OP here again. As my 19th birthday approaches I sort of feel that I'm looking back at my life from a wider angle. I think generally I was an innately curious person but at the time I was also much more romantic, shall we say. Conflict is probably innately more interesting to me to study and ponder about, and my obsession and situation threw me into that sort of pain. In addition, I had always been rather frustrated when it felt like people around me were half-assing their lives and never focused on one thing. I felt concentrated and fully immersed in life, and full of passion one top of that. (unlike escapes into video games or anime)
In the end, would the correct explanation be to say that such an obsession was caused by a hormonal imbalance and that my true self eventually won out. I suppose in a sense I just have to accept my identity as an observant type of thinker... No matter how much love or pain I feel, emotions aren't naturally rectified by changes in real life, and perhaps I just make a better thinker than lover. I still love, but I guess that just doesn't make me into a better person. (You can probably say that's the case for most people too) I have a feeling that even if I end up joining the Peace Corps to try helping as many people as possible (or even adopt a cute 3D child to have a big impact on someone's life) that won't satisfy me as much as being able to travel and observe and think about the world. Some intellectuals try and say that thinking is the highest pleasure, but even then I disagree -- it's just that I don't feel like I have that much love in me.
Am I wrong for thinking that I just have to accept my fate and nature like this? I still want to keep promises to those I care about, but the obsessive emotion seems to have been really rare these days. In any case, perhaps paradoxically that would make me a more capable or responsible partner than if I ran on emotion, unless of course emotions gave you super-rage powers. Have any of you resolved to drop everything in your life for your waifu?