other boards.

>>21263
Ever thought about not bothering with communities at the moment and just focusing on yourself in the meantime? Might also help with that other problem you mentioned...

>>21276
>6 months
I remember everyone saying "shill" years ago.

Hanging:
I tried this every morning for a week or so. I would position it so it would block my arteries when I put my weight on the rope. Each time I started to black out I would chicken out. I think it would have been painless if done properly, I nearly went unconscious a few times and didn't feel terribly uncomfortable. This was my first method because I don't have a gun.

Carbon Monoxide:
Pretty sure I posted about this on tc. I took a tent and charcoal burners into the forest. It was winter and fairly cold, but when I lit all the burners in the tent it got super hot and smoky. If I was more determined I probably would have just put up with it, but a lack of determination or effort in any direction is pretty much why I want to kill myself. Go figure. I also burned my hand on the zip getting out of the tent.

Barbiturates (Nembutal):
I have these now, ordered off the internet and tested with a kit. I also have antiemetics so I don't vomit them all up. Even though I have the best and easiest suicide method available I am still too cowardly to swallow them.

>>21300
This made me sad. I hope you will somehow get better and if not at least don't have to suffer a painful death.

Tried sleeping pills and the ol' bag around the head. Couldn't fall asleep. Might go for the jump soon. Don't have a ton of height to work with here, even if I can get on the roof. If my body goes undiscovered for a bit, perhaps the cold will claim me.

Please don't kill yourself, it's really not a great answer. There are probably ways you can change your life or your perception of yourself to make it more enjoyable.

If you must, wear a diaper and leave a note. Think about the people who'll survive you.

>>21300
have you tried a course of antidepressants for a minimum of 3 months

>>21305
Six different SSRIs and some more uncommon ones (agomelatine, bupropion, mirtazapine, MAOIs). Everything was trialed for at least six weeks. I don't think I am actually clinically depressed -- anhedonia, amotivation and apathy are just core part of my personality or something at this point.

>>21304
It's an understandable answer, Ford Driver.