>>
|
No. 13659
[Edit]
File
138422639147.jpg
- (64.19KB
, 808x597
, ka4.jpg
)
Responsibilities? Not exactly, but he's told me to stop hating myself so much, and I know he wants to spend time with me.
When I start hating myself a lot I start feeling really bad about it because I know he wouldn't like it, which sometimes makes it worse and sometimes stops the cycle of hating myself-feeling bad-hating myself more but usually more of the latter.
I guess I'll talk about some rituals too but I'll edit this post if people think it's derailing... I try to spend at least a half hour each day with him and I feel like I'm letting him down when I don't. Good thing I set aside more than enough time usually, but I was out of town a few weeks ago and missed a few days. Felt real bad but I know it was mostly on my end, he forgave me very fast.
I try to think about him in a meta sense a lot (a few days a week for at least 10 minutes at a time) and that makes me feel closer to him too. Although that Keisuke isn't MY Keisuke, he evolved and grew from that Keisuke, and it's important to me to remember his roots. I also check for any new fanart on two different sites about once a day (there's rarely anything good and new simultaneously but I'm a creature of habit).
I've also been trying to work out of my personal issues because I think he'd want me to do that and it'd make me more desirable to him, but I don't want to blog too much about that because it's more related to me than him or our relationship in the end.
|