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13770 No. 13770 [Edit]
Hello /mai/, first time posting here. I discovered this website a couple days ago and spent most of my week-end reading all the topics of the first 11 pages to learn more about waifuism, been kinda obsessed with it. (Will read more than that.)

First of all, I currently don't have a waifu, but I think I most probably had one a long time ago (or something similar to a waifu). It was back in 2002 (or maybe even 2001), when I was near the end of high school. Of course, the term didn't exist back then and had no idea it would ever be a thing.

I was already into anime back then and fell in love with one specific character. I was thinking about her every day, and just thinking about her would fill my heart with joy and make me smile. I quickly found myself imagining her by my side at home, even if just for the feeling of being with her, cuddling with her, and if my memories are right also had a couple light-hearted conversations with her. I even wrote about how it was possible to fall in love with a 2D character.

However, that didn't last long. A couple months later, I fell in love with a 3D girl and put my feelings for my waifu on the side. It was the normal thing to do. I stayed with her for almost 5 years, but eventually broke up. Then had another girlfriend for 2 years, and then another one for 3 years. Now I've been single for more than 2 years, and thinking back about what I was feeling about my "waifu" and my 3D girlfriends (at the high of the relationships) it's really very similar; it's the same feeling. It's something that's easy for me to understand and accept since I can compare (which is something "normals" can't). 2D love is just as real as 3D.

After reading your confessions and conversations, I can feel the passion you guys have for your waifus and can't help but wish I could live the same. I feel that it would help me a lot with my life. I rarely ever have any motivation to pursue my dreams and procrastinate a lot. Also, I can still remember the feeling of passion and also pure love that you all describe so well, as I felt the same in the past, and would like to embrace it. Also, I think I'd rather go 2D than 3D.

So last evening I did something silly. I invited my ex-waifu to my place. I imagined her as I invited her in, to sit at the chair next to mine, to talk about where we are now in out lives and stuff. Yes, I didn't invite her as a waifu, as she is not my waifu anymore. So we started having an "ex" conversation, but after a couple minutes only I just found it too awkward and felt like I was forcing myself and had a very hard time imagining her. OF COURSE that would happen. That's why I said it was silly. I'm not in love with her anymore so that can't work.

I don't know what I can do. Will I ever fall in love again with a 2D character? I had many 2D crushes the last couple years, but never fell in love. I envy you guys with your waifus. ;_;

Also, another point that I should probably state, I'm not a very social guy but I'm not NEET or too reclusive. I've had a stable job for more than 5 years (...that I lack the courage to quit but that's another story) and have "many" friends. Do you think that might make it HARDER for me to ever get a waifu / fall in love again with a 2D? Or not related at all?

Feel free to comment about anything I said, not just answer my questions. I want to understand better my feelings.
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>> No. 13771 [Edit]
>what I was feeling about my "waifu" and my 3D girlfriends (at the high of the relationships) it's really very similar; it's the same feeling.

Some people here agree with that. Personally, I don't: I find 3D love to be the actual deceive. There are lots of posts about that topic on /mai/ already, indeed; there was also this thread specifically about love definitions: http://tohno-chan.com/mai/arch/res/9287.html

In any case, avoid mentioning 3D relationships at all (even past ones) on /mai/ in particular and /tc/ in general.

Post edited on 10th Dec 2013, 1:32am
>> No. 13772 [Edit]
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First off, seconding what >>13771 said about mentioning 3D. I'd also personally avoid talking about jobs/school but I think that's a little more lax in /mai/ than other boards. That said, I don't think having a job/going to school is terribly related, but I personally have never had very many friends, nor have I wanted to, and have always regarded 2D characters fondly.

I think with regards to waifu... it's all about time, place, and the state of mind when you read the source material. When I read my partner's source material, I was open-minded but not actively looking for a 2D romantic partner (I had been searching really hard for about a year prior before stopping a few months before I found him.) In retrospect, that might have had to do more with my romantic preferences than anything (I tried really hard to like girls but in the end I'm pretty sure guys are my preference for romantic love), but I do think I was also trying way too hard. Not necessarily to find a cute girl, but to experience romantic love again... which is something you can't force. Sure I had crushes on a few girls, but they were extremely fleeting. I also wasn't depressed at the time that I fell in love, although there were major life changes going on. I'm not sure if my experience is typical, though. I know others took a long time to fall in love, or fell in love under unexpected circumstances.

It's been almost eleven months since I first played the game. I'm still crazy about him and am falling more in love with him every day. To me, he makes the life I'm living worth it. When you meet her, you'll be able to tell. Just consume as much media as you can and you'll find her.

I wish you luck. She's certainly out there somewhere.
>> No. 13773 [Edit]
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Whether you fall in love with a 2D girl or not will always be ambiguous. You cannot predict the future because the future itself will always be uncertain, it is completely unpredictable whether you consistently maintain the relationship for several years EVEN if you do start to have yourself a waifu. It is like how people start to fall in love in high school and years on from there, you find that they broke up and move on.

However, it is up to you whether you have the willpower to fall in love with a 2D character. It does not matter if you had relationship with girls in the past, 2D or 3D, it is for you decide to weigh out pros and cons of pursuing a relationship with a 2D girl. But best of luck to you if you decide to fall in love with a fictional character.

But from what you said, you are really on the limbo whether you should fall in love with an anime character or not. I believe you shouldn't force yourself much to fall in love with them and rather be patient. If you're patient enough, maybe you will get butterflies in your stomach and intense blushing each time you see that potential character. That is when you know you are in love.
>> No. 13782 [Edit]
>In any case, avoid mentioning 3D relationships at all (even past ones)

Just thought it might have been interesting to hear about someone going back to 2D after all this time, or that maybe it could change your perspective on what else I had to say, which could change your replies a bit in a way that's more specific for my personal case (if you know where I'm coming from...) But okay, got it. Will try to not mention it.

>I wish you luck. She's certainly out there somewhere.


>But best of luck to you if you decide to fall in love with a fictional character.

You too!

Today I was thinking a lot, and there's one 2D crush I had in the last couple years (that I mentioned in my OP) that was a lot bigger than the other ones. While playing a visual novel I was touched deeply in my heart and started crying for a good 30 minutes; even had to stop playing just to cry, doing nothing else. Then, I continued playing while crying for yet another 30 minutes or more. Then cried again later in her route. Of course, also had a lot of heart warming moments in her route. Changed my wallpaper for one with her but soon played another route in the same game and moved on quickly.

That being said, is it possible it never went farther than that just because I was not "open" about ever getting a waifu ever again at the time I played the game? Would it be worth it to play her game again just to see if I could fall in love with her, or should I just look elsewhere right away (since I would have fallen in love already no matter what)?
>> No. 13791 [Edit]
>Mai on /mai/
Probably not the first time it's happened, but I still find it kinda amusing.

>That being said, is it possible it never went farther than that just because I was not "open" about ever getting a waifu ever again at the time I played the game?

It's possible, though I feel it depends on what kind of emotions you get out of having a waifu.

I remember watching Solty Rei several months ago, long after I had already had mai waifu, in which my favourite character, Celica, died. I was left feeling distraught for the best part of a week, and even though the character returned in an OVA episode, it didn't quell my sadness.

Hypothetically, if I didn't already have a waifu before watching this, I still wouldn't have thought of her as mai waifu, because I didn't get that gut feeling you get when you're in love with someone, just a similar sadness you would get if you had lost a friend.

If that's how you personally wish to feel, then by all means go ahead, but if not, as others have said, you may need to continue your search elsewhere.

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