/ot/ - Otaku Tangents
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15685 No. 15685 [Edit]
What happened? Have you accomplished anything today?

I slept under a tree, came home and started making appropriate folders and RSS feeds for all the new shows airing today.
Expand all images
>> No. 15689 [Edit]
I've been without power for the last 38 hours after one hell of a storm knocked it out. Moved through the area quickly, but it was a violent storm. Was sleeping when it it, thought the world was ending from how bad it looked with the constant lightning flashes.

The 100+ degree heatwave feels downright murderous without my fans or the AC. Been reading The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress and napping in order to pass the time, but with how widespread the damage is and how unreliable the local power company is I have a feeling that it might be a few more days. Hell, they even said it would be a week for them to get everyone's lights back on. Damn it, I much would have rather dealt with actually not having internet like I thought would happen weeks ago over this. I was prepared for that, and this came out of nowhere. Damn it all.

It's summer. I want to die.
>> No. 15692 [Edit]
That really sucked. I always nap to pass the time too.

Watched some anime, slept a lot, listened to an album by some people on another imageboard I visit, and slept some more. I wonder how the rest of the day will go.
>> No. 15701 [Edit]
Got a spiffy new keyboard and mouse today, and worked out the kinks of getting connected to a private server for a game. All in all I'm feeling pretty accomplished.

Damn, I heard about that storm, my heart goes out to you. We're pretty blackout prone up here, but we've never had one that bad, and never in the middle of a fucking heatwave. Hope it gets fixed soon.
>> No. 15702 [Edit]
Today I watched all the new anime that aired, and helped typeset some subtitles for one of them. I started smoking again too...talk about hypocritical, but I forgot how damn well it makes you concentrate. Ran out of my schizophrenia medication and I've been seeing shit all day, so I've been going for random walks to stop it. Found some real nice flowers while out walking earlier, and put them in my kitchen.
>> No. 15703 [Edit]
Summer really murders NEETs, huh?

I wish I had AC so bad...
>> No. 15704 [Edit]
I ate a (wrapped) sucker I found in my drawer and now I have a tummyache
>> No. 15715 [Edit]
Slept a lot, posted on imageboards, played a few games of DOTA and watched some anime. I found out that a video rental store in my town recently got a job offering when the manager called me on the phone and I'm going in for an interview tomorrow. Pretty nervous, but if I have to do it, I suppose I will...
>> No. 15716 [Edit]
Today I read many ideas about social networks to try and get argumentation and base as to why I would hate them, and I stumbled upon the number of nine hundred billion people on Facebook. I had no idea the situation was that bad.
>> No. 15717 [Edit]
>nine hundred billion people on Facebook
are they pulling in registrations from parallel universes or something
>> No. 15718 [Edit]
Had a very lazy day. Went for a short walk in the morning. Worked on some writings, watched a lot of anime, and played a VN on PSP. Have work tomorrow, so I suppose I should try sleeping for once too.
>> No. 15719 [Edit]
I had an argument with my mom. I told her I want to move out to a little 2.5x2.5m storage room downtown which belonged to our grandfather. It's located in a office building, and it has access to a shared toilet as well as electricity and wi-fi. She said lol no, it doesn't even have a bed. I showed her my sleeping bag. She got angry and told me to get real and grow up. Haruhidamn I can't win any arguments against her. I need to get out, but she won't let me.
>> No. 15720 [Edit]
>I need to get out, but she won't let me.
Here's a crazy idea, just go. you say you've already got a place to stay.
>> No. 15721 [Edit]
She probably just doesn't wanna see her child live in a closet
>> No. 15722 [Edit]
File 134130398336.jpg - (232.16KB , 1000x606 , 1341302640839.jpg )
The Pizza Hut product placement in anime is working man. I so want a pizza right now.
>> No. 15723 [Edit]
But that says Pizza-la...
>> No. 15724 [Edit]
It may say that, but he now associates pizza with Pizza hut, which is what the product placement is supposed to do, and now that he wants pizza he wants to take his business to Pizza Hut instead of any other pizzeria.

I want pizza,too...
>> No. 15725 [Edit]
A lot of the Pizza hut product placement in the past has made me want to get Pizza hut pizza, but then I remember Pizza hut in this country has nothing at all to do with what the product placement is in (japs at least get custom boxes related to the anime) so I just go to papa johns, which I think is better.
>> No. 15726 [Edit]

The anime character placement in pizza ads is working man. I so want to hug Yayoi right now.
>> No. 15727 [Edit]
Ahh, I broke my mouse.

I was trying to fix my mouse because the wheel wasn't clicking correctly, so I took off the top part, which then cracked the thingy that pushes the buttons for the left and right buttons, and as I tried to set them in correctly, the left one snapped off making the left button completely unusable. Then I took off the plastic thingy and it somehow ended up moving the inside button thingy completely off the board thingy. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted to fix my wheel.

Now it only works if I use my nail to press the tiny left button and give it a smack on the right side for the now retarded left button to work. The wheel works perfectly now, though.

Never mind, the right button doesn't work any more.

>> No. 15731 [Edit]
Went in to apply for a job, they told me they'd love to talk with me about it tomorrow. I'll spend the rest of the day reading Evola and Derrida.
>> No. 15733 [Edit]
"Worked - hate it. Came home, studied Hans-Georg Gadamer, napped. Burned my hand with a cigarette. Saw an awful person (you're just seeing things, remember). Terrifying. Sketched Rakka from Haibane Renmei. Napped again. Had a weird dream - awful. Thought. Forgot to buy more meds. The mind is swarmed with delusions. Why you're a failure: contradicting thoughts and feelings - this is why everyone hates you. Stop bothering. New curtains, practiced sign language (you're so slow). Random back log selection: Majokko Megu-chan. Watch this until bed."
>> No. 15734 [Edit]
Yeah you gotta always be careful when disassembling something to fix it. If you don't, you're almost certain to break something. Often its designed in such a way tht you can't even open it apart without breaking something or setting loose some tiny part in some socket.
>> No. 15735 [Edit]
Who are you quoting?
>> No. 15736 [Edit]
I'm trying out seamonkey right now, and I don't notice any difference from firefox besides the uglier default UI. Granted, I don't do much on the web besides tohno-chan, porn, and look for a job, so maybe it's faster or something, I haven't noticed.

Another difference is that there seems to be an odd bug when I try to delete all the cookies in a domain: it only deletes every other cookie in that domain...

Also, getting on exhentai was a pain because cookiemanager+ isn't compatible, so I had to use a sqlite database managager plugin.
>> No. 15737 [Edit]
Helped Lux build his gigantic computer, then went home and slept. Woke up today.
>> No. 15739 [Edit]
I melted in the heat all day, then spent some time at the library studying and cooling off.
>> No. 15740 [Edit]
Power came back on Monday, was glad it did because I was starting to get into arguments with my family over silly things.

Internet was out until today because of some damage on my ISP's end. Stocking up on anime for the outage I was expecting nearly a month ago paid off.
>> No. 15742 [Edit]
True survivalism.
>> No. 15743 [Edit]
Went to a Japanese restaurant (Gyu-Kaku for those wondering) then splashed in. The beach/half-assed swimmed then watched the independence day fireworks by the beach. I am going home to deal with the fucked up debit card I got (mother got a 'reward' card from her ISP and I didn't activate it earlier...oops) and to grilll chicken as I am still hungry from that.
>> No. 15745 [Edit]
I use Seamonkey (like both you and the person you're replying to) and found it annoying to get exhentai to work. Maybe it's because I use an older machine and GNU, but I just found over time that it runs more smoothly and does everything I need as well as Firefox does.
>> No. 15746 [Edit]
I'm really bored. But I don't want to do anything.
I finally worked up the interest to drink. But then I ran out.
>> No. 15747 [Edit]
Watched Mushishi and drank tea. Good enough for me.
>> No. 15757 [Edit]
Read manga all day, went to see some foreign films with my sister, and had a fun night.
>> No. 15769 [Edit]
Today I woke up later than I did in the past week, and found out I have a cavity.
>> No. 15770 [Edit]
Went to Vermont, staying here for a while. On a huge place with nature trails and a lake all around. Just us and the owners out here.

I found a gigantic quartz stone, then I found a pile of really good wood, I think I will enshrine the quartz stone.
>> No. 15773 [Edit]
Learned a computer virus is supposed to knock a lot of people off the internet monday, namely people who don't know how to keep their stuff secure and virus free. Looking forward to it
>> No. 15774 [Edit]
Worked on a painting all morning and then read some essays on minimalism and aesthetics. Watched a bunch of new shows that aired yesterday/today (Natsuyuki is really neat). Read a bit of manga. Watered some plants. Feeling really lazy today so I'll have fun with my sister the rest of the night.
>> No. 15775 [Edit]
I heard it had something to do with the FBI setting up temporary DNS servers to counter some DNS malware, and those servers will expire Monday, leaving those who are still infected in the dust.
>> No. 15776 [Edit]
The basil plants that were seemingly killed off by the extreme heat managed to recover.
>> No. 15777 [Edit]
couldn't they just change the clock on their pc?
>> No. 15791 [Edit]
Today, I have to go to a fireworks thing. How lame.
>> No. 15792 [Edit]

Just remember to shout 'Tamaya' and 'Kagiya' and you should be fine.
>> No. 15794 [Edit]
Had to work, and have been tired all day. Learned of a internet "friends" suicide last night, and have felt down from that. To take my mind off stuff I went for a walk in some woods to read and play PSP alone, and fell asleep under a willow tree.
>> No. 15803 [Edit]
Vermont trip when exceptionally well.

The bugs out here are real pussies, and are apparently afraid of the dark. Last night I laid on the grass for an hour or so, watching all the stars. Saw a satellite go by, really amazing.
>> No. 15811 [Edit]
My mom went to stay with her boyfriend for about a week. I've got the house to myself until Friday. Feels nice being the only one in the house.
>> No. 15812 [Edit]
don't masturbate too much!
>> No. 15813 [Edit]
I felt dizzy all day, and fainted at work. Sat in a hospital all day and they forcibly fed me through my nose since I don't eat. Tried to watch some anime when I came home, but I slept all night instead.
>> No. 15817 [Edit]
I wiped a ton of dust off of my TV screen and now it almost seems too bright
>> No. 15821 [Edit]
Scribbled this on a napkin:

• What is this solder made of, chromium?
• He hates you, stop.
• Eat!
• It's fun to spy on people.
>> No. 15832 [Edit]
Touched my guitar for the first time in ages and cut my finger trying to do a slide.
Now I'm a bit afraid, as the strings were old and rusty.
>> No. 15840 [Edit]
Today I worked a bit, then went to a psychiatric appointment. I spent the rest of the afternoon gardening and reading books. Going to finish a painting and play some games for the rest of the night. Overall it was a pleasant day.
>> No. 15841 [Edit]
Played Life with my niece, nephew, and sister. Refused to marry, deliberately chose a low paying easy job. According to the rules I didn't win but I think I did.
>> No. 15843 [Edit]
Finished House of Leaves. Began reading Labyrinths.
Made an unpleasant phone call. Wrote a few short
stories and worked on polishing them. Day dreamed.
Drank gin. Tried on a few new jackets my sister
bought for me. Took a nap in someone's garden. Woke
up, came home. Ate some pepperoni. Now chatting on
>> No. 15844 [Edit]
I hacked my first computer game today

and by hacked I mean I put a clear piece of tape with a dot on it on my screen
>> No. 15849 [Edit]
I made some rice with the tomatoes I harvested with my tomato plant. first thing I ate grown by me.
>> No. 15851 [Edit]
My internet has been acting very strangely ever since i woke up this morning.
>> No. 15852 [Edit]
I never understood what is advantage of using clear tape while playing video games. I think I just don't play enough.
>> No. 15854 [Edit]

I'm really curious now.
Why did you do that?
>> No. 15855 [Edit]
I've been reading a lot lately and thinking about abstract things. I read an interesting essay on Japanese "Parahistory" written by a guy I've talked with for a while. Myth and culture, tradition in general are so neat! I really hope my books I ordered on that subject come soon.

> my complete fidelity
sorry to hear about your boyfriend dumping you bro!
>> No. 15857 [Edit]
It's probably the old trick for FPSes with no crosshair.
>> No. 15859 [Edit]
File 134221162331.gif - (132.01KB , 393x424 , a6eb17a71deb879fc934a1b8d752dc0b.gif )
I made coconut flan
it was delicious
>> No. 15860 [Edit]

Yep. In the game I'm playing sniper rifles don't show the crosshair and shoot wildly unless you scope in. With the tape, I will know exactly where I'm aiming and all I need to do is scope really quick and shoot. It's cheap as hell and makes people really mad so I love it
>> No. 15866 [Edit]
I spent the last couple days in a psychiatric hospital again. I was ready to die, but I'm okay now. I've determined I was brought to life to be physically and mentally abused. To be laughed at, ridiculed, stepped on. After all this time trying to change things and accept my terrible past, I've given up. I am weak, do whatever the fuck you want. I don't care anymore.

Slightly more uplifting is news I received: a short story I submitted to a literary magazine earlier this year was accepted. Though, I am unsure as to whether I really want it published; it's personal regardless how fictionalized it is, nor do I have much confidence in myself as a writer, though I guess if it was accepted it's worth something. Guess I'll think on it.
>> No. 15870 [Edit]
I spent the majority of today setting up a Windows 98+XP dual-boot on this computer from 1998 that I still had hooked up.

After that, I considered using it as a server for something, then I realized it's probably way too slow for anything like that. Oh well, guess I can always boot into 98 and play DOS games...
>> No. 15871 [Edit]
Tried to play with some physics problems. Ended up stuck most of the day on mathematical trivialities of one single problem.
Also messed a bit with Dezaemon, funny thing.
>> No. 15872 [Edit]
Discharged, slept, quit my job, bought books, had some coke-a-cola, read some plays, went for a walk and made a sketch of a bird, then scoured Steam for goodies. My days are so repetitive.
>> No. 15876 [Edit]
Just discovered John Fahey. Amazing guitarist.
>> No. 15887 [Edit]
Woke up really late, played some game, found an artist on pixiv i really like and spent almost 2 hours going through their works, and in a few hours I'm gonna watch the breaking bad premiere
>> No. 15891 [Edit]
I tried talking to my mom about that episode of and it was frustrating because she totally misunderstood key scenes, which is no surprise considering she didn't understand the finale last year either and who knows what else. I have no idea how she can watch television if her brain can't make even the simplest deductions, must be why 90% of what she watches is reality show garbage.
>> No. 15892 [Edit]
John Fahey is great. Check out Jack Rose and James Blackshaw as well, they have some similar stuff. And Robbie Basho too.

I woke up, had to deal with my annoying grandmother, then went to the park for a walk. It's too hot though, and there's that kind of sunlight that seems like it's not there but you still can't to open your eyes fully, so it wasn't a good walk. Also listened to The Downward Spiral while walking.
>> No. 15894 [Edit]
Called a bunch of bike messenger services. I got nothing. Well a few are hiring (like 2). Granted it's summer so shit is full then anyway, but I couldnt register earlier or try applying as i was dealing with class. Ugh. well I should specify I FINISHED calling all 20 or so listed on this site, after looking through all the messenger businesses posted on Yelp.

2 Days ago I went to this food festival with my mother and some cousins. They are in my city from Mississippi. Showing them how it is in a big city and all that. They fuck you in the ass re. prices, and they try to hide that by having a ticket system - i.e. 8 dollars for 12 tickets and most shit is at least 5 tickets. Fucking 3 chicken wings from a local/black-owned chicken chain is like 8-10 tickets. Fuck you, you can get a ~8 wing meal with fries for like ~8 dollars. One guy noted "they're playing with us". I also pissed away nearly an entire strip on italian ice + a pop as i ate some spicy-ass african food (jerk chicken + red beans/rice). I did like those Thai chicken satays with peanut sauce on it (the sauce is better than it sounds ^ _^)
>> No. 15898 [Edit]
I ate too many snacks and now my tummy hurts.
>> No. 15899 [Edit]
Went for a walk and almost got murdered
>> No. 15901 [Edit]
I slept until afternoon, then went out for a walk. Finished this essay on ethics I started writing earlier, and fell asleep in a forest. Slacked off on the internet the rest of the night while catching up on some manga series.
>> No. 15902 [Edit]
Sounds exciting, tell me more.
>> No. 15907 [Edit]
I'd really rather not.
>> No. 15908 [Edit]
Thanks for those recommendations. Totally digging Robbie Basho's stuff right now.
>> No. 15909 [Edit]
Something weird happened to me today when I picked up the phone (there was no one else home)

I felt a electric shock go from my coxis straight into my skull. It made me tingly all over, and I got this salty taste in my mouth. I dropped down to the floor, and started grinding my teeth while drooling. I didn't cum, but I was pretty close. I have no idea what this phenomenon is called.
>> No. 15910 [Edit]
I'm not sure but I think you're a superhero now
>> No. 15911 [Edit]
Today I was dragged out in brutal summer heat to go to a museum with my sister, and saw some interesting stuff. There was a piano & some sheet music in this one area, and for some reason I started playing bits from Brahms' Piano Concerto No 1. Somehow a person realized I was deaf and next thing I know a group of people were listening. It was really uncomfortable so I had to leave. At least I know I can still play well, but it made me really anxious for the rest of the day. Fuck summer.
>> No. 15914 [Edit]
File 134257828835.jpg - (102.55KB , 361x318 , pffff.jpg )
I exercised for the first time in 2 years.

I ran for 30 minutes on a medium intensity program on the treadmill and it pretty much killed me. During exercising and a little while after, it felt like my heart was going to burst.
I'm going to try and do it 5 times a week, though.
The only thing I'm worried about is that I'll lose even more weight.

But seriously, it's as much fun as sticking your hand into a bee hive. Even with music, it seems to take forever.
>> No. 15915 [Edit]
Nothing. Learned like 20 kanji, tried to play go but I only played one match and got pissed so I stopped. The guy kept blitzing even though we had 30 minutes each, and resigned after a bit even though he was ahead. It was really annoying.
>> No. 15916 [Edit]
I recently read this: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/articles/the-message-of-majoras-mask/

, then I killed some bees with some cockroach spray that were trying to build their nest near the entrance to my house after I killed some weird flying black insect thingy that I'm starting to see more of in the house. The flying black insect thingy looks like a bigger mosquito that was an inch long (or at least seemed so because of it's hind legs). I then slept the rest of the day.

I now feel hungry. Or at least felt hungry when I was typing this up.
>> No. 15919 [Edit]
Guy with the 'hikikiomori' shirt from the last thread. I wore it again today, and a gay guy hit on me while I was reading a book on the baltic countries' history at a bookstore. Apparently he was a history professor who used to teach at harvar - and his last BF was a student at Harvard. Wonder why he doesn't teach there anymore....
>> No. 15920 [Edit]
My schedule is work, eat, sleep, read/fuck around with a masturbate thrown in on days I don't work (it's too Haruhidamn tiring.) My new life is better than my old, but I'm struck by how pointless it is. AT least now I have some money to use so I can make myself feel good by using it in various ways.
>> No. 15921 [Edit]
Have had an annoying abdominal pain all evening - shit is really distracting. Finished up some anime series at least.

Post edited on 18th Jul 2012, 8:08pm
>> No. 15924 [Edit]
Fuck the post office. I hope it goes bankrupt. Fuck it to the depths of hell.
>> No. 15926 [Edit]
Made some popcorn and enjoyed the K-on! movie. Now I must wait for the Steins;Gate, Madoka, and Strike Witches movies.
>> No. 15927 [Edit]
I decided to apply at university again for another degree. 4 year Ph.D programme this time - I'm so excited.

Also watched the K-on! movie despite garbage subtitles and recovered from a sleepless night all afternoon.
>> No. 15928 [Edit]
I've been feeling really down today (more than usual anyway) and I'm not sure why. I can barely muster my fake happy persona in front of my parents
>> No. 15929 [Edit]
I made a lot of tweets on Twitter today. Most weren't very good but I could talk with a Brohno some, at least. If anyone else here uses it, I have my U/N in the email field. It'd be fun to add each other on there. It's kind of like IRC.

Ordered a new laptop keyboard (fucked mine up when I was drunk last night, heh). Looked at some esoteric belief websites online and got some good laughs. It's such a bizarre subculture, the new age and paganism and UFO's and NWO and all that. I mean, I think that I'm crazy, but at least I mostly live in reality... those guys are fucking NUTS. They really believe that Haruhi talks to them and that Satan's trying to take over earth or whatever. Could you call it modern mythology?

I think I'll watch the Zeta Gundam movies tonight after watching the K-On one. I feel like I've been disconnecting from reality again lately, so these distractions are helpful... it feels like my mind is full of mud and our material world is miles and miles away. But it gives me inspiration for ontological and metaphysical writings, so I can't complain too much. It's just making any form of thriving in life past staring at the computer screen or lying in bed very difficult.
>> No. 15930 [Edit]
Have been on MDMA the last two nights. Starting to feel weird.
>> No. 15932 [Edit]
Did you like K-On! movie? I plan to watch it today.
>> No. 15933 [Edit]
I liked it. It wasn't anything fantastic, but it was K-On. An entertaining, easy watch with really likable music.
>> No. 15937 [Edit]
Spent the last four or five hours getting the rust off of my scripting skills.
All for the noble purpose of making a script to put in order the pages of two doujins I downloaded.
>> No. 15940 [Edit]
Apparently today is friend's day, so my sister is gathering a whole lot of people in my house.
Getting ready to hole up in my room without making a noise.
>> No. 15942 [Edit]
Woke up real early with a bad headache that I walked off, and ran into someone again that I met from /jp/ earlier this week, who lives near by. Sat around the rest of the day cleaning, IRCing, and then wrote some more ramblings about phenomenology and its relation to modernist and post-modernist contexts, mostly for my university admission. Going to spend the rest of the evening playing VNs until I fall asleep.
>> No. 15943 [Edit]
Got very stressed out and emotional for some reason this morning after watching the K-On! movie so I went to wander around outside. Woke up someplace weird again. After I got home, I read some papers on Western new religious movements and attacks against materialism. I've been thinking about postmodernity a bit lately and how its ideas could be combined with some form of traditionalism. Other people are desperately in need of premodern though, I think; or perhaps they only think they do because fragments of it persist within our society... we don't need to move past modernity, we need to recreate it.

I've also been reading about a game called Nomic (http://www.earlham.edu/~peters/writing/nomic.htm#intro). I think that it'd be fun to play that here; if anyone else is interested, I'll make a thread! Ideal number would be 4 people, and we'd probably need to use a tripcode (though a name's not necessary). I don't really know how to play it but I think it'd be fun to try out.
>> No. 15948 [Edit]
File 134283741836.jpg - (133.88KB , 371x416 , O R U.jpg )
>[K-ON movie boosted his melancholy]
>[he's so losing it]
>[keeps trying to mend/divert it with post-academic lunacy (hypermodernity VS neoluddism)]

Hi. You're not alone.
>> No. 15949 [Edit]
Went to the dentist today. It was a different practice from the one my family has been using for the last few years, so I was nervous about dealing with unfamiliar people. Thankfully, they were nice.

Ate some chinese food and slept.
>> No. 15950 [Edit]

Damn, now I'm worried watching the K-on movie is going to make me angry and depressed.
>> No. 15951 [Edit]
>Madoka movie
Damn, Japan: stop giving me these petty reasons to live. I want to follow the truth of Silenus.
>> No. 15953 [Edit]
Hypermodernity is pretty legit
>> No. 15957 [Edit]
Did cocaine, watched some hypocritical person I once knew slip further away from reality, played 2hu with my sister which I lost repeatedly, then woke up outside. Not sure how I got there...must have gone for a walk somewhere and forgot. Really weird.
>> No. 15961 [Edit]
Got really drunk and watched K-On!! (second season). Looked at lame websites online and went out for a long walk, had a good time. Haven't been able to sleep again (been up for 24+ hours)... but it's interesting, how it affects the mind. I'm sure I'll feel really awesome after a long night's rest.

Also found out that there's another diabetic hikki roughly in my area, and she's about my age. It's weird how many otakus you meet with type one, I don't know any with type two even though a popular image of an otaku is the fat neckbeard or whatever. Maybe I just look out for them more, but this makes five other diabetics I know... it's comforting, at least.
>> No. 15965 [Edit]
How did you find this other hikki?
>> No. 15966 [Edit]
Stayed up all night thinking and wandering around the streets, trying to once and for all forget someone from my past, and to annul some vivid hallucinations I kept getting.

In the morning I had to meet with a sibling I never knew I had until a couple months ago, to take care of my parents funeral. It was the first time we met so it was really weird. At least those fucking pieces of disgusting trash are finally dead and rotting away. I've waited my entire life for this moment.

Finally opened I package I got from someone; it had tea and home made cookies. Also bought some games on Steam too, and had one gifted to me. I can't wait to play them. Life is good! (・∀・ )
>> No. 15967 [Edit]
Finally got around to emailing some people I fell out of contact with about being references for a security clearance. This situation is doubly unpleasant: I have to figure out who I can put down out of the very few people I know/knew in any capacity for each stupid thing they ask, then I have to contact them out of the blue. I wish I was a rock or the sky.
>> No. 15969 [Edit]
Im not >>19561 but I met this really shy girl once a college doodling and drawing stuff and I talked to her often every day when we met. That s how we hung out with each other for a while. She introduced me to homestuck. This was like 2010 I think before the fanbase hit /tg/, imageboards in general or aniem cons.
>> No. 15972 [Edit]
the dry skin on my foot has cracked and now moving my toe at all is torture. why
>> No. 15973 [Edit]
I'm a former active 9/11 truther (fell out with most of the 'scene' but still talk to some); and yeah there's some weird conspiracy theory shit out there. For a period of time when I was younger I read the UFO and other textfiles on former TOTSE, rense.com and infowars and related shit. Apparently there's more new conspiracy forums like the Haruhilikeproductions forum which I sometimes post on. I remember back in the day when only abovetopsecret was the main conspiracy forum and before infowars had comments allowed.
>> No. 15975 [Edit]
It pisses me off how people lump together all conspiracies together, no matter how plausible or nutty some might be.
This is how the government is able to get away with anything they want, anyone who questions anything gets called a conspiracy theories and written off as a wacko.
There is overwhelming pfoff to support the idea that 9/11 was a inside job, it's idiotic and insulting to mix in anyone who says so with people who think lizard people are trying to take over the world.
>> No. 15976 [Edit]
kinda entering political discussion territory here, please stop
>> No. 15977 [Edit]
This is kind of derailing from the thread premise. Conspiracy threads may be suited to /mt/ or something.
>> No. 15978 [Edit]
Go away, discussing politics is what keeps democracy strong.
>> No. 15980 [Edit]
But we're aristocrats...
>> No. 15981 [Edit]
I'd say we're lumpenproletarians.
>> No. 15982 [Edit]
File 134302043556.png - (176.60KB , 400x400 , 1340954387368.png )
>another diabetic hikki

Actually, I'm taking some tests this morning, to check for levels of uric acid in my body. I was relatively well for a couple years; but last month I started again with polyuria (over 8 times/night), madding itch/burning in my heels/tarsals and a few days of acute renal and joint pain. I finally decided to Google about it and the possibility of it being Gout got me quite nervous. We'll see what happens.
>> No. 15983 [Edit]
Marx didn't like those either.
>> No. 15985 [Edit]
I took a bunch of sleeping pills and slept for a while.

I think I'll go back to bed.
>> No. 15986 [Edit]
I finished all the available chapters of Kimi ni Todoke on a manga website. Fed the cats and cleaned the litter box because my mother is on vacation, and rode my bike to my dad's house to eat dinner.

I got a little bit of the online homework done for my calculus class, finished off the Azumanga Daioh anime, and played some Diablo. Now I really need to go to bed so I can get more calculus homework done before class starts.

Nice lazy Sunday
>> No. 15989 [Edit]
File 134309298822.jpg - (48.46KB , 500x500 , heavens-divide-cover.jpg )
Pier Paolo Pasolini loved us.
>> No. 15990 [Edit]
I'm very nervous. If only I didn't have such a warped self-image of myself. I'm going to be spending time at a stranger's house, and I just know I'll somehow fuck things up.

Sounds pleasant, Anon!
>> No. 15991 [Edit]
went out to do some sprinting, park was full of disgusting people playing sports and whatever else while making a shitload of noise. I need to find a better place to run. Spent the rest of the day playing Genius of Sappheiros, i really like this game.
>> No. 15992 [Edit]
It's because of summer. Summer is the worst. Around this time I like to start listening to music that reminds me of winter (like The Nutcracker, which I went to see as a kid every Christmas) and read about places like the far polar regions of the world. Sadly, I live in shit city as far as that goes. Loads of idiot fucks around here who enjoy the hot weather and go out and be loud.
>> No. 15993 [Edit]
Spent the morning sitting beside a river writing. The application requirements for the Ph.D programme at this school are quite long, but whatever - I have a couple months to do it. It's already longer than they accept, so I'll have to shorten it down another time. Later, got talked into accepting the idea of a roommate to live at my place for 3-4 months due to money problems. At least they're an otaku and, funny enough, does stuff on 4shit, so there are some similar interests. They have one really big manga collection too, which I can't wait to check out.

Feeling tired, so I'll just play Battlefront 2 the rest of the night.

Post edited on 23rd Jul 2012, 9:24pm
>> No. 15996 [Edit]
Actually it's winter here right now, though it has been warm lately. The pieces of shit here are noisy regardless if it's freezing or scorchingly hot outisde, so it don't matter much the season.
>> No. 15997 [Edit]
I tried tagging all my images so they are easier to find, but in the end I decided it was too much work and only got about 1% done.
>> No. 15998 [Edit]
I've thought about doing that too but that's an OCD pandoras box that I'm not even gonna try to open
>> No. 15999 [Edit]
Today I replaced the laptop keyboard which I broke. I added more RAM while I was at it, too. I found my Nook and added a bunch of literary criticism ebooks to it, with a focus on post-structuralism. I thought about dogmatic thought and its role in philosophy. Some dogmatic thought (such as Wittgenstein's Tractatus) appeals very strongly to me, while others (such as Evola's Men Among the Ruins" turn me off quite a bit. I believe that to an extant, all philosophy is dogmatic; but it's a term that you don't frequently see associated with philosophy so I really find it rather bewildering as I think about it more.

Good luck, man. Diabetes is a really shitty condition, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Us type ones can eat junk food and drink soda with it, but for things with many carbs, it's a pain getting all the insulin in (if you use small needles) and it's also a pain if you stop being hungry half way through your meal. It's also annoying trying to guess how many carbs are in a food... Guess too many and you'll get hypoglycemic, with the risk of coma or brain damage. My friend told me about how once almost died from that.

Guess too few and you'll get hyperglycemia which is also a pain but not immediately deadly. One common misconception about diabetes is that you take insulin based on the amount of sugar you take -- in actuality, it's based on your carbohydrate intake. Insulin is taken in a fixed ratio to carbohydrates; that means that even if you want to eat bread or pasta (foods which tend to have NO sugar), you'll need to take shots.

Things like meat or diet soda or alcohol are pretty much "free" though, you don't need to take shots for the first two because they have no carbohydrates or for the latter because it just does weird things with your sugar levels. I recommend against getting too drunk, though, since it feels a lot like low blood sugars. You could black out drunk with a low blood sugar and get in serious problems with it.

On the topic of diabetes I talked more with my diabetic friend about the topic of meeting. I've never met a diabetic with an insulin pump (I use needles and I'm happy with them!), so I'll learn more about the condition, if nothing else. My friend's been a diabetic since the age of four years; I can't imagine how awful that'd be. I feel like my encounters with death and the amount of care for my body that the condition requires have made me appreciate life a lot more. What's kind of funny about the person is that they're also a 2D con, with a bunch of H manga and doujins and eroge. I kind of hope I'd get to see it...

There's a place where some posters from certain imageboards and forums communicate. There aren't very many hikkis there though... It wasn't Gaia or 4shit or anything like that.

I find it really intriguing how Marxist thought blends premodernity with postmodernity while straying completely from modernistic beliefs. I've been reading a lot of it on my recovered nook and really enjoying myself.
>> No. 16002 [Edit]
Took some Lorazepam at about 3am for anxiety. Slept for a bit. Woke up...slept some more. Woke up...slept some more. Woke up, but by now it was nearly midnight, so I took another pill and I am waiting for sleep

I enjoy lazy days, but not the ones were you just sleep. The most productive thing I did was dust my library room.

That latter bit has me thinking: for those of you with lots of books (manga and LNs acceptable) do you bother to organize them in any way? By genre, author, or whatever? Mine just sit wherever there is room on the shelves or floors because I have so many.
>> No. 16003 [Edit]
I have a lot of books, and I tend to sort non-fiction by type of book (branch of study, date work was published, and finally by author). Most of my non-fiction falls under philosophy or religion so such sorting is very easy to do. As for fiction, I just sort them by author's alphabetical last name. With my manga, I sort that by series name, and for personal journals, I arrange them more or less by date finished.

Why not use the Dewey Decimal System or the American Library of Congress's sorting method if you have too many books to easily sort them with your own method? Dewey's system is very easy to use and it makes a lot of sense, and you should be used to it if your school system used it (most people I know have).

Here's the LoC's classification system, if you're interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_of_Congress_Classification#The_system

And for the DDC: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dewey_Decimal_Classification#Classes_listed

It's wonderful that you have many books! I thought I was the only one on here that was a bibliophile. Have you been reading anything good lately, Anonymous? I've been looking through Guénon's "The Crisis of the Modern World" and enjoying it quite a bit. A friend of mine's been luring me into the world of traditional thought, it's very intriguing... If you haven't, you should read Mysticism and Logic by a man named Russell. Anything by him is a fun read, but that's in the public domain so it's free!
>> No. 16005 [Edit]

I think I'll try this "Dewey Decimal Classification" system.

That can be my project for the day.
>> No. 16011 [Edit]
File 134329011157.jpg - (22.13KB , 225x350 , 84001.jpg )
Until a moment ago, I heartly believed today was tuesday...
Where did my life go?
>> No. 16012 [Edit]
I also go through days/weeks thinking that it is some day and not fully knowing/caring what day I am in.

The only reason I didn't go through that this week is because yesterday was Jump day and I was anticipating Jump day because I was bored and had nothing better to do.

Post edited on 26th Jul 2012, 5:26am
>> No. 16016 [Edit]
The A on my A key has entirely rubbed off, with my S and D keys not far behind. Now my parents will never be able to use my computer
>> No. 16020 [Edit]
Its my birthday today. I got some money from relatives that don't know how much of a loser I am, so I might use it to upgrade my computer or buy some figures.
>> No. 16021 [Edit]
I got a fig in the mail, and played some video games with my sister. Lazy rainy days are great.
>> No. 16023 [Edit]
I saw a forklift with a giant inflated pikachu on top of it today.
>> No. 16024 [Edit]
I am applying for a job to supervise a summer camp for kids. I used my friends as 'contacts' - one guy in Latvia, one in Tennessee and one close to where I live. They don't know these are people I largely know off forums and whatnot. They. Will allow cooking, bringing outside food and media. So I can show them anime and whatnot. Hopefully I get it.Lolisand Shota can't be THAT annoying? Right?

Wouldn't surprise me if a woman gets the damn job though. I'm hoping not but I only saw one dude there working. Oh well....
>> No. 16025 [Edit]
Children are Haruhidamn awful. You might as well have applied to work in hell itself
>> No. 16026 [Edit]
I want to apply at Hell, the last guy who worked there got fired
>> No. 16027 [Edit]
Happy Birthday!

That sounds pretty cool.

Real 3D children are the most cruel creatures on this shit hole of a planet. If you don't want to feel regret for being there or want to feel like killing yourself, you're better off being the Janitor of some mall or something. I understand that there isn't a 100% chance of being accurate, but mostly garbage procreate and when they do they don't take care of or teach their children anything since they don't give a shit. They'll all be saying "curse" words and spouting the meme's that you'd find on websites normals go to, and other stupid, painful shit.
>> No. 16028 [Edit]
File 134334825617.jpg - (171.60KB , 1920x1080 , ichiroku puns.jpg )
>> No. 16029 [Edit]
Today I feel particularly sad. Just generic existential angst bullshit and inability to find enjoyment in anything.
>> No. 16030 [Edit]
I'm doing the same thing, except I started reading Boys on the Run after putting it off for a long while and I've had terrible things stuck in my head for a long while now.
>> No. 16031 [Edit]
Pretty much this. Today I went out to eat and there was a family in front of me, and they had two kids. The oldest one kept talking loudly and seemed pretty rude, even to her parents, but the youngest one looked very shy and was very embarassed when the waitress started chitchatting with her, and said thank you (actually, merci) whem she was served (the others did not). I don't know, maybe not all kids are as awful and irritating as I think.
>> No. 16032 [Edit]
Not all kids are awful and irritating. I've been working as a tutor, and I've had to teach some younger kids (well, middle school age) and they're not so bad. Energetic, to be sure, and they get bored with the material, but they do what I tell them. A couple are like that quiet girl you mentioned.

These particular kids are really smart, though, at least for their age. The average kid is probably not quite so tolerable.
>> No. 16039 [Edit]
I worked with children before and it was a terrible experience, every second I spent with them I wanted to kill these little shits.

I wish you luck, because you will need it.
>> No. 16041 [Edit]
I'm an uncle now. Hoo, boy.
>> No. 16049 [Edit]
File 134338314038.jpg - (35.25KB , 390x550 , loli oo.jpg )
>[handling children]

There's this little stuff I do at home and get some payment for. However, the boss's birthday came along and he announced that he expected us all coworkers at his house the next saturday, to celebrate with him (so I'd better go). I thought it would be hard, with all those people there drinking and laughing and talking shit I had no intention to contribute on; but, like heaven sent, my boss's pretty little daughter, around 5 years old, somehow grew fond of me from the first moment and clung to me the entire while, showing me her drawings, stuffed animals and ballet books, withdrawing me from almost anyone else in the place and, very happily and specifically, from any other woman...

So, thanks to the loli, I could both endure the party and leave a good impression at everyone, as they admittedly acknowledged me as "good with kids". This was all, of course, thanks to her being actually cute (though kind'a nuts, at the end) and my being very civil about it.
>> No. 16053 [Edit]

Yeah I am expecting the children to be a bit annoying; as I remember that time when I was younger. I.e. classmates saying I was eating a dick because I was eating a banana. I admittedly LOLed at that. Thi will be fun.

They are like 10 to 13 years old (ppl at the job) and I used to judge policy debate tournaments - But they were teenagers and middle schoolers. And I was 21 when judging them I.e. not much older.

Honestly cursing and spouting memes doesn't bother me much. Depending on what happens I might let them wrestle each other without interference and shit if I can get away with it (I.e. don't get fired).

Anyway I'm doubting these kids will all spout net memes these kids are kind've ghetto - but fuck I've seen ghetto people and people from the hood at anime cons and wearing weeaboo shit so meh.
>> No. 16055 [Edit]
How was your boss's loli crazy? Is she like Yangire following you around stalking threatening to kill you? Just wondering. Also why was it good that you were kept away from other 3DPD? Are they after you or something?
>> No. 16059 [Edit]

I've been an uncle for the better part of a decade. It's OK, but I feel like crap when I can't buy them birthday or christmas presents due to being a neet and having no money.
>> No. 16060 [Edit]
I got a haircut today, the hairdresser said I have beautiful hair. This kind of thing makes me really, really uncomfortable.
>> No. 16061 [Edit]
I cut my hair today too. Showering after a haircut, especially after letting it get really long, feels so good.
>> No. 16062 [Edit]
What a coincidence, today I had my hair cut too!
>> No. 16063 [Edit]
I think I caught a bug/cold from using a bank machine today.

Public places are so disgusting.
>> No. 16064 [Edit]
Wrote. Got drunk at 9 am. Passed out. Sobering up. Writing again.
>> No. 16084 [Edit]
Spent most of the day watching random videos on Youtube. Highlights included Street Fighter - The Annotated Series which made me laugh my ass off.
>> No. 16086 [Edit]
You're living the dream.
>> No. 16087 [Edit]
I sat in bed sick most of the day writing about Hinduism. It's such an interesting religion. Felt better after a few hours, and finally opened a fig I got earlier in the week. Later on I bought just under 90 dollars in books that I didn't really need right now and played Breath of Fire 2 on GBA.
>> No. 16090 [Edit]
I watched a movie called Left Handed today. I guess I would recommend it as a movie in general. It does better to depict the surroundings of the situation than most other movies about the subject do.
>> No. 16091 [Edit]
What subject? Left-handedness?
>> No. 16092 [Edit]
are there a lot of movies about left handedness
>> No. 16093 [Edit]
Ordered a bunch of books on Deconstructionism. Damn, they were fucking expensive.
>> No. 16094 [Edit]
You mean Derrida?
>> No. 16095 [Edit]
I bought some of his writings, but no, I can't say I bought any books ON Derrida - unless you consider his thoughts on the pages to be of he, himself.
>> No. 16099 [Edit]
File 134369078915.jpg - (137.33KB , 500x417 , 00.jpg )
Woke up early, read a bit of manga and organized some books. Watched Yuru Yuri and got bored. In the afternoon, I took a handful of Ativan and went to my old university and bugged a music professor I know & asked if I could play around on a piano. I've been considering some of the best musicians were deaf, why stop what I like to do? So I spent a couple hours playing Totentanz for piano solo by Franz Liszt over and over solely by memory and watching the hammers/dampers. Apparently I can still play all right, but there are some issues with the pressure velocity and thus loudness of some notes.

Finishing up Juuni Kokuki now and repairing MySQL databases.
>> No. 16105 [Edit]
I went to the local library, and borrowed the 1910 edition of Principia Mathematica. The library is otherwise quite ill-equipped, so this was a surprising finding.
>> No. 16107 [Edit]
Russell's? I wanted it for a while; then I stopped caring...
Best of luck with it.
>> No. 16108 [Edit]

That's a great book. It got me into Russell.

1910 edition...that's cool.
>> No. 16109 [Edit]
It's a great book for men. Math and logic is what makes us, us, after all.
>> No. 16110 [Edit]
File 134377095158.jpg - (16.50KB , 500x375 , google-music.jpg )
Wanted to test Google Music so I used a proxy and signed up for the service. Uploading my first HDD with approximately 10.000 songs (256 songs upload rate in 4 hours) it will take a while.
>> No. 16111 [Edit]

Post some impressions later, I'm kinda curious.
>> No. 16117 [Edit]
File 134382244672.jpg - (345.60KB , 628x885 , bad bird.jpg )
It's my 18th birthday!

I'm gonna go legally buy some cigarettes and DXM later today. Haha! I'm so fucking cool! Ha... ha...
>> No. 16121 [Edit]
Eh... happy birthday.
>> No. 16122 [Edit]
Happy birthday. Relax and enjoy yourself.
>> No. 16123 [Edit]
Happy birthday
Don't fuck yourself too much
Or maybe do, if that's what you want.
>> No. 16124 [Edit]
Happy Birthday.
>> No. 16129 [Edit]
I got a pizza from a place that opened up around here recently, it was pretty good. I'm a really picky eater but I like trying out new kinds of food I like.
>> No. 16130 [Edit]
Happy birthday, bro.
>> No. 16131 [Edit]
Went out to eat sushi with my family.
Turns out I hate sushi.
>> No. 16133 [Edit]
Played some strategy game and downloaded a bunch of custom maps for it. Worked on a short paper I was writing about fascism. Kept hearing awful voices in my head all day that didn't stop until I did what they wanted. Read "Dialogue on the Soul" by Aelred of Rievaulx.

Post edited on 1st Aug 2012, 7:28pm
>> No. 16135 [Edit]
Finally mustered the willpower to play some games on the pc, too bad I failed at them all. Went out because needed to buy food and water. Got angry because my neighboor is a noisy piece of shit.

The whole week I've been feeling like my heart about to burst and half of my lungs are torn apart.
>> No. 16147 [Edit]

I went out to eat with family for dinner as celebration. Sometime, I think maybe thirty minutes before we left, I began to enter a state of psychosis. About two hours later I found myself in bed with a bad headache. I think that I saw my family and I think I left sometime in the middle, but other than the fact that I left, I can't recall anything else. I'm not a psychologist, but the best I can describe my mental state would have been as being "psychotic." I remember losing myself in daydreams. It's very hard to describe, but it's like dropping out of reality into your imagination. Rather than having the things you see around you forced into your visual field, and the things in your mind's eye barely visible, existing underneath your perception fo reality, if that makes sense, the things in my imagination became much more powerful than what I could see. I knew that it wasn't real, but my actions must have been unconscious. In my bed I had some spare change and there was an empty water bottle on my floor, so I think I bought that. A while later, after I think he arrived home, I asked my father how dinner was. He said it went great but he wondered why I left. "I dunno," I told him. "Do you really not remember? Were you just nervous, maybe?" No, I can't remember anything at all. "Were you on drugs?" The scary part, I think, was that I wasn't on any at all. My blood sugar levels were also normal before I left and when I returned, so I don't think it had anything to do with that. I've had several episodes like this before, but as I haven't been leaving my room, there's been no harm to me and no one else has been affected by it.

Jeepers. I can't remember who even went, and it was my own damn party.
>> No. 16154 [Edit]

If it's psychosis, it warrants some concern. It can be really dangerous if you begin to experience delirious periods with little to no recollection of it. Maybe talk to a doctor?
>> No. 16169 [Edit]
Went to my endocrinologist and got my A1C checked. It was a 6, which the doctor said was the best score diabetics should have. I'm keeping great care of my diabetes! The doctor also made an appointment for me to get an insulin pump. It'll be fun to be a cyborg.

My dad said he'd buy me some books so I got him to buy me a 4 volume set of Joseph Campbell's "Masks of Haruhi," Sherwood Anderson's "Winesburg, Ohio," Rene Guenon's "The Crisis of the Modern World," and George Berkeley's works. I also got a text on literary criticism from Ihab Hassan. Really been enjoying Winesburg, Ohio. I'll probably read Campbell next because I've been really interested in religion lately. We went out to sushi after we got books and that was nice.
>> No. 16171 [Edit]
That filter never fails to amuse me.
>> No. 16177 [Edit]
Today I had an early doctors appointment which left me pissed off. After, I read a little Averroes, worked on a painting then played Macross Ace Frontier with my sister.

Got more medication, but my illness seems to be intensifying again. I'm seeing people that don't exist, and hearing voices that demand I do awful things to myself if I am to be offered any respite. The sick thing is they don't give it to me - but I can't say no to them. I don't know what to do.

Going to screw around with Red Alert multiplayer for the rest of the night.
>> No. 16179 [Edit]
Went to a person's house to prepare my program since I'll soon have a recital in their piano. They had two floors, a gorgeous daughter and a 2/4 tail Fritz Dobbert. It was very awkward since I felt plebian in such an ambient.
>> No. 16182 [Edit]
Today I went out and did some very stupid things, which I regret immensely and will probably obsess over for the next few months. But I also feel more lighthearted than I have in a long time. It feels good to have something to be genuinely ashamed about, as opposed to the "toxic", recurrent, basic shame I feel every day.
>> No. 16184 [Edit]
Today I read and daydreamed. It'd be nice if I could do that forever. I've been trying to see if there are ways I can induce "total hallucination" in myself (thinking about unpleasant memories, spending time outside, sitting in the complete darkness [my fear]), but I can't seem to figure it out. If I knew what caused them, I might also know how to prevent them. I've been thinking it was stress, but that's not it... and I've been eating and sleeping and drinking water like normal, so that's probably not be it, either.

3DPD! You can't let yourself find it beautiful! It's just an illusion! True beauty can only be 2dimensional!
>> No. 16185 [Edit]
I know how you feel. It's nice to simply feel like you are just a dumbass instead of having to deal with more caustic self-loathing.
>> No. 16192 [Edit]
My city is being surrounded by grassfires ( ´Д`)
>> No. 16193 [Edit]
So hot here today. I'm melting!!!
>> No. 16196 [Edit]
File 134412621832.jpg - (14.38KB , 178x250 , 20080806235729.jpg )
I made my laundry (mostly underware, a couple t-shirts and pijamas). Next two months: here we go.
>> No. 16197 [Edit]
Cooked dinner for the first time in a long while for my family. Turned out pretty well.
>> No. 16198 [Edit]
It was hot out, so my imouto and I left the city for the day and did stuff. Found some neet books from Xunzi at a used book shop in some small town. They're interesting, but basically just Confucian philosophy.
>> No. 16201 [Edit]
I take it you all live in the northern hemisphere, hence in summer...?
However, it is hot right here as well.
>> No. 16202 [Edit]
Its cold here in Australia. Stop stealing my warmth!
>> No. 16203 [Edit]
Apparently my pokemon does not have any Individual Value and was born a failure. Just like me.
>> No. 16204 [Edit]
Got stuck in the rain last night with my sister for at least 2 hours, so we got drunk in a park. There were some real cool lightning strikes. She suggested she buy me a real piano and would not let me refuse, so today we went shopping. I settled on a used Yamaha C3 Grand Piano. I have no clue how they plan on getting it in the building we live in but apparently it is no problem (coming this week). I can't wait to play it, regardless.

I've been reading this real cool VN I heard about yesterday, called Subarashiki Hibi: Furenzoku Sonzai. It's so far one of the best I've come across. The characters are all very interesting. Check it out - seriously!

Post edited on 5th Aug 2012, 10:24am
>> No. 16229 [Edit]
Got really drunk and played a bunch of Counter-Strike last night. Passed out, woke up a bit hungover. Pretty fun night.

Later on, in the evening, my sister wanted to take me out for a drive. She was kind of creeping me out because she kept squeezing my shoulder and rubbing my back and smiling at me. We stopped by a little store and she bought me a bunch of sweets (my father doesn't let me buy them for whatever reason) and told me she wanted to see me more. I hope she's not a brocon because people who fall in love with their family members are really mentally fucked up. One of my friends online was just telling me about how he knew a Japanese fujoshi who was fucking her brother, so I know it's a thing which happens... Really, really disturbing.

On the way back from our drive, she asked me if I wanted to smoke weed with her. I told her "maybe" to be polite. She thinks I've never used drugs or drank before, it's kind of adorable... Maybe I was reading too much into the stuff earlier, but I've lost a lot of respect for her after finding out that she's a stoner. But she has a nose ring and frequently has 3DPDs spend the night... they sometimes make lewd noises... ick.
>> No. 16230 [Edit]
I ordered some clothes on saturday for some odd reason and they came today. I was home alone but luckily it's one of those delivery companies that let you put in where you want the package leaving if nobodies home. Just had to go outside and fetch it without talking to the guy.

Then I went for a bike ride, 21 miles in 10 minutes less than I did my previous 20 miles. Feels pretty good.

Now I am going to go crash for 12 hours, have fun.
>> No. 16231 [Edit]
File 134425304274.jpg - (131.15KB , 1280x720 , 8987424.jpg )
>because people who fall in love with their family members are really mentally fucked up

Sora and Haruka would like a word with you.
>> No. 16233 [Edit]
2D != 3D

It's kind of like how being a lolicon doesn't make you a pedophile
>> No. 16251 [Edit]
Had a power outage earlier, which always scares me because I'm afraid it will mess my computer up or something even though I have a protector. Luckily it came back on within an hour, and not the three and a half they were estimating.
>> No. 16258 [Edit]
Today is my birthday!

19 years down the drain
>> No. 16259 [Edit]
Happy birthday dude.
>> No. 16260 [Edit]
Happy Birthday!
>> No. 16261 [Edit]
File 134437062331.jpg - (91.58KB , 600x450 , 598788.jpg )

Happy birthday!
>> No. 16262 [Edit]
My mother got really mad at me today for no real reason. Nothing says "I should really put a bullet in my head already" like having one of the only people in your life talk to you like garbage
>> No. 16263 [Edit]
Happy birthday, bro. Hope you enjoy your day to the fullest.
>> No. 16264 [Edit]
>> No. 16265 [Edit]
Congrats. Enjoy this days of celebration, even if you have nothing to celebrate
>> No. 16267 [Edit]
Today I did 32 miles. I ran out of water after about 14 miles, not good at all. Now my body hurts like hell and I'm going to sleep for as long as my body would like.

Have a nice day tohnos.
>> No. 16268 [Edit]
Went for an early morning walk, spent the rest of the morning on IRC. Helped someone I know move, then read a book (some Honoré de Balzac). Drank a bit of Scotch and had an early night.
>> No. 16275 [Edit]
I got some manga in the mail today and mostly read that all day. Fainted again and was out for who knows how long. Need food. Got a little bit of money from something and so I'm shopping for a fig but there is so much stuff I want, it's hard to choose.
>> No. 16281 [Edit]
Woke up with a sore throat. I hate this.
>> No. 16282 [Edit]
Thanks guys. Hearing it from so many of you made me feel good. Today I'll play starcraft and watch anime, but I'm not sure which series.

I hope my new headphones come in the mail today!
>> No. 16288 [Edit]
File 134456573223.jpg - (252.04KB , 1280x960 , 0809121711.jpg )
Well, it's Nagasaki day, I'll give you three guesses as to what this is.
>> No. 16290 [Edit]
a fire
>> No. 16291 [Edit]
File 134456724381.png - (226.89KB , 490x727 , why I am leaving asap.png )
It has a little to do with this.
>> No. 16292 [Edit]
No, no, no. It is a .jpg file that stores the image of a fire.
>> No. 16293 [Edit]
My first notion was that you were burning an American flag in that pot or something, but all I see poking out of the pot is a stick.

[edit]Oh wait, did you have to flee your house due to anti-Japanese sentiment, and are camping out? I recall you mentioning before that you had to put up with a lot of shit from relatives around the anniversary of Pearl Harbor.

Post edited on 9th Aug 2012, 9:16pm
>> No. 16294 [Edit]
Its so windy today. My garden shed fell apart and my eyes are itchy because dust kept flying into it.
>> No. 16297 [Edit]
I read a book called ``Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and found solidarity with the author's anti-normal sentiment. Began reading ``Gravity's Rainbow" and I've been enjoying it quite a bit. I also left the house today to buy some new shirts and pants... I don't usually enjoy clothes shopping, but I found it kind of fun. Marathonned an old show called Abenobashi Mahou Shoutengai and liked it.
>> No. 16302 [Edit]
I willed myself to go outside and check out a local festival in my town. Besides, I couldn't sleep.

On the way there, I had encountered two girls on one a side-street walking towards me, one of them about a head taller.

They see me and the big girl smiles at me and says hello.

3D being PD and all that, I just kept listening to my scifi audiobook and ignored while maintaining eye contact in spaced out sort of way.

Few seconds later, she says "Fuck you" and pushes me to the side as they walk on and laugh.

Real girls are weird.
>> No. 16303 [Edit]
>I just kept listening to my scifi audiobook and ignored while maintaining eye contact in spaced out sort of way

well to be fair nobody likes having someone stare at them. also not acknowledging someone if they say hi is pretty rude, though not enough to warrant their reaction

Post edited on 10th Aug 2012, 5:38pm
>> No. 16309 [Edit]
a lot of 3dpd are whores, especially with alcohol in them

this goes for females as well as males
>> No. 16313 [Edit]
This is why I always wear sunglasses when I go out, so people can't tell I'm not looking at them.
makes me look like a dick, especially at night, but who cares.
>> No. 16316 [Edit]
I wear them to be able to look at them, when necessary, without feeling exposed.
>> No. 16318 [Edit]
I wear them so people won't be able to recognize me in court.
>> No. 16319 [Edit]
I had to take a drug test to be considered for employment. I have a shy bladder.
I couldn't produce until I had drank enough water that I wanted to throw up. I started having chest pains and also fell asleep in the middle of the day from all the water fucking up my chemical balances and now I have a headache. Hopefully, I don't have any brain damage from brain-swelling.
>> No. 16320 [Edit]
I wanted to inspect an apartment but I stupidly missed my bus, even after I submitted an application. now I have to work another week before I can make any progress toward moving out of this shitty place
>> No. 16322 [Edit]
It was my sisters birthday yesterday. I had planned something neat, but a couple days of rain ruined it. Instead, I took her to a symphony, then we hung out at home all night and had a lot of fun.
>> No. 16330 [Edit]
I was walking down the street at around noon when some guy I was walking passed was like, "hey. you fuck pussy?"
"Uh, what?" I responded.
"I can hook you up with some, for some cash, you know, man."
"I don't have money to spend on that kind of thing."
"Whatever, you got a credit card?"
"No." (Also, what the fuck, why would I tell him if I had a credit card? I would assume you don't fucking buy hookers with a credit card.)
"Whatever, you got a cig, man?"
"No, sorry," as I started to walk away.
His farewell phase was, "man, you fucked up, Jimmy."

I really need to stop going outside.
>> No. 16332 [Edit]
The fucking worst people talk to you, especially in urban settings.

Toothless homeless people are the worst, I mean, they don't even make sense when they start talking, they just talk to talk.

Maybe they feel like they -need- to talk to people to stay sane, but sometimes I feel like I am the opposite, I need to stay away from strangers as much as possible.
>> No. 16333 [Edit]
I wonder how many parents see their child and think that is what they're gonna grow up to be like.

Oh who am I kidding, people like that probably had just as horrible parents.
>> No. 16337 [Edit]
File 134481216277.jpg - (136.14KB , 800x600 , axa2W.jpg )
My mom got me a USB dvd drive as a present, and I've been going through all my old disks looking for something interesting.
I found some videogames I used to love and had completely forgotten about, and a couple of shows that I burned about 6 years ago, but for some reason never bothered to watch.
>> No. 16338 [Edit]
I actually find it interesting to try to make sense out of the non-sense that the drunk bums on the streets say when they can over to talk. The only thing that annoys me is if they try to get close to me.
>> No. 16340 [Edit]
Not every homeless person out there is a dumb drunkard - you shouldn't generalize. Some of them choose to live such "nomadic" lifestyles.

This guy, for example, is a talented artist who takes it easy all day drinking coffee and drawing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNfuUPuaih4
>> No. 16342 [Edit]
I'd bet most of them have not chosen such ways of life and are actually just the victims of a flawed, self-destructive economic system. I did not call them stupid and most of them do drink. I base these arguments completely on my own opinion but I am almost sure they reflect reality.
>> No. 16344 [Edit]
Some stupid moose demon thing is kicking my ass! It's name is Bjorn and my normal team of monsters isn't enough to take it on. I also accidentally healed it when I used this weird spell that some old man taught me.

I give up.
>> No. 16345 [Edit]
File 134485031737.png - (136.39KB , 1079x1808 , goolgemuic.png )
it does what is supposed to do play music.
20000 songs was not much when I realized I had 45000 songs more on another harddrive. My advice would be to only upload specific certain albums you like and not a bunch of random albums like I did.
Google music feels also like the first time I used Itunes all music became unsorted from being sorted(songs with same name are put into one album and many other strange stuff like covers)
I have been spoiled by spotify(2008) and foobar.
But if you want to play music in your webbrowser it is perfectly fine and stable.
>> No. 16347 [Edit]
I actually prefer to talk with drunk hobos(the ones that don't try to rob me) than talk with normal people and hear them drag on about "muh gurls, muh jerbs and muh carz" and lame television shows.
>> No. 16348 [Edit]
Two days ago, there was a big parade in my town. For some reason I can't explain, I went and wandered around during it. I ended up settling down in a bookstore where I bought a copy of Schopenhauer's "World as Will and Idea," and I enjoyed reading that there. Idealism's been really appealing to me lately for some reason.

After I finished reading that and drinking a few teas, I left the woman in the store a tip of $20 which she seemed to really appreciate. They had nice chairs in the store and it was very quiet, and the service was nice... Then I made my way down to a local grocery store and picked up some cough syrup.

On the way home, I consumed 533mg of dextromethorphan (9 days worth of the stuff, according to the label!). It lasted for about 11 hours. Had a grand old time on that. I played some video games (Left4Dead on Easy mode, Killing Floor) and just had a blast. Wandered around in my house on it a bit too. When the drug started "peaking" as much as it really does, I just stared at my hand... then I went outside and just stared up at the stars. There's been shooting stars where I live which made it even more wonderful.

When the trip was nearly completely over, I went to Seattle with my family. The car ride was great, I just tuned them out completely and felt good riding around. They left me and I wandered around for a few hours. Had some Japanese food, played arcade games, rode around on the bus system, stopped by a bookstore. Got some more tea. I did surprisingly well; I didn't feel any anxiety or stress like I usually do when I'm outside of my room, and I wasn't tired at all, which was odd, considering I was up all night. I believe both of those strange effects resulted from my drug use.

I passed out in the car on the way home and slept for about 12 hours. I'm still pretty exhausted since by body's catching up to me... spending a lot of time outside, interacting with others, and going on mystery drug trips really wears you out. Today I'll probably just sit in bed and read Descartes and ponder more on Idealistic thought. Wow! I had such a great, amazing weekend! I can't believe how happy I've been, this is the best I've felt in... literally years!
>> No. 16350 [Edit]
My piano finally showed up, and I spent the morning cleaning up my flat to make room, and dug out my old compositions to read over them. Went out at lunch to find a tuner to hire, and to buy books which the clerk let me have for free (weird). Felt dizzy and went home, and worked on this Russian language play I've been doing that is vaguely based on Texhnolyze...or at least borrows its setting. To thank the person who bought me the piano, I took them out to dinner and had an ATM eat my bank card (fucking stupid thing).
>> No. 16351 [Edit]
My last wisdom tooth started coming in today. I figured most people have theirs by 16 or so, but I'm 20 and just now getting the last one.

Dammit, does it hurt or what. I can't breathe through my mouth, swallow, talk, or even listen to music without feeling pain in my mouth. Fortunately, my mouth seems big enough for the last three to have come in properly (i.e. not crooked and needing to be pulled), so I'm sure this one will too. Good thing, because I hate dentists and haven't seen one for eight years.
>> No. 16352 [Edit]
Mine came in fine too, and I haven't been to a dentist in about as long as you. He was always telling me he would need to pull them out too, guess he didn't know what he was talking about (or just wanted money)
>> No. 16355 [Edit]
So I've been considering going back to college and finishing my degree. I kind of want to learn more things, be an educated NEET and get away from my family.

Then I found out that most of the residential colleges have a 1GB per month data allowance. I think I'll stay cosy on Tohno-chan for the foreseeable future.
>> No. 16356 [Edit]
maybe see a dentist then? I went to the dentist for the first time in several years last week. the financial pain was the worst part.
>> No. 16357 [Edit]
1gb per month??? That would last any normal person a night or two..
>> No. 16358 [Edit]
had some windows updates today and one of them wouldn't install. Well, it would, but then it would keep bugging me that it's available as if I didn't download it at all. After doing this a few times I did a system restore to last week, installed all the updates again and....the same thing happened. I was really worried something would be wrong, but I looked it up and I guess a bunch of people are having this same problem.
>> No. 16360 [Edit]
Glad to see you are so happy. I miss feeling like that. Maybe one day I'll experience things like that again.
>> No. 16362 [Edit]
Have you tried this thing? http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows7/What-is-the-System-Update-Readiness-Tool

If you don't have Vista or newer, you might try this: One time, I was having a problem with Windows XP getting stuck when trying to download the updates, and renaming \WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\DataStore\DataStore.edb to something else fixed it.
>> No. 16363 [Edit]
Thanks, but it seems they fixed the problem already. Downloaded the update one last time last night and it never bothered me again
>> No. 16375 [Edit]
File 134513945236.jpg - (1.74MB , 2560x1600 , 1329014042091.jpg )
Packing my things in order to be ready to move out of my parent's house this weekend.

I'm nervous about it, but I feel that this just needs to be done.

1700 miles is a long way though.
>> No. 16376 [Edit]
I hope everything goes well for you.

Today I have been listening to the zun music collection cds, about to start ghostly field club now.
>> No. 16377 [Edit]
Good luck! I don't think I could ever move that far away from my family
>> No. 16378 [Edit]
Good luck! I hope that you don't end up somewhere you'll hate or meet people who'll try to make everything horrible for you.
>> No. 16379 [Edit]
Where are you going and how are you managing it all? You'll have to tell us about it when you come back.
>> No. 16381 [Edit]

Colorado, I hear it's nice. Even if it actually isn't at least it'll be something different, something new. I know somebody there, somebody that I can trust, that'll help me settle in. Should make things easier than just blindly moving out there. I wouldn't be traveling across the country otherwise.
>> No. 16387 [Edit]
My cat has been really sick lately, she is just skin and bones at this point. It hurts like hell to see her this way.

She has been with me for 6 years, I don't know what I'll do if I lose her.
>> No. 16394 [Edit]
I hope your cat gets better. The grieve of the loss of a close is sad.
>> No. 16395 [Edit]
Went to a baseball game with my dad. It was kind of interesting. Fireworks show at the end was nice. People at baseball games are strangely gregarious. The alcohol? Or is it just convention, like not talking to random strangers is convention in most other public places?

Also I found out I am two inches taller than I thought I was. Kinda weird, I always thought other people exaggerated my height but apparently not.
>> No. 16402 [Edit]
Seeding is suffering. How do people keep their ratio to a good amount without worrying that their next DL will drop it below 1.000?
>> No. 16405 [Edit]
I usually seed to 1.6~1.7 and that's enough to assure that my ratio never drops below 1.5, that on a shitty 33kB/s upload rate connection. Just by keeping the computer seeding when I'm sleeping.
Then again, over are the days when I dled a game a day and a few anime on the weekends.
>> No. 16409 [Edit]
I was drinking a bottle of chocolate milk earlier and I think I swallowed something that was in it. I'm hoping it was just ice and not some piece of plastic
>> No. 16410 [Edit]
My mum told me there was a job open at mcdonalds so I was filling in the application form on the website.
I was doing fine until the "What's your proudest accomplishment to date?"
At which point I completely broke down and started to cry because I realise I haven't really been proud of anything in my life.

After I calmed down I decided to put down learning to read and write when I was a kid..because without that I'd be completely screwed.

Then I had to write down a professional reference and have nobody to write.
>> No. 16411 [Edit]
I got back from a 3 day trip to Montreal, Quebec. It's as lame as it sounds though I guess I found it fun enough.

For no reason I feel terribly suicidal today, but it's okay, as I have Yuru Yuri to watch.
>> No. 16412 [Edit]
I noticed that I had a bit of swelling on my thigh that could've been from a bug bite or maybe some allergy. I've had it for a couple of days and decided to let it bleed out a bit by cutting it a little. I managed to put a small incision on it with my best knife, but as soon as I saw the blood coming out of me, I have no idea what happened, but I felt extremely nauseous and felt like vomiting. I felt a good deal of vertigo to the point where I lost my sense of direction for a few moments. My stomach was in pain and I couldn't do much except inhale and exhale as much as I could to calm myself.

I'm still not sure if it's the sight of blood itself or just the sight of my own blood that makes me weak, but I have no idea how I've come to be like this.

I am without a doubt a bigger failure than I could've ever imagined.
>> No. 16413 [Edit]
I just had a haircut for the first time in over a year. I was nervous as hell. The woman who used to cut my hair has left to have a baby which sucked - She's the only person I feel comfortable sitting in silence while she cuts my hair as I trust she knows what she's doing.

The 3dpd who cut my hair this time though, oh gees. Wearing a crop top, skin tight jeans or jeggings, fake tan and dyed black hair. Most of the time she had her tits in my face or digging into my back. I told her I wanted it short but then she cut it like a mid length womans haircut, then when I told her I wanted it shorter like shaved short she suddenly seemed really pissed off and didn't cut my hair very calmy.

Worse than playing a horrible game of dota for an hour and a half.
>> No. 16414 [Edit]
The voices in my head yelled at me to do some heroin and cut myself up quite a bit last night, so I listened to them. Kind of disappointed I did that, but at least I made it two months without doing it...that's something.
>> No. 16415 [Edit]
earlier some site asked me to open a pdf file out of the blue, so I closed my browser and checked my MSE and it had found 4 items. I removed them so hopefully I'm not infected
>> No. 16422 [Edit]
And surprise, it was for nothing. No calls or emails.

That's pretty fucked, man.

I recommend getting a buzzer and just doing it yourself.
>> No. 16423 [Edit]
But even giving yourself a buzzcut is difficult. Pretty much the only thing you could do is completely bald.
>> No. 16424 [Edit]
its not that hard, I've been doing it for years
>> No. 16433 [Edit]
it's not hard ! the secret is to do it slowly.

don't do that. you have to be strong !
>> No. 16446 [Edit]
I got my exam results from back in may/june back earlier. I did so bad, I can say goodbye to my dream of going to vet school after next year is up.
Came home and slept for a few hours, going to drown my sorrows later.
>> No. 16449 [Edit]
I got another Raspberry Pi in the mail today. In fact, I forgot I even ordered it. No idea what to do with it though...
>> No. 16454 [Edit]
File 134578372767.png - (81.93KB , 295x139 , summer 2012.png )

I cut my hair a week ago.
I hadn't do so for over the last 3 years.

I cut my own hair since I was 15. It's not that hard, indeed: you just need 2 mirrors. And however it has turned out, it always felt alright or liberating, in any case; because ruining/mutilating oneself in many ways it's usual, but giving someone else the chance to do it (and pay for it)? no way in hell.

Post edited on 23rd Aug 2012, 9:56pm
>> No. 16458 [Edit]
I started taking antidepressive meds yesterday.
I feel like a fucking maniac right now but let's how it goes
>> No. 16461 [Edit]
What do you mean by this? Do you feel really excited right now or something?
>> No. 16462 [Edit]
File 134584691065.jpg - (381.99KB , 1304x980 , mysteryhole.jpg )
Found a mysterious hole in the ground in my parents' front lawn. AFAIK there weren't any buildings there before that house was built, and it doesn't seem like a drain, being on a elevation.
>> No. 16468 [Edit]
It means that right now the meds are making me feel agitated and angry all the time.
>> No. 16469 [Edit]
I am so fucking depressed.
>> No. 16473 [Edit]
Hey, me too!
>> No. 16513 [Edit]
I got into an argument with my dad while I was helping him outside with some yard work. After I was finished, I was standing on the porch in the shade and suddenly he walks up to me and says "Why do you stand like that? You look like a robot, stand up normally."
Obviously, being the autist I am, I was and still am completely confused. I tried to fix my posture, but he just told me that if I continue to act the way I am, people are just going to make fun of me. For some reason, I was pretty hurt by that.

Now it really scares me to think of all the things I've been doing wrong and haven't even noticed. I don't think I ever want to go outside now...
>> No. 16514 [Edit]
Found out Neil Armstrong died. Hasn't been a very good week for Armstrongs!
>> No. 16515 [Edit]
Went to the bank to deposit a cheque, talked to a staff member about overdraft facilities available for post-grad students since I'm thinking about doing an MFA.

Browsed the internet for the rest of the day, reading up on all the DJs and producers who pioneered House music from the 80s and the like as well as listening to some of the music on Youtube.
>> No. 16518 [Edit]
Neighbors are having a party or something, car radios as loud as possible and they are smoking drugs out in the street like it's nothing. Why did things become this way
>> No. 16528 [Edit]
It's ok, your not alone there. I always don't know what to do with myself when people are watching me and look beyond awkward. It's the worst when I'm self conscious about it. I just discovered how bad it was to be self conscious today. I'm usually stimmed out of my mind on coffee for 2 days straight every weekend. I feel like shit but just more mentally numb, not so self aware shit. Today I didn't have anything and I went out later to a buffet. I felt like the whole world was watching me and every movement felt slower. Was also much more angered easily by everything around me. I can not be sober on a weekend, very embarrassing and uncomfortable things happen.
>> No. 16529 [Edit]

I know how you feel. I don't have autism or anything, but I feel like I'm a zoo attraction, with people staring at me like I'm exotic animal.
It's not like I'm ugly or some abomination either I guess they just enjoy pointing and laughing at my awkwardness and how uncomfortable I feel.
>> No. 16537 [Edit]
File 134598004279.jpg - (88.05KB , 298x308 , 1344578384546.jpg )
er, the bags were from electrical components I purchased for a project online, I really don't do drugs.

Post edited on 26th Aug 2012, 4:34am
>> No. 16546 [Edit]
Yeah when I'm out I am the definition of zoo animal when I'm out. I just look different or to people something is very off about me or I just give a strange vibe or something on top of never knowing what I should direct my eyes to, to appear normal enough so that people question me either. I try hard to not draw attention to myself. I also hate when there is a long walk to the exit door and a lot of people are looking at me. Then my movements become extremely fast and twitchy making me look even more disturbing to them. Some laugh, others give strange looks, kids point, staff is confused. It's a nightmare.
>> No. 16549 [Edit]
It makes me sad that this is the kind of society we live in. You do so much as look in another direction or walk differently from others and they jump on you for it.
>> No. 16552 [Edit]
I wrote all morning, spent the entire day out with my sister doing stuff, and bought a book on Go so I can once and for all finally start learning about it.
>> No. 16554 [Edit]
Managed to get lost on my way out west and ended up going north for a bit. Must've been looking at the road map upside down like I was in some old cartoon.

Actually, I went with my grandma to her lakeside house in Massachusetts to help her pack it up so she could move out and sell it. Figured I'd use it as an opportunity to get some things I might need for living on my own and maybe get some money from her to help with the trip.

Moving really is hard work, long work too.
>> No. 16569 [Edit]
Had an awful day. Did drugs and got beat up and yelled at for it. Read a little, and finally got my IRC bot running solely off a Raspberry Pi.
>> No. 16579 [Edit]
Disclaimer: I'm a NEET and I don't do any excercise whatsoever (in fact I never did). I'm pretty much a shut-in, too, I leave my house less than once a month. An occasional 20 minute walk to the library and I'm already out of breath and my legs hurt.

Spent 3 hours carrying some heavy building materials yesterday; we spent the first hour carrying 25kg bags with concrete to the top of a building which is 3 stories high. We still have some ~ 1,5t (60 or so bags) left to carry. Did it with my father who is in his late 50s, he looked fine to me. Embarassing as hell.

I'm 21 and at night the muscle cramps were so bad I could cry. Couldn't sleep at all even after stuffing myself with painkillers (well, not literally 'at all', eventually I did fall asleep). I expected to be unable to move today but it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. Still, I don't think I can carry more than 5 of those Haruhidamn bags. 25kg sounds okay and it's not so bad if you just have to walk with it but once you enter the staircase...
>> No. 16590 [Edit]
I didn't have work, so I helped my mother clean out some things. Did 3-4 hrs of work. She said she might keep some crystal cups etc. to give to me later, "after I get married", because "my wife might like them." I didn't say anything to that.
>> No. 16601 [Edit]
File 134622184676.png - (13.76KB , 387x332 , Hallelujah (L_ Cohen).png )
Actually, my day is about to finish. It's pitch dark where I live; all family sleeping. I ended the pencil study of a butterfly I had to do; I listened to a version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" by Susanna and the Magical Orchestra (which was surprisingly good: she included probably the best stanza of the entire poem); had a cigarrette outside and then remembered there's some Jack Daniel's they just found in the cupboard, from many years ago, and I had good shot...

I hadn't have a drink in ages. I hate drunkness, for ideological reasons; I just did it with the hope that it might help me dreaming with my waifu, as it has happened before. The thing is, I drank a 360 mL Red Bull first and, so, I got almost instantly drunk. I rush in heat, now; I can barely type...

Let's see what happens (likely nothing but oh well).
>> No. 16617 [Edit]
File 134625676784.jpg - (19.77KB , 250x249 , 34443-1345259351.jpg )
Today I listened to some C82 releases in the car with my dad.

He liked it.

He raised the volume for `tea for two`.

I explained who ZUN is.

He was impressed.
>> No. 16618 [Edit]
My father told me that when he was going to work the other night he saw a big black tarantula on the wall outside. I will never sleep again
>> No. 16637 [Edit]

Wrong thread, you're looking for >>521.
>> No. 16638 [Edit]
No no. You don't get that scared in a dream when vocals start.
>> No. 16641 [Edit]
I can't see why just about anyone wouldn't like at least some touhou centered music/doujin music in general. So many releases that there is something for fans of everything. You don't even need to actually be into touhou anything else to enjoy. I was listening to some psytrance tracks by this artist called Raveheavens last night with some other psytrance and I finished off my night with some heavy darkpsy by an artist called Tryambaka. It blends in quite well. We need more high quality doujin psytrance. Only other I can think of off the top of my head is some of EastNewSound's stuff. Fun music, I just like to blast it loud and play pc fps games all night to it. Maybe I'll even throw some drum and bass into the mix too. But most other times late at night playing pc games normally I'll just be listening to some average metal/metalcore or some quiet glitch music in the background.
>> No. 16642 [Edit]
My day started decent enough. Missed breakfast, so I went somewhere near my workplace to grab a croissant and coffee and did a little bit of people watching before I went to work. Felt bummed out after being told I probably won't be getting commission on art work being sold (I'm working as an intern for this gallery) despite my boss telling me otherwise but he's out of the country at the moment. Came home still feeling gloomy and my own mother even asked me if I was depressed but I didn't really want to give her an honest answer in case I'd get her into hysterics.
>> No. 16648 [Edit]
My mind has been lost the past few days, and everything is really confusing. Haven't done any of the things I normally do...I wonder how long it will last.
>> No. 16649 [Edit]
I feel like my mind has been lost, or least it is far away, in the past few days too but I don't feel confused. Everything feels hazy and things kinda mesh with each other. But I don't feel anything
>> No. 16652 [Edit]
I went through all day today thinking it was Thursday.
>> No. 16653 [Edit]
Took 150mg of Diphenhydramine, a drug used to treat colds. That's six days worth of the stuff -- I'm going to be healthy for a long time!!

(Editor's note: Shadow people! Let your presence be made clear.)
>> No. 16654 [Edit]
I believe you must take more than that to see spiders.
>> No. 16657 [Edit]
I don't 150-250 mg would do much at all to most people beyond a more relaxed state. You may get some visual effects but nothing major and unless you really want to go on a nightmare trip I don't recommend going much higher without someone to watch you. You just reminded me I want to give it a try also. I'm talking 200-250 low dose for just relaxing late at night on the internet and playing pc games.
>> No. 16661 [Edit]
I've been working on quitting drugs, and so far it is a terrible feeling. Aside from expected symptoms, it seems like my personality is changing, and I'm acting more and more distant. It's annoying people a lot. At least I have can marathon some shows this way.
>> No. 16664 [Edit]
Reading about that, the trip seems really unpleasant once you get to the delirium. Also, it sounds really hard to stay awake. Although, looking around, I didn't see any discussion of long-term damage as long as you don't do something stupid while hallucinating.
>> No. 16684 [Edit]
I went out for a walk in a local park and holy shit it was swarming with people. There was also a bunch of twats cosplaying there(who the hell cosplays in a public park?) which made the whole place even more uncomfortable.
>> No. 16685 [Edit]
You went too early.
>> No. 16688 [Edit]
A shitload of people cosplay in parks. Malls and other places too, for that matter. Local cosplay groups tend to meet up there.
>> No. 16690 [Edit]
I can't go too late because that's when the crackheads show up.

That was the first time I saw it. I thought people only did that at cons.
>> No. 16695 [Edit]
Why would you let cosplayers affect you on your park walk? You could've just pretended they were not there. I can't say I've ever seen cosplayers on a park, a mall or in front of convention buildings are the only place I've ever glanced at them. I wonder what is the joy of cosplaying in an open park.
>> No. 16696 [Edit]
Cosplayers and other people that think it's okay to do whatever they want in public are usually pretty shitty people, so they probably would've messed with him just to flex their nuts in front of the 3D bitch pigs to make themselves seem superior.
>> No. 16697 [Edit]
I was taking it specifically for the delirium. I was a bit tired when I took it already, but I was able to stay awake... and while they weren't very severe, I had some hallucinations. The next morning, when I awoke, I slipped into brief periods of delirium. Took a low dose just to see if there were a possibility I were allergic to it. After I had sobered up "enough" that day, I took 250mg, double the dose. I had to watch my house while we were having a garage sale and having to interact with people had me feeling very very nervous. Left me feeling really nasty to seemingly no more effect (possibly less, I felt!), but hey, it helped me deal with my anxiety some. I had a bit of a "body high" (felt a little bit like being drunk, but I wasn't much happier or sadder, my thoughts felt very clear). It most of all leaves you feeling thirsty with a gross taste in your mouth, can't say that enough. I plan on going 500mg this upcoming weekend... with 500mg of dextromethorphan as well.

Today I enjoyed sobriety as well as watching the finals of the big DOTA 2 tournament, "The International". If anyone here enjoys DOTA and didn't watch it, I recommend watching the old recordings on DOTA2's YouTube channel. Right now the third fight (of five) just ended -- really looking forward to these next two games! Go, Na'Vi!
>> No. 16698 [Edit]
oh you... I almost thought it was a new BB code.
>> No. 16699 [Edit]
It wouldn't be a bad tag regarding recent site controversy, would it? Ah... even if some people on here dislike drugs and alcohol, I consider my usage of the substances to be very much to be a part of my solitary shut-in otaku life.
>> No. 16701 [Edit]
what would it even do?
>> No. 16702 [Edit]
Make the text spin and change colour. Perhaps transform some words into pink 象 too.
>> No. 16705 [Edit]
Haha no. There's a gothic lolita group which has (weekly?) meetups at malls in my city and there is a half-ass anime convention which either does shoots around various landmarks in the city core & the park by the downtown, OR they do their meetups in a forest preserve.

>>so they probably would've messed with him just to flex their nuts in front of the 3D bitch pigs to make themselves seem superior.


I'm tempted to say more of 'shitty drama in the cosplay community' as well as 'queen bee bitch bullshit'. And do't forget "x stole my boyfriend, she's a slut" or "y is a creeper virgin" bullshit. Go browse /cgl/ to see wat I mean. But I haven't seen that IRL. Yet
>> No. 16707 [Edit]
>>If you haven't seen it, then how does that make me wrong?

You said cosplayers would be dicks to whip their dicks out and didnt say you personally experienced it (ie. "probably" was one of the words you used)

>> Pointing at some directory that probably only exists in 4chan isn't going to help your case. I have no intention of ever going to 4chan, especially just to understand your piss poor argument.

There are gothic lolita groups on livejournal, deviantart and shitbookas well. They tend to cross-pollinate anyway.

here. some links i pulled out of my ass (read: google):

>>Aside from trying to get me to go along with some sample group of shit, you have nothing to negate the possibility of what I said being true.

Seeing some drama/hearing from people/reading said things on forums > "They probably are the sort of people to do it"

>>Your failure to refute my claim is no more than a waste.

If you're being all serious and shit you have to prove the claim.
>> No. 16708 [Edit]
Today I read some really shitty posts in the daily report thread
>> No. 16712 [Edit]
I'm sorry. ;_;
>> No. 16715 [Edit]
I think it's awkward, seeing some blue-haired fucker making out with a ugly girl dressed a Kagamine Rin in the middle of a park .
And besides, it's not like they were the only ones bothering, I just found it weird to see cosplayers there.

I just wanted to relax and walk around the lake for a while, why must people ruin everything
>> No. 16716 [Edit]
I had to deal with a bunch of people at my place, which was terrible, so I hid out reading and trying to watch anime. Later on, after drinking a bit, I tried to hang myself, but I seemingly picked too weak a spot for it to work. Got beat up and yelled at really bad for doing that. Don't really know what to do anymore, but I guess there is not much I can do, such is life.
>> No. 16717 [Edit]
I got a book called Solitude by Anthony Storr from the library. When I opened it, I found that passages like "not all solitary people are unhappy" and "the capacity to be alone is also an aspect of emotional maturity" had stuff like "Of course!" and "Right, right!" written next to it, and in feminine handwriting. A quote by Edward Gibbon on how happy he was not to be married had little hearts drawn around it. It's nice to know that there are some people like you out there.
>> No. 16721 [Edit]
Just because you use spoilers it doesn't make your normal shit forcing acceptable.
>> No. 16723 [Edit]
File 134673822294.jpg - (154.94KB , 798x597 , 69-5.jpg )
>in feminine handwriting
That was the only weird part about your post...

Anyway: if I myself don't underline, make notes and/or compile quotes of whatever book I step into, for me it's like I hadn't read it at all.
>> No. 16726 [Edit]

I live in a small town so tons of books I borrow from the library have been used for decades; I think less and less people use libraries nowadays so every now and then I borrow a copy which hasn't been borrowed since the 90s. Feels pretty surreal when I find some notes in them, they have been written over a decade ago afterall...

But I don't like people who write/underline stuff in books, you should only do that if you absolutely need to and even then you should use a pencil and erase it before returning the book.
>> No. 16728 [Edit]
Been playing a lot of DOTA 2 today and having nice conversations with people. Spent a lot of the early day feeling a bit down, but things are alright now.

I don't get why people write in books either. If I really like a quote, I'll copy it, or if I like a few pages, or general ideas, I'll write them down in a notebook.

People who use drugs are a lot like otaku in many regards. Most relevant to our community being that they are split apart from "normal" society, whether by choice or apathetic disinterest.
>> No. 16749 [Edit]
I should have made it clear: I only underline and write on MY books; if they're borrowed, I indeed just take notes of them somewhere else (folded sheets of paper, more commonly)...

However: scribbling on books, for me, is fundamental for one to restructure and apropriatte of them, as it turns the initially plain text into a sort of relief map ad hoc for one's interpretation, needs and purposes. It's the only way for me to start incorporating them into a ready-at-hand acquis of knowledge; and it didn't just started as a whim of mine: I was taught to do so, in philosophy and text analysis courses. It isn't mandatory either, of course; the important thing, in any case, is to build an efficient system of notes to rely on.

Post edited on 4th Sep 2012, 5:57pm
>> No. 16764 [Edit]
File 134685679594.jpg - (340.70KB , 600x775 , 6c518e746488960a12d91769e8fd4c98.jpg )
Went to school today.
There's a girl who looks exactly like my waifu, I'm not sure what to think.
>> No. 16765 [Edit]
I like to find out notes on books that were used long ago. Almost nobody buys music sheet books nowadays, most people copy it out of the internet, so large editions are normally really cheap in used bookstores. I recently bought the sinfonias of Bach for harpsichord from one of them. The woman who owned this book must've been really good because all of the pieces have dates on the end of them from back to the 70s. I presume they were when she concluded studying each of them.
>> No. 16779 [Edit]
I went to my psychologist's today, but I was feeling so "out of it" that I left 20 minutes into the appointment. I saw really bad static on his walls, and I couldn't think at all. I kept glancing around and mumbling. He had a hard time understanding me, I think. He kept having me repeat myself and conversation was very difficult. "Don't worry about it, just go for a walk, and then go home and rest," he told me. After that I walked around outside and the colors were all so vivid. The sky was so blue, the grass was so green... It was awful, I just wanted to be in my room more than anything else. I saw a girl I'd spent some time with in high school on my way back home; she was pregnant now, and smoking a cigarette. "Hey," she goes, "we should hang out again sometime." We talked some about art and I guess that was kind of nice. But she isn't the type I could see at all past a brief hello on the street... I grabbed a copy of Hegel's Phenomenology of Spirit, Smullyan's First-Order Logic, and a compilation of texts in a volume titled "Man and Spirit: he Speculative Philosophers". I really hate abridged books, but it'll introduce me to some new texts, I suppose...

I bought a close friend of mine Dota 2 and we're going to play that some tonight. I'm looking forward to being able to teach someone how to play and having a new person to play with.

I'm still feeling really awful and distant and everything's very fuzzy and distant. I'm watching myself type this and my hands feel like theyre a thousand feet away, it's so bizarre. I'm completely sober today and I have been for a few days, so it's not like I'm high or drunk or anything.. it's so bizarre! And I'm disappointed that my psychologist couldn't do a single thing to help me with it, even though it's the reason I'm seeing him! May as well get some rest
>> No. 16780 [Edit]
buy her a shovel.
>> No. 16783 [Edit]
I did nothing, read some manga, slept, played video games for a little while and my parents made me apply for job seekers benefits
>> No. 16784 [Edit]
Or a steamroller.
>> No. 16789 [Edit]

I can almost imagine how he approaches her and gives her the shovel saying 'it's dangerous to go alone, take this'.
>> No. 16794 [Edit]
From what I remember, most of my day was spent sleeping. In the morning I played some Monster Hunter Tri and got quite far in it. Later on I got beat up again by the person I live with. For some reason or another, they are really violent toward me...but there is nothing I can really do about it. After that I took a bunch of sleeping pills, and went to hide in my library all night. Switched between napping, writing in my notebooks and reading a few Sherwood Anderson shorts from "Death In The Woods" until I lost focus, and then played more Monster Hunter until I fell asleep.
>> No. 16799 [Edit]
File 134696177748.png - (598.50KB , 4000x2000 , 1309073938785.png )
>> No. 16800 [Edit]
quiet you
>> No. 16808 [Edit]
A transformer or something exploded here in the afternoon and I spent most of the day without electricity.
I spent most of the time trying to explain to my sister that circles have areas and how you can aproximate them(through the regular polygon apothem method, the only one I sort of remembered). And holy fuck, seems schools are getting slower and slower, but not any better than they were in my time despite that.

Post edited on 6th Sep 2012, 4:52pm
>> No. 16811 [Edit]
Drove from Maryland to the eastern edge of Illinois today, despite my rocky yet fortunate start to my trip involving getting a flat tire in front of a mechanic's house. The mountains in Western Maryland and Pennslyvannia were nice, Ohio and Indiana were kind of uninteresting to drive through, everything looked the same.

Being in a different time zone is weird.
>> No. 16812 [Edit]
They changed the meter in front of my house from a dial readout to a digital one. The meter hasn't been changed since the trailer went up in 1960.

It took the guy five and a half seconds. The power went out for only that long. I was expecting an hour. Very skilled.

Going camping this weekend.
>> No. 16820 [Edit]
The wind started picking up and we got a power surge and a big tree limb down in the yard, for like the millionth time. How many limbs does this tree have?!
>> No. 16830 [Edit]
I give up in every fucking way.
>> No. 16834 [Edit]
I hope you give up on giving up eventually, even if it is just to have a chance to give up again.
>> No. 16842 [Edit]
Made it to Colorado last night. Staying in an Extended Suites hotel until I can find something more suitable to live in, the place I was looking at isn't available anymore. Felt good sleeping in a bed again after two nights in my car.

The change in altitude is messing with my sinuses.
>> No. 16846 [Edit]
ticks put your site back up please
>> No. 16852 [Edit]
File 134724291259.jpg - (156.90KB , 800x1039 , cute anime girl by the pool.jpg )
reading Spinoza's Ethics by the pool & relaxing after a stressful flight. this gin is really taking the edge off things

he said it'll be back up after our vacation

Post edited on 9th Sep 2012, 7:15pm
>> No. 16865 [Edit]
I have been constantly plagued by thoughts of suicide. Feels like I've finally given up.
>> No. 16866 [Edit]
playing a lot of dota and tweeting and reading
>> No. 16867 [Edit]
In case you were wondering who that 'cute anime girl' was, its Nanasaki Ai from Amagami.

Today I got 80 from guild wars, planned what I have to farm for my first exotic weapon, then I'm now going to sleep.
>> No. 16869 [Edit]
I started playing Minecraft using the Technic pack a few days ago. Today I found out that you can make computers and robots, and that they're completely programmable, which makes it a whole lot of fun.

I want a little robot now, just so I can program it.
>> No. 16870 [Edit]
I don't know why or how it happens, but I've noticed in the last few weeks a very strange phenomenon: I feel very depressed and "lifeless" all day but somehow as soon as midnight passes I feel much happier and energetic somehow, and my moods stays like this for the rest of the night. It's very unsettling because during the day I know I react to things in a strange way and witness myself acting illogically but I'm powerless to change it. And the same thing happens in the reverse direction during the night. It's also disturbing because my daily routine is the same, and my activities are also essentially the same whether it is 2 AM or PM. What's more I know it's not because of the light because I only go out about once a week to stock up on food, and the rest of the time I sit in the dark with the windows closed.

I'm starting to get used to it but I wonder what causes it.
>> No. 16872 [Edit]
So, it's been about two months or so since I have been on the internet last. Now that I have it back, I'm not even sure if it's what I really want.

But it's surely better to be on the internet, for sure. The term "introspective hell" doesn't even begin to describe where I was during that time.

Not being able to be online made life as a NEET seem definitely unappealing. I feel like I have probed into the deepest recesses of my mind. Now that I have I'm back online, it feels as though I have pulled a band-aid off of my soul. I feel genuinely disqualified as a human being, now. It feels completely alone and alienating and strange.
>> No. 16898 [Edit]
i have gone through that also. the worst thing that can happen to me is to be left alone with myself.
>> No. 16899 [Edit]

Whenever my parents go out it's generally 2 hours of me being happy I'm alone and masturbating and 5 hours of me thinking about how cool it would be if a truck came through my house and killed me.
>> No. 16903 [Edit]
"Hell is other people" -- Sartre
"Hell is yourself" -- Wittgenstein

I feel great at nighttime, too. I think it's just how I'm wired. Otherwise, I can suffer from varying amounts of derealization/depersonalization and anxiety.
>> No. 16907 [Edit]
I started reading Dostoyevsky's The Gambler, decided to put my Japanese "studies" in hiatus, masturbated, went out to cut my hair, then hid in my bed all day looking at cute lolis. Not a bad day.
>> No. 16909 [Edit]
I bought something that came in a really nice blue metal box. I love these kind of boxes, but I'm still not sure what to put inside of it. I'll see what I need to store in this box later today.
>> No. 16911 [Edit]
How is The Gambler? That's one of the few works of his I haven't read.

Yesterday, I read and wrote emails, went on a losing streak in DOTA 2, read and wrote some philosophy, and managed to more or less avoid contact with the outside world. Lots of thinking, lots of frustration.
>> No. 16917 [Edit]
Good book, I love Dostoyevsky works.
>> No. 16918 [Edit]
I made too much food and I ate too much, and now my tummy hurts!
>> No. 16919 [Edit]
File 134737707537.png - (275.09KB , 642x360 , kyousogiga_1.png )
Found out a friend's mother died from cancer.
Called him just now to give him my condolences.
He's in the middle of the funeral as I speak with him.
>> No. 16920 [Edit]

I didn't back any of it up before taking it down. Nor any of the other sites I hosted. Oops. I thought I had it set up to do that automatically, but I guess not.

I'll try to restore what I can from older backups.
>> No. 16921 [Edit]
Contemplated on calling a suicide hotline but then decided against it as I'm usually self-conscious talking over the phone, especially if I'm in a place where others are than likely to eavesdrop. I sent an email instead and eventually got a reply.
>> No. 16922 [Edit]
File 134738362638.jpg - (355.14KB , 850x1291 , sad schoolgirl with very pink fingernails.jpg )
oh no! will your goodreads be coming back at least
>> No. 16925 [Edit]
It's quite good, but I'm only about 80 pages in so far because I'm lazy. I found the arrival of the grandmother extremely amusing.
>> No. 16926 [Edit]
I met up with an old friend. It was very introspective. We talked about ye olden days and that we should flee to Norway.
>> No. 16927 [Edit]
I got pulled over for the first time in my life today. Thought it was because I was speeding in a school zone, but it was only because my car's inspection was overdue. Didn't help that I heard a siren as soon as I thought "wait, how fast was I going back there?"
>> No. 16933 [Edit]
I watched a certain Minister of Finances get his ass handed to him by a journalist. It was funny to see how he avoided the questions. Sometimes I feel like anarchy might be a good solution.
>> No. 16938 [Edit]
Gotta start working again.
>> No. 16943 [Edit]
I just had a moment where I was glad that my mom thought of me as a retard.

Haruhi damn it, why can't I do anything right.
>> No. 16944 [Edit]
Got drunk yesterday and watched Good Burger, played some DOTA 2, then watched Little Shop of Horrors. Talked with Shii about a lot of Internet things
>> No. 16945 [Edit]
It's 15:22 and I just got out of bed. Time to read, play go, hate myself, and go back to sleep.
>> No. 16948 [Edit]
Had some problems with my internet connection today and got bored doing nothing, so I decided to do something different for once and spent the day sharpening and cleaning some rusty old-ass knives that were lying around.
>> No. 16950 [Edit]
Ate a little more than I should have this week due to some anxiety that I might be called for a job interview. Well what a silly thought that was, who would ever want to call me anyways. I'm in the clear of that now. Then comes the anxiety over stupid shit like something lewd being being shipped to me and I hope it won't come through UPS because then there will be an awkward moment of explaining to my mother in depth about my strange fetishes as they deliver later but at least they state all items sent through usps depending on size and weight, it's just under 2 feet (could be packed less lengthy though), is piece of clothing and it is less than 5 ounces. So I think I'm in the clear as they also ship quickly and I'm just a state above them. But Friday I'm taking the perverted plunge. for fapping! Ok you guys probably didn't need to know that but just getting it off my chest to make my unusual stress easier on me.
>> No. 16951 [Edit]
Today I made a stupid mistake, and was reminded of the depth of my inferiority. I laid on the ground and wondered why I could be so stupid. I wish I still had my gun.
>> No. 16967 [Edit]
Talked to my grandfather on the phone, applied for SSI, read, pondered, gamed, and chatted. Didn't drink. Here are some thoughts I end my day with:

When I lie still in my room, silently, time halts for me as my space ceases to change. With this death of time goes space with it. A quick shake of my head is all it takes for me to leap back into reality.

Our memories are not the source of the stream of time. Rather, they are like lamps on boats, letting us see we're traveling down a river at all.

Things only happen because they must.

If the future were predetermined, and a method for glancing forward were to exist, how would our minds handle seeing their own next thoughts?

Determinism is the belief that time is an aspect of the world, while liberty is the belief that time is an aspect of the self.

Time and space are as inseparable as world and self.

Post edited on 13th Sep 2012, 1:02am
>> No. 16970 [Edit]
I just installed Ubuntu all by myself. There were a few fuck-ups, but I managed to make it work. Now I just have to uninstall the previous OS in order to complete the transition.

I'm so excited! My internet has been saved. Fuck the PS3 browser. Firefox is ideal.
>> No. 16982 [Edit]
Watched some anime, mostly shows I need to finish before next season. Later on drank, then talked to some people about things. Wrote a bunch of drunken gibberish in my notebooks about whether positive virtues, good actions and such originate naturally, or if they must be a conscious decision we attempt to take. Went to sleep for a little bit and woke up feeling ill but clear headed. Attended two doctors appointments. One for a new medication, and one regarding general therapy for learning how to socialize properly without getting paranoid and anxious. Luckily they were at the same place, so it saved time. However I sure don't want to do any type of social stuff and what they described sounds awful, so I'll probably not go.
>> No. 16991 [Edit]
I'm home alone tonight but I don't feel like masturbating at all. How odd!
>> No. 16993 [Edit]
I am not home alone but I feel very much like masturbating.

Today I finished The Gambler, looked at lewd pictures, wished I wasn't here and hated myself for a bit. Going to listen to some music now to calm down. I wish no one expected anything of me.
>> No. 16996 [Edit]
It never happens when I have the house to myself. I was home alone for the last three nights, but nope.
>> No. 17005 [Edit]
My psychologist told me that he had no way to help me with my derealization/depersonalization today in our final meeting, but told me a lot of nice things. Read some Spinoza, got a really cool straw hat (very warm, yet also very cool), lectured a child about philosophy some -- I'm really trying to get him to study it while he's young, and he's very bright, so I have hope for him! -- survived a medical emergency, pondered on the world and on beauty, counseled another, and meditated on the best way one could conduct himself. Just now, I finished writing a short essay on why poetry is merely a shadow of what philosophy is. TL;DR: Although both poetry and philosophy are man's attempt for discovering Truth, poetry's methods are flawed, resulting in a useless end product. To be poetic is to be opaque, while philosophy strives for opacity.

My mother gave me a nice collection of essays on postmodern thought. I'll have to read that Saturday or Sunday...

If you need any help, or have any questions, feel free to message "cuba" in the IRC. GNU is a really fun system, explore it and play around with it! UNIX-like OSes are really, truly your systems in a way Windows can't be, I feel. You get so much power and freedom, ability to play video games out of the picture! Try playing with Vim or Emacs with a guide online. There's so much you can do with them.
>> No. 17009 [Edit]
I don't even like tc and anime much anymore.
I want to end everything I have nothing.
>> No. 17010 [Edit]
I started on methadone treatment. The side effects are, thus far, quite awful and it really doesn't feel the "same". Sure hope it does what it's intended and that I don't end up back on what I did before. Can't seem to think clear at all while on it; tried writing some stuff on modal logic, but after re-reading it, realized how little sense it made.


New season of shows is starting soon. Maybe there will be something of interest to you, though I completely understand.


Poetry is the lowest form of human artistic expression (that I can think of...performance art is hilariously bad, too).
>> No. 17014 [Edit]
Wanted to have some tea today, but quickly realized that I forgot to bring my tea with me. Which is ironic because I have my teapot and teacups but not the tea itself.
>> No. 17025 [Edit]
I was feeling like shit, so I got drunk. I still felt like shit, so I cut myself.
And I still feel like shit. I think I'll try to sleep now
>> No. 17029 [Edit]
Have to work with my doctor today on socializing and controlling my paranoia and anxiety, so I don't hear anything or begin to think strange things. The idea is have me talk to strangers all day, just going about. What the fuck?! Horrible plan, I hope he realizes how bad this will turn out and how damn drugged up I'm going to have to be to do this.
>> No. 17030 [Edit]
Leave this sort of depressing stuff in /so/ please.
>> No. 17031 [Edit]
I went on a bike ride and was sat on the top of this big hill in a meadow and I realised I felt lonely for the first time in my life. I've always been alone, but never lonely. A very scary feeling.
>> No. 17032 [Edit]
Started reading 1984, had a lot of tea, and looked at cute lolis to calm myself down after having to interact with people. I have started noticing I feel weird after I talk to people, like my mind gets very worked up and messy, and I feel unrested and self-loathing. 2D seems to help me calm down fortunately. Tea, too.

That sounds stupid. Tell your doctor I think he's stupid.
>> No. 17036 [Edit]

Your doctor sounds like a big idiot
>> No. 17038 [Edit]
My doctor spoke with me some about desensitization, seems like a good idea to me! "See, the idea is that if you go outside just a little bit every day, and go out just a bit longer, it'll be a bit less scary. But don't do anything too extreme -- just going out for a block or two can be enough." For someone with an awful aversion to people, maybe being dropped in a room with a bunch of them isn't the best idea, but if it's done enough, there's a chance it makes that person feel better.

Last night, I drank just a little teeny bit of gin, wrote my former philosophy professor (the man I have the highest respect for) an email, played a bit of Black Mesa until I realized I'd already played Half-Life, played a bit of Counter-Strike with a Brohno (we got slaughtered ;_;), watched a movie called "Tao of Steve" with my father, who loved it not nearly as much as I hated it. This morning, I'm having hair of the dog, daydreaming about some guy, and talked with the sister.
>> No. 17040 [Edit]
They try to make you socialize because it's the core issue. You go to shit when you spend too much time by yourself. All your problems sprouted out of loneliness and unless you salt the soil the weeds will just keep coming.
>> No. 17041 [Edit]
So old contact in the Air Force (really nice, generous guy) tells me he's taking leave this next couple weeks. He has recently learnt about the severe anti-Japan protests in China and is scared that he may have to go to Okinawa. He was never notably pro-Japan, but he's asking me to help him write a bilingual letter to the Japanese consulate, stating the people of the US support Japan, and wants to get together a few people to go to Boston and deliver the letter to the consulate, stage a small demonstration, and then protest outside of the Chinese consulate.

I nonetheless talked him down from the Chinese consulate protest, but I think I would like to do the letter to the Japanese consulate and deliver it.
>> No. 17048 [Edit]
It's 7AM?

How did time go by so quickly? No wonder there weren't many people to fight with/against online.
>> No. 17050 [Edit]
Yeah, time seems to have become stranger and stranger as the days go on.

Do you realize it's Sunday? That's crazy shit to me. Yet it's just an idle fact to most of the population. To me, though, it's the strangest thing. How can it already be 11:30, Sunday morning?
>> No. 17051 [Edit]
File 134781873832.jpg - (131.24KB , 550x490 , 26b06a8928ed3931764e443810cc22cc.jpg )
i dislike hot weather but there is something about those hot as hell, lazy sundays that somehow makes them compelling
>> No. 17060 [Edit]
I hate Sundays, it's the slowest day of the week to me. But for every other day time really does seem quite unreal. Like it'll be 1 PM and then I'll just look away to watch some stuff on youtube for a bit to pass more time and It's almost like I went through some sort of time warp because it's then 1:30 in almost an instant. But actually it makes days go by faster so I don't mind.
>> No. 17062 [Edit]
Got real drunk on rum and don't remember a thing. Hope I didn't do anything regrettable.
>> No. 17063 [Edit]
Even though I've only been away from my computer for a couple of hours, I feel a bit as though using these things are a bit foreign to me. It's odd.

Aside from that, I want my Haruhi damn plastic box with the stupid remote! I don't care if it isn't worth anything, I, as of this moment have decided that it is my reason for living and want it.

Those normals can't stop me! I will get one! I won't lose to them and I won't lose to anybody, even if I have to fight with my bare hands!
>> No. 17066 [Edit]
Frustration! A new job!
>> No. 17067 [Edit]
You got hired? I'm jealous as fuck.
>> No. 17068 [Edit]
I deleted a lot of the music I had stored, around 4/5ths of it or so. I used music mainly as a means of avoiding the world, and lately that has stopped working, and I realized that most of what I listened to was pretty bad musically. I was content to listen to it so long as it kept me distracted, so I never noticed.
I started trying to make notes on what I read. I wrote two fragmented sentences and couldn't do it anymore. Too tired. I have a feeling I'll erase them tomorrow, but I think I got a glimpse of what I want to write there a few moments ago. I must be more constructive and structured. My mind is all scattered lately, and it is becoming frustrating. Maybe by writing down things it will make it easier to organize it. I also must work on my handwriting. I think I can make it a bit neater now.
I felt very distracted today, as if everything was blurred. Couldn't think at all, until later when I had some tea and laid in bed for a while resting. Then I could read.
Working on ameliorating myself mentally is an interesting (and difficult) task.
>> No. 17069 [Edit]
I was pretty much professionally diagnosed with Aspergers today.

Even after expressing my doubt, the doctor insisted that I have it, so whatever. Having a form of 'autism' may be more beneficial than just ADHD/Anxiety. And now, I'm an offical sperglord.

This was all really unexpected though, since I only went there to see about getting my medical back. Now I'll end my day studying nippon until my adderall starts to come crashing down.
>> No. 17070 [Edit]
Are you going to get on autismbux?
>> No. 17071 [Edit]
File 134800997563.jpg - (142.48KB , 1024x768 , 6367df1ec6c32bf34ff815d737e99658.jpg )
We'll be here for ya.

It's not easy to be a diagnosed aspie, just because of how everyone on the internet uses it as an insult. Autism4lyf.
>> No. 17072 [Edit]
People will use it as insult even if you don't have it
>> No. 17078 [Edit]
I remember getting diagnosed when I was about 11, right after moving to a new town, probably because I was just a sheltered, quiet kid. I think that was the point when my life started to go downhill, since the new school overreacted to the diagnosis and treated me like I was retarded. I got to take normal classes, but the school gave me "help" I didn't need and gave all the other kids a great excuse to pick on me.

...Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
>> No. 17079 [Edit]
Had a moment of recidivism today, and did heroin again. Feels real bad so I've been reading manga and books all day.
>> No. 17081 [Edit]
That's gross man.

Best of luck to you on never doing that shit again.
>> No. 17084 [Edit]
I worked out again. This time, I didn't feel as weak as I did last time. I was able to fully support myself with both arms as I did pushups for the second time this year.

Then, what I thought was difficult turned out to be extremely easy. I managed to do correct situps by using my toes against the wall, which is a first time that it I've been able to do it like that correctly.

I think that I'll be able to get strong enough to fend myself if anybody were to attack me on that day.

I'M NOT FAT, but I think that I'll be able to lose a little bit of unnecessary size. When this is all done, I'll probably gain it all back since I don't plan on leaving my room with the exception of that day.

Scalpers and normals won't beat me!
>> No. 17085 [Edit]
Do crunches rather than situps. With sit-ups you're much more prone to cheat using momentum and your hip muscles.
>> No. 17086 [Edit]
Alright, I'll try to do those instead during my next work out. I'd try them now, but my stomach muscles are too sore from the measly 20 situps I managed.

All I want is to be able to take a few punches from anybody who tries to fight me.
>> No. 17091 [Edit]
Today I went out for a puff in the park, and as I looked at the stars It looked really "fuzzy" in the north. I went into a darker spot and saw gargantuan lines of red and brilliant green up there. I've seen the aurora a many number of times, but this time it was so incredibly vivid and fast. Couldn't get any pictures though with my anus 2 megapixel mobile camera. So I spent the night going to higher and higher places in the town, in hopes of getting ever better views of the thing. Saw a deer too.
>> No. 17092 [Edit]
The closest I've ever come to this is in skyrim ;_;
>> No. 17094 [Edit]
I didn't do this as much as I did in Oblivion, but, sometimes, I would just stop when walking at night in Oblivion and just stare the skyset. Good Haruhi, that thing was gorgeous, and the soundtrack and ambient the game could create only made it better.
>> No. 17096 [Edit]
My netbook died.

Something corrupted my windows files so it refuses to boot right now.

I can either look for a new computer or try to get my picture files off of it with help from Lux, then re-install Windows. Personally the netbook was a poor choice on my part so I am thinking of waiting for my grandfather to get me a new one for Christmas.
>> No. 17099 [Edit]
Nothing happened. As usual.
>> No. 17100 [Edit]
oh man this AWESOME theme is so AWESOME!!!

last night i was freaking out, so i drank half a bottle of gin, punched myself in the face until i got a bloody nose, jammed some toilet paper up it, played a bit of dota, and passed out
>> No. 17102 [Edit]
>oh man this AWESOME theme is so AWESOME!!!

Finally I can switch to something other than yotsuba V2
>> No. 17103 [Edit]
THANKS for this new theme, it was literally the highlight of my day
>> No. 17104 [Edit]

It should be the default, it's art
>> No. 17106 [Edit]
Oh Haruhi this theme.
>> No. 17107 [Edit]
I love the new theme. Makes me want to go back to the early web days.

All that's missing is a hit-counter image on the front page.
>> No. 17108 [Edit]
It has one on the bottome, it's just obscured by the board index
>> No. 17110 [Edit]
Went out and got a job. Talked with my boss some about Nietzsche philosophy. I'm taking my former coworker's position, probably the guy I got along best with too (he was a goon, kinda an oddball). They call me the "new kris" in his honor. Signed some forms and got into the system. I was trembling the entire time but I hid it well. After that I bought a coffee from a little store down the hall and ran into some people I went to high school who'd signed up for classes. "Wow, you sure grew up tall, Bob!" Now I'm home, going to go to an appointment I have scheduled in about an hour.
>> No. 17111 [Edit]
>Went out and got a job.
The fuck? How was it so easy? I've been applying all over the fucking Haruhidamn place for months and nothing.
>> No. 17113 [Edit]
When I was a student at my school, I did a term of "work study" in its IT department. I didn't learn anything, but it was just a few hours of very easy work a day. Because of budget cuts, they've had to "let people go" and other people have quit on their own. I did my work and I did it well, so I guess that's all there was to it. The guy sent me an email a few days ago sayng they needed help and that I was at the top of their list, so I should come down.

When I just go downtown or look in my newspaper when I wanted jobs, I couldn't find any either. I guess I just got lucky that I could make the right connections when I was a student. What's funny is that my mom told me that her brother applied for the same exact job I have now a year or two ago and was turned down.

Post edited on 20th Sep 2012, 3:22pm
>> No. 17114 [Edit]
Got drunk last night, couldn't sleep and I think ended up wandering around the city early morning. Somehow ended up in the hospital, though I don't know how, having stitches put in, but I walked out after I got all anxious. Sat in a bookstore the rest of the morning re-reading bits of some Epictetus while having tea. Came home and now I'm having more alcohol while I look for a new condo to rent, as I'm probably moving once again next month or so.
>> No. 17118 [Edit]
Watched a symphonic orchestra for free. Got to talk with the conductor after it was done, she was a amazing person.

Post edited on 20th Sep 2012, 9:46pm
>> No. 17123 [Edit]
I did it! I managed to do 20 crunches before my 20 situps I watched a youtube video to learn how to do it correctly.

Str +5
>> No. 17124 [Edit]
> What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.
Sounds fair enough.

Last night, I called Shinden9, drank a bunch of whiskey, shouted drunkenly at Russians in Dota2 (and got a few to yell back), read some doujins with onee in them, and <drugs>abused a drug called Benzedrex as I started sobering up. (Benzedrex is a stimulant drug, legal, over the counter.) I'm feeling a ton of clarity of mind and euphoria, but it comes with a bit of a shitty body high, like a lot of legal drugs do. Maybe I'll do it again... So glad I had some gel caps saved for this, it smelled like crap. WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY COUGH MEDICINES ARE ABUSEABLE?! Yeah, yeah, I'll go read or something. MAn I feel PUMPED UP</drugs>
>> No. 17125 [Edit]
Today I went to the Highland games. Haruhidamn it is interesting. Tartans are pretty amazing, and I am currently trying to find my family tartan. Also learnt Japan has a national tartan.

Sorry I didn't pick up, also, do you text?
>> No. 17127 [Edit]
Last night I had a sore throat that came out of nowhere. I got no sleep at all, it was that bad. I was just choking on my own snot and saliva all night as it caused my throat to get more and more sore. Then I when I finally got out of bed in the morning I had to choke down some food as I blew my nose and spit gallons of the disgusting and painful snot saliva out. Then all throughout the day I must have drank over 6 full glasses of water. I feel my efforts are starting to pay off now, pain is going away. Let's hope it stays away. There is almost no worse feeling when your sick than not even being able to swallow correctly.
>> No. 17128 [Edit]
Today, I accidentally formatted my PSP's memory stick. Well, I did it on purpose, but I forgot to back up the save data. It really sucks, but I can't really...feel anything about it. At the end of the day, it's just data, and if I really cared, I would re-play the games up to the point I was. Most of them were beat, anyway. The only major "loss" (if it could be called that) was my P3P data - I had just barely made it past the first boss, and to be perfectly honest, I am sick of playing through that specific portion of the game. You could say it sucks, but in a small way.

I guess I'm really surprised at how little it's affecting me.

Benzedrex is honestly the best. I don't see how anyone can dislike the body feel of it. I guess I can see how some people find it jittery, though. Or maybe it was the alcohol that made it so bad? DPH is the only drug that I've tried that has a "shitty" body load. Now that I think about it, it's the most strange, inappropriate drug to even consider trying. DPH that is. Benzedrex could be considered weird, too, but it's nothing but good in my eyes. I ended up with it being a habit, actually. It was at a point where I was either crashing from it, or high on it, day in and day out. Needless to say, I did nothing but write a bunch of sometimes mundane, sometimes brilliantly insightful ramblings and masturbate for 8 hours at a time. But I still like it. Just don't overdo it, and it's perfect.
>> No. 17129 [Edit]
I do, feel free to text whenever but I never have anything interesting going on.

Sinus infection? I used to get those a lot as a kid. They're awful ;_;

I think part of it was imagined, and I only really felt a little bit of one at first. It was nowhere near as bad as DPH. Tons of fun! I'll have to watch out and make sure it doesn't become a habit for me as well. How did you deal with the taste? Did you do lemonade extractions, would you parachute the cotton, use gel caps, what?
>> No. 17131 [Edit]
Chop the cotton in half, put some water or soda (although soda makes it worse in some ways) in your mouth (fuck that sounds weird - I mean take a mouthful of whatever drink you have and hold it in there), put the cotton in, take another sip of water, and swallow. Taste is barely noticeable if at all. You can chase it with a few (as in 3-5) Halls or some other really flavorful cough drop if you want to almost completely eliminate the lavender burps. That's how I used to do it. I never bothered with extractions myself. Watch out for the crash, though. It will kick your ass. If it doesn't already, it will, as it gets shittier the more you indulge.
>> No. 17134 [Edit]
I'm thinking we should make /junkie/ for you drug types.
>> No. 17135 [Edit]
I saw Anime News Network has an ad out for a new site that will promote Korean pop culture.
>> No. 17137 [Edit]
Apparently I have food poisoning.

It sucks and I hope that you guys don't ever get it. ;_;
>> No. 17138 [Edit]

I've had it and it is quite awful, much worse than just a regular flu or something. Get well soon anon
>> No. 17139 [Edit]
Everyone is sick! And not just mentally either like usual! Jokes aside it's times like these where I can even breathe through my nose as I blow it every 5 minutes as my throat burns that I realize how much I really hate my life. I'm pissed, this better go away quickly. Always something getting in the way of my already shitty every day activities.
>> No. 17140 [Edit]
>> No. 17141 [Edit]
File 134835204266.jpg - (59.01KB , 700x600 , Spoiler Picture.jpg )
So, I'm getting a state ID on Tuesday. In order to join the GED program. Really strange.

Has anyone here taken the test? Is it particularly hard? I'm imagining it's quite easy. But still, it has math on it, and like...I'm fully retarded when it comes to numbers. I barely know my times tables and all that shit. The notion of me doing long division is a joke.

And I'm probably going to have to take the classes, which is going to be a whole other deal. Kind of like going back to school, but...probably worse. I'm assuming that there's going to be a bunch of the "pregnant at 16" types, as well as some heavy-set black men. I'm not racist, but the idea of going to school again is so weird.

But yeah. My goal is to get that done, and then get a job. Hopefully I'll have my own place by the end of next year, and will be attending the local community college.

It's so surreal...I honestly never thought my NEET days would come to an end.
>> No. 17142 [Edit]
I took the GED exam just myself last year. It's very easy, very slow, and very boring. My first thought when I actually took the exams were "fuck I could have done these in middle school! Why did I even go to high school?" and could do each of them in about 20 minutes. There were a lot of stoners and alternative school-type kids, and a few older heavyset moms, as best as I can recall. They give you a calculator for the math section and a piece of scratch paper. Even if you have a hard time with numbers sometimes, you can form basic sentences in English as well as read them, can't you? Everything will be fine, then. I wish you luck!
>> No. 17143 [Edit]
My Xbox account finally got deactivated. They've sent me like a dozen emails in the last month telling me they couldn't charge the expired credit card it's on and I should /!\TAKE ACTION SOON/!\. I let it run out on purpose to avoid having to say my xbox name out loud to the phone person to cancel
>> No. 17144 [Edit]
Pretty happy with the fact that today I've finally sold a large number of CDs on ebay, some of which have gone for a pretty high price that makes me even more happy.
>> No. 17145 [Edit]
Second. You can pass the GED, no sweat. Even if you're retarded with numbers like I am.

I passed the GED last year... but I'm still a NEET. Getting and keeping a job is a lot harder than the GED.
>> No. 17147 [Edit]
I read an autobiographical article about a man who compulsively pisses in bottles.
>> No. 17148 [Edit]
Posting a picture of my waifu with a very gross post. Not something I thought I would see.

I just woke up, it's now 10am. Going to spend the day playing dota. Adios, tc.
>> No. 17151 [Edit]
I didn't know I wrote a book
>> No. 17153 [Edit]
My ankle has been killing me today. I have no idea why seeing as I am a hikki living in a one story house, so it's not like I am running around climbing things.
>> No. 17156 [Edit]
Got hold of Audiomulch today. Messed around with it for a little bit and made some pretty cool sounding compositions, despite having a crappy sound card on this laptop.
>> No. 17157 [Edit]
I've been working on a model kit for the last 12 hours or so. Still not finished.

Doesn't help that I'm sort of dazed on Klonopin.

Still, Kotobukiya knows how to make me feel like a retard for sucking at snapping tiny little pieces of plastic together. Not to mention my lack of budget for painting these things.
>> No. 17160 [Edit]
I just ate burger king for the first time in like 2 years and now my stomach feels like there's a lead weight in it
>> No. 17162 [Edit]
When I eat mcdonalds it feels like there is a dead raccoon in my stomach
>> No. 17164 [Edit]
This hotel internet somehow got even worse, and the front desk and ISP the hotel uses won't give me any answers.
>> No. 17169 [Edit]
Stopped taking all my medications this evening and am going to just save them up. Hoping some stuff I'm waiting on in the mail shows up tomorrow...it's been forever. I hate waiting on mail.
>> No. 17171 [Edit]
knowing mcdonalds, I wouldn't be surprised if you really did.
>> No. 17172 [Edit]
Slept for my first time in several days for like 12 hours. Watching DOTA2 now.
>> No. 17177 [Edit]
My mother is forcing me to get my ID renewed tomorrow. I have never used it once and have no reason at all to renew it, so I'm assuming she's just making me do it so she can prove to herself she can still force me to do things.
>> No. 17181 [Edit]
I never had an ID before. I can't drive, so I can't get a drivers license. I tried to get one once from the DMV but they make it as complicated as possible and you need to meet requirements as stupid as "3 pieces of mail to you personally". I want to sell a lot of shit and in general have more freedom so when an employee anywhere wants to be a dick and ask for my ID I actually have one. I didn't know they actually expire though. If that's true then I'm still fucked because there's no way my parent would care enough to take me down to where I got it to renew it, the only place is far away.
>> No. 17182 [Edit]
My mother hauled off and punched me in the back and threw a stone at me after I rearranged the rocks in my turtle's tank, to defend her lovely control freak Mexicunt wife, who had to have the rocks in the tank just right. 

Who is the one who takes care of the turtle, cleans his tank, spent their own money getting him a new tank and a heat lamp? Who?! Could it be, I don't know, the one you're throwing FUCKING ROCKS AT YOU CUNT?!?!

Haruhi damn it I will kill. I will kill. Fucking society, if you want people to become self-sustained why not raise the minimum wage and not be so Haruhidamn selective. Fuck. 
>> No. 17183 [Edit]
i like turtles
>> No. 17191 [Edit]
File 134853844058.jpg - (102.67KB , 428x412 , 1333669667674.jpg )
I found out my neighbour has a 20mb connection, so I got his wi-fi pass using reaver, and now I'm stealing his connection.
Having fast internet is glorious in comparison to my 512kb isp.
>> No. 17192 [Edit]
Tried compiling MAME, just for the hell of it. Failed miserably with MingW. Maybe gonna try using Cygwin+MingW tomorrow.
>> No. 17195 [Edit]
File 134855985259.png - (32.34KB , 300x135 , even the days of AOL were better than this.png )
Wish I could do that.
>> No. 17196 [Edit]
Woke up early, went for a walk, wrote a letter, sent an email, took a hot hot bath, played with my kitty. Now lying around waiting. I'm so tired!

try compiling it on unix
>> No. 17198 [Edit]
So reaver actually works, huh?

I'll have to get one later on in case of emergencies.
>> No. 17199 [Edit]
Where can I get it?
>> No. 17200 [Edit]
>> No. 17201 [Edit]

I used my netbook and backtrack, didn't have to buy anything.

The signal is very poor though, so maybe I should get a better wifi adapter.
>> No. 17202 [Edit]
I woke up and ate breakfast. In about half an hour, I'll be going to class. Normally, I would go to Yugioh at 5 PM but my class ends at a weird hour and I commute, so it's up in the air if I go since I'd rather either go straight from class to YGO or go home for like a 5 hour nap. Hmm.
>> No. 17204 [Edit]
Closest thing to Unix I have here ready for use is Cygwin.
Tried with it and failed because MAME has no configure script and I couldn't find how to instruct it to use mingw-w64 as host directly on the makefile. Then shit happened and either it wouldn't want to do the cross-compilation or it wouldn't find the 64 version of the required includes.
I ultimately gave up on Cygwin again and found the Mingw MAME toolchain by accident on their site, which worked almost immediately.
Seems my main problem before was getting mingw and mingw-w64 to coexist on the same MSYS enviroment. On the last try I just ditched MSYS completely(fuck Bourne) and did everything on windows console itself, besides using the mame-specific toolchain.

Compiled, runs games, HLSL works properly, all cool.
>> No. 17205 [Edit]
I was going to sneak in a bid in the last few seconds of an auction, but internet explorer froze.

>> No. 17206 [Edit]
Posted stuff I've sold on ebay. Did more job applications. Pretty much spent the day trying to keep myself busy since I often fall into depression by focusing too much on my own shortcomings.
>> No. 17207 [Edit]
I spent some time trying to understand G.E. Moore's "here is a hand" argument against philosophical skepticism (i.e. rejection of the possibility of justified true belief) from his A Defence of Common Sense. Failed. It seems to have credence in the philosophical community so I assume there's something to it, but I can't see it.
>> No. 17208 [Edit]
I've had that problem before, I'd also sometimes forget when a action was ending and miss it.
Try j-bid watcher, it's a Haruhi send.
>> No. 17209 [Edit]
You think VirtualBox would work if I bridged to my wireless card? My laptop's disc drive only works 1% of the time.
>> No. 17210 [Edit]
Today I found out that I'm going to be going bald. Possibly within the next 10-15 years. Maybe even 5.
Shit kind of sucks. I mean, Hunter S. Thompson was bald, and he's pretty much my hero. Damian Abraham, of Fucked Up, too, although he's not particularly a figure I look up to. But he was fat and bald, and the dude is bad-ass. I figure if I really need to, I can call upon the natural charisma that everyone seems to have, but nobody really uses, and people won't really care.

What are some bald anime characters? Kagerou, from SZS. Mr. Braun, from S;G. That's all off the top of my head. Probably loads more.

I also realized that I'm way too vain for a NEET.
>> No. 17211 [Edit]

It probably would.
There's a VMware friendly version of backtrack in the official page though, so you are better off using that.
>> No. 17212 [Edit]
went to a job interview today. I hope I get this.
>> No. 17213 [Edit]
File 134860784147.jpg - (638.17KB , 1162x842 , birthday.jpg )
I woke up at 3pm and celebrated my birthday with my mother, brother and sister, and received a hair cutting machine as a present. Later in the evening, I cleaned my room with my brother. threw out a lot of obsolete junk and moved things around a bit. It's been a good birthday.

I guess I'll go for a brief night-time walk soon.
>> No. 17214 [Edit]
Happy birthday.
>> No. 17215 [Edit]
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ OF A PRE-20'S BALD MAN ~ ~ ~ ~

╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
>> No. 17216 [Edit]
My neighbor stopped by to tell us that one of her ex-boyfriends has been threatening her, and if we see anything suspicious to call her. Considering that house regularly has like half a dozen people outside blaring music and yelling at each other at all hours I'm not sure what "suspicious" means to her. Also she didn't leave a number. On the plus side she says they are in the middle of moving, but they'll probably be replaced by even shittier people.
>> No. 17218 [Edit]
>My laptop's disc drive only works 1% of the time.
Are you talking about when you try to burn stuff? A burner I had a long time ago had that problem, but I'm pretty sure it was made much more reliable once I updated the firmware.
>> No. 17219 [Edit]
Happy birthday.
>> No. 17228 [Edit]
No, it doesn't read discs either. I've tried every software trick in the book, so it's most likely a hardware issue, meaning I've got to shell out $60+ for a new drive.

It's probably the spinning motor that gave up, since it'll spin and stop until I take out the disc.
>> No. 17229 [Edit]
I wonder if my disk drive works. It hasn't been used since the OS was installed from it 2 years ago
>> No. 17230 [Edit]
Happy Birthday!

Isn't the frame or whatever from that kopipe the same frame from the black woman "who don't need no man" kopipe?
>> No. 17231 [Edit]
Oh, I see. That sucks, sorry to hear it.
>> No. 17232 [Edit]
File 134862061457.jpg - (48.71KB , 419x393 , lk30.jpg )
After a big fight with my parents about my future, today i filled the form to join the police. I'm full of regrets.
>> No. 17238 [Edit]
Went to a doctors appointment, then slacked off for a while. Must not have done much else because I forget nearly everything past that. Later on went out for dinner somewhere, and spent a lot of money on wine. Slept for a bit and then woke up. Checked my e-mails and all that stuff, and found a message from a past employer I had a small job for. They'd like me to work another job for them again, messing about with visual data compression. Might accept it, just for something to do. Programming jobs aren't too stressful at least.

Post edited on 26th Sep 2012, 7:11am
>> No. 17239 [Edit]
Got trapped under a tree I cut down for a half hour. Parents reaction was that I should do more work and stop being a shit.

The thing was the size of a caber and I am 178cm 58kg. They didn't even buy me a kilt and hire a bagpiper.

Now I am dusting their feminist propaganda DVD collection. Finally got a hold of the wireless passcode so I can Internet all day. Found a pic of my waifu that makes me extremely happy.
>> No. 17241 [Edit]
Yesterday for my allergies (getting better, inside of head still feels stuffed up and nose isn't as runny) I went to the store with my mother and she got some pills for me but they don't seem to do anything. But I also noticed they contained DXM and that reminded me I always wanted to DXM trip. Then I also remembered I don't have an ID and I probably would get carded. I'm what you would call ID locked from society. I can't do anything no matter how old I am just because I don't have a little plastic card that says I'm me. I'm so fucking sick of it, I can't even freely buy or sell things on my own without questioning myself if I will need an ID. I wish there was a store called "We don't give a fuck" that sold every drug on the planet I could ever want to anyone.
>> No. 17249 [Edit]
Today I stayed up late playing Borderlands 2. Woke up a bit too early and some brunch with my little sister, then I got ready for work and had a short first day there. Bought some cigarettes and walked around smoking them while thinking about what "good" and "evil" are or might be, then came home and drank some whisky. (I'm fucking classy!)

My dog kept pissing in my house so I had to clean that up. Really icky. Now I'm gonna play some more Borderlands 2 before going to bed. Let's see how tomorrow goes... I've been really happy lately, if a bit fatigued.

Some advice regarding cough medicine: Check to see if there's an active ingredient. If there's not one or it's not labelled as a drug, it probably won't do anything. Some advice regarding DXM abuse: read the Haruhidamn DXM FAQ, for starters... and yeah, it'll help with your cough a bit during the trip, but then it'll go back to normal. And hell, it makes me cough WHILE I'm on it. Just isn't as annoying.
>> No. 17254 [Edit]
I know, I did my research and know exactly what I'm going for. And actually I was playing Borderlands 2 last night too. But I find it more boring than the first one even though it's bigger. I'm going to uninstall it soon.
>> No. 17256 [Edit]
Did errands in the morning. Read Meditations on the Peaks by Julius Evola, then some various manga. Dried some left over herbs I was growing all summer, so they are available for winter. Sort of forget what else happened after...nothing exciting. Used heroin again before sleeping, so I think I've given up trying to quit or something.

Pretty sure I've caught a flu or something as well.
>> No. 17258 [Edit]
I knew that my parents knew each other for a long ass while but today when somebody asked them about how they met I overheard they were sharing a desk in high school. ... I'm still not sure how to feel about it.

Completely uneventful day otherwise.
>> No. 17261 [Edit]
What's your Steam name? Let's play together. It's really a game best played with others.

go to rehab or something
>> No. 17266 [Edit]
After I was diagnosed as an aspie last week, the lady said they'd send my results in the mail after 10 days. It came today and said I'll be receiving $120 each month, and even better, my medical insurance is back.

While it's barely anything, it's still good enough, at least until I can finally get a job. And then of course, I've secured my ADHD meds for hopefully a year or so.

Funny how I got semi-autism bucks, just a few days after being diagnosed with a form of autism.
>> No. 17267 [Edit]
Where do you live, and have you had any prior work experience?
>> No. 17268 [Edit]
USA, Washington state. Zero work experience.

Something else I forgot. I'm also professionally diagnosed with social anxiety.

Post edited on 27th Sep 2012, 7:02pm
>> No. 17269 [Edit]
Huh, I wonder if I could get money too. Just another reason to go to a doctor I guess. Too bad my social anxiety makes me not even wanna leave my room when someone is here, much less go to some doctor and have him critique me
>> No. 17272 [Edit]
File 134886562728.jpg - (175.51KB , 500x500 , 3a7fbc40ec95313715882a032bed5155.jpg )
I tasted a kiwi, had the power go out for a couple of minutes, did stuff, and AVG has rejected my computer.

Avast seems jews, but I'll use it for a while (within 90 days) as I look for a better alternative. I'll fail to do so out of forgetfulness and disinterest and they'll spam me with viruses until I pay them for "protection".
>> No. 17273 [Edit]
>> No. 17274 [Edit]
I'm also using avast since my other antivirus told me to fuck off. i'm sure I'll forget to look into other alternatives, so i'm looking forward to have my computer sabotaged until I give them jew gold
>> No. 17275 [Edit]

Use something like malwarebytes or spybot.
>> No. 17276 [Edit]
I think MB and SB are in a different "class" of virus protection than things like MSE or Avast.

Like, people usually recommend you have one of those + something else. I use malwarebytes and MSE, myself

Post edited on 28th Sep 2012, 3:25pm
>> No. 17277 [Edit]
Installed Slackware 14, almost finished getting signed up for my new job... bought two little books, played Borderlands 2
>> No. 17278 [Edit]
Had to go out to eat since there was nothing here. Ate some very bad chinese crap somewhere and felt like killing the person I went with beside my father becase he's just the worst type of normal (though my father's not much better). Then I listened to some songs by artists I liked and realized I disliked most of them. I wanted to keep reading The Republic but I can't figure out where I put it. I played go, won a game because of a big ko. I started feeling uneasy, restless and more self-loathing than usual a few hours after that so I did some bad things to myself, and managed to calm down. Wrote a stupid e-mail that I regretted 5 seconds after sending. Now I'm not sure what I should do. Maybe I'll look for the book again, or try to finally catch up on the anime I haven't been watching.
>> No. 17279 [Edit]
Isn't The Republic a fun book? I really enjoyed reading it too.
>> No. 17287 [Edit]
I have started to teach myself Esperanto. It seems like a fun language due to the simplicity, so I hope I don't lose interest in it. Even if it was childish, I admire the creator's dream of making it a universal second language to allow people from all over to connect.
>> No. 17288 [Edit]
Constructed languages are interesting. I personally would prefer to learn something like loglan or lojban to esperanto though.
>> No. 17289 [Edit]
File 13489422888.jpg - (657.94KB , 642x900 , a1ed29ff68f48fef6cc740dc319a9f2c.jpg )
I shaved all my bodyhair today. I feel so girly and smooth.
>> No. 17290 [Edit]
Enjoy your itchy stubble
>> No. 17292 [Edit]
It isn't really bad. But yeah waxing would be nice.
>> No. 17294 [Edit]
I did that once too.
Never again
>> No. 17295 [Edit]
Having to shave it every day or two to keep that smooth gets old fast.
>> No. 17296 [Edit]
>> No. 17297 [Edit]
One of the things I wanna do when I move out is nair my bodyhair off
>> No. 17298 [Edit]
I honestly thought that I was unique in this.

Anyway, today I wrote a bit, which is a pleasant change. I haven't been working that muscle out much lately, which is a little sad, because I'd like to be a writer of some kind in the future, if I ever get out of the prison-lifestyle of NEETdom.

Also downloaded MGS (the original) and played that a bit. Got to Ocelot before I decided to take a break.
>> No. 17299 [Edit]
Tried making some bacon in the first time in a while. I successfully cooked a few pieces before I noticed the room was filling with smoke from my cooking.

I'm pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen.
>> No. 17300 [Edit]
I bought whiskey and chips and had a party for myself after my parents went to bed... jacking off while listening to eurobeat and watching anime was fun, but I drank too much and starting throwing up all over the room, I didn't even have enough time to get to the bathroom. I tried to clean up but I was too drunk, I just didn't know what I was doing. I blacked out. When I woke up I realized a lot of stuff in my room (computer, books, clothes) had vomit on it. The smell was all over the house, I could hear my parents bitching about it. I don't know what to do, they aren't stupid. They probably know very well what's going on, and one of these days they'll confront me about it.
>> No. 17301 [Edit]
I think thats normal. my stove doesnt have an exhaust so I just open a window.
>> No. 17303 [Edit]
Today I told someone that I don't want to do what they wanted me to do. I think this is a step towards ruining what's left of my life saying what I want to say.

Bacon does make a lot of smoke. Use the exhaust, open a window as >>17301 said.
>> No. 17304 [Edit]
Friday I scheduled a phone interview to see about applying for SSI. So the $120 I was supposed to start getting each month isn't SSI, but something else? Don't know and really don't care, I'm just going with the flow for now.
I'm thinking that nothings going to come out of this, but the lady I talked with when I got my medical insurance back said she can help with my case, so there might actually be a chance in getting accepted.
Though I still plan on trying to get a job sometime, this is just an interesting distraction until then. The sudden switch from full on anxiety, to talking with people on the phone without much problem has at least been some improvement. Maybe my anxiety is exaggerated.

As for other things I did today...
I talked with my brother for hours while he was playing devil survivor 2, then later, somehow I got lost in time and accidentally took a 2 hour walk, did my anki reps, then paced around my cousin's yard for about 30 minutes. Even on medication my time is wasted on stupid shit. It HAS to be the music's fault... can't stop listening.

a bit extra for today's wastes, since 4 months starting, today's the first day I smoked over a pack of cigarettes in a 24 hour period. The usual's just a pack or two a week.

Post edited on 30th Sep 2012, 3:15am
>> No. 17305 [Edit]
You really should refrain from getting so drunk if you live with your parents.
>> No. 17307 [Edit]
It's only day 2 after my pc went out on me and how much it has been mentally keeping me together is really starting to show already. Using this old iPod touch to use the Internet is breaking my neck as long as being highly annoying to use. Feel terrible right now, hope it gets fixed soon because it's getting unbearable.
>> No. 17308 [Edit]
I hope you get a replacement soon. At least you have internet as being without internet is suffering.
>> No. 17309 [Edit]
Yesterday, I set up a new laptop and installed Slackware 14.0 on a flash drive. Been playing DOTA 2.

Do you know what's wrong with it?
>> No. 17310 [Edit]
File 134903564594.gif - (726.14KB , 254x401 , rotate.gif )
Today I read some touhou doujins, listened to lots of downtempo, rolled a lot around on my floor and pretended I was replying to questions in a hypothetical job interview.
I also decided to attach a picture in this post.

>Yesterday, I set up a new laptop and installed Slackware 14.0 on a flash drive. Been playing DOTA 2.
Seriously now, why slackware?
>> No. 17311 [Edit]
Yes I'm at least happy I still have Internet right now, better than nothing. And yes I do know what's wrong, I need a new power supply. I should get it back in a couple weeks at most. Also have some unfinished work to do on it which is making me more impatient.
>> No. 17312 [Edit]
I noticed while talking to myself today that I have started pronouncing "the" as "thee" instead of "thuh". When did this start
>> No. 17313 [Edit]
Went downtown and as always I started feeling awful on the way there. I couldn't focus or think, I felt uncomfortable, and everyone pissed me off. On the way home everyone I saw looked strange. I felt like they were all planning something. I listened to some Autechre record on the subway trying to ignore everything around me, but it wasn't that good so all it did was annoy me more. I'm exhausted now and I have a really bad headache. Awful day, but I really shouldn't expect anything else, lately they all are.
>> No. 17314 [Edit]
When I'm feeling really upset with something that will prove to be a problem that can extend into the future and block the flow of my life I can't enjoy music. It's like my mind telling me I'm not worthy of freely enjoying it at the time. Also I never liked Autechre much, tried to since I love glitch but just couldn't. You should check out Oval's older stuff, Microstoria, or Ryoji Ikeda if you don't know about those artists already.
>> No. 17315 [Edit]
I took a 100-minute walk looping a lit <1km slice of road that has a few steep slopes on it with a backpack weighing about 12kg. I'd been omitting exercise for three months, so my legs shouted in pain, but I made it.

Now I'm cooking some sliced potatoes on a frying pan after taking a shower. It's probably the only dish I can make.
>> No. 17317 [Edit]
Woke up hungover, which wasn't fun. It had been forever since that last happened, haha. Some smokes and a couple of ibuprofen tablets cured me, though. I was disappointed, because we didn't have water when I woke up, because I couldn't take a shower. How the fuck does that happen?

At dinner, my stepfather compared me to his deceased daughter. That kind of fucked with me a bit. She would have been my age if she didn't die.

Other than that, I just played MGS: Portable Ops. It's alright. The camera can be a little frustrating at times (only one stick, so you have to use the D-pad to control it, and it gets stuck in weird angles a lot), but I love me some Biggu Bossu.

Also downloaded Shin Sekai Yori, and I'm not so sure if I'm looking forward to watching it or not.

Sometimes. Just sometimes, it feels like the world is only some kind of sick show, and everyone else are just characters/NPC's to interact with. But solipsism's played out like the jehri curl, so I quickly quash those thoughts. It still disturbs and shakes me, when it comes up, though.
>> No. 17318 [Edit]
I feel so fucking sleepy right now, but I don't want to sleep

Fuck you biological needs
>> No. 17319 [Edit]
People are so annoying. I wish they'd all fuck off and die.
>> No. 17320 [Edit]
I'm sorry we're all such horrible people inside, fellow Brohno.
>> No. 17323 [Edit]
But before they fuck off and go jump off a cliff they should give me my stuff back and enough money to live off of for the rest of my life so I never need to deal with them again. Come to think of it I have never found one person in my life I ever really liked. Always had to lower my standards just to accept everyone.
>> No. 17325 [Edit]
>Always had to lower my standards just to accept everyone.

But that's exactly how it is for everyone else in life.
>> No. 17326 [Edit]
I'm here living the life of a neet/hikki becuase I decided I shouldn't have to lower my standards.
>> No. 17327 [Edit]
I'm a neet but I just wouldn't be able to completely be a hikki. I would go even more batshit insane if I just locked myself in my room forever. I do spend 90% of my life in it but I still want to go places just go on an adventure sometimes. When I get my pc back I probably will go full hikki for a while just getting done what I gotta get done though as well as having more time to myself to let the inferno worth of rage going on in my head currently to fade out.
>> No. 17329 [Edit]
Got good news from my university today, I'm pleased. Rest of the day was boring. Went out later in the night somewhere. Now I'm drinking some masala chai, working on some writings, and watching someone play Rune Factory: Frontier.
>> No. 17330 [Edit]
I have a headache today. It sucks. I know exactly why I have it, and that sucks even more.

I was going to work on the story I started a couple days back, but...I just have no real motivation to.

Been feeling more depressed than normal, as well. The general lack of fulfillment and hope in my life is getting to me.

But I didn't come to clog /ot/ with my bad feelings. Listened to a new band today (Best Coast; they play really fuzzy, really sappy girl songs). They're pretty good, and I hope I don't get sick of the music before long.
>> No. 17337 [Edit]
Tried going online last night. Ubuntu used up its entire partition of the hard drive to the kilobite, so Chromium kept closing out. I wiped my (probably virus ridden) sda2 partition so now a year and a half worth of files and programs are gone. The partition would not mount so I had little choice in the matter. Going to wipe the hard drive and start over now. I have some pics on a few flash drives. Not like it matters. What do I do with pics anyways? I get halfway through a file dump and just give up. Nothing was organised anyways. 

Now my network is doing to my itouch what it did to my computer: it won't send me any info from the internet unless it is a certain time. I know that the same viruses that affect a PC don't affect this iPod, and I know that they don't know I have this iPod, so it must be Comcast or the router firewalling me because it must not like a website I visit or some dumb ass shit. 

Back to the woods with me then. I am destined to be a fucking cow. 
>> No. 17338 [Edit]
Today i have to see my therapist which kind of sucks because she is getting on my nerves lately and I have to go to her two times a week and oh Haruhi I want to bitchslap her

On the other I got I new chair and it's super comfy
>> No. 17342 [Edit]
Kinda annoyed at myself for not sending something I've sold to a person in China on ebay through registered airmail. At first I thought I did but I don't have a fucking tracking number and I made the mistake of telling this person I did.
>> No. 17344 [Edit]
I choked on e-cock for tracker invites.

Now, anyone know of a good seedbox service?
>> No. 17349 [Edit]
The Communist Party will descend upon you.
>> No. 17350 [Edit]
Damaged an ant colony while pulling weeds. A bunch of ants poured out really fast. I felt kinda bad about it.
>> No. 17351 [Edit]
File 134922871830.jpg - (474.49KB , 850x856 , 1337825262677.jpg )
My mom got back from her trip to Mendoza today, and she brought enough candy to feed an entire city during halloween.
>> No. 17352 [Edit]
Went to work, got a desk, and was introduced to a few more people at my college. A few teachers said "congratulations!" to me, which made me feel better about myself. I had a surprisingly nice time -- after I had to be social, I got to spend a lot of time alone in a big computer lab doing mindless work. They don't let people drink soda in computer labs usually, but since I'm staff they don't care!

After that, my dad told me that he'd rented a nice apartment that I'd really like. "It's really big, three floors with three rooms! You'll love it," is what he said. Three bedrooms? Who's that third one for, I asked. Turns out that the ex-3DPD of his I despised most is moving in with him "for economical purposes." I told him that I was going to move out if he did live with her and her brat again, and well, I got a job and a degree and I'm an adult, so it looks like I'll be living on my own soon.

I spend most of my time spacing out alone on a computer already, so transitioning to a line of work (being the IT guy) that lets me do more of the same won't really be too bad, I tell myself.
>> No. 17353 [Edit]
Today I accepted a job offer after spending a week or two ruminating over it. I'll be working with signal processing and lots of numerical linear algebra - very autistic. It's only a 4 month offer, but it pays really well. I hate working but at least it's something tangible I can focus on to avert myself from more depressing and enervating things going on.

After I spent some time worried, over contemplating some strange thoughts I had about something, while also becoming a bit more lucid to the fact I've been aberrant in many ways lately. Went out for a little while again to do some things, bought some masala chai tea and calmed down. Once I got home I shrouded myself under a blanket and read some literary works by Dmitry Merezhkovsky, and watched someone in my family play League of Legends. It's a game I've only played a bit myself in the past, but I tried it again and did okay.

The rest of the evening I've spent cooking, reading work by Joseph de Maistre and wondering a lot of things.

Post edited on 3rd Oct 2012, 1:16am
>> No. 17354 [Edit]
Good job getting the job, man. Surely you'll be happier with some cash flowing in?

Today I wrote a lot. Like, from 1 AM to now. It's 4:23. And I intend to do more, after I finish this. It feels nice to write...Sometimes I feel as if I can make anything happen, with just a few colorful words. I can make a happy world, I can (try to) make a heart-wrenching story if I want to. I can influence emotion and I can create characters with only words. No need for painting or drawing, which I'm terrible at. The only real "con" I feel about writing is...language. It bothers me to think that English might someday be obsolete (it's a vague possibility, y'know? give it a couple thousand years). I wish there was some kind of universal language we all shared. But that's all stuff for the ponderings thread, I guess.

I should probably head to bed, but I don't really want to sleep...It's not that I'm not tired, I just don't want to curl up and basically die for 8-16 hours quite yet.

Post edited on 3rd Oct 2012, 1:37am
>> No. 17356 [Edit]
I finished my exercises and now I'm hungry. I want somebody to feed me!
>> No. 17357 [Edit]
Yesterday I read a lot. The day before that too, and hopefully I'll do the same today.
Recently I've been more aware of noise. People are so noisy. I can't be in crowds or anything, it gives me really bad headaches. What's strange is that I never really noticed it before. I think it's because I was always listening to music when in public, and lately I haven't listened to anything. Music sort of lost its charm.
>> No. 17358 [Edit]
I made noodles with eggs and spring rolls with sauce.
But I ate them
>> No. 17359 [Edit]
Once I tried making noodles with eggs but I failed so hard I can't even understand how I did that
>> No. 17360 [Edit]
If involves just about anything in a pan it is bound to be a disaster. I once failed to even make a quesadilla. It got too hard and everything fell out when I flipped it. But one time I somehow managed to do it right and it was delicious.
>> No. 17363 [Edit]
I'm not all bad at cooking, I can a make a pretty good omelette, chicken breast and some other things, but there are some others that are bound to end in disaster
>> No. 17364 [Edit]
Sorry about stupid triple post there. Feel free to delete the extra 2. Stupid mobile Internet does weird things sometimes.
>> No. 17365 [Edit]
incoming a very normal post I am sorry

Today was cool, I overheard my maths teacher praising me to my favourite biology teacher which really helped to calm me down. I've been feeling really anxious and on edge today which I haven't felt for some time.

Coming home my mum told me I had a letter from the vets at which I applied for work experience, sadly I was declined, though they say they'll contact me if anything comes up. Fat chance.

Time to watch anime and play vidya till I pass out.
>> No. 17370 [Edit]
I had a bandaid over some dry cracked skin so it wouldn't get infected, and when I took the bandaid off today it ripped a bit of skin off with it
>> No. 17373 [Edit]
Went to the doctor and she doubled the dosage of my antidepressives, also told me to start a routine with things like working out, studying a language and sleeping earlier because it will help me

Hopefully the higher dosage will give me the motivation to do these things
>> No. 17374 [Edit]
Just make sure you don't end up sleeping all day and night long like I do.
>> No. 17377 [Edit]
Tonight I found out from family member problem with pc is more complex than just power supply issue because it just got a blank screen with all fans running. They said they will try to rule out a graphics card issue tomorrow. They at least said the HD is ok which is a relief. Looks like I'm in another week of misery. I can't do anything right now, life seems to be on permanent stand by at the mercy of my family who probably grows more sick of me with every passing year. One problem goes down another comes up equally as crippling in it's place. I feel like a caged animal right now. I think this is the most hopeless and depressed I ever felt in my life. I can't enjoy anything feeling like this.
>> No. 17378 [Edit]
probably won't since i'm taking stimulants
>> No. 17379 [Edit]
Just bought a used (sweaty) gym shirt from a girl online.

I've hit rock bottom.
>> No. 17380 [Edit]
File 134932914371.jpg - (106.37KB , 1000x1000 , neko think.jpg )

Well that's dumb! It probably won't even fit
>> No. 17381 [Edit]
How much did you pay for it? How'd you end up in the market for one?
>> No. 17382 [Edit]
are you going to wear it?
>> No. 17383 [Edit]
It wouldnt be far off
Not too much. It's complicated.
I'm going to smell it and jerk off.
>> No. 17384 [Edit]
good luck man
>> No. 17385 [Edit]
File 134933157751.png - (189.09KB , 981x725 , moogis.png )
>> No. 17386 [Edit]
Burusera circa stuff? it's pretty dim, alright. I had some interest myself in getting a nice authentic pre-owned seifuku (or a sweet nymphet's bra) but never went as far as to look for it (and I spent it all in figures, so)...

Anyway: did it served its purpose, at least? was it good fetish fuel?
>> No. 17387 [Edit]
Those things of life: a few years ago I got my hands on a certain used bra (no aggression or deal involved), but no matter how careful you are clothes lose the smell sooner or later. It gets pretty dull, then.
>> No. 17388 [Edit]
So uh, today I ate some apple pie and played a video game
>> No. 17391 [Edit]
My day was rather prosaic but stressful. In the morning I had an appointment with my psychiatrist who put me on yet another mix of medications that "should help" - meaning it's more an experiment than a cogent treatment of any sort. The appointment time was confused and I ended up a couple hours early, forcing myself to waste time at a near by cafe which drove my anxiety to its limits. Once that finished I came home and wasted some time writing about Hegel and his predilection to the théorie du grand homme often prominent in his thought and its role on contemporary political concepts (namely fascism). Hegelianism is a philosophy I academically despise yet nonetheless find very interesting to study.

After, I went out and wasted a lot of money on a video card and installed that. I haven't yet played anything to test it out, but for what was paid it should run anything - quite excited to see what it can do. My elated mood eventually came to an end after learning of some terrible news, which has left me feeling very depressed though such feelings I must deny to myself. Instead I'll have to be as supportive as possible and try to help the person affected.

Life is so unrelenting.
>> No. 17392 [Edit]
I rearranged some figs and dig around in my over flowing closet for junk to toss out or sell online.
>> No. 17395 [Edit]
I have a strong fetish for certain types of clothing too. And I even went as far as buying one for jerking off. So you're not the only one who has hit rock bottom there. I have had them as long as I can remember.
>> No. 17398 [Edit]
I find women in formal man's outfits to be one of the most arousing things and I've recently found out that this a common taste.
>> No. 17400 [Edit]
File 134937854838.jpg - (756.49KB , 1000x1414 , stand stare.jpg )

I really like girls in blazers and a tie, which is why I'm glad anime in general is ditching the sailor style high school uniforms.
>> No. 17401 [Edit]
Finished reading Plato's Republic today. On to Naked Lunch.
>> No. 17405 [Edit]
lol good luck with that
>> No. 17406 [Edit]
Woke up to Subway, which was nice. It's been forever since I ate the delicious mass-produced sub. It was a little spicy, though. I think my tolerance for spicy foods has been broken.

Also filled the Jones soda bottle I was using as a ghetto astray. It's a bottle of nasty cigarette butts and ice cream sandwich wrappers and spit. I lead such an unhealthy life...

Now I'm waiting for my download of RE2 to copy, and I'm probably going to play that until I get bored.
>> No. 17407 [Edit]
Today some girl in a class said "thank you" to me and I couldn't even reply. I kept blankly staring into the void in front me until it was too late to reply.
>> No. 17410 [Edit]
That's probably for the best. Returning the communication would only encourage them to continue bothering you.

Personally, I just nod slightly in those kinds of situations. That way it doesn't appear that I'm being rude, but it's still pretty clear that I don't feel like talking.
>> No. 17427 [Edit]
Yesterday I looked at apartments with my family. Today I'm going to go pick up keys to my own little place. It's pre-furnished, utilities are paid for, there's a laundry machine in the basement... oh yeah, and it's only five or so blocks away from my job I picked up on Tuesday that's been great.

I may not be a NEET anymore, but I'm free of my family. Let's see how things go from here~ Today I just sit in my office and take it easy, boss is gone again and the guy who's above me told me just to relax. Guess I'll download DOTA 2 and pretend I'm a NEET still once he leaves.
>> No. 17433 [Edit]
Mom forced me to go out and buy clothes. She made me walk around all the mall looking for "different" clothes even though I sort of know which stores have clothing I consider acceptable.
Chose a few just so I could get out of there quick.
>> No. 17434 [Edit]
Today I went in for my first day of work. Got to pick out an office and learn a bit about the place, then got to thinking: I'm not really sure why I took the job to begin with. I'm really well off money wise, so I guess it's more just a way to fill time. I'm really anxious, but it's work I'm comfortable doing so it should be easy.

Doing that gave me a bad headache, so I had a tiny nap, paid rent for another month, and am passively studying some philosophy by a guy called Bernard Stiegler.
>> No. 17435 [Edit]
My mom finally bought a dustbuster. Once it's charged I can finally sweep up the dust that is caked on everything except my computer desk
>> No. 17436 [Edit]
Found out that I can maximize my writing output by offering myself a cigarette and 30 minutes of video games for every 3-5 pages. This way I can be at least semi-productive. Now I just need to find a way to apply this to my life, and I should be good.

Other than that, today was mundane...
Woke up, showered, hung out on the porch, had some pizza...Same as most days.
>> No. 17437 [Edit]
She wouldn't continue talking to me - she was walking towards her seat.
I could had at least nodded but apparently I've forgotten all my manners.
>> No. 17438 [Edit]
Felt really homesick during the past few days, but my mom was in town for some event related to her job and I got to see her in the first time in a while. It was nice to be able to spend some time with her. Never thought I'd miss home so much.

I think it might snow here tonight.
>> No. 17439 [Edit]
Couldn't pick up keys to my own little apartment just yet, but filled out a bunch of paperwork and dropped some dosh anyway.

Yare yare... now I'll just play DOTA2 until Jojo's subbed I guess..
>> No. 17441 [Edit]
Went for a job interview. And now I have a job. And I'm feeling depressed as shit.
>> No. 17442 [Edit]
>but I'm free of my family
The days I spent away from family in an apartment eating ice-cream sandwiches and listening to Bee Gees were the best days in my life. Not once had I ever been that calm. A mellow little sun shone warmly in my stomach every day. Savor that very own mancave of yours.
>> No. 17443 [Edit]
>own apartment
>> No. 17446 [Edit]
Did some stupid things which made me stay in bed for a long while, so I just read and listened to music mostly. Then at sunset I went out for a walk. The park was deserted and the sky was dark grey. It helped me relax. Then I came home, read some more and slept. I think I'll sleep some more soon. I'm taking it easy.
>> No. 17447 [Edit]
I went to the hospital because I thought I might have sinus pilonidalis/pilonidal cys (warning, if you plan to google it, it looks pretty disgusting. It's basically abscess near tailbone). Nurse took look at it and she said it isn't it, it is just abrasion. She inspected me a while and said that I have extra big tailbone and that might be cause of abrasion.
>> No. 17448 [Edit]
The past couple nights I had a extremely annoying sore in my mouth in my lower lip. It's really puffed up, and the top is flat and white like a plate made of pain in my mouth. Can I ever have a single period of time where there isn't something stupidly painful going on in or on my body somewhere?
>> No. 17449 [Edit]
finally made a pixiv account so I can save shitloads of pics of my waifu
>> No. 17450 [Edit]
Drank a lot, played a bit of SNES, bought a stupid domain (http://www.frideynight.com), and now I feel really really sick.
>> No. 17451 [Edit]
>bought a stupid domain (http://www.frideynight.com)

why would you do that
>> No. 17452 [Edit]
I had those all over the inside of my lower lip for the last week. They just started going away yesterday. Taking some benadryl and using some listerine a few times a day kind of helped in my case, the huge amounts of pain went away after a day or two of using that stuff. Maybe it'll help you too.
>> No. 17453 [Edit]

Too much money to waste.
>> No. 17454 [Edit]
Mouth ulcers you mean? I get absolutely huge ones once a month or two, the size of a 1p coin most of the time. I have bad mouth hygiene even if I brush my teeth twice a day. A good thing to numb it I find is something sold over here in the UK as 'benzydamine hydrochloride' which I'm sure you could find in any drug store if you asked. Rinse around like mouth wash but do not swallow, numbs it.

Also, cover them in salt until the stinging goes away. Will numb them hardcore too.

Today my cats bought in a frog and I had to get the poor thing outside before there was frog inside everywhere. Then my mum let them outside again and they bought it back in. Damn thing didnt get outside the garden in an hour or two...sigh.
Buy me a fig
>> No. 17455 [Edit]
Attempted to circuit-bend an old cassette walkman but now it won't work since I can't figure out how to reconnect the battery-resistor. Pretty annoyed I can't find the schematic for the damn thing. Well, I did eventually but I really don't spend money on a fucking PDF file.
>> No. 17456 [Edit]
Supernova 8 is terrible. I feel slightly terrible because of this.
>> No. 17457 [Edit]
File 13495598625.jpg - (91.72KB , 502x400 , 1327780744555.jpg )
I took the bus when coming back from my dad's house and twisted my ankle as I was getting down. I had to limp my way home.
>> No. 17459 [Edit]
Spent most of the day cleaning my room. It made me realize how awfully ugly it is, so I'm going to try and redecorate it. I like being busy with something, it really helps me keep my mind of other more depressing things.
>> No. 17462 [Edit]
My room is pretty nice to me but there is some old shit in it I really want to get rid of and replace with like a nice poster or something. I guess some other parts of it I can edit to my liking but I don't have the money to do that right now. I just got done throwing more money into the blackhole that is music collecting today. In today's Internet purchase I got 2 pretty expensive albums but I'm glad I did. Supreme Show by Ami Suzuki (probably just expensive because import.) and +\- by Ryoji Ikeda. Pricey but worth it for me. With every album I purchase I inch just a little closer to completing my collection. I should start saving up for more expensive rare stuff. But then all of a sudden some artist releases a new album I want that really blows me away and I become slightly dissapointed in a way as it's like taking one step forward and then one step back so your back where you started just with less money.
>> No. 17464 [Edit]
It dawned on me that by running away from home at a young age to get away from some troubles, I subjected someone else to the same thing. How can I live with myself? I'm really fucking selfish and lie far too much. I don't really deserve to live.

Post edited on 7th Oct 2012, 3:32am
>> No. 17466 [Edit]
I tried to remove the keys of my keyboard so I could clean the inside part because it had too much dust accumulated in it. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't have believed the horrors that lurked in there if I had not seen it with my own eyes.
>> No. 17468 [Edit]
Tried? Were you not succesful?

You might want to look into washing your keyboards in a dishwasher. I did it a few days ago and they're as clean as new.
>> No. 17469 [Edit]
A dishwasher? Won't that break them by filling them with water and soap?
>> No. 17475 [Edit]
File 134964760359.jpg - (446.72KB , 1280x854 , VolvoValp1.jpg )
I saw one of these mean little fuckers out in the farmlands. They only run at 1-3k, so it's a definite future buy.
>> No. 17476 [Edit]
looks cool
>> No. 17477 [Edit]
Don't use soap. Dousing electronics in water might sound dumb, but it works:


Also, if it's not extremely dirty, you might not need a dishwasher - you can probably get just about all of the dirt by briefly washing it with water by hand.
>> No. 17478 [Edit]
I went and saw a female shut-in otaku who gave me a bunch of books on philosophy. That was all that happened, she shoved the books into my hands and ran off.

On the way home I stopped at a military surplus store and got some cool junk. If anyone lives near one of those, I recommend stopping by and grabbing some stuff -- military uniforms are cheap, warm, and comfortable! They look pretty cool too I think.
>> No. 17479 [Edit]
>They look pretty cool too I think.
Not on nerds.
>> No. 17480 [Edit]
I cut the grass a bit. The lawnmower wouldn't start, so I had to use the weed-eater for the first time. It made my left arm all shaky and numb, but I think that's finally starting to wear off.
>> No. 17484 [Edit]
>saw a shut-in

How exactly? Did you go to her home? Why would she give you free books?
>> No. 17485 [Edit]
Was really bored so I watched The Walking Dead, some TV show about zombies. I really enjoyed it, downloading the second season right now.

I also have a huge project due in 4 days that counts for 12% of my marks that I haven't even started. Shikata ga nai
>> No. 17488 [Edit]
I spent the morning with my sister shopping for houses, but without any results again. It nonsensical to move right now anyways, so such setbacks are a good way to coerce her otherwise.

After that, I don't remember a thing. I was told I kept having conversations with my hallucinations, though I can't recall any of it. When my memory of events or entire days starts to fade away into nothing, it tends to mean my disease is getting worse and I fall back to my addictions and intents to destroy myself. While it's something I've grown used to, I've never been able to perceive why. Any time I begin to feel hopeful or happy for something in life, the pastiche of voices and personalities in my mind go out of their way to deny it to me by any means possible.

I start my new job soon (was supposed to be today, but just got told to not bother - it's a holiday and they figure there is no point), but I've already become really anxious about it and fear I'll fuck it up. The last one I tried ended after no more than 2 weeks when I shamefully quit and ran out of the building. However this one is a job I am comfortable doing so hopefully it doesn't once again result in extirpation.
>> No. 17489 [Edit]
File 134970076132.jpg - (116.49KB , 800x600 , 2kizhi_pogost2.jpg )
So, I wrote out this entire post, and accidentally closed Firefox, so the abridged version will do (it was superfluously long).

Thought I had skin cancer, but it turns out I just have Becker's Nevus. I'm honestly the most relieved I've been in my life, because dying of cancer is my deepest fear. Especially as a NEET. Becker's Nevus is just gross as shit (and even then, mine isn't too bad).

I also faced the realization of my own death, and came to the conclusion that I don't want to die without seeing Kizhi Pogost (and Rome). The former is a wooden church in Russia. Made completely out of wood, without any nails. Like Lincoln logs, just significantly more creative.

Although honestly, I'm hoping for some GiTS-esque technology to become available in the distant future, so that I can have a full-implant loli-cyborg body (seriously, I'd give anything in my life to be even a failed experiment for that kind of technology).

And I played Valkyria Chronicles II way too much and drank a teeny bit, finishing the bottle of tequila I had been going at for the past week or so.
>> No. 17497 [Edit]
I started going to a gym again. The atmosphere of Ford Drivergotry makes me feel uneasy, but I like lifting weights and it's good to be on move again instead of rotting away on my bed. Seems like these meds are finally giving me the motivation to do things.
>> No. 17514 [Edit]
Congratulations on not dying. I actually really want to die, but not to cancer. That would be really shitty
>> No. 17515 [Edit]
I'm a huge gym rat, find a 24 hour gym and go in the early morning (2-5 am). No ford driver idiots, all equipment is free, the only people there are there to do real workouts, not chat or do the baby curling shit that the kids who want to be popular do.

And if you ever get discouraged, remember that the stronger you are, the better you can protect your waifu. Looking good for her doesn't hurt either.
>> No. 17516 [Edit]
If I were to go to a gym I'd probably be able to get twice if not three times stronger than just "working out" in my room.

I don't want to leave my room, much less go outside. So I'll stick to doing my pathetic pushups, crunches, and situps. At least i am seeing some results from this.
>> No. 17519 [Edit]
I tried to find one, but seems like there isn't one in this shitty little city. My gym stays open from 6am to 10pm. Maybe I'll start waking 5am and haul my ass to the gym as early as possible, I doubt there will be many jackasses at that time

I don't think I'll get discouraged so easily. Like I said, I enjoy doing it. And yeah, I'm doing it for her.
>> No. 17521 [Edit]
Yesterday I went to work and chatted on IRC all day. Then I went out to eat with my dad and spent some time walking around since it was nice. I can't remember where I really walked to, but just spending time out felt alright.

You should tell your doctor and consider going to the hospital! It'd be terrible if you started doing heroin or whatever again (if you are that guy). Hmm, looking at >>16177 it seems like your illness gets bad around the start of the month for some reason, maybe you're really a werewolf and you're especially sensitive to last quarter moons? wwwwwwwwww

I'm glad you're not dying, brohno! Celebrate that somehow, ww . Get your mom to buy you that new book you've had your eye on or something, I'm sure she's relieved you don't have cancer too.
>> No. 17524 [Edit]
6AM is pretty good too. Gym I go opens 6AM too and there are only few old people this early. Just have headphones on all the time so you don't need to listen other people talking. May I ask what kind of workout routine you are doing?

>I'm a huge gym rat,
I've always thought "gym rat" means person who just goes to gym, never works out, just talks to everyone.

For home work out, you should check http://scoobysworkshop.com/
He has nice guides for beginners who want to work out in home and some other useful health related articles/videos. (Expect skateboard squat, don't try it)
>> No. 17528 [Edit]
I'll try going 6AM someday. I don't usually wake up this early, but fuck it.
I'm doing a 4-day split.
>> No. 17529 [Edit]
>And if you ever get discouraged, remember that the stronger you are, the better you can protect your waifu. Looking good for her doesn't hurt either.
That's my motivation.
>> No. 17531 [Edit]
Everything is slowly falling apart again.
>> No. 17535 [Edit]
In begin it might be hard, but when you start waking up earlier, you want to go bed earlier too.
>> No. 17563 [Edit]
Yesterday I had to go to some lawyer's office for some stuff that my mom wants me to do. Apparently I'm going to be interrogated for a while later on for some pieces of paper. I don't like the idea and don't really want to do it, but I don't have much of a choice.

Tomorrow I have to see my new psychiatrist. The last one retired or something and I've only met this new one once. I hope that I can just make him think that I have some ADD and depression so that he can leave me the fuck alone. I'm a little nervous about the whole thing, though.

Things just keep getting more and more complicated.
>> No. 17569 [Edit]
Thank you.
>> No. 17582 [Edit]
I discovered my cat gets high with scotch tape.

I wonder if it's bad for him...
>> No. 17585 [Edit]
Moved a few boxes of books and clothing and shit to my new apartment. My dad gave me some plates and pans and stuff too. Now I'll be totally alone... no parents, no sister, no pets. Finally! (Will miss my kitty though.) Turns out there was a wireless network open in my building, so I'm moochin' off that tonight. Just came home to get my alarm clock and a blanket. I'm not done moving yet, but it's nice to spend time in my new place.

Edgy as FUCK dude. Keep posting so you can look back at yourself a year from now and laugh. Do you even read what you're saying before you hit the little reply button, kid?
>> No. 17592 [Edit]
I loved living alone(though I also missed my kittens). Very invogorating.
>> No. 17595 [Edit]
I had to sit through a presentation given to me and a lot of people about the chance to sign up for community service in the week holiday coming up. Who is stupid enough to sign up for that?

The guy then said that there will be people who are NEET there and I thought I might meet some guy people like the ones here. Then I remembered most UK NEET are disgusting inbred chavs and thought it was a bad idea.
>> No. 17596 [Edit]
Today, after spending four weekends in a row going to concerts, casinos and hotels, my mother has the gall to demand I start selling my inheritance and give it to her. I am given "until the end of the month" to sell two dolls a month and give the money to her.

Donedonedonedonedonedone. Nothing is worth throwing money at her so she can waste it on red bull and cigarettes and gambling trips with her deadbeat fatass sixteen-year-unemployed wife. Trying to get in contact with my father so I can get the hell out. My grandmother would have flipped he lid over this and told me not to give in to the demands. That money is NOT my mother's and she will NOT get away with trying to make me depend on her more. Nothing is worth this. Nothing. My plan is January or sooner, I will be gone. And to the last place she wants me going. She can't be going to concerts and HaruhiDAMN GAMBLING AND STAYING IN FIVE STAR HOTELS and claim to be having money issues because of me (when my meals and Internet come from the renter and my mother never pays for anything but cheap gifts on my birthday and Christmas). I will resent this woman for the rest of my Haruhidamn life.
>> No. 17597 [Edit]
I pirated Sibelius to see how what the fuss was all about since it is so popular. I can't believe a program that calls itself the best music notation program doesn't have 64th notes, it doesn't even compute them if you import a midi file. How archaic can it even be?
>> No. 17601 [Edit]
Don't sell them, then call the police on her if she does. I'm sorry, I hope your dad has a place for you.
>> No. 17606 [Edit]
Always wanted to try Sibelius but I get the impression that it's aimed mostly at classical music aficionados or people with music degrees.
>> No. 17617 [Edit]
Had a panic attack for the first time and it was in public. Now I have even more reason to loathe myself.
>> No. 17619 [Edit]
I was too quick to judge Sibelius, the program is far more useful and has far more resources than what I initially imagined, turns out I could find them because it is equally complex. I guess using Sibelius instead of, lets say, Muse Score, isn't as much as target a classical music audience as much as anyone who needs more resources for notation than what most of other programs give.

The instrument's sounds are shit though, you should use Cubase 5 for that.

Post edited on 11th Oct 2012, 5:01pm
>> No. 17622 [Edit]
tough shit when that happens
>> No. 17623 [Edit]
I'd really like to quit smoking. It's just so unhealthy. I've been chain-smoking for more or less two straight months, so it's not going to be easy. But it'd be worth it, I guess.

Other than that, today was okay. I ended up staying up for over 20 hours, and that brought me to a really weird place. I ended up looking up synopses of films by Harmony Korine (the shittiest human being alive, and one of a handful of people who made me lose faith in 3D movies) and crying on my back porch because of how helpless everything seemed. It was cathartic.

I also realize that, anywhere else on the net, I wouldn't feel comfortable at all telling people this kind of shit. Tohno-chan is special like that.
>> No. 17625 [Edit]
Ever tried Finale? I'd rather use MuseScore because it's free and the free Finale sucks ass.
But the most complete Finale is the best notation program I could ever pirate(not that I tried many).
>> No. 17626 [Edit]
File 135001228821.jpg - (9.46KB , 169x108 , Spoiler Picture.jpg )
I have not but yes, Muse Score is very useful.
>> No. 17636 [Edit]
>I ended up looking up synopses of films by Harmony Korine (the shittiest human being alive, and one of a handful of people who made me lose faith in 3D movies)

Gummo's pretty good.
>> No. 17639 [Edit]
File 135003851022.jpg - (238.61KB , 1200x1600 , Spoiler Picture.jpg )
If you have some problems with 4-day split, I suggest you try "Arnold's Golden Six". It is one-day split and it has 6 core moves. It's good routine for beginners and it will make you look like a greek statue.
>> No. 17640 [Edit]
Actually, I'll be doing a 2-day split for now. Let's see how it goes.
>> No. 17643 [Edit]
So I responded to my decision to quit smoking by rolling cigarettes for most of the night.

Other than that, today was good. Got really into Manic Street Preachers. I've been listening to them a bit since a couple of years ago, but I was never this into them. A guy (named Richey Edwards) from the band disappeared. I think I'd like to disappear someday. Just move to like, some obscure Eastern European country, and not tell anyone where I'm going. I listened to them all morning and read a bit about his disappearance.

And I need to stay up until at least 9 PM to normalize my sleep schedule. 9 more hours to go.

Going to download K episode 2 and Robotics;Notes as well. That should keep me distracted for like...an hour.
>> No. 17647 [Edit]
I did the same today as in the last couple of days: absolutely nothing. The days should be longer. I sleep for most of them and when I'm trying to convince myself I should do something, it's suddenly the middle of the night and I'm sleepy.

My cat is sleeping on my lap, I just had some tea, and I'm warm though, so it's an enjoyable friday night. I might read something, watch some anime if I can force myself to get up, and research some things that interest me tonight. I feel so much more peaceful at night.
>> No. 17649 [Edit]
There's a cotten-like thing floating in my juice.

I suggest that everybody here avoid most Coca-Cola products like their Minute Maid juice (orange and other). Hell, just avoid everything that they make since it's likely to be riddled with some sort of fungicide.
>> No. 17651 [Edit]
I was drinking some orange soda in a glass bottle once, and before I drank it I noticed there was a weird white substance floating in it. It probably wasn't anything but I didn't drink it and never got that kind since
>> No. 17654 [Edit]
I enjoy drinking coke now and then, but then again coke and water is all I ever drink. I never happened to find any kind of unexpected substance in my drinks my entire life.
>> No. 17658 [Edit]
I never experienced anything like this, but I stopped drinking soda anyway because it tastes like cancer
>> No. 17659 [Edit]
I've noticed now that I've been 2-3 months without soda drinks, I don't even want to drink them anymore. I just drink carbonated mineral water and of course normal water.
>> No. 17660 [Edit]
I have and had a much more disgusting experience. One time I was really thirsty and didn't want any water. So I went in the garage and found a bottle of Powerade Zero just sitting on a cooler. I figured it couldn't be that old if no one touched it yet and I didn't mind if it was a little warm. So I open it and take a sip without a second thought and it tasted disgustingly sweet. So I take off the label to check it and inside was one of the most vomit inducing sights I ever seen. There was this huge, white, hairy looking, spore like thing floating in it. Needless to say I never drank Powerade ever again. I have no clue what it could have possibly been.
>> No. 17664 [Edit]
I know exactly what you are talking about.

I have seen it on a few things. Mostly things that contain fruit juice and such. Like strawberries and syrup, lemon iced tea, old peaches. It always looks so Haruhidamn awful. I couldn't imaginegoing through consuming it.
>> No. 17665 [Edit]
Today is my birthday, I turned 20 but I want to go backwards. I'll still have a nice day though. If I'm lucky I may get some Amazon gift cards on the bright side. Also got my pc back last night and downloaded a massive amount of music I was going to before it went out on me. Happy to at least be back on track here.
>> No. 17666 [Edit]
I feel the same way. I never asked to grow up.
>> No. 17667 [Edit]
Happy birthday anon, hope you make the best of it.

Post edited on 13th Oct 2012, 10:47am
>> No. 17668 [Edit]
birthdays aren't so bad until you hit 25, then you really dread them. Each one after being harder to deal with.

Try to have some fun. You don't sound too down so that is good.
>> No. 17670 [Edit]
Happy birthday. I'll turn 20 in a month, and I know how you feel.
>> No. 17671 [Edit]
coming up to 25 here, but I've been dreading them for a few years now, and it doesn't help when you got no friends or anyone to give a shit when it's your birthday.
>> No. 17672 [Edit]
What are you two talking about? When you hit 20, the worst years of your life are over. You won't be a dirty teen again until you're 113. Be happy about it, little one.
>> No. 17673 [Edit]
When you're a kid, you're able to get away with a lot of shit adults can't, including not having to work.
once you hit 21, your body more or less starts to slowly fall apart. as you get a bit older, you start to realize you're just getting closer and closer to death.
>> No. 17675 [Edit]
Yeah that's exactly what my feeling about 20 and forward are. When you hit 30 life really ends. There is nothing to be desired at this point for me, it just keeps getting more undesirable. 20 is not young despite what most people think.
>> No. 17677 [Edit]
Today I looked around for light programs to use on my shitty computer. I found elinks. I'm currently using it, simply because it is for some reason hilarious. cmus is pretty neat, too, and newsbeuter.
>> No. 17678 [Edit]
Happy birthday!
>> No. 17680 [Edit]
That's incredibly depressing.

I'm almost 25 and will be this month. Feels really bad. I don't know what will happen, but the thought of my body falling apart sucks.
>> No. 17682 [Edit]
File 135018847396.jpg - (84.86KB , 460x276 , Humbert H_.jpg )
25 is the limit only if you're a 3DPD who means to get married (or so says Konata). 27 was the ultimate limit I considered for a man, because of all the rockstar crap and alike (actors, poets, artists, etc.). But I've been 28 for a while now, and guess what? is not that bad, not at all. Like >>17672 said, one can finally leave all the teenage angst and cheap romantic crap behind... as we get into the middle age crisis, in order to prepare orselves for the senior age way more classy kind of kinks.
>> No. 17683 [Edit]
I have been that way for many, many years, but for me turning 25 really messed me up. I don't really remember that day as I drank quite a bit of liquor.

The last few birthdays have been about as bad, but I do better distracting myself. The month long lead up to it not so much...

I made it to 30 recently, and somehow still here.
>> No. 17684 [Edit]
The thought of still being alive when I'm 30 makes me sick.

And on-topic: Today I found out the New York Times website's 10 articles a month paywall resets whenever I empty my sandbox.
>> No. 17685 [Edit]
Your bodies aren't "falling apart" when you're 20, guys. Be happy that you're not still a pathetic little teenager and feel bad that you're still so young.
>> No. 17688 [Edit]
>and feel bad that you're still so young

>> No. 17689 [Edit]
This past week has been absolute hell. So many lies and disappointments, given and received. Just going to watch anime until I can't watch it anymore and forget about things.
>> No. 17690 [Edit]
>once you hit 21, your body more or less starts to slowly fall apart. as you get a bit older, you start to realize you're just getting closer and closer to death.
Not really. Males' physical health peak is at age 30. After that everything in body starts to get worse.
>> No. 17692 [Edit]
The weather cleared today, it was sunny and cool, so I went out for a walk. Tried to find a quiet place, but couldn't. Eventually I found a decent spot where I could sit down and watch the sunset. Looked at some pics of my waifu I had on my cellphone, and wished she was with me.
>> No. 17694 [Edit]
Today was one of the best days I had in a while.

Firstly, I left the house for once. Which was...a pretty big deal. It has been at least 5 months since I last left on a social call.

Secondly, I got [drugs]80mg of Vyvanse in total. Plus 5mg of Methylin, which will help ease the crash when it comes.[/drugs]

Thirdly, I hung out with my only two 3D friends. We went to the local comic shop and played Magic, which turned out to be both really easy and really tedious while spun.

And one of my friends, who's a bad driver (reckless; I'd love to do a Fear and Loathing-esque thing with him - a mad dash through miles of uncivilized desert), drove pretty decently for most of the day, which was a nice change of pace.

So yeah. Fucking awesome day.
>> No. 17714 [Edit]
Slept for most of the day because I felt sick. Woke up and took a few painkillers and some cold medicine before taking a shower.

I hate being sick.
>> No. 17719 [Edit]
Drank a BOTTLE of scotch
Got really angry and shouted a bunch on voice chat
Blacked out and woke up naked in my attic
Started barfing TONS durign my black out time
Woke up and drank some gin

Stayed up all night feeling sick and anxious about my life
Went to work about half an hour early, dressed up and cleaned up nice
Got off work and bought some new shit for my apartment
Hung out there for a while writing in my diary
Came back home because my internet's here
Made rice in a tea pot 'cuz my saucepan and shit's at my apartment
Took my dog for a walk while eating rice out of a tea pot and got drenched in this shitty weather
Went to my apartment and cried about my life ;_;
>> No. 17730 [Edit]
Discovered a fun little program called Oblige, which generates Doom maps. I spent maybe an hour or two seeing what kind of stuff this thing could spit out. Procedural generation is so interesting...
>> No. 17742 [Edit]
I've been playing with it too, its absolutely horrifying at times.

A completely empty arena with 20 cyberdemons, spider demons, and a crap load of other enemies? I pooped myself.
>> No. 17744 [Edit]
My SSI appointment is today. Has been on my mind for awhile. spoilers are drug related

Before that, some things I've done today...
Few minutes ago on a walk in the park I almost ran into two people, right after almost falling off a short bridge. Should really be careful walking in the pitch black. That got me thinking that I *might* be one of those creepers people say to watch out for walking at night, I'm probably too weak. I look like somewhat of a bum, and sometimes under the effect of stuff, often pacing around randomly in a public park at night. Nightwalks are better than day, not giving a fuck.

Other than that I did some writing practice with some random japs. Rarely actually do this though, not even sure why. Writing my thoughts out in a different language can be fun. My reading and writing have made some improvements it seems. That's it though... I'll never be able to speak nippon, I STILL can't even understand when others speak.

Later, I'm going to make progress on my quest to get SSI.
First, I have a doc appointment, 10 hours until the doc, 12 hours until an SSI related over-the-phone interview. Doc's appointment should be easy if these side effects go away. Wide open eyes and slightly foaming mouth will stand out. SSI interview will be a new situation, unknown questions,etc. therefore scary etc.

I honestly have no clue what I'm going to answer with when they ask me about my "disability", "why it prevents me from working",etc... Aspergers and social anxiety doesn't sound like a very solid reason. My cousin had to go through court, get a lawyer, etc. No way I'm doing that shit though, if it comes to that I'm giving up.

This interview was actually supposed to happen last week, I really fucked up and skipped it. Almost lost whatever chance of getting on disability... or so said the lady that's "helping with my case". She seemed pretty mad over the phone.

Though that only happened because of stupidity with my meds, planning ahead this time.was only on 15mg, which is just 1/3 of my prescribed daily dose. Playing borderlands 2 with my bro allowed me to save up 4 days worth of the stuff. I've downed 105mg of adderall IR today, two 15mg pills every 30min. Then to prevent me from avoiding my business, I'll be taking another huge dose before my first appointment. My daily dose is 15mg 3 times daily. Confirmed that I won't avoid this.

Getting any amount free money monthly would be a nice bonus to have, while I take my sweet time with job searching.
Only reason I'd want friends is for when I'm using my stuff, two NEETs on it would be some fun. Too bad I'm a friendless aspie. Large doses of amphetamine actually make me want to talk to others, like seek them out, leave my house. Scary how close to being a normal high doses can make me. No one would even guess I'm a shutin. After waking up my anxiety returns at full force. then I get the cringe inducing memories of me in situations I'd normally avoid at all costs.
I want to try out stronger stimulants someday, if prescription shit that anybody can get does THAT, illegal ones must be pretty badass.
If disability is granted to me, I'll use tax payer's money to buy that shit. Surely the tax payers wouldn't mind assisting me in temp. curing anxiety. Can't do it with this neet budget.

Part 2 ...because I forgot to click submit. chance to add some extra shit I thought about.

I was thinking that ME getting disability would be funny. As far as I know my health is perfect, have access to stuff to fix my only problem, even tried to apply for jobs, not my fault nobody hires me. With that I could leech tax payers without any guilt. SSI is somewhere in the $600-$700, more than I thought. Curious to see if food stamps is also included. That one lady mentioned "helping my case", no idea what that means.

I'm going to be paying attention to what kind of questions, etc, and of course how badly I think I fucked up. Most likely won't tell me my real result until laterr. Way later.
blogpost so tooo long, might be boring as hell.

I'm going to post again after my interview, might be able to answer questions from fellow NEETs or soemthing

Post edited on 16th Oct 2012, 6:00am
>> No. 17746 [Edit]
Best of luck to you.

I hope everything works out for you.
>> No. 17747 [Edit]
Went to the dentist today.

My teeth have always been terrible, so nothing they said was of any surprise to me. One is going to end up getting pulled because it is too close to another, apparently. It's in the back of my mouth, though, so it probably won't affect much.

Also, I'm pretty sure my body is fucking up. Blood comes from a place it probably shouldn't. Not often, though, and it isn't like a constant stream of blood, or I would have gone to the hospital. Or bled out before I could have, but it still weighs on my mind.

I miss talking with you guys.
>> No. 17751 [Edit]
You should get that checked. Doesn't sound like it's very pleasant
>> No. 17753 [Edit]
Is that place your anus?
>> No. 17760 [Edit]
I went to the get "interrogated" and was asked a bunch of questions. I didn't feel all that bad until the layer blurted out "he has schizophrenia or something" in a very "put down"-ish kind of way. After that and being humiliated about being a NEET and if I had a GED and shit like that that I became depressed while they sorted the rest of the shit with my mother.

I didn't even do much to make myself seem like a retard, hell, I even answered their questions and looked them in the eye and everything like a normal does. It wasn't until my problems came up that I was considered a retard by everyone in the room.
>> No. 17761 [Edit]
I wish I could die. Alternatively, I wish I could take a train and sleep my way to somewhere far away.
>> No. 17762 [Edit]
I'm cold. It's 5°C outside and the heating doesn't work. To give you an idea of how cold it is, one of my hard drives is idling at 22°C. They usually idle at around 35-40°C.
>> No. 17764 [Edit]
What's stopping you from doing the latter?
>> No. 17768 [Edit]
There are no trains in my country.
>> No. 17769 [Edit]
I love trains. I'd like to just ride them for the rest of my life. But on the inside. I don't want to be a homeless person or something. If there was a way I could own a private train, and travel around on the railroads, then I'd have something going.

I acquired my state ID today. It's like, a month later than I intended to get it. But still. Now I can get started on life beyond my bedroom. Pretty excited about that. Although the car ride there was horrible...I always end up in a really bad argument with my mother whenever I get into a vehicle with her, and this time was no different.

I also realized I use the words "though", "like" and "dunno" way too much. Basically, I talk like a teenage girl. That should change. So every time I use one of those words in excess, I'm going to flog myself. Not really, though.

The day started out kind of shitty, but I feel better now. Definitely cheered up substantially within the last hour. I don't even know why. I'm actually really craving cigarettes and I'm too sleepy considering I got a solid 10 hours last night. But still. It's gotten better since going to the DMV.

I've also begun playing Haruhis Eater Burst, which is actually pretty fun. However, I think it's just a Monster Hunter rip-off. Made it to the end of the second chapter. Of course I'm playing as a girl. Although I'm hung up on what weapon to choose - I keep shifting between the 3 choices of sword-type.
>> No. 17770 [Edit]
I wish it was colder right now or at least colder and beyond October since the temperatures for it can be so weird that I don't even know if it's warm or cold and I don't like this month anyways. I like one extreme or the other. I don't really mind November since it is just getting cold and staying there. I never know what to expect from the temperature and it drives me crazy sometimes.
>> No. 17771 [Edit]
Got my ID picture taken today. I thought I was smiling, but I wasn't orz
>> No. 17772 [Edit]
My ID pic looks one those mugshots of a serial killer.
I'm not vert photogenic
>> No. 17773 [Edit]
Someone recommended looking into hospital work, so I've been looking into it today, along with night jobs at a few places. It hasn't gone well. Having no references or work experience, and only a few years of school, really hurts finding a job I could live on up here.


I've already accepted that if it gets worse I'll go to the hospital, but since it has happened before and went away, I'll wait and see what happens, even if it is a pain in the ass. HAH. Ok, that was bad.
>> No. 17775 [Edit]
Don't worry you're not the only one. I am the definition of that in any more serious pictures taken of me. I just look evil. Can't stand to look at any of them.
>> No. 17779 [Edit]
I talked to someone online in (my attempt at) Esperanto about Chinese/Japanese characters. It felt so good to finally have someone to talk to! Language is not an ideal interest for people who are not social.
>> No. 17780 [Edit]
I managed to get some work done at my job today. My boss is in Atlanta so motivation to work on stuff iss difficult, especially when I don't understand something. I just try to go at my own pace. I also got started on a huge chunk of my backlog today, so I'm feeling happy of that. I might lay down for a quick15-30 min nap soon, then work on sorting a bunh of cards I have.

Sadly I have to go to bed between 10 and midnight, as this new job forces me up at 6. I really didn't want a job in the first place, but I figure taking it was the best option since they approached me with the offer, not the other way around. Wish me luck in my work endeavors
>> No. 17781 [Edit]
Good luck on your path into slavery...

However, you may get some bucks for figs if you're interested on that stuff (and save for it).
>> No. 17782 [Edit]
Going to my new apartment, where I will be without internet for a little while.
>> No. 17783 [Edit]
Well, luckily for me, I still live at home with no expenses. It's also only a part time job at 19-20 hours a week, but it pays $10 an hour, so really, it's not too bad. I still have classes after work, but it's only two classes total this semester, and after this winter, I am done with school forever. Since I don't have any expenses, if I still have this job after I finish school, I'll just keep it at 19-20 hours a week to keep my sanity and have a bit of money to both save and spend.

To be honest, figs aren't really my thing. I'm more of a plushie person (and there's quite a lot of plushies of my waifu and her friends), but hey, money for waifu-stuff is still money for waifu-stuff right?
>> No. 17786 [Edit]
I've basically lost my mind over the last week. Ruined so many things, lost so many things, regret so many things. Just another repetitive juncture in life. Doctor says I have dissociative identity disorder on top of my schizophrenia which is just fucking great. Tell me more please, maybe that I'm dead and none of it's real. Worst of all is that I have no good anime left to watch - I'm convinced I've now watched everything I want to see.
>> No. 17789 [Edit]
Don't worry ticks, Jojo is airing every week, so you haven't seen that! They're releasing a series for every part of the manga, and there's like 8 parts -- wow! Nutbladder releases subs every http://frideynight.com/ so try to stay together if just for that ;_;
>> No. 17790 [Edit]
I'm going to a show tonight, first time I will be in a crowd of people since high school. Wish me luck!
>> No. 17793 [Edit]
I find it almost impossible for me to go to a show or event on my own. It sucks even more if it's something that I'm genuinely interested in.
>> No. 17794 [Edit]
Good luck!

I only ever get into that kind of predicament if there's something that I want, but sometimes I just realize that it's impossible to obtain it on my own and give up. Unless I really want it, then I'll use all my heart and soul and brave whatever stands in my way. I have my fists and a knife I can (maybe) handle it!
>> No. 17795 [Edit]
I don't mind, but music scene is total shit around where I live and no one but a bunch of terrible cover bands and other typical indie bands. Also the closest place that plays music near me is some old bar with a small concert area. No way am I going into that place. So I'm limited to one place much farther away, just within reach of me. I just like to see a bunch of various metal because you can act like a total retard and still have no one give a shit. If you have a chance and these place is decent, go for it. You'll have fun. Trust me no one will care if you're a little awkward.
>> No. 17800 [Edit]
I wrote a little Python script to rip embedded videos out of threads on here.

It's up on /ddl/ if anyone wants it.
>> No. 17801 [Edit]
My psychiatrist mentioned to my mother that at this point in my depression treatment, there is a greater risk of suicidal behavior. Now my mom is all panicked. Haruhidamn shit hell calm down, as if I had the balls to actually kill myself
>> No. 17804 [Edit]
Aren't they not supposed to tell anybody without your permission? My old psychiatrist used to ask me if it was okay to tell my mother anything, although once I let her tell my mother about how I loathe my physical appearance without thinking and she ended up telling a ton of people.

It was awkward and annoying as all fuck to hear so many lies that day. I figured it out months later when I was thinking to myself since it seemed really odd for something like that to happen.
>> No. 17806 [Edit]
It's one of those things they are allowed to tell because it might put my life in risk
>> No. 17810 [Edit]
Today I went to the doctors again for my illnesses, paid someone a visit, forgot things, played some games on my DS and PSP while ignoring everyone, watched some anime, then more anime and more anime, got a job editing a book, watched more anime, bought books and a fig, more anime, now more games.
>> No. 17828 [Edit]

anime/video games
anime/video games
>> No. 17842 [Edit]
Well, I went to the movie theater and it was full of shitty middle school kids. My mother wanted to watch a horror movie, but the one she wanted to watch was full or some shit and we ended up watching the one called Paranormal 4 or something. The movie itself was terrible and it involved some sort of plot about ghosts and some sort of adopted kid that was apparently some sort of "chosen one". The movie was stupid as all fucks, and the fact that some woman was 1HKOing all of the normals almost made me fall asleep. Then something about a bunch of humans with demons in them and them grabbing the lead 3DPD because she was a virgin lol at the end was a very stupid. It wasn't all that scary and the normals were too fucking stupid to understand it.

I stopped paying attention close to the end, so I have no idea what happened to the father, but I guess that having a knife magically almost fall into your skull with no visible traps or tools was not enough to convince him that something was very wrong.

After the movie was done, I decided to wait for my aunt to finish her movie, so I went with my mother into the Hotel Transylvania movie and found it to be much better than the shit I was watching, despite still being pretty stupid.

Fuck the outside world and fuck movies. I should've stayed home. Fucking disgusting 3DPD shitspawn.

Post edited on 19th Oct 2012, 9:28pm
>> No. 17844 [Edit]
Can't remember most of my morning other than going to school. When I got home I sat down, drank some tea, cuddled with my cat and read some useless news/checked websites. The internet is becoming quite a bore. I need to find more interesting websites to visit, but it's hard. Right now I'm trying to gather the courage to get up and take a shower, and then maybe go for a walk if the weather is nice, and take my half-decent camera to take some pictures of ducks and whatnot. I have decided that I'll finally catch up on all the anime I have missed lately. I hope I don't slack off again. I'm considering trying to buy a laptop just because my desktop PC is really uncomfortable to sit at and noisy...
>> No. 17850 [Edit]
Had a doctors visit and did more house shopping then came home where I slacked off for a while. Went out shopping and to an art gallery with someone. Now I'm reviewing some journals from the past 2-3 days trying to remember some things while I force myself to interact with some unwanted guests.
>> No. 17856 [Edit]
Got an invoice from Ebay for selling stuff in the past month. Not very happy about how much it is and I wish I could find a way to dispute this.
>> No. 17857 [Edit]
did a bunc h of ddurgs (500mg of DXM) and had some interesting reflections of my unconscious mind. the lucid dreams were very fun

skyped with my friend who moved to japan for TWO HOURS this morning about philosophy, sociology, girls, abime, drugs, religion, japan and all that stuff
>> No. 17859 [Edit]
Yes the internet has been so slow lately. I usually waste time searching for more interesting music, talking with a small handful of internet friends that are still around, or just playing some pc games to pass time. The rest of the time I'm usually being bored to death on youtube watching random shit hoping I can somehow hit the fats forward button on life that way.
>> No. 17864 [Edit]
Had my blood tested, got a piss test, helped my grandmother get shoes at a mall, talked ot the dean from the college I graduated from to discuss help with transferring to a 4-year university, and judged a policy debate tournament.

Well that was yesterday. Today I judged ANOTHER debate tournament.
>> No. 17868 [Edit]
Watched anime, went out drinking, played video games back home after drinking, wrote and skimmed over some notes in my DID related journal for the last couple days - seems I did a lot of stuff I don't remember, then laid in bed reading until I fell asleep.
>> No. 17870 [Edit]
decided not to go out today because it would take a 2+ hour bus ride to get to where i was going and i don't feel up to it. then i got yelled at for not having friends and never leaving my room, and managed to fix my computer (it wasn't really broken, i just did something silly). going to read for a bit now.
>> No. 17878 [Edit]
It's one of those "rare" days where I don't want to do anything but listen to punk records and laze around the house, but can't get comfortable no matter where I am.

This kind of shit sucks. It feels like I'm cramped. Best to watch some brightly-colored anime, listen to some loud music, suck down cigarettes and hope that I don't give in to the horrible monotony that is NEET life.
>> No. 17892 [Edit]
It's raining today. I like rain.
>> No. 17949 [Edit]
Accidentally blew my apartment's fuse because I had a space heater on while I was heating something up in the oven. Replaced it five hours later and just ate some microwave food. Let's see if I get sick!
>> No. 17951 [Edit]
I swear there is someone smoking some heavy pot in the floor below my apartment. Had to shut the entire house for the smell not to come inside.
>> No. 17952 [Edit]
Got a laptop. It's bad and it was cheap but at least I can watch anime comfortably in bed now. Also finished Naked Lunch, though I'll be digesting bits over the next few days still. I get the urge to reread some bits in random orders sometimes. I felt strange all day, couldn't focus or think. Not that I'm complaining, I'm fine with not thinking, but it's annoying when you can't just space out because you're in public. I'll have some tea and pretend I'm a moe loli now.
>> No. 17957 [Edit]
I swear I'm having a case of phantosmia.
>> No. 17961 [Edit]
The name of that made it sound much cooler than it is.
>> No. 17963 [Edit]
Yeah, I was disappointed when I looked it up the meaning
>> No. 17970 [Edit]
File 135114278914.jpg - (335.60KB , 1174x1200 , 28308504.jpg )
I have a job interview this morning at 11:45 and I can't sleep. It may end up being my first real job in my 21 years of living, and with my living conditions right now, a lot is riding on getting a job.

It's not even the job part that makes me nervous, it's that the job is in retail, so I will be in constant contact with people, which, as one may guess, fucking terrifies and agitates me.

That sounds like it could be either good or bad, but from a general perspective, hallucinations aren't usually a good thing.
>> No. 17973 [Edit]
Woke up early, drank a lot of coffee and did my job (book editing now, easy work which I can thankfully do from home most days of the week). Got distracted from that and worked on a paper of my own about Catholic theology; for a few reasons, I've a renewed interest in Catholicism - not only intellectually but personally.

Missed a psychiatrist appointment in the afternoon for the second time in the past 2 weeks. Watched some Sound of the Sky episodes with someone, then cooked dinner. After, my identities began to change, and there is a 1-2 hour gap where I was not "myself" and forget everything - reading my notebooks, at least all I did was read an LN and lay down for a bit.

Spent the remainder of the evening talking about travel, world history and fascism while waiting on Chuunibyou subs, which completed the night.
>> No. 17975 [Edit]
I've been feeling really good today, no idea why
>> No. 17976 [Edit]
Today I watched movie "Lars and the Real Girl" because one person recommended it to me. It's been while since I've watched live action movie and I think it was really good and most people here would probably like it too because story has similar elements than having a waifu. While synopsis might look like joke, it's actually very touching story and something different than most western movies. Movies like this give me hope that maybe in reality people aren't so judgemental as they seem to be.

Post edited on 25th Oct 2012, 12:29pm
>> No. 17984 [Edit]
Today I played around with a UNIX server at work, cleaned up my apartment and found $200, and then went out and bought some movie tickets. The movie was rated "R" and the woman gave me a funny look and said, "You don't look 17 to me, buddy," which really hurt my feelings.

At home, I played some DOTA2 and set up my computer so that my bro on here could get past his parents' anti-hentai webfilter using my computer as a proxy. And right now I'm spamming Tsadiq's memos on IRC with requests to be unbanned. Guess I'll play some more DOTA2 and eat some garlic bread for dinner if I get hungry.

Living alone rocks. You all should try to do it if you can. As much as work can be a drag, it feels so good getting away from my parents.
>> No. 17990 [Edit]
I watched it when it was still in cinemas and I found it to be boring.
>> No. 17992 [Edit]
Started doing a list