I see other people have their lives ruined by the people around them, so I'm kinda glad I don't need to deal with that.

Yes I have also become much stronger, emotionally and physically from the abuse I even put on myself because I wasn't going to change. I got so much more out of life so far than any normal has besides human connection. I still want it badly just once but besides that I'm almost complete here. Physically you would need to break my bones or slice me open to stop me, my pain resistance is extremely high and I have extremely high endurance. People are completely amazed at what I can normally accomplish on my own like it's nothing. Pain just doesn't affect me much either way. Maybe it's just because I don't care about anything, not even my body in pain so I can push it to its limits. Sometimes I wish I cared but my mind my won't let me even feel guilt or sympathy most of the time. When I'm in emotional distress there's only desire for something I want, it's disconnected from sharing the pain of anything else even though I can definitely put myself in the shoes of others. Care was killed for strength.

At the very least, I've certainly learned not to let things bother me very much. Several people have told me that I'm too zen, but I just feel like everyone already deals with so much, I'll do them a favor and put on a smile (that is, if I ever go outside). I think all that time alone is good for introspection provided you aren't being self-loathing, which sadly is the case with a lot of people here. I just got so tired of hating myself every day that I sort of pushed it to the back of my mind. Do I hate myself? Sure. Do I dwell on it? Not one bit.

Yes, definitely. I've spent a good bit of time in institutions, and those shitholes are really the loneliest places on earth (though the ones I went to were some of the nicer ones). Initially I engaged in self-loathing because of my condition, but I've since learned to use them as assets rather than being ashamed of them. For example, you might think that shitting your bed every night is purely a liability, but it also works wonders for getting bleeding heart social workers to empathize with your plight and give you free money and appearing weak so as to not appear a threat.

I'm stronger than I've ever been: more decisive, better at efficient prioritizing and working towards long-term goals, more physically fit, more capable at lying and other skills, and knowing what I want.

What is the purpose in education and work? Making daddy proud? Being a good citizen? Leaving an impact on the world? Providing for your family? Being EET takes eats enormous resources is inherently self-sacrifical, and for what? Your children die, your family continues to hate Russia and whine about matters of the world beyond their control, the state will eventually fall regardless of your actions, people you "help" won't be any better off with your aid and might only become less self-sufficient because of your actions, and the world will not change even if you sacrifice yourself for it. In the end, all you get for yourself are money and the ability to work your trade, with the latter being useful mostly for the former.

I can acquire the meager amount of money I require to get by far more efficiently without working, and my assets are very well suited for this particular trade.

I had no clue the Chinese even made cartoons. would you care to share some examples?

>>12821
>I can acquire the meager amount of money I require to get by far more efficiently without working
How do you get that money?

>>12822
Astro Plan

No in the short-run and yes in the long-run. In the short-run all it did was give me crippling social anxiety. But in the long-run when I finally did return to society, I could safely say I had an experience that most 'normals' will never get. I can't really put it into words but to demonize it I will say while most normals will obsess over the most tiniest things, I could fully enjoy myself in life just by being 'average' because I had experienced a depth that they can't even comprehend.

>>12855
Hahahaha, you sound like such a self centered faggot.
"You just wouldn't understood my darkness!"

staying at home all day being mopey and reading Nietzsche isn't something so amazing you could use to feel better about yourself.

I don't get mad at stuff anymore, hate just drains your energy. Normals are so hateful though, it's a damn shame really.

>>12795

I don't know, i'm 32 and i'm still virgin

>>12857
Long-term isolation from society (such as imprisonment or NEETdom) is statistically something most people have not experienced, and it certainly can drastically change a person, because, well, it is rather drastically different from life on the outside. I don't see anything particularly "edgy" about his post, maybe you'd like to check out >>>/yotsuba/ if you like that sort of thing.

>>12822
Sometimes people call anime Chinese Cartoons. It's an old meme from i don't remember where.

I do. First, I used to (subconsciously, and without noticing) copy and sincerely believe the likes, dislikes and opinions of other people, so that I could "fit in", even if their views were nonsensical or arbitrary. I think I'm less easy to influence now. Or I just grew up.
Second, I feel smarter too. Many questions that used to fascinate me are now either clear or clearly unanswerable or clearly irrelevant to me.
If anything good comes with aging, it's wisdom. I used to think my life as an unstoppable process of decay, but nowadays I think I'm gaining something too.

I am who I am, and what I've been through in life has helped make that happen. I wouldn't say that any of what I've been through has made me stronger, in fact, I don't think I could possibly be weaker. That being said, it's still who I am, and I would never want to trade it to be any one else. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

>>12862
>If anything good comes with aging, it's wisdom. I used to think my life as an unstoppable process of decay, but nowadays I think I'm gaining something too.

I'd like so much to agree with this. That even if my body becomes a grotesque puppet that only gives problems to myself and other people, while we all start wishing I'd just die already, there's the light that never goes out of intellectual enhancement.

But, on one hand, the mind decays as well: the intense but jerky juvenile pushfulness, merely gets took over by the equally intense but flimsy and stubborn senile pushfulness. And, on the other hand, learning (if such a thing) doesn't really comes with age as much as with what gives us the very sense of time: changes, understood as encounters with new signs that allow us to broaden and reshape our inner worlds; and we can no longer run into such meetings with a mind and body already suffering the terminal stages of the inner sickness that is age.

IN TOPIC:
>>12795
I couldn't tell if I'm any stronger than before, since I merely (and consciously) restricted my experiences to the enviroments I could readily control or cope with. So, if anything, whatever new sense of strenght I may get from this experience is likely to be delusional: a mere stage. I mean: I basically just gave up; how could that build strenght at all?

I feel like I'm stronger. I guess this way of thinking is cliched, but the way normals act, they are like robots. I feel like I'm able to make decisions for myself and thus, I control my life the way I want it. The downside is that I don't get the perks of being a robot, I don't get the guidance and the set road. I pretty much have to walk blindly.

Unlike most other people in this thread, I don't think I've become stronger at all. Even if I did recover, I wouldn't be up to speed with everyone else. It would just mean I'm someone who is missing several years of experience.

Bone becomes stronger as a result of tiny microfractures from trauma like jogging, but all a huge blow breaking the bone does is cripple you for life.

A general rule of thumb I've found is "avoid bad relationships". In my experience, it is much more effective than trying to "find good relationships". YMMV

I suppose so.
Although I crave contact, I've killed off the despair that some people experience when social links are broken.
But I must say that the craving of contact is starting to dry up as it is anyway....

>>13127
I still crave one good connection with someone because I've never felt a physical connection with another person before. But beyond that I'm fine in my solitude. Even though I'm miserable on the surface a lot, I still feel inner peace and power. Ever since I started meditating heavily my desires for a lot of things have lessened and my patience has increased. I just live for my own pleasures now and a small hope of connection with someone. I also feel a connection to something much more powerful I can't put my finger on but negative emotions feel more distant now and mostly just connected to my humanity. But then again I've killed off a lot of my humanity over the years anyways, my desire for human pleasure is mostly all that remains. I'm only depressed because of my lack of it and inability to control some things about my own body. Strength comes from control, connection, and freedom from fear and guilt. I can't think of anything else it does but with strength also comes a lack of humanity. For people like me who were fucked in life from the very beginning because of the mental inability to survive on their own and a natural disconnection from how different they are than most others on top of that, this path is the only one for me.