I find myself in a similar place, OP. This is my third time trying to do post secondary and I'm despairing constantly. Second semester, and I've spent half of it despairing. This is a program that, in order for it to work out for you, requires you to actually learn things, rather than just regurgitate things out onto the programs. I don't want to learn, I don't want to think, even though I know it will be good for me. It's hard. And it's much harder when your most formidable enemy is yourself. I don't want to become a NEET again, but it just may happen. I'm also very fortunate to live with my parents, who cook for me, and a few blocks away from my college. I look at people who bus from across the city. They work hard. Often, it's inspiring, but only with my fragile good mood. Today, it's despairing.
I wish you the best.