>>12254
I'm 20 and I still feel like that. I was going for a walk today and some people that knew me saw me across the street. They were around my age, probably the same for that matter. I didn't have much to say but hi, I also noticed how much more grown they were. I felt so small and childlike even compared to the girl with them. My body and mind seems to be frozen in time besides some annoying body hair and slightly larger chest and belly. Probably a combination of a lot of things stopping my growth both physically and mentally. I haven't changed the way I live from week to week in over 4 years now and those years feel like just yesterday. I'm so distant from the rest of the world that being anywhere outside my house doing anything is a surreal experience to me. I also have so many episodes of deja vu a week that I really do wonder if I lived this life before somehow. Everything feels dream like and staged, like I'm in a movie or something. I feel like a ghost.

I've been feeling that I've ran out of time for a long time now and I'm only 20 and in education too. But that feels void and pointless. I'm still walking towards an end while losing touch with the rest of the world, sometimes on purpose, others not. Life is not just about achievements; it's also about experience. Even if I were to one day decide to start trying harder I still wouldn't know how to propely interact with people around me, and mind you, I've had several aquaintances in the past. But that means nothing: human relationships become more and more complex and demanding as you age. I'm losing my only friend because I don't understand how reality works. I never learnt and I probably will never be able to. I have no idea what tomorrow will be like for me OP and it scares me.

>>12296
I think you and I share some axiology...

>>/mt/1624

so ronery chan

>>12303

Glad to see that there is a soul that has same view as me.Though not exactly the same, both of us know that what we seek is impossible.In the end all of this is in vain. Even this post. I will certainly die. Just like everyone else. Thus this life has no meaning.

>>12300
You are 20 and in education. You still have the legitimacy of youth and the legitimacy of being part of society in education. You even get to see girls everyday in your place of education. Even if you don't talk to them, you get to be near them and look at them and feel the same age as them. Wait until you have those things taken away from you. Then you really will be in trouble.

But as you are, all you have to do is get a job when you leave education and then you will have made it. This is what I failed to do. If only I had got a job when I left education, then I could have avoided the shame of being an illegitimate 30 year old who's never had a job in his life.

My mistake was "job perfectionism". I never applied for any jobs because I was waiting for the perfect job. I didn't even know what the perfect job would be, only that I had to wait for it. I waited and waited until I eventually became stuck in the hiki trap.

So my advice to you as a 20 year old is that you should get a job on leaving education. Don't even wait for the perfect job, the important thing is to avoid falling into the hiki trap. If only I hadn't fallen into the hiki trap, my life would be so different. I would have legitimacy and maybe even hope.

The only former classmate whose current status I'm aware of is the guy who's been my best only friend since basically kindergarten. And in many ways he's an even bigger otaku/beta/NEET than I am, so there's that.

I turned 25 last month. Never imagined I'd make it this far.

I don't think so. Of course I'm still young, so who knows what I'll feel like when I'm 30, but anyway.

I have two friends, doing, obviously, much better than I am. They always did. Even this former friend of mine, who is a massive pushover and nerd, thousand times more than me, is more succesful than I am. But I don't really care. I never cared about jobs and 3DPDs and prestigious universities and whatever. I never wanted to live this kind of life. I tried to, but I couldn't handle it.

I'll probably keep trying, and failing, continuosly, because I'm a fool who doesn't know better, and because everyone around wants me to do so, and who am I to go against their wishes. I'd rather stay at home and watch anime, it's not my ideal life but beats going to a job and meeting jackasses everyday.

In the end, I don't think much about it, my future, there is not much reason to.

I'm only 19, so I'm lucky. If I play my cards right I should be eligible for Government Housing and more mental illness fun bucks. I'll be earning enough to finally get away from everyone I know and spend my time tinkering with computers and watching anime.

>>12317
>But as you are, all you have to do is get a job when you leave education and then you will have made it.
No, he needs to get a job/internship/undergrad research NOW.

I didn't and as a result I was absolutely useless compared to my classmates.

>>12324
I am kind of envious of you. My friends are either really nice with jobs in a professional industry with no interest in otaku hobbies or are otaku NEETs with superiority complexes that makes interactions with them sometimes unpleasant. I wish I just had an otaku friend that I got along with perfectly.

>>12545
I'll be your friend anon-kun!

>>12544
Internship? Undergrad?

That's setting sights and ambitions too high. My advice was for avoiding the hiki trap. ie Not suffering from job perfectionism and taking almost ANY job in order to avoid falling into the hiki trap.

There are people like that from my highschool. There are others though that are still working at fast food places, or not going to school at all.
I don't really think about my future too much anymore, everything beyond next month is pretty cloudy.
I turned 23 a few days ago, by the way. Yes, 22 might seem worrying, but you're still young.
Oh, and... stop being embarrassed by your hobbies. It doesn't matter.

I went out to eat at a restaurant and the waitress recognized me from middle school. When she asked me what school I went to I feigned ignorance until she got my full name. It was absolutely horrifying. I wish I could move to a new country. I hope in 10 years people will forget about me.

>>13180
Meant tosage this, awfully sorry.

>>13180
Oh Haruhi, I know that feeling. When I go to Wal-Mart to buy food and stuff, I see some guy who claims to have gone to the same middle school or high school as me and my brother. He was friends with my brother and not me so I didn't know or care about the guy, but he likes to say hi. The first time I met him at Wal-Mart he asked me if I knew him and, as assholish and rude was it was, I said no because I'm not really much of a liar. It was awkward and weird seeing some guy who knew my brother approach me like that.

I don't care for the years I had spent in school (I'm not sure if it helps or not that I ended up dropping out of high school). They were a waste and all of the people I had known were equally a waste of time. Not because I'm better than them or anything like that but because I wasn't ever going to do anything with them outside of school and probably a huge majority of the time in school as well.

>>13181
Don't sweat it.

>>13183
I know that feeling all too well also. I've been going to the exact same places in my area going all the way back to around middle school. Unless the employees are new everyone recognizes me. I hate being recognized the most in restaurants I frequent, especially since I'm always with my father and it's very embarrassing that I can't go anywhere not within walking distance on my own. Then comes the people that see me all the time when I'm taking a walk nearly every day when the temperatures are warm enough. I go at the same general times constantly and through the same areas so some people I run into every day and it's very awkward. I don't have a problem interacting with people but I'm afraid that they would just start treating me like shit whenever they see me because they know I'm never changing, I feel like I'm annoying the people I see a lot and my money isn't even worth their service.

>>13183

I WORK at Walmart.
can you imagine how terrible it is when somebody recognizes me. Fucking terrible. Like a zoo for failures. hate my job. hate my life.

>>9881
>With regard to suicide, I think that if you go past the age of 24 without doing suicide, then you probably never will.

most suicides are done by elderly single/lonely males I think. I don't blame them for that, hey they had a fun life and now it only gets worse and worse. Better than a home.

note: i have an 81 year old grandmother and she is semi-seriously thinking of going to a nursing home as opposed to staying with my mother OR going to hang with an uncle of mine.... :/

And if your life was shit.....I hope you get reincarnated as someone better

>>9881
>I always had a distorted sense of my own age anyway, due to looking young for my age.

yeah. I am 22 but can pass as being 16-18 depending on my dress.

>But at 28, you are starting to be 10 years older than the 18 year olds, and your clothes you wear are now a decade out of fashion and the world has all moved on. You play on a Playstation 2, but everyone else is now on a Playstation 3. Websites stop working because their new designs are too much for your 10 year old computer. And you can't get a new computer, because to do so would be to admit to the passing of time. You increasingly feel that you are no longer part of this world. You can never re-join the normal people now. You are too cut off and you don't even want to.

I have had three computers in the past four years & a bunch of my clothing are sweaters, dress clothes (have two suits) or something like that which does not age as badly.

>>9886
I am 22...and wish I was 19 again. Actually I'd like being between 16 and 18. Legal protections and all that. And you don't get called a 'pedo' for hanging out with younger girls (that only happens when they realize I am 22 and not 16/18 or whatever they think i am - and mainly in a joking manner).

And hell, it's more 'cool' to drink alcohol cause it's *illegal*. As you get to do stupid shit like drinking alcohol in a cornfield and you get better contacts with weed (lol, not really) and all of that sort of thing.

>>12317
some of us dont have the lock of job offerings given to us haha. ive been to many shitty job fairs

>>13249
I really wish I could just stay at 16 forever, maybe 17. Those were just the most comfortable ages for me. I feel just as free as I did then if not more free but in body I don't want to change. I also got drunk so many times. I just can't get into alcohol though, horrible. It's like the opposite of what you want a drug to do to you. I wish I had some weed I can bake into some food or other drugs but I never had any connections.

>>13275

Last night while bored I wandered through old internet haunts and ended up finding some forum posts I made in 2008 when I was 16. 5 years ago now, but I remember every post almost word for word. They're so depressive; "misery" this and "worthless" that. I can still remember the shower I had in my house that morning, where I stood and contemplated suicide for ages then went online and made those desperate posts. 16yo me seems so miserable.

Yet now, having learned more about this world, I'd give anything to go back. Those were special, carefree days. Why didn't I appreciate them? Having them still there, too, public and online for all to see, is strange.

Maybe in another 10 years all us 20-30 year olds (give or take) will feel the same about now. The past is romantic, I have nothing but nostalgia and fondness for those days, but if they were really so great then why was I apparently just as unhappy then as I am now?

>>13276

Contradicted myself. Oh well.

>>13275
and as I mentioned earlier there are legal protections - i.e. being tried as a child & getting lee-way to do stupid shit. I never had that chance because of my damn overprotective mother.

>>13278
though to be fair i was much more shy then, so eh....

>>13276
I think I see where you're coming from. You want to go back even though you were really depressed back then, right? Same here. Recently, I was looking at some of my old diary entries from my high school days and they were very depressive.

But I would love to go back to those days, and I'm not quite sure why. I guess it's because of all the missed opportunities, unfulfilled wishes, and other such things. Or maybe it's just the lack of responsibilities.

If you are a living being destined to die some day, then you're also destined to have frustration as your ultimate end.

These feelings that you feel, the bitterness, the hatred, the memories of humiliation, the unfulfillment of dreams, the pointlessness of life, the inability to go further, this is what life consists of ultimately.

Those "normals" with seemingly "sweet" lives? I assure you they feel just as much frustration as you do. Just imagine the amount of it that they had to get past before attaining those positions. And even after they do, they still feel frustrated, as when one manages to obtain all the commodities in life the only thing left to experience is the stream of unending sadness and depression from ridiculously small things. Pretty much what most of you feel right now, perhaps in a larger scale.

>>13284
This is such a materialistic philosophy. It's frustrating to me that I don't get to enjoy the company of others as much as many people do, because being around people is so draining for me. My introversion causes me to become more isolated, and thus, more anxious, etc. For many people who have striven to achieve success, their efforts are often just a means to fulfill their social desires, not their desires for the superficial arrival at 'success' or the acquisition of wealth only for the sake of having wealth.

For most people, I'd say, emotional stability is just as attainable as financial security. The majority of the population isn't doomed to a life of sadness, you're just caught up in your own just-world fallacy.

>>13285

Only recently I'm truly feeling how much of a curse introversion is. We are apparently something like 25% (or lower) of the population.
It's not about wanting to socialise, for me, cause I really don't anyway. It's the knowledge that even if I wanted to I never could. You could throw all the opportunities in front of me and my backwards nature will just never know what to do with them. What could that be if not a curse.

>>13284
This is such dick water.

Sure normals suffer, but what about the ones who can't work with them because the normals cause them to suffer even more than them? Intentional or not, introverts suffer more than normals when it comes to normal things.

>>13293
>introverts suffer more than normals when it comes to normal things.
This is very true.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar1kEN_ZPNM

> normals suffer
Yeah, like filthy rich chick suffers unable to decide what to wear from hundreds of dresses she have. Sure thing, everyone suffers, but suffering is not the same for everyone.

>>13326
You're arguing that because people with jobs and social lives work, go outside and talk to people, it's unreasonable to say they can possibly suffer like lazy people, who don't work, go outside and often prefer to not socialize?

Too old to enjoy what I enjoy?
What?
If you feel unfulfilled with your life because the normals finally got to you then change it, its not that difficult really.
Im 27 and never had a job but Im lucky my parents have money so Ill probably never work, if I was poor though I would have gotten a job for the money and then pursue the same hobbies I spend my time in now, so nothing major would have changed, Im still finding new hobbies and art pieces to experience and talk about which is what life is about for me, Im also learning to draw and it does feels pretty awesome.

I am 18. I haven't done anything with my life other than graduating from High School. I don't really know where to begin. Most people my age seem to have had jobs and serious relationships since they were 16. I feel left behind and I'm afraid it's too late to ever be successful because they've had such a head start and I'm so clueless.

>>13713
Sort of depressing to hear that from someone as young as you are.

>>13713

Hey, it's me from 5 years ago. Things don't get better

>>13713
you can't be serious. you're barely 18, most places wont even give you a job before you're 18. what kinda of 'serious relationships' do you expect from 16 and 17 year olds? do you really think a bunch of horny jocks and sluts who just hit puberty know shit about relationships? shut up and enjoy your life and don't worry about that that crap until you hit 30. very few women bellow the age of 30 are interested in serious relationships, the younger they are the more they want to party and sleep around. you're not missing out on anything.

>>13715
Hey, that reminds me...
My high school had their 5 year reunion party last month.
I didn't go.

>>13727
I won't be going to mine either, assuming enough of my former classmates aren't in jail to organize one in the first place

>>13716
>what kinda of 'serious relationships' do you expect from 16 and 17 year olds?

I know someone who got pregnant in HS & stil is with the dude who knocked her up. In many parts of the world, even in parts of the US if you aren't married by 20 you're considered 'weird'.

>do you really think a bunch of horny jocks and sluts who just hit puberty know shit about relationships?

Not all 16 year olds are like that

>very few women bellow the age of 30 are interested in serious relationships, the younger they are the more they want to party and sleep around. you're not missing out on anything.

Uh. Sure it's not the dudes who want that?

I am 22.

>>13733
most teens can't handle the pressure of raising a child and produce dumpster babies, I've known one first hand who's boyfriend ran out when she got knocked up. Dudes women it's all the same shit. What a coworker told me was; sooner or latter they're gonna sleep around, better to let them get it out of their system before shacking up with them.
Also, those parts of the US can go fuck themselves for all I care. If it's 'weird' not to get pregnant at 16 and married at 19 or less, I don't want to be normal.

>>13736
AFAIK if you're Utah Mormon the marriage age was historically low.

EDIT: looking that up apparently it's pretty high. 24 for a guy. That mission bullshit is part of the reason, but I think that is relatively new & it was lower (i.e. mormon missionaries taking all the beautiful women as wives during the recruitment in 1800s)

I think it was historically white southerners, especially Appalachian peoples who got married when really young.

My point is in societies which in general provide support towards people who are married while young do provide stability towards marriages like that.

>>13733
You can't use one example that you (allegedly) witnessed and apply it to the entire population. That's just stupid. It's a simple biological fact that the human brain is still very immature (particularly emotionally) in teenage years, whether you like it or not. Emotional stability comes in during the 20s for most people.

By the way: it's 2013, not the 1800s. Women enjoy sleeping around just as much as their male counterparts.

>>13744
In my experience our society doesn't support -18 marriage, even if it is common. For one thing, in some states it's illegal for people under the age of 18 to have sex, even if they're both underage. and as I said before, many places wont hire anyone bellow the age of 18. in my experience, many teen parents have become disowned by their family, forcing them to drop out of school as they suddenly have to take care of themselves and look after their kid or work to support themselves in a field where no one wants to give them a job before they're 18.
maybe 16 is the magic number where you live, but around here life doesn't start until you're 18.

The underline problem with kids having kids and getting married isn't just a moral issue or one of social conformity, it's that they're not mature enough to handle the responsibility of raising a family when they're barely past the age of playing house. and yeah, being older doesn't necessarily make a person more mature, which we can see plenty of these days with horrible parents who shouldn't be parents but get thrust into it because they jump the gun and got knocked up in their teens and didn't bother to think about weather or not they were really ready to raise a child.
A little more than a month ago some guy we don't know was literally crying while begging us to sell him a old car so he could live in it with his kids after his wife ran off, one of the things he said as he gave us his life story was that he's still a kid and didn't know what to do. society wasn't doing him any favors.
In my opinion families, and even serious relationships are not something you should blindly jump into as soon as you can. all you're likely to do is hurt people when you realize you aren't ready for that commitment and you don't know the person as well as you thought, why do you think half the people in this country who get married end up divorced?
You have your whole life ahead of you, why ruin it right away by getting married?

Post edited on 29th Mar 2013, 12:26pm

>>13746
And we call them whores/used goods

>>9517
That's pretty soul crushing.

I feel infinite boredom and yet hate the Ford Driver life so much that I couldn't go to it. You would think I would have struggled to get something by now, but it's just meh. I guess I had to get that out, but didn't have a place to do so. Thanks /so/...you're the best.