>What stops you from just giving up now?

Dying is scary. Or at least that's what I believe, I wouldn't know for sure since I haven't actually died yet.

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?
Last Friday, actually.

Before I alienated myself, there was a friend I had since highschool whom once I even risked my life for and I still missed despite the years apart. Yesterday I had to go to campus, saw him passing by and all I could do was wave my hand slightly; he barely did the same and that was it, no words at all, not even a smile, nothing. If there was someone among those old friends that I still remembered with tenderness and didn't want to lose completely, it was him; but it can't be helped: we no longer have anything in common. The difference, of course, is that he just lost me but still has rest of the old guys and other people to share his things with; I, on the other hand, am alone. They way I became, I couldn't end but alone.

It hurt badly for one day. Then it was liberating. Then it just didn't matter, like everything else.

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?

Its hard to say I ever thought I wouldn't be. I've almost always been alone throughout my life. People don't get along with me and I don't get along with them. It's best I keep my distance. It's just something I've had to come to accept in life for my own safety.

Sure there were times I had "friends" for a short while, but its never lasted and now I just avoid it all to avoid being burned. I don't think I even have people I could call online friends anymore. I have a few people online I consider acquaintances though. They've all gotten jobs or are in school now so I almost never see them online.

> How do you cope?

I mostly indulge myself in entertainment. Things like anime, tv shows, movies, games, podcasts, reading all sorts of things, etc. Recently I've been trying my hand at writing stuff, mostly just keeping a journal and writing how my day was, about my childhood, views on the world. That sort of thing. Its oddly relaxing in a way since it feels like I get things I never talk about off my chest.

> What stops you from just giving up now?

I'm not sure. I have a few theories why I can't just bring myself to end it. I've tried but I can't.

>>17486
>Dying is scary
The thought of dying scares the living shit out of me.

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?
When I began ignoring my friends calls and messages because I realized I hated every second I wasted in their company.
>How do you cope?
There's nothing to cope with, being alone was a decision I made and I'm happy with it. If you're so lonely then there is zero stopping you from creating an okcupid account or going into a Steam friends thread and adding 100 people a day. I personally find everyone insufferable though.
>What stops you from just giving up now?
Well my most recent sources of joy have been all things related to the romanticized Wild West, such as Sabata and Call of Juarez. And I've been having loads of fun drawing lately.

>>17495
>If you're so lonely then there is zero stopping you from creating an okcupid account or going into a Steam friends thread and adding 100 people a day.
This man has the answer. Praise our hero!

I realized it many years ago.

I cope by having a life size doll modeled after my waifu. She is so cute and cuddly. I plan on saving for one of those very realistic dolls.

I know this makes me a loser in everyone's eyes, but all I want is peace and quite with the girl(imaginary as she may be) I love.

>>17502
Why don't you get a daki instead? They are more huggable. It also seems better to represent waifus in 2D pictures rather than 3D forms.

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?

Begin alone means begin safe from complications and people saying how need I live my life, so Im trying to make a way to live alone.

I don't understand the people and don't feel like Im part of this hellish society full of preconceptions and idiotic standards.

> How do you cope?

I need find a away out of my family house, so Im doing odd jobs maybe and in some months get money enough to move out.


> What stops you from just giving up now?

I want visit some places in this world, like Taiti, some how that place remembers me of Besaid and Kilika Port of Final Fantasy X, and there are another places like some buddhist temples in Asia.

>>17499
I'd really like to hear what excuses you can come up with if you think that those are unreasonable solutions to loneliness. Internet friends are a dime a dozen.

>>17507
Internet friends are fine and all, but Steam has turned into a "gamur" version of Facebook, and I seriously hope you (or whoever posted those suggestions) was outright trolling about the okcupid thing.

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?

I don't even remember

>When did you realize you'd be alone forever?
When I grew old and jaded enough to realize I probably wasn't just lost in the world, fallen through a crack from some other dimension where I really belonged.

>How do you cope?
Getting lost in worlds I'd rather be through art, entertainment, and daydreaming.
And I generally don't mind being alone. If anything it's always been less painful than being reminded of my failure to be a proper person among the ones who seem to pull it off.

>What stops you from just giving up now? I just don't see the point.
A futile hope of one day creating something beautiful or meaningful, and increasingly little of even that recently. My most constant companion, anxiety has made space for a stagnant resignation.

That said, I never really thought there needed to be any point. You either see some point to it or you don't, and you might be crazy if you do, or crazy if you don't. And regardless you either think it's easier to keep living than not, or you don't. Just boils down to me being—for now—on the side of the still living.
But had there been a form to sign before birth, explaining what would be expected of me in life as a human, things would probably be different. They really should get to work on implementing that procedure for life. Or stop having children.

>>17507
People online are still people and I tend to think that if anything you could ideally have a more "real" friendship online since you'd be sticking around each other simply because you genuinely want to rather than largely because of physical proximity, being in the same class or whatever.

Of course, that's just the naïve waffling of someone who has never managed to have a meaningful interpersonal relationship in any way.

>>17513
I agree with you, I was merely pointing out how abundant potential internet friends are. There's no excuse for "being lonely" when you're sitting in front of a computer connected to the internet.
>"but my social skills are shit"
Okay? Even severely autistic people can improve over time. Social skills are a learned talent; it's not something you're born with. And the internet is the best way to improve on them. Spending hours and hours talking to hundreds of people is going to get you places eventually.

Alone forever? Well, I guess I just don't really have any interest in not being alone, which is why I'll be alone forever.

>Even severely autistic people can improve over time
And then regress again when things change. And then improve once things have settled. And then regress again. Regress when seasons change, regress when a caregiver goes on holiday, regress when their mom sneeze in an unexpected way, regress when the new edition of Star Wars gets changed again. Time to cut self for numbing effect, time to exert violence on closest living thing because it's probably their fault things changed again. Never change.

>There's no excuse for "being lonely" when you're sitting in front of a computer

>the internet is the best way to improve [social skills]

>Spending hours and hours talking to hundreds of people [online] is going to get you places eventually

Welcome to the well of wisdom.

>I just don't see the point

Neither do I. After losing so many internet friends, I don't even try anymore. They all just sort of moved on or disliked me. It's gotten to the point where I don't really mind being alone, and that it also relieves me. I'm able to do the things I want to do without having to worry about whether a person likes me or not.

>>17520
>Alice with freckles

such a delicious combo

>>17520
>It's gotten to the point where I don't really mind being alone
I can hardly take this from someone who posts on imageboards and talks to people over the internet. I'm not discrediting you on your affirmation, but have you ever been alone for more than a week without communicating with a single person? This counts internet conversations and posts since they are substitutes of conversation.

>>17523
>I can hardly take this from someone who posts on imageboards and talks to people over the internet.

This is actually the first time since 2012 making a post on any imageboard. But as for casual chit-chat with random people, I tend to avoid altogether. Moments like this will just disappear again as months go by.

>have you ever been alone for more than a week without communicating with a single person?

I spend most of my time sleeping, watching videos/anime, listening to music, daydreaming, and sometimes reading. All of which comes with no social interaction, in my case. In short, yes. Most likely longer than a week.

It's hard to feel complete isolation if you use a computer.

>>17531
Even with people being a click away they still feel as distant as the oceans that separate us. Communicating with people online is my one and only real source real human interaction, and yet no one feels human. It's like talking to a bunch of robots, some more robotic than others. No body ever wants to play games together or do anything, and when anything remotely personal comes up many just shut themselves off. I don't understand them. when I try to talk to them they often ignore me, even when they start conversations thry ignore when I respond. The second you say something they don't like they're not afraid to shoot you down, and they don't like a lot of things. I'm puzzled my how online relationships can work when people act the way they do. Everyone I know online has online friends and relationships, how this happens I don't know.

>>17532
>I'm puzzled my how online relationships can work when people act the way they do.

They don't. The relationship is temporary until they move on or find someone better. It's all about status and their wants. You might be lucky to last with someone not so fortunate, but there's still a chance of them leaving.

>>17534
Do you have any online friends?

>>17537
nope

>>17534
I've known some people over the internet for more than 7 years now.

>>17582
Knowing people online and being friends with them isn't the same thing.

>>17586
I am very good friends with them.

>>17582
I see. There's probably something about you they really like, I guess. A trait that stands out will get people.

>>17582
I thought you were me for a second but then I realized I didn't post that.