No matter how self-aware I am, I'm still a sheltered manchild that watches minecraft videos all day. I just don't mind eating shit.

This is what they call 'mind-break', isn't it?

I've always been like that, but I wouldn't say it's childish. In a way, if you think about it, being amazed and capable of enjoying simple, subtle things is far more grown-up than being attracted to things that are amazing. Take the example of children loving explosions, colors and feats of strength, but being unable to grasp beauty in simple and daily things.

>>21087

I had never feel like a child, nor like a teen or an adult, I have always felt very out of place, like if something was very wrong with me.

I felt like a child in my late teens-early 20s, but was because I was doped up and treated like a retarded baby by my parents. I would be an excellent example of someone who was severely psychologically and emotionally abused, and ended up being broken.

Outside of that, though, I don't feel like any age. Before the aforesaid period, I felt older, and I now feel older again. I feel as if I've been anything and everything in my 32 years.

I guess what is kind of childish is that I don't have any kids/relationship and I don't have a job, but I'm wise enough to know that those things do not make you a worthwhile person in any way, at least on the inside. They simply make you more useful to others. I suppose that is what a real adult is supposed to be: something to be used. That is how most people judge others, it seems. When people know that I have no job and no kids, most see me as a loser. But you know what? The rest play a game where even if you win, you lose, and I won the game by realizing it isn't worth winning in the first place. Or at least, so I tell myself.

I just try to contemplate things now, and see if there is more to this world, or the mind, that most people realize. I don't any tangible goals outside of getting a book published, and I guess that being simple like that makes me enjoy life a bit more.

>>21105
I think it is fair to note that many people achieve self-fulfillment in being of use to others.

I think, more than anything, people are most fulfilled when they have a goal, and they are actively approaching it. When that goal is defined by having a positive impact to society, the individual will have feelings of satisfaction when they do stuff like volunteering, effective donations, etc. If your purpose is in wealth or power, people will feel great accumulating more wealth or power, regardless of the objective gain. And if someone's purpose is in being great at their job, they will find happiness in striving to be their best.

However, all of these are dependent on society allowing the individual to pursue their purpose, preferably unmolested. If someone is trying to be an angel in a black hole of society, it might just wear them down. If you try doing your best at a dead-end job, you will most likely be rewarded with nothing more than more work (which might be OK for some). If you are a pawn and try to play the king, you will more likely wind up with the Queen going off with your head.

For NEETs, your passive existence is inherently opposed by society, both in economic and emotional relationships. You pretty much have to support your own sense of worth, because society will ignore and deprive you for disengaging from it. As most humans need some external sense of purpose, most permanent NEETs tend to be dysfunctional in a way that weakens this link.

>>21083
Every time I catch my self falling into boredom anon.