Anyone else think happinness is something that only hurts you? You spoil yourself with those brief moments, and then spend the rest of your life fruitlessly wishing and searching for it to happen again. It is as if you are the bottom of a very deep well, and something, somehow, gives you the hope to try to climb out of it, but you aren't able to, never will, so you fall sooner or later, back to the mud, more broken than before. You would be better off just lying on the dirt. You can't miss something you never had.

Whenever I feel happy, I can't help but think how feeble and ephemeral the feeling, and more importantly, the source of this happiness is. The world always seems to default to either zero or negatives. I feel like a fool for clinging at these things.