Being born.

Throwing money at everything instead of investing in something big while I had the chance.
I'm not even sure I regret it, but I should.

Regretting not studying more is the story of my life.

Going to college.

It's not about learning things, it's not about showing you have skill. It's about kissing ass and learning to be a good little wage slave. Learning how to regurgitate the same arguments over and over people around you want to hear. Original thought is scrutinized and if they can't refute your argument you simply get told to study more, rather than your teachers actually showing you why you were wrong.

Seeing other people kiss ass so much and get away with subpar work took a toll on me. I became really paranoid since I'm positive my teachers hated me. My crime? I dared ask hard questions to try and better understand the subject. I dared to ask why some things were important to my education. I feel like there's a level of being too smart for you're own good. Smart enough to be able to recognize somethings bullshit, but not smart enough to be capable of convincing the herd.

If I hadn't gone to college I'd be in a better emotional and financial state. Probably would have taken a year or two after high school to intensely study independently, and gotten a far better education for it. I've started doing that recently but it's hard when it feels so futile.

/blog

Not getting treatment for my depression when it started when I was about 12.

It would of been a lot easier to change the thought process of a 12 year old than someone ten years older. Damn, I hate myself. I can't wait to get my depressionbux and photo ID so I can get drunk everyday. It actually makes me feel excited thinking about that. Sorry for the tangent.

Alienating myself from everyone. Maybe reading about Existentialism and trying to apply it to real life wasn't the best idea.

>>18954
You had bad lecturers. The fact is that there are no successful "dabblers" in science any more. Anyone doing good work in their field today gained formal qualification. Even if you are a multi-millionaire who can finance equipment without research grants, you won't get meaningful work done without a team (and no one will work with you if you aren't formally qualified). "Real" researchers palm off time consuming work to postdocs and PhD students. These are two of the many reasons why there haven't been serious dabblers since the early 1900s. Even for theorists it is easier to just earn the requisite qualifications so people will read your papers, and so you can attend conferences to learn. This is just how the world is - no man is an island and all that.

>>18958
>>18957
Hell is other people.

>>18955
I remember being depressed for a really long time, even after my public suicide attempt at age 10 (Yeah, I'm that guy in that other thread) they didn't bother helping my problem, instead I had to wait 3 years later until they finally tried to help... to bad it was just to shill pills...

>>18958

I was going for art, so things are a lot more subjective in that field. Yeah, I know, "art" school and all that.

Without going into a tl;dr bloggy rant I'll put it this way: I thought I'd learn the hows and whys certain things look good. The courses ended up being really useless shit. It didn't relate to the field at all. The big one is the recycled art project. My ability to shove trash together into something nice looking is pretty irrelevant to my ability to create ads and websites. If there were just a few of these projects fine. They were constant though.

>>18957
I'm the opposite of this, I regret not alienating myself sooner. Cutting all ties with everyone is the best thing I ever did and I'm happier than I ever was because I have don't have all the worries and drama that come with people.

>>18954
>I dared ask hard questions

Are there any of these left in art?

>>18962
Art school is a scam designed to take your money. They don't care about your future, they just want you to feel like it's worth the money.
Wouldn't let me post without a picture. Weird.

>>18954
>I dared to ask why some things were important to my education.
Do you care to elaborate? If it's been too long since then that's okay. I ask because I got really irritated at someone who said something along those lines, and I want to sympathize.

I regret still being alive. Nothing so far has been worth anything, I'm not satisfied with anything. Even with having given up on sentient life, I still find disappointment just with inanimate objects that just break on me after a while. I thought that I'd be at least able to rely on these things to deal with life, but it's all breaking and going to shit.

I'm trying my best, but it doesn't matter. I don't know what to do. I just want to sleep and not wake up any more. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of everything.

I guess that I regret being controlled by my parents for so long.

Although I'm almost 31 now and my life is a bit better. Still don't know where I'm going, though.

>>18966
>>18971

It's been quite a while so a lot of the specifics are lost to me. I think I really managed to piss off the main teacher (and head of the department) by asking too many questions she didn't like. She seemed really annoyed when we were learning to categorize types of art. We'd get into arguments (civil, never heated) and she just got frustrated and told me to study more "because I'm wrong" rather than actually explain it. Wasn't doing it in a "I'm so much smarter and better" way. I was trying to better understand the subject.

I also mentioned I didn't see how things like the recycled art project and the extreme emphasis on physical presentation (as in on paper) of things like web advertisement mattered for the field of design where most of the work isn't in print anymore. She was old and seemed the type to really refuse to see change happening so that probably pissed her off too.

I know she had to hate me though because she was actively sabotaging me. I'd see ass kissers walk in with really blatantly plagiarized work and get away with it. She'd give me shit for using images under creative commons and listing them in a bibliography. If I missed a day and asked what I missed she'd often give me the wrong dates for things like a test announcement or due date on a project. I'm not the only person this happened to. I talked to a few people with similar experiences. Never challenged it though due to a lack of balls at the time. If I did she'd know it was me or one of the few other people she didn't like. She's the head of the department, she could fucking ruin me even more. Even if I did bring it to the attention of the school it would be her word vs mine.

Might be a good thing I quit it though since if I was an employer and I saw someone got their degree where I came from it'd go on the bottom of the pile.

>>18970

At the time I was naive enough to think it was practical since designers are needed unlike the sort of fine arts you might think of when I say "going for art". Designing websites, advertisements, layout, that sort of thing. I was alright at the sort of work I needed to do since it was a hobby I'd occasionally mess with, but not pro-level stuff.

Now I realize for a lot of fields you're better off pursing your interest independently.

>>18973
I do to and that's part of what is killing me. My life with them so dependent has givien me so many issues. I feel like it could have been avoided if when I was very young I had the courage to say no to everything they gave to me I didn't need but kept taking anyways till it ruined me and it was all I had. I'm 22 and in very poor health physically and mentally because I think I was the one unlucky child to get all of the worst of the family passed on to me. All the health problems, all the mental defects altogether. I'm like this failed science experiment. I'll be amazed if I even make it to 25 now.

>>18954
If there's one thing I'm glad I never did it's go to college because I just know that in addition to failing everything I would also be spit on and kicked around by everyone including the teachers. I just made it out of high school in the first 4 years by some miracle. Some of my biggest bullies actually were the teachers, I swear I was always the focus. I was like their little target, they would pick apart and over analyze everything I did while letting everyone else just skate by.

>>18937
Most of my "regrets" are really things beyond my control that shaped my personality as a young child. I "regret" having strong genetic alcoholic desires, getting traumatized as a very young person which gave me a weird fetish that makes non-waifu relationships difficult, and I regret always shutting people out in an attempt to protect them from my problems. Nevertheless, I moderate my drinking, have a waifu, and make attempts to keep close to family and some friends even if I don't share my life with them. I think I have handled this stuff well. Told everybody I was asexual too, so they are off my back about getting a 3DPD.

Every action I've ever taken.