It looks like I'm back after just a few months... I don't know if you'd prefer a tl;dr version but I'll go ahead and try to make a somewhat concise rant:

Overall a lot has changed this year. I feel like I can't indulge in the typical sort of waifuism as much (loving intensely with delusions of support and comfort), at least not outside of short bursts that I had with my first waifu. I guess in a sense I'd have to admit I'm a bad friend that way, I usually follow wherever my curiosity leads me and if I feel crappy I either plug myself into work anyways or just watch some gameplay and speedruns or just let my thoughts drift to try and sink myself into a more logical/organized system. I don't fap and nap anymore like I used to and I don't know if I can say I consciously seek love. When I feel uncomfortable in a crowd I usually focus on my ambitions and how I want to rise above everyone else.

Even then the novel I've been working on this year (my 10th coming in at 2-3x the size of most of my previous works and a rewrite of my 4th and 6th, the story having been thought up since 2009) really seems to have taught me a lot, and even then I guess somewhere I hold more humanistic ideals in my heart as well as a general desire for romance... With an original character I suppose I'm forced to interact with her more and now I can really say I know who she is, although I'm still working on many projects that don't feature her -- I guess in the next two years at least she's going to be my main heroine? I don't know, I want to believe that she stands a chance against the grittier philosophies of my other characters (even if I think I've gotten through the teenage grimdark years my main characters are probably all going to be introverted and pessimistic to some extent and that's the best way I know of writing a hero) I can still certainly feel those flashes of passion right before I get up out of bed when I sleep in at least, so even if my worldview has become too realistic I know the feelings are still there somewhere...

Honestly, it's strange how things turn out but I guess somehow my heart is telling me to go for it. Originally she was a minor character when I wrote her in 2012 and when I got lost in my grimdark ravings, but now it turns out I've made her one of the main rivals/protagonists after my OC/self-insert turns into a type of antagonist. The story's really strange and I don't know if anyone here would read, it's chock full of philosophy (even if you don't have to get any references the style may seem excessive).

I've removed most of my embarrassing Homura stuff on the internet now, still having trouble setting up a new shrine and I don't want to use my old subdomain. Once again I'm probably just working through the winter lonelies I guess, I plan shoot for an attempt at making games finally, it'll probably be a sandbox right now (my math skills aren't bad and no one else is going to code for me) I don't know if any of you care and if you think I'm rambling too much, some guy changed his waifu here earlier this year without saying much... Through this year I really figured out a type of optimal schedule for me I guess. I know I can get ridiculous technical abilities by working all day on projects but I know that would limit my creativity in a sense and that there are probably good examples of manga artists like that. I suppose writing, drawing, and animating characters with all my intense effort may have pushed me further along to the brink of insanity and perhaps that's the best explanation, but I guess it might work out in the end... After all I don't think many of you are going to judge me too harshly for coming out like this. Tohno-chan has been the best community for me on the internet even if I mostly just lurk. Don't know if I can upload many images and post here, I do have a good number of drawings of her in any case and plan to draw a lot more -- I still have other "manime" characters to draw though.

tl;dr/conclusion: After a few months I have a new waifu, my original character Maira Snow. I think I'll handle this one a lot differently and better than with my first waifu, although in a sense I feel I don't fit in with the rest of you.