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File 150775540373.jpg - (161.28KB , 437x707 , a0ad976dc3ef03132db301d6cd670e68.jpg )
30639 No. 30639 [Edit]
My mentally abusive, alleged "father" threw a remote control hard at me, this evening. Before that, I said that even his favourite mainstream media outlet SVT has said that basically no migrants have gotten jobs, recently (or "newly arrived" as they creepily are called, here, to explain to Swedes that they are here to forever stay and replace us); either because they haven't been qualified or don't want any, as their article said. He immediately came up with some migrant that had changed tires on his car, the other day, and that he worked "far more effectively" than the others around him. I said I would rather have seen that that job had gone to someone from here (they automatically get jobs as all Nordics now are consider second-grade people, by the state, but he's too unintelligent to get that, despite that it's been said it will be done by those he has voted in). Then when he realized I was right, he as usual started to point out how worthless I am. I pointed out that it's hard to get back to life when you have been harassed to despair by the psychiatry (he, by the way, has several times commended the worst of those psychiatrists and said "he only wanted to help me" and that my life would be good if I had listened (they wanted to commit me, give me ECT and antipsychotics, mainly for wearing "odd clothes" (normal, nowadays), being a vegetarian and wanting to become a farmer)). He said something nasty I can't remember so I said I would be better off dead. He said something like "die then," to which I replied that I actually think I might have breast cancer so maybe I will (I've realized I have faint, wide lumps where they shouldn't be, on my chest, that definitely aren't fat lumps). Then he threw the controller on me and stormed off. Then he returned, saying that if I don't stop being a "fascist" and change my attitude, he will send me out of the house. If he does that, I won't have my only reason of living, anymore; our dog.

I've decided to try to go mute in order to not speak with him. I prayed as hard as I could that he would die, but so far, none of those prayers have been listened to. Just further proof that no good god exists. I'll talk as little as possible with my mom, too, as he feels provoked when I talk with her. He really hates my guts.... I think he started hating me when I was around thirteen or so. The worst is that he keeps being kind, in between... it really messes with you. The past few years, though, my feelings about him are turning more and more into hatred. I couldn't care less if he died. I would not go to his funeral.

I'm so tired of living.... I can't even enjoy anime and visual novels, anymore. It's all become entirely meaningless. I will never find true love, either, if it even exists.... I've probably become too old, by now, also. And if I continue living around here, I am basically guaranteed to need to witness and participate in a very bad civil war. It's pretty much set in stone that it will happen, by now....
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>> No. 30640 [Edit]
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Sorry to hear that anonymous. If the fat lumps move with respect to your skin, it's probably not cancer. If they seem to be stuck to the skin (from the inside), they might be cancer. You should see a doctor about that, they can give you a breast cancer screening that doesn't take long.

I used to not speak, it can solve lots of problems but also make some other ones. It's worth trying anyway.
>> No. 30641 [Edit]
They are stuck to the skin. Maybe they are why I'm so tired, recently.
>> No. 30643 [Edit]
if your condition needed anti-psychotic medication, wouldn't this entitle you to free disability moneys and housing?
>> No. 30647 [Edit]
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Huh, almost exactly like my father, even the being nice, sometimes, only to do something that reminds you why you hate him so much part.

I've stopped talking to my father, though, for around a year or so now. It doesn't make things better but does makes certain you don't end up in long, heated arguments and want to break your head on a wall. I've no problems with my psych, so that's a difference.
'Speak not any thing rashly, and let not thy heart be hasty to utter a word before God. For God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.'

I, for one, am looking forward to impending civil war.
>> No. 30649 [Edit]
I love analyzing the mind and coming up with ideas about it and appreciate psychology in this sense, but so many psychologists disgust me. They think way too by the books way too black and white about something that is very complex with many shades of grey, everything mental is on a spectrum. Therefore people with this kind of thinking shouldn't be becoming psychologists.

To make it even worse people who are highly creative or intelligent tend to be very eccentric and tend to have similar mental extremes as a mentally ill person and a lot of these bureaucratic psychologists aren't going to see that.
>> No. 30655 [Edit]
Well.... war is never nice, though. Even if you'd get to kill all who would deserve it, lots of terrible, nightmarish stuff would happen along the way. One can only, well, attempt to pray that it won't be that bad....

Oh, the day after, he acted like nothing had happened, the day before. Even was in a good mood. I'm not sure if he understands how much damage he is doing to me, mentally... and his behaviour is just making me get even more extreme. Of course, he has no idea of deeper views of mine... his view of a "fascist" is someone who doesn't want immigration. Kind of odd how he not once talks about rescuing the persecuted Boer in South Africa or the fact that Poland has taken in lots of *actual* refugees from Ukraine. He just repeats the official EU narrative, like a parrot. It's kind of odd how he's become so politically correct, because before I realized how lied to I have been, throughout the years, he was the one who kept talking about how migrants are a problem. It's almost as if he feels I "stole his thing" so now he needs to think the opposite to what he previously did.

Yes, although their view of me was incorrect. However, I did end up getting free money after getting harassed so badly by the psychiatry.... they ruined my life, so I'm not the slightest bit thankful for it. And I do have an apartment but I hate being there. At least at home, there is our dog and my mom. I really should just get a storage place for the stuff in my apartment and move out.... even if it'd have to be back home. If I'd just stop talking anything political with him, and never responding to anything he says that I disagree with, it should be fine..

Yeah, all artists need to be medicated, in their view. They'd really have loved to "correct" Nikola Tesla, too.

I'll consider it...
>> No. 30657 [Edit]
Not him but about war... "Lots of terrible, nightmarish stuff" is already my life. It could get worse with war but not by much and every day I care less.
>> No. 30658 [Edit]
I feel you anon. My mom is similar to your father, plus she drinks. She doesn't throw stuff at me but she threw a brick into my window once. For me the only thing that works is not talking to her at all and avoid her as much as I can.

>>if I don't stop being a "fascist" and change my attitude, he will send me out of the house

Can he actually do that? I mean what's the law in your country about this and who owns the house, your mom or him? Is your apartment stable / paid for on the long term? If yes, then maybe you should just move and visit your mom and your dog when he is not at home. And before anything else certainly go and see a doctor.
>> No. 30660 [Edit]
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>Well.... war is never nice, though.
Sure, but getting a influenza injection isn't either, but it's best to get it done. And war will really test my limits, I want to know just what I can acheive when pushed.
Nobody really deserves to die, though I sure would like certain groups exterminated, but that doesn't mean they deserve it, it's just what personally think is best and I wouldn't grieve over their removal.

>I'm not sure if he understands how much damage he is doing to me, mentally... and his behaviour is just making me get even more extreme
Yeah, sounds like mine. I've concluded he must be a sort of psycopath, since clearly he is unable to process other's emotions.
Best advice I can give is to just stop talking to him.
>> No. 31575 [Edit]
He's not going to change until either a different narrative shows up on the television screen, everyone around him changes, or he's subjected to soviet style torture and brainwashing.

As for cancer treatment I recommend you read:
"Detoxify or Die" by Sherry A Rogers M.D
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