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9475 No. 9475 [Edit]
I'm sick of normals obnoxiously butting in and shoving their 'wisdom' in our faces whenever there's a sadness thread on the other chans.

Let's have a thread where we can just talk about our depression without some Dr. Phil enthusiast coming along and dispensing advice like 'go outside' or 'just be confident'.
Expand all images
>> No. 9476 [Edit]
Pretty much the entirety of /so/ is a place to talk about this.

Anyway, as always, life sucks and I wish that I were dead/never existed.
>> No. 9477 [Edit]
Here it's like depressed people trying to help other depressed people or whatever else brings you to the failed human beings board. I like this place's company. It at least gives me a feeling of not being alone here. My depression stems from just being the stupidest human on the planet. I don't think you get much more fail from a single person unless the were completely mentally retarded. I can't live on my own, I can't go to school because I know I'm too stupid and would fail almost instantly, I can't drive because whenever someone does try to train me almost every week I almost end up killing both of us on the smallest roads, I can't get a job since even fast food places reject me upon first sight, I can't form a friendship with anyone never mind a strong one, and I hate myself down to the way I look. There's just nowhere left for me to go in my life but wherever it takes me itself.
>> No. 9479 [Edit]
I just thought I'd make a thread specifically for it. What sucks about your life?

I can relate to how you feel. I feel as though I'm the least intelligent fully-functional human being I've ever met; I simply lack any degree of reasonable or logical thought process and this makes me a bumbling, fumbling idiot.

I got my job through my verbosity and nothing more. If one had to describe me in a single word, 'incompetent' would be perfect.
>> No. 9482 [Edit]
Depression sucks. Anime and video games distract me from being depressed. I hate being around normalcools because they don't understand why I would be depressed. They consider me playing video games and watching anime to be "immature." Like reading romance novels and watching sports is so fucking mature?
>> No. 9484 [Edit]
This is exactly why I play video games so much. It doesn't cure depression, but at least it temporarily takes my mind off how bleak and downright terrible reality is.

And sure, the very few Ford Drivers that I have the displeasure of talking with about it usually don't like it...but to be fair, I look at them with nothing but contempt too.
>> No. 9488 [Edit]
On a positive note, Beat Takeshi is awesome.
>> No. 9489 [Edit]
I mostly play games now to pass time by faster. I haven't played anything with an actual story in single player in so long. There isn't much I can do to take my mind off my life besides in small bursts. While I'm playing, no matter what it is my mind always seems to drift off to it after a while or I just enter some kind of day dream state where I'll have many "wanting what you can never have in life" moments which brings me directly into another depression loop.
>> No. 9491 [Edit]
It's very tempting for those who know not sadness to blame their peers in peril for their own hardships. To them it's like everyone else is at fault for not doing as well as him- or herself. If it's any comfort, know that those ignorant of pain will suffer a multitude more for what hardships they might ever get, and at that point they've dug their grave too deep - with no protection/ladder to ever get out, and no friends to offer that kind of sympathy. Obviously it won't matter for the underdogs of society.

When it comes to death or partings in general, there's a quote I've found comfort in: "I would go anywhere if you're there. But we have to leave (...) on a positive note if we are leaving. Otherwise, this place won't become a place to come/look back to."

For me, empathy is the greatest virtue, and I base all positive human traits on it. It's good if people in similar situations acknowledge eachother's hardships with respect. It's a miracle if people of different origin, with different lives, and alltogether live in different contexts, still acknolwdge eachother's hardships with respect even if it's alien to them.

When I was at my worst in my depression, I denied my peers' empathy with all my stregth. I was lucky to have any at all, and instead of taking comfort in it I denied it. I hate myself for that to this day, and I punish myself whenever I cathc myself acting as a cynical. Even how painful it was, I don't want to forget, I don't want it to happen again.
>> No. 9551 [Edit]
I just want to be loved back. ;_; Why do I have to torture myself like this? I'm usually so Haruhidamn composed. But now my emotions are out of line. I can't put my mind at ease, I can't stop hoping, I can't stop fearing, I can't stop suffering. I can't write because my mind keeps jumping around. I hate it.

Post edited on 10th Apr 2012, 1:56pm
>> No. 9576 [Edit]
I'm running out of time. There's no way I can make up 4-6 years of material that I was supposed to learn in school. I don't want to live if I can't devote my life to Science.
>> No. 9577 [Edit]
Go back to school.
>> No. 9587 [Edit]
Can't get a job.
Parents pissed.
24 years old.
>> No. 9590 [Edit]
I can't stand people. My room is something of a shrine to me, a place of refuge. The only place where I can be comfortable with peace of mind. but it's not what keeps me from going out, that's due to people. People are fucking everywhere, and I can't stand being around the, but I can't financially support myself yet.
>> No. 9630 [Edit]
I can't take this shit for much longer, my mom is a complete fucking retard, it's infuriating to live with her. but I can't support myself. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Today on a whim she decided we would drive to the bordering country, I got pissed and yelled at her, told her to tell me this shit ahead of time, and by the time I got my shit ready, they decided not to after all and left. I'm having a hard time fighting off the urge to just kill them all in their sleep already, or mix in a large dose of my meds into their food, just to see them suffer from it's side effects like I had to.

Post edited on 17th Apr 2012, 1:08pm
>> No. 9631 [Edit]
I can't stop fantasizing about killing myself. When nothing else is on my mind it wanders towards the thought of going into the living room, loading my father's gun, and shooting myself. It would be so easy and it would finally be over
>> No. 9632 [Edit]
Same here, I'm too stupid to support myself but my mother is fucking retarded. I can write an entire book on everything she does that pisses me off. I have to suppress very violent urges too, especially when I start having flash backs of her when I was a little younger of her beating the shit out of me for stupid reasons and I would just sit there and take it like a bitch when I could have easily fought back. Add that on top of how angry with myself I am already and sometimes they get beyond strong, like fighting myself to stop myself from doing something so destructive I would be in even deeper shit. I constantly in my head have visions of how much wide spread destruction I can cause if I just stopped caring about everything altogether and just dropped all fear. I can't stop myself from being this way, when I look at the roots of who I am today I see in the beginning I was fueled by hate and it appears deep down I still am and always will be.
>> No. 9635 [Edit]

>told her to tell me this shit ahead of time

Fucking hell, why can't people understand that introverts fucking hate surprises. It's the same with my family and with my mom in patricular. She either makes spontaneous decision or makes them way ahead just to inform me at the last second. It drives me crazy.

You keep telling them to tell you all sorts of thing in advance, you do that for 20 years, and they still refuse to listen. At times I think it's more sad than frustrating.
>> No. 9700 [Edit]
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I hate my life. I hate my body, my face, my memories, my background, my education, my work: it's all despicable; I can't recognize my will on any of that. But my current situation isn't any better: I can't feel anything as mine, nor my voice now speaking. It's all so far away, everything in here; I'm totally detached from whatever I'm allegedly been. Right now I'm just watching an anime series, an old one, a -supposedly- good one, to forget about my surroundings for a while; but, most importantly, to try to remember why the hell did I got involved with this thing at all...

What was that in here that I thought to be of so much value, to give up everything for it? What difference does it have with any other stupid longing/obsession I've had for some other stupid thing before (and wich I, as well, have devoted my life to)? Why, despite all my efforts, it is always me who ends up being the stupid one, the one who hadn't got a clue, the one in the fucking wrong?...

What made me possibly believe, once again, that I myself could become part of some -so called- beauty I had found?

I so wanted to kill myself, a while ago. Not out of sadness, not out of misery, but out of pure rage. But I don't; I just keep on going, over my own footprints, pointlessly. I'm just the n-th fucking slave of a world and life that I'll never fucking understand.

Post edited on 22nd Apr 2012, 3:45am
>> No. 9709 [Edit]
I want to kill myself out of pure hate, anger, and frustration too. Every time I walk out of the house it's almost as if everything is just mocking me. I see people with normally functioning brains smiling and being happy with life while my life is cursed. I just get more and more fucked up every year and every year the laughing from my surroundings gets louder. With my mind constantly exposing me to what it desires, it's like waving candy in a kids face, taunting them, and then pulling it away at the last second and eating it with a stupid grin. So I just keep getting more and more angry. Now I really know what the phrase "drowning in hate" means. I'm also doomed to walk over where I have a million times before till something kills me.
>> No. 9816 [Edit]
Just turned 20. Not even a high school diploma. Unable to hold a job because working with people is too stressful. My first and only job ended in me quitting 3 days later out of stress (I was a bag boy but my manager told me while I bagged food I had to make small talk and smile to the customers and I couldn't control the level of my voice, one lady flew off the handle at me and went on a several minute tirade at me).
>> No. 9817 [Edit]
A high school diploma doesn't matter much anyways if your probably not getting any further than a grocery store or something. I have one and no places will accept me guess it kinda shows how stupid I am through just my hand writing. So a lady started going off at you because you couldn't control your voice or whatever else made her go off that was probably very stupid? These are the exact kind of people which make me hate going anywhere these days. Very short tempered, obnoxious people that are like walking time bombs just waiting for the perfect time to ruin someones day. They are everywhere and will do just about anything to start a fight with anyone.
>> No. 9818 [Edit]
>I just keep on going, over my own footprints, pointlessly
>I'm also doomed to walk over where I have a million times before

I feel you anon, I feel you. I fuck up the same things I fucked up when I was 14. I make the same mistakes over and over and over again and no matter how much I tell myself that it's going to change and it'll be different next time, it never is. I'm only nineteen and I'm sure people will say I have plenty of time ahead of me, but I have been this way for my entire life. I feel like I have some form of learning disability, not so much academia-wise but rather a disorder in learning basic life skills.

Fuck this gay earth.
>> No. 9824 [Edit]
I don't expect to live much longer anyways, even if I don't kill myself I bet I'll be killed by some horrible disease or something. Maybe even my more upset parents that hate me for what I am. I will never change, I'll be this way forever. I just try to get all of what little I can out of life and enjoy what I got now. I have a life disability, I lack the ability to live correctly. I always was this brain damaged, I knew it ever since I entered preschool. I always felt like something was wrong my entire life, there was something very off about the way I was and it looks like that undergrowth of mental disease that's been growing under the surface is really showing its true face now.
>> No. 9990 [Edit]
I can't stress how sick of this life I am.
Having to live with people is driving me nuts, mainly becuase these people are fucking obnoxious retards, who are to dense to realize they're the reason I don't leave my room. but of course, I'M the one with the problems in their eyes. Haruhi I wish they'd shut the fuck up, their voices make me want to stab my ears out. My mother is especially a fucking retard, she can't fucking read, but loves to make fun of me to her friends for having a dirty brain (yes she has said that), commonly repeating something I've said to her friends so they can poke fun at me, and whenever she says something stupid and I try to correct her, she just laughs at me and asks if I'm taking my pills or something. even if I go mute and don't say anything to her she'll just make shit up!! and still make fun of me for it!! she's driving me completely insane!

I was kind of hoping when I finally got to see a psychologist, that I'd be able to talk about this stuff a bit, but my mom butted in, and now whenever we see him, he treats me like a retard (just like all my mom's friends) while caring little for what I have to say and leaving it all to her. half the things she says are fucking lies, wouldn't bother me if it wasn't me they're talking about with a dude who's supposed to help me.
She exaggerates everything, doesn't answer simple yes or no questions properly and contradicts the few things I do say.
Who am I kidding, this guy only seems to want to shove mountains of pills in my face, he don't care, no one cares.
My mom might care, but she's like that retarded kid that can't play with toys right and brakes them or eats them.
I don't know how much more of this shit I can take.

I've been thinking a lot of trying to save up a few bucks, hopefully from SSI and getting me some cheap acreage out in texas, where I hear land is cheap, and building myself a home there where I can grow my own food (mom's feeding me nothing but fast food and frozen dinner shit) use solar power for all my stuff and basically try and be self sufficient, maybe even start a little TH type of community for others who might want to try the same.
It's something nice to dream about.
potentially false hope is probably the only thing keeping me from shooting myself anymore.

Post edited on 4th May 2012, 2:00am
>> No. 9996 [Edit]
My mother is the same way, except she hasn't even sent me to a psychologist yet which is pretty surprising. She loves to talk about me to all of her friends and laugh at everything I say. It's not just my mother that's like that but my whole family. Everything I say is just mocked by everyone, no one ever takes any of my problems seriously. This is nothing new at all, even happened when I was a kid. They all probably just think I'm so mentally retarded that I have no clue what I'm saying or what I really want. I'm the family clown really. They all like to twist my words into just what they want to hear and when they can't do that they just deny everything they don't like to know about me. There's just no way for me to escape this, I'll just be laughed at by everyone forever.
>> No. 9998 [Edit]
Whenever I wake up it takes me 30 minutes to get out of bed because I can't stop thinking that maybe, if I can fall back asleep, I won't wake up this time
>> No. 9999 [Edit]
I find myself waking up as early as 6 AM now and I don't know why. I hate when I do and then when I wake up I can't fall back asleep. It's like a part of me is desperately wanting to turn time back to when I was in high school because I'm in such a "out of the frying pan and onto the burner" type of situation as I get older.
>> No. 10004 [Edit]
I'm 16 I've been depressed since I was about 11 due to my mother being an alcoholic and then later dying when I was 14. Along with my father having brain-damage (from being run over by a car). On top of this, my sister who happens to be a similar age is an insufferable cunt, constantly mocking me and making me out to be retarded.

I've gone to a psychologist for the past 6 months, they gave me Prozac and I took it everyday for 2 months, it didn't do anything, it had no effect at all. Talking to the psychologist hasn't helped in any way.

I stopped going to school completely this year. But since my mother died I barely went to school anyway. Naturally, I also have social anxiety.

I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do.

Post edited on 4th May 2012, 9:13pm
>> No. 10006 [Edit]
You shouldnt be here. This website is not going to help one bit, in fact it'll probably make it worse.
>> No. 10007 [Edit]
I'm not that guy, but I find this website to be one of the kinder places on the internet. Then again, I came a while ago from /r9k/. Jesus, that fucking place. Never again.
>> No. 10016 [Edit]
>>10004 here

I agree with >>10007
>> No. 10017 [Edit]
I think what he meant was that this place is not going to help you change into a productive person, and that this place only makes you more unproductive. I mean how the hell are depressed people suppose to cheer up other depressed people. I think this place is good for those who have given up, and don't want to feel as lonely. If you have already gave up; then this place is great since you wont feel as much as a loser. This website allows us to communicate with other people in our shoes, who listen instead of telling us what we have to do in order to become a normal. However if you came to this site expecting to cure your depression and some what restore your life, then no this site won't help one bit. I personally love this website, because it is a site for outcasts moderated by outcasts. There are no normals here who try to turn you like them. The people here don't mock you, and actually listen, because many of them have similar experiences.
>> No. 10045 [Edit]
It's important to ask yourself whether you want help. If you do want help then it's crucial that you communicate and cooperate. I am referring to your sessions with the psychologist. Did you tell them that the given medicine didn't work? Ask for alternatives and have them include you in deciding what to try and how it might work out. Get to know your mental disorder and ask for techniques to battle the difficulities that the given disorder will impose, if you haven't already. If you've already tried and done your best to work out your problems in cooperation with your psychologist and still feel stagnant, ask for a new therapist or a second opinion on your diagnosis. If you feel that your therapist looks down on you, or do not care about your wellbeing, you have very good reason to be disappointed in your appointed therapist, and have all the reason to object on the quality your treatment and the competance of your therapist. There's mainly two things to remember when going to a psychologist/psychiatrist: 1) they can't cure you, and 2) it's their duty to help you help yourself, and on the way offer any assistance that's plausible, most commonly in the from of a diagnosis, information of the given diagnosis, information on alternative diagnosises, medicine, information on possible outcomes of any given medicine and how they should and shouldn't work, techniques to help yourself in various situations, especially situations that you find extra difficult, and offers of various group activities to go with or as an alternative to the treatment. These should all be common prospects of going to a medical center for mental health. I hope you will say if I made some wrong assumtions. There's not much I can help with, but I do know a thing or two about the circumstances of treating mental disorders. It's just something I find interesting.

It's easier to help others than it is to help oneself.

>expecting to cure your depression
No one does that. People who grow up without anyone's help will never expect to get any until they're proven wrong. A good reason to share your story and condition anonymously is that it seldom hurts, and you prove to yourself that you haven't given up. Understand that those who have truly given up on life do not interact. Posting on an imageboard is interaction, there's no disputing it.
>> No. 10047 [Edit]
File 133643228848.jpg - (89.76KB , 652x840 , jacket.jpg )

All I can say by now is: figuring out the soul (ψυχή) it's a though bussines, isn't it? Sometimes I wonder if, troughout the centuries, we've really made some progress on the matter... at all.
>> No. 10048 [Edit]
>It's important to ask yourself whether you want help

Yes, I do want help.

>Did you tell them that the given medicine didn't work?

Yes I did, that's why I don't take it any more.

>If you feel that your therapist looks down on you, or do not care about your

She definitely does care, for the first few months I had a different woman though, they both seemed to care equally. I'll admit though, the only thing that kept me going back originally was because my first psychologist was attractive.

>ask for a new therapist or a second opinion on your diagnosis.

My grandmother (who I live with) suggested going to the best mental hospital here for depressed teenagers. She made an appointment, but it more than likely won't happen for a few months.

>Ask for alternatives and have them include you in deciding what to try and how it might work out. Get to know your mental disorder and ask for techniques to battle the difficulties

I'll do this the next time I see her, at the moment her receptionist and other co-workers are all on maternity leave/holidays etc so it's been difficult to get an appointment. I haven't spoken to her in 3 weeks.
>> No. 10049 [Edit]
To clarify, I would be going to the hospital for "evaluation".
>> No. 10054 [Edit]
It's not that I had an extremely difficult life or a traumatic childhood. Sometimes I wonder if I have a genetic disposition that makes me awfully depressed. If there was a drug that made you happy, I would take it without a moment of hesitation. I tried for over 3 years now to just brush off this feeling and move on with my responsibilities, but I simply couldn't. It feels like I'm living my life just to run away from what I will have to do with constant planning that never works out.

I dislike happy faces that are around me, and I love watching other people's misery. Sometimes I go around the internet just to find someone I can easily say I am better to make myself feel superior. I have a bitter view of the world that I did not choose to have. Sometimes I almost force people I know to tell me that everything is going to be ok. It's hard to explain, but it seems like all my reasons for not doing something is "I just can't."

I always expect sympathy that I don't deserve. I constantly force myself to cry hoping that it might make me feel better. I know my future is heading towards a "bad end", and I really wish someone could beat me up until I am forced to change my ways. It scares me that a grim future awaits for me who is having a shitty time already. I ask myself "what do I do?" about every 5 minutes.

I'm aware that I'm a spoiled piece of shit. And it feels like everyone has the right to tell me that I'm a pathetic whiny little faggot. I had nice friends and a positive view of the world. I had great hopes for my future and I can't help but torture myself with the question "What the fuck happened?"

It's been about 3 years, but I'm afraid that the therapist would ridicule me because I never had any bad experiences with my life that would condition me to feel this kind of depression. Have I been pretending to be depressed for the last 3 years? I'm not even sure anymore. But I still wish to get some treatment. What kind of therapy won't make me feel humiliated for being a whiny cunt?
>> No. 10055 [Edit]
You shouldn't blame yourself for your depression. A person doesn't ask to get depression any more than a person asks to get cancer.

If thers anything reading Oyasumi Punpun has taught me, its that doing work really does solve a lot of the problems in life. It sounds like just some dumb platitude, but to me I feel it holds a great deal of truth. Just take things slowly, one at a time, work at your own pace. It is foolish to compare yourself to people with much greater talent than your own who have been practising for many years, then beat yourself up when you don't measure up.

Failing that, just wait. You'll outgrow depression eventually, given you don't die before then. Depression can last decades, but its unrealistic for it to last that long. I don't think we are on the worst part of the spectrum when it comes to depression.

Anyway thats just what I found out during my time in depression. I didn't want to seem like some jerk spouting Hollywood level motivation speeches, its just what worked for me, and it might work for you too.

Post edited on 8th May 2012, 4:33am
>> No. 10058 [Edit]
This sounds very good. I can tell that you're one who always perserveres no matter what, often called a dandelion child. It's sad and difficult, but you're strong, so it will work out.

>I would be going to the hospital for "evaluation".
If you do decide on this it will be important to gather all the material from your previous sessions, so to not start all over. Journals are of great importanse to a therapist, and will speed things up nicely. It seems that you have a good thing going at your current medical center, but it will be problematic if you can't have a weekly visit.

It's not for everyone to ponder, such a process can be even turn out to be a double edged sword. I have experienced myself how hurtful it can be. Accelerating towards a greater truth, leaving my body and senses behind, left me to stagnate in any practical sense. My experience from this is that you need the right tools, not the right knowledge - to move forwards.
>> No. 10059 [Edit]
As far as I know, my current psychologist will be sending her "journal".
>> No. 10066 [Edit]
The depression could be endogenous. In which case the only way out of it is to actually literally 'grow out of it' or to get medication. A therapist won't ridicule you, if anything they'll commend you for being brave enough to actually seek help.
>> No. 10083 [Edit]
Thanks for bringing this up. Every other place I go to people are all "find other people with common interests" and "be confident!!!" and "you'll definitely find friends." Like I haven't tried this stuff already. The fact is I'm broken, like most of us here. We have to live with the fact that we're different from everyone else.

The best we can do is use that fact to our advantage. If you don't have friends, you have that much more time to dedicate to your hobby or scholarly pursuits. The best cure to depression is finding something that interests you; at the very least it will distract you for a while, and at best you'll have a new purpose in life.

I realize this isn't an amazing solution, especially if you're stuck at home, and especially if that is a hostile environment. There's no substitute for living independent. But even when you get a job and get out, whenever that happens, the other problems will remain, and this advice might help. Of course, if it's a brain/chemical thing, then medication might be in order.
>> No. 10097 [Edit]
How do we find hobbies though? I'm more or less bored of video games. Music is just something to listen to while browsing the net.
>> No. 10107 [Edit]
I like to read and write. IRC can be a good way to kill time and feel less ronery too. You don't need to do anything... just staring at the text floating up the screen can be something enjoyable in itself. Listening to people's problems or lives can be interesting too. Sometimes, when I can't even think and I'm bored of IRC, I'll go for walks and just enjoy the beautiful world around me. If that fails, there's always sulking in bed/napping... These aren't really hobbies, more activities, but I hope it helps.
>> No. 10148 [Edit]
>Every other place I go to people are all "find other people with common interests" and "be confident!!!" and "you'll definitely find friends." Like I haven't tried this stuff already.

The worst thing about is that they do not tell you how to do those things or point you in the right direction. Primarily because they expect people to figure it out on their own, but with depression the brain is too crippled to think even doing that.

>...at the very least it will distract you for a while, and at best you'll have a new purpose in life.

You can't distract yourself forever. Until we resolve the root cause of depression, it will take a long time before you recover.
>> No. 10206 [Edit]
I go outside often too for walks and such. Same path all the time, usually very early in the morning or at night if warm enough listening to music. One of the last things that keeps me happy is enjoying nature. Nature, drugs, food, and music. Think that's about it in my life. It's so hopeless I don't seek anything else anymore because I know I'll never be happy trying to obtain anything else because I'm too mentally fucked to do so and on top of living in a terribly lonely area in the first place. I couldn't find anyone around here if I tryed. Just have old people and children scattered about a bunch of mostly middle aged people.
>> No. 10209 [Edit]
I think that all I really enjoy is nature... food bores me, drugs are too expensive and not really my deal, and I only listen to music if I'm bored. Going outside for walks and losing yourself in your surroundings is really pleasant.
>> No. 10211 [Edit]
File 133688991849.jpg - (47.41KB , 361x565 , 1274316139854.jpg )
This late pro-therapy generic counseling kinda ruins the point of the thread, you know?...
But do as you please while you still can.
>> No. 10212 [Edit]
Yeah while you still can is right. I think at this point in many of our lives it is like the final 10 years or less before the breaking point when shit really hits the fan in them. Unless some continue living but just in complete misery as things continue to get worse around them as they get more and more disconnected from the world around them as everything that ever brought them comfort slowly grows so outdated and buried by time. Enjoy it, it's all you have left now.
>> No. 10215 [Edit]
It's like all of my anger and motivation has instantly turned into apathy and I just don't care any more.

I can't fix my internet. I want to die.
>> No. 10228 [Edit]
I don't see any normals here, nor do I see any trite "advice", so I don't see the problem. What I do see is fellow anons in situations alike supporting eachother. Wait, don't tell me your view is that anyone who attempts some of this "pro-therapy generic counseling" would have to be in a superior situation than everyone else (and temporarely at that - so cute).. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, because my love is just too strong!

No one needs your grave, flippant forecasts. They're useless.
>> No. 10229 [Edit]
tc isn't a support group. That guy can be as negative as he wants to be.
>> No. 10232 [Edit]

No fun allowed.
>> No. 10233 [Edit]
"no fun allowed" would apply more if only completely negative bullshit comments were allowed. you don't have to use your 4chan memes that you don't understand to fit in here.
>> No. 10234 [Edit]
Take it easy.
>> No. 10390 [Edit]
There's not much left for me, I haven't felt actual joy in years and I'm spending my life in boredom.
There's just nothing to do. The only thing that has been keeping me going is my list of visual novels, which I have completed.
My videogames, which I have cleared to the point of nothing left.
and I have finished just about every anime series to this date.
The only thing that is really keeping me going is fallout online which is getting a server wipe soon. So when that day comes, I'm going to leave the mortal world for a much more relaxing gensokyo
>> No. 10391 [Edit]
I enjoy my depression and misery. But those around me don't seem to realize it. The few people who know me are always saying "be happy!", "you can't stay like this forever." Yes I can, and I plan on it. It's comforting to me and that's all that matters.
>> No. 10396 [Edit]
This is why I try to embrace my roll as the Fool and derive some joy from mockery (life).
>> No. 10397 [Edit]
Sometimes I've learned to just sit back and laugh at how terrible it is, the reality is so bad that it's just unreal. I think about how low I've sunk in my life and it's almost hilarious to me that I managed to fuck up this bad in it. I just realized the only real joy I ever experience is delusional fantasies in my head. Nothing feels real to me, over the years I've increasing came to believe that where I am is where I'm meant to be just the fact that I can't imagine myself any other way besides what I am now only proves it to me more. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a game that's being controlled by something else. I have free will to a certain extent but everything else that happens to me is a set in stone event with set in stone outcomes based on how I act. I'm at least still alive right now so they seem to know what they're doing.
>> No. 10398 [Edit]

I get like this too. When I sit there analyzing myself I can only start to hysterically laugh and say "You're so pathetic, just fucking kill yourself already."
>> No. 10400 [Edit]
I just feel like there is nothing for me in this world, nothing I really want to do. Even if I won the lottery I would be in the same boat I'm in now, except my things would be nicer and I would have my own house. Granted, those things would be awesome and might actually make me happy for a year or so, but eventually I'm going to wind up like I am now: longing for things that are impossible and wondering when the whole thing will be over.
>> No. 10404 [Edit]
I've been depressed for a while now but its gotten worse lately. Thoughts of worthlessness have been plaguing me in my day to day life. Having applied for a job everywhere in town with no replies I find myself with nothing to do all day. I end up just taking some of the hydrocodone I have left over from when I had surgery, but it doesn't even make me feel better, it just puts me in a state where I can't think of anything, including my worthlessness. It kind of reminds me of soma from Brave New World, but I digress. In an effort to break myself from this shit, I'm signing up for Americorps, but I fear the meager stipend that they give wont be enough to free myself from my moms house.
>> No. 10410 [Edit]
I've given up looking for a job, I've also applied everywhere that had a opening but nowhere would take me. This has been going on for a year now. Fuck this, I quit. Don't really know how to go about getting government payments or whatever they're called to live on either because that's the only way I'll ever be able to live now.
>> No. 10411 [Edit]
I desperately want to kill myself, and I even made a plan to do it. Sometimes I sit and think about what people would think if I really did. If they would be sad or blame themselves. Because people have been very mean to me in the past, maybe because they thought it just must not be that bad for me, so I can take it, right? I think they would be very surprised if I killed myself. I'm not too much of a social outcast, but I guess I hide it well. I know for sure that I want to leave a note that says "It's all your fault" so everyone knows they did terrible things to me and to never do them to anyone else. And I really hope that maybe they would finally care about me upon killing myself, it sucks that I'd never get to know, though.
>> No. 10412 [Edit]
I know exactly how you feel.

The world is shit. Even "successful" people make me wonder what the point of their work is. As though a family, a house and tens of thousands in debt means you've made it in life, so what? So you can die and get buried same as everyone else.

Like you, the things I want out of life are impossible to get, and I've resigned myself to the fact that my life is completely pointless. I put on a face and play along with the whole thing because I have to, but I just don't care.
>> No. 10413 [Edit]
I don't want anyone to care about me when I kill myself since it wouldn't matter anyways. I'll just leave a note with specific instructions to burn all evidence possible that I ever existed and throw my body into the ocean or just burn that too. And also instructions to not have a funeral for me and deny I was ever alive. After I die I just want to become nothing.
>> No. 10415 [Edit]
I just feel completely drained of hope. I really genuinely miss feeling happiness and positivity. I haven't left my room between the hours of 1 AM and 6 AM in 5 days. Everything used to have some modicum of hope in it. Now...not at all. It just sucks so much to watch yourself slip. All I want to do is sleep and watch anime. That's it. That's all that is valuable to me.

It feels as if my future was a blank notebook, and some little 6-year old boy scribbled on the inside of all of the white pages before I could get to them.

I feel so much shame when I look back on my life. Nothing but shame.
>> No. 10450 [Edit]
>I feel so much shame when I look back on my life. Nothing but shame.

Man, I know how you are feeling. This is why I try to avoid looking at the past. Once I start thinking about it, I start crying, and inflict mental/physical harm on myself. It's really painful. I'll probably die drowning in a pool of tears on my deathbed at this rate.
>> No. 13909 [Edit]
Thanks for bumping a year old thread with this valuable input
>> No. 13911 [Edit]
Please stop. You're going to cut everyone with your shitposting.
>> No. 13912 [Edit]
Must have wanted people to start posting in this thread again, people who only post in old threads once they're bumped.
and one way or another, it worked.
>> No. 13977 [Edit]
Back on the original topic that really grates on my nerves too. I'm beginning to find a morbid humour in how half-assed and poorly researched some of their advice and views are. Such as - "think positive and just stop being depressed". Wow I never even knew of such a sophisticated solution and cured myself in 2 seconds. Thanks! That was from someone with medical training which made it funnier.

Anyone else get some laughably bad advice/lectures?
>> No. 13997 [Edit]
I dont feel like looking this shit up as I just spent time with Ford Drivers, but the ENTIRE pick-up artist scene is pretty much that. At least, the more questionable aspects of what PUA is.
>> No. 14002 [Edit]
What's Ford Driver slang for?
>> No. 14003 [Edit]
It's in the Tohno-chan FAQ
>> No. 14004 [Edit]
Ford drivers = normal fags(without the space)
It's a word filter on this site and a meme of sorts, it's derived from "4rd" a typo in a thread made to grade people's neet/hikki to normal ratio from 1st(neet/hikki) to 4th(normal).
>> No. 15280 [Edit]
I went & got a job.
Pissed off my parents.
55 years old.

>> No. 15289 [Edit]
Who's 55, you or your parents?

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