I used to, but I realized that only I am in control of my own future actions. I am the one to blame for almost all of my mistakes. In regards to the shitty stuff that happened beyond my control - most of it couldn't have been avoided. I was just unlucky. And my failures from 10 on were all my fault, unequivocally. (Unless you separate the soul from the flesh, in which case it was my flesh's fault, but I don't.)
It's funny because when I realized this, I simultaneously made a plan to end it if it gets too bad and also felt way more in control of my life than ever, despite how uncertain the future is. It also ended my loneliness. I cherish being alone now. To be fair, having pets helps.