I'll admit to being very jealous. I haven't been on medication for three years and I'm still so dulled to everything. I wish I wasn't like this. I am not sure if this matters but when I did quit, I quit cold turkey - 120mg to nothing. It was very stupid and I was extremely sick for a week, throwing up and with a fever, but I had to get it out of me.
I was in the latter category that you mentioned but I still wonder if it was the right choice. Sure, I'm "functional" now (what a joke), but at what cost? I refused medication a lot at first but then I thought "oh what the hell I'll probably kill myself anyway, and if I don't maybe I'll get better, and it will get people to shut up" and started taking it.
If I had known it'd end up like this, I might not have done it. It's weird because I don't regret being alive right now, and I probably would have tried to kill myself a lot more if I hadn't taken them - but all the same, I miss my old self that is essentially dead. I guess he would have died in any case.
I also don't know if this is related to either depression or anti-depressants, but after I took them for about a year, I noticed that there are a lot of memories that are missing. It could well be that I'm repressing something but sometimes it bothers the hell out of me because I used to remember things so clearly and it's gone now. I want to blame it on the medication but I don't know if that's a thing that happens...
Sorry. I know there's no use in whining over this (it's all over, things can't change) but I really wanted to vent all of this somewhere.