Speaking as a 29 year old hiki, I get a little bit angry when I hear 19-22 year olds making posts like "Oh I'm so old, I've been a hiki for 2 years, my life is over!". 19-22 is still young, being a hiki for 2 years is nothing. I've been one for 10 years! It's still OK to never have had a job at that age, especially in the current economic downturn.
I always had a distorted sense of my own age anyway, due to looking young for my age. But I think it was at the age 27-28 when I first started feeling old. I think that is the transitory age. Now that I'm 29, I think I've kind of given up on life. Now I just feel a kind of folorn emptyness. You can't feel so much anxiety when you've stopped caring. The other older posters on here have also mentioned it, so when OP asks where he will be in 10 years time, the answer will be that he won't care so much anymore when he's 30.
One of the reasons why I don't leave the house is because I'm so scared of seeing someone from school and they ask me what I've done since leaving school. I'm so ashamed of my life. I've been so stupid. It's like I locked myself in a prison of shame.
With regard to suicide, I think that if you go past the age of 24 without doing suicide, then you probably never will.
>what else can you really use money for?
I would use it on therapy. If I won huge amounts of money, I'd probably donate it to medical research or something.
>The numbers 20, 25, and 30 are terrifying age marks to me
25 was nothing, it passed without comment. For me, 28 really felt like the big turning point. At the age of 26 for example, 23 was just 3 years ago, and 3 years is nothing and 23 is still young. So I could still fool myself that I was still young and still had lots of time. But at 28, you are starting to be 10 years older than the 18 year olds, and your clothes you wear are now a decade out of fashion and the world has all moved on. You play on a Playstation 2, but everyone else is now on a Playstation 3. Websites stop working because their new designs are too much for your 10 year old computer. And you can't get a new computer, because to do so would be to admit to the passing of time. You increasingly feel that you are no longer part of this world. You can never re-join the normal people now. You are too cut off and you don't even want to.