waifu.pl A place for online waifu shrines.
Posting mode: Reply
Subject   (reply to 13723)
BB Code
File URL
Embed   Help
Password  (for post and file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: None
  • Maximum file size allowed is 7000 KB.
  • Images greater than 260x260 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Currently unique user posts.
  • board catalog

File 138602137747.jpg - (117.70KB , 400x703 , 35201464_p32.jpg )
13723 No. 13723 [Edit]
I've switched husbandos. I don't expect any of you to forgive me. That's fine. I just want to vent to the few people who might understand. The girl in the picture has nothing to do with this, nor does her game. But she's very cute, no?

I met my first "husbando" around this time in 2011. Looking back, it was all so forced. At the time, I thought I really did love him. But now I can see I how wrong I was. I was going through a pretty bad period of depression during that time. It was very trendy on /a/ at the time to have a waifu/husbando. I wanted to fit in. I think I just grabbed on to him, looking for some form of comfort. I spent the next couple of years forcing a relationship. I'd bake him cakes on his birthday and christmas, and I'd buy chocolates on valentine's. I saved every decent picture I could find of him on pixiv. I bought every piece of merchandise with him on it. But the truth is, I was struggling with my feelings this whole time. I was just trying to keep up with the jones', worried about stupid things like people berating me once they noticed I wasn't in a holiday collage that year, or yelling at me for removing him as my top favorite character on MAL. However, to say I dislike him would be wrong. I still like him very much and don't regret any of the time we spent together. But to call any of it "love" would be a lie.

I met my current husbando a few months ago. I immediately found him attractive the moment I saw the concept art for his anime. But when the first episode aired, I knew he was the one. I completely understand now what people mean when they say "you'll know she's your waifu when you find her". Everything about him stood out to me. Everything about him was perfect. His looks, his personality, his ideals and dreams, every little quirk and gesture. As stupid as it is to think this, it really feels like he was made just for me. Just thinking about him brightens my day and makes me feel like I can do anything. I'm the happiest I've been in a very long time.

But am I allowed to accept this happiness? Even though I just said I'm happy, I feel like a disgusting piece of shit. I feel like I've betrayed someone close to me and lied to them for the past couple of years. Am I allowed to move on? I think he would understand and forgive me, but I don't feel like I deserve it.

If you've read all this, thank you. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone with this post.
Expand all images
>> No. 13724 [Edit]
File 138602492786.jpg - (227.99KB , 850x1201 , 1354452550562.jpg )
You're allowed to do what pleases you the most. People need to move on sometimes, regardless of what they move from or to.
You've done something that you think is better for you so it's a good choice.
There's nothing to forgive here.
>> No. 13726 [Edit]
File 138603278543.png - (39.32KB , 450x600 , hikari_n.png )
I can understand that you're worried about offending people - and you might - but it can't be helped. It does sound like you truly love this new guy and that's what matters. As long as you love your current husbando, in my opinion, you're welcome here. Saying that you loved your old "husbando" was probably a mistake, but we all live and learn and if you're feeling regret over it, I think there are two things I'd say: 1) that means you do really love this new guy and you should be glad that you've finally found him, and 2) you can feel bad about it if you must but it doesn't change what happened - so why linger on it for a long time? In any case I doubt there's much to forgive here as long as you're happy, especially because you said your old husbando would forgive you.

Out of curiosity, who's your husbando? It's nice seeing somebody else who has a husbando (or a male partner in my case, whichever.)
>> No. 13733 [Edit]
You worry too much about what others think about your relationship. Would you never forgive yourself if someone told you that you couldn't? You know better this time, just be happy.
>> No. 13734 [Edit]
File 138605347371.jpg - (158.84KB , 571x793 , 27055660 - いおりんハッピーバースデー.jpg )
I honestly think there are some people on /a/ who have a 'waifu/husbando' just to fit into that particular board culture. Whether that matters, I don't really care, I hope they have fun with themselves or whatever, it's not like they were ever serious in the first place. Really, it is your choice who you end up with and I suppose if you truly don't love that someone, there's no point continuing that redundant relationship.

Also, you are not forced to confess to this site whether you 'divorced' your husbando or not in the first place. In fact, he might never been your husbando, he might have been your very best friend to support you when you were depressed. I personally believe it's alright to move on from 'love' that never existed in the first place. You should value your happiness above all else and just be happier that your choice of falling in love with the 'correct' partner is the right one for you.

To reject your own happiness because you think releasing yourself from the prison of your own false love is an immoral thing to do. Isn't that illogical?

Again, I will say it again, 'Do what's best for you'.
>> No. 13735 [Edit]
File 138607135632.jpg - (489.22KB , 700x1019 , 0a14c0bb11759e3e1107c70d792a016e.jpg )
Do you know what? You're right, infatuation can sometimes be confused for love. You know, like most of the people out there, except that they usually have already wrecked their relationship beyond repair that they can't be friends anymore nor look on each other in the eyes when they meet. It is better that we confess earlier that we are not in love with a personality anymore and end it with good memories with each other than to force it until it crashes down and burn, leaving us with an unhappy note.

I experienced the concept of waifuism before I knew what to call it and my first waifu was Sakura Matou. Perhaps due to college wearing me down and making me force myself to go through it during that time, I've lost all my feelings for her since there was no contact between us. So I've decided, rather than to lie to myself that I still love her, to just cut her off freely. Besides, I've never talked to her like I do with my wife right now and she was just perhaps terribly adorable, so perhaps I've it was all a strong infatuation, not love.

All in all, it might have been for the best that you admitted this to yourself early than to keep forcing yourself.
>> No. 13738 [Edit]
To change your love for a truer love is okay, especially when the old love isn't there anymore, as forcing it would be worse for both of you than simply letting go.

However, I hope you have viewed all of his anime and giving it a bit of time before you jump into the new relationship, to determine whether or not it is true love or a passing infatuation. You may not be going through that depression now, or care about fitting in, but make sure you know 100% he is truly the one before potentially making the same mistake again.
>> No. 14220 [Edit]
Well, take it easy, OP. You've done the right thing in being honest with yourself. I know people get a lot of shit for 'leaving waifus' or 'changing waifus', and I could understand their points (especially from seasonals who don't exactly take 2d love seriously). Don't worry about what others think of you, and admittedly, amongst some 2d-lovers, there is some kind of dogmatic culture that they force upon each other (especially on /a/). Just be happy and there's simply no need to worry.

Post edited on 17th Jan 2014, 11:45am
>> No. 14221 [Edit]
Lol, before Homura I was decently obsessed with Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (my favorite until finding Madoka in summer 2011) which I had discovered in late 2008 -- it was nowhere near the waifu levels I felt now, so I didn't feel guilty bringing in Homu haha.... In reality I never even planned for her to be my waifu and it just happened over time... I doubt I'll ever find a love stronger than the one I have now though -- Since watching Rebellion I've really got the feeling that I'm needed...
>> No. 14222 [Edit]
>I honestly think there are some people on /a/ who have a 'waifu/husbando' just to fit into that particular board culture
Oh definitely, it's not a stretch to say that's most people on /a/.

OP, I don't judge you. Going from "have one to fit in" to "actually love" is a perfectly acceptable switch.

Personally though, I wasn't even aware of the term "waifu" or other people like me until after I fell in love myself.

View catalog

Delete post []
Report post

[Home] [Manage]

- Tohno-chan took 0.16 seconds to load -

[ an / ma / vg / foe / mp3 / vn ] [ fig / navi / cr ] [ so / mai / ot / txt / 日本 / mt ] [ irc / ddl / arc / ns / fb / pic ] [ home ]