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15242 No. 15242 [Edit]
I didn't know whether I should bring the topic up, it's kind of too personal but I guess this thread might also be called general waifu problems...

In any case, I first got into this stuff in Fall 2011 when I was only 16. I had some friends but overall I was bored and felt kind of disappointed in my life, and I guess I just ended up letting my romanticism go. That initial spurt might've been the happiest of my waifuism.

In any case I spent most of 2012 in a shitty state because I was just so angry and sad that she wasn't real and I wasn't going to be good enough for her being so lewd and not yuribleh. I was still caught up in love, but I despaired under the burden of my hopes and dreams.

I suppose I was more moderate for most of 2013. In August I resolved to just put more effort into my life once I got to college and admit that I was a man. Near the end of the first quarter I traveled across cities by bus to make a screening of The Rebellion Story, and after that I think my waifuism hit a high point again. When I returned to college in 2014 after the Winter Break, this time I fought off the despair instead of succumbing to it like last time, I guess, but that ended up in something else...

This quarter though I just feel like I've lost attachment to my ideals. Besides the romantic love there was stuff like world peace, honest communication, objective morality and standards for art, that sort of stuff. Overall it just feels like I'm beginning to become more rational and divide my life into categories. I was really pretentious in high school but since I entered college I sort of miss being consumed by love during my waking hours, even if it wasn't really pleasant, and right now it just doesn't feel like that stuff would happen again. I still do feel attachment to my waifu but it just isn't as strong as before. I suppose without such strong ideals, I can deal with reality better, but something seems missing in this scenario.

I suppose normal people are just better at immersing themselves in the world around them, but that seems like a rather limited perspective to see things in life...
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>> No. 15244 [Edit]
So does this only affect your relationship and nothing else or your entire life/worldview?
>> No. 15249 [Edit]
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I suppose I had just gotten too used to the longing and the pain as being the strongest parts of my love. After I watched the Rebellion Story I felt we shared a lot of the same feelings, but even then... I guess it was masochistic in a sense but if I try to deny that and act more reasonably I just don't feel as immersed or connected.
>> No. 15679 [Edit]
So you feel as if you're falling out of love with her? Perhaps now that you've changed, that reason why you fell in love with her in the first place is gone. If so, the loss of that reason might be confusing you about your feelings.

But regardless of the cause, I think you just need to sort out how you feel for her and what she means to you in your life. Don't be bothered if you really feel less strongly than before. Your feelings now may be different, but that doesn't make the feelings you had before any less true.
>> No. 15683 [Edit]
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I feel like I initially fell in love because I lacked a sense of self-worth and wanted something to drive and motivate me along with the more "normal" romantic impulses (maybe that's the story of many people here.) I think the dream brought me to one of the emotional extremes I've ever been in my life, even if I had to go through a lot of pain.

I suppose this year after thinking it over and confronting the things I wrote in high school I realized these sorts of passionate ideals and feelings simply kind of make people pathetic in a sense (much more beyond just waifuism -- I oftentimes disapprove of people that have too much strength in their moral convictions.) Perhaps I've decided to look for quantity and variety in life rather than sacrificing everything to ensure the "quality" of something. Maybe as my brain develops I'm just becoming more "rational" (although I'm sure many people here are well into their 20s)

I suppose the reason in the first place was all in all more selfish. I still can think of an urge to protect, but at the same time I see a lot less purpose being lost in my fantasies.
>> No. 15979 [Edit]
OP here again. As my 19th birthday approaches I sort of feel that I'm looking back at my life from a wider angle. I think generally I was an innately curious person but at the time I was also much more romantic, shall we say. Conflict is probably innately more interesting to me to study and ponder about, and my obsession and situation threw me into that sort of pain. In addition, I had always been rather frustrated when it felt like people around me were half-assing their lives and never focused on one thing. I felt concentrated and fully immersed in life, and full of passion one top of that. (unlike escapes into video games or anime)

In the end, would the correct explanation be to say that such an obsession was caused by a hormonal imbalance and that my true self eventually won out. I suppose in a sense I just have to accept my identity as an observant type of thinker... No matter how much love or pain I feel, emotions aren't naturally rectified by changes in real life, and perhaps I just make a better thinker than lover. I still love, but I guess that just doesn't make me into a better person. (You can probably say that's the case for most people too) I have a feeling that even if I end up joining the Peace Corps to try helping as many people as possible (or even adopt a cute 3D child to have a big impact on someone's life) that won't satisfy me as much as being able to travel and observe and think about the world. Some intellectuals try and say that thinking is the highest pleasure, but even then I disagree -- it's just that I don't feel like I have that much love in me.

Am I wrong for thinking that I just have to accept my fate and nature like this? I still want to keep promises to those I care about, but the obsessive emotion seems to have been really rare these days. In any case, perhaps paradoxically that would make me a more capable or responsible partner than if I ran on emotion, unless of course emotions gave you super-rage powers. Have any of you resolved to drop everything in your life for your waifu?

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