/so/ - Ronery
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16705 No. 16705 [Edit]
Today I went through my old high school stuff. It's been sitting on a shelf for four years.

I got to my uni preparatory files after rummaging through classwork and drawings. Going through grades (horrendous) and looking at my naive lofty ambitions were depressing. Looking at my scholarship applications where I tried to make "anime club president" seem like a huge achievement made me cringe.

It was good and bad in a way. On one hand, I realised I have been romanticising a shitty time in my life, and the two classes I failed were undoubtedly because of the teachers (who have since been fired because their classes had abysmal failure rates). But I've also always been this depressive and workshy, and I have no idea how I will be able to continue the bullshit education process in order to get a decent job that won't kill me early and will pay enough to survive off of.

In a way I am very upset that I didn't try harder in school. My peers are already graduating college and enjoying their lives and making cool stuff and going to cool places, but I've just been heartbroken since my college pursuits came up nil and I sank into depression.
>> No. 16706 [Edit]
Follow up: I burned all my old files and stuff (it's all dated info like my junior year grades and stuff) and I'm going to get my SAT scores and stuff and try applying to a community college and work in IT. I mean, it's simple enough for me, and opens up opportunities, and pays well. Maybe I can get somewhere far away from my old life and be renewed.
>> No. 16707 [Edit]
What kind of IT? For the simple and non-management stuff I hope you're Indian. Heck, big corps would rather bring them in from India on temporary visas for the cost reduction. To be fair, outsourced remote system assistance isn't bad with them.
>> No. 16708 [Edit]
I'm still a freshman in college. When I look back at my high school stuff I'm somehow able to ego stroke and think of how much I've improved with personal ambitions and such... I don't know I always felt like I did a lot of stupid things, but still, no regrets so far I guess. My friends aren't really making me jealous with anything and we don't talk much anyways.
>> No. 16709 [Edit]
You can have 1000 doubt's OP but I got to ask you what's is it that you want to do that makes you happy in your life? Go pursue your dream OP!
>> No. 16711 [Edit]
I find I romanticise periods of time in which I know for a fact I was as depressed as I am now, or even more so. It's as if the object of my fantasy isn't the time period itself, but the potential to do things differently.
>> No. 16713 [Edit]
Heheh, I guess you could say I was moody and depressed a bit more often in high school and didn't handle it as well, but I guess I just miss the time spent with friends there and some of the experiences.
>> No. 16714 [Edit]
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
>> No. 16744 [Edit]
There's always worse situations that make you envy the times you had smaller problems.

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