Check to see if my kidney is still there.

jack off and then cry

You feel your abdomen to check if your kidneys are still there, but alas, you do not have kidneys. You started crying and jacking off in self loathing, but upon discovering that you do not possess genitals either, you cried even harder.

Try to contact ETs via meditation

Regaining your hold on life, you meditated, and sent your intention and goodwill through the cosmos. After an undetermined amount of time (which felt like 10 years but was probably ten minutes), a wild space princess descended upon you!

sage

>>30025
succ on tite

>>30025
Should've went with either some dangerous Xenomorph-like creature or some stupid, useless, and probably slightly retarded comic relief alien that won't spout shitty puns.

>>30015
I go outside.

The sun burns........