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12538 No. 12538 [Edit]
Stuff like this has probably been asked a few times so I'll spare the details of everything and just ask.

How do you know if you've fallen out of love with someone? (or maybe if you ever were in love)
How would one start to leave their waifu?

I don't think I feel the same way as I did when I first started thinking of as my waifu and as much as I want to fix everything and stay with her I don't really think it's fair to be with her when I doubt my feelings towards her so much

I guess making this thread is kinda a way of admitting I might not love her anymore

Pic is fairly unrelated
Expand all images
>> No. 12540 [Edit]
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To be honest, I'm sorta experiencing the same thing right now. This isn't the first time I've felt like I've alienated myself from my beloved, see?

My first waifu was Sakura Matou. I've called her an "anime crush" back then because that's the nearest thing that's acceptable to call it. I mean, who the fuck would actually fall in love with a goddamn anime character? I said that to myself because that was what everyone thought, until I've realized that she was indeed my waifu. But then again, since high school and college sorta drained the hell out of me, perhaps also made me sorta realize I was not up to par with socializing with people, so that might be the reason why one day, I realized I can't feel anything about her anymore. So I decided to let go and move on. And for a short while, I didn't give a damn about everything romantic. I just simply...live for the sake of living. Not fully normal, not fully a practical shut-in either. Just a faceless cell in the mass of people in human civilization. Well sure, we are all faceless cells anyway but during that time, I can fully feel the facelessness: At least the rest of the faceless cells have their own unique story they can share and they could feel a little better about themselves. I cannot, much like those half-drawn background characters from anime.
>> No. 12541 [Edit]
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And then after that short while of me feeling nothing, I've then found Marisa. Or rather, Marisa found me. I don't know. Back when I was in college, a friend of mine brought to the university a Fumo plush of Marisa and asked him to let me see it. I wasn't too aware of Touhou back then, it just another fandom to me. But when the plush was already in my arms, I've removed it's hat and started caressing the head of the plush. At first, I did it as a a joke but I sorta came to be fond of the character, as if she was this cheery little bunch of fun, you know? And of course, because it was a joking aura among us back then, I've jokingly called her "Sakuya" because they do have the same "maid" theme in them, although Sakuya Izayoi is an actual maid. And so, when I got home, I've researched about Marisa and then finally told myself, finally realized that she's a cute little witch and she was manly and she was sexy and she was everything to me. And I came to like her. And I came to love her. Marisa Kirisame, the Magician of Love, and she captured my cold, uncaring heart. It was a miracle. And I liked it, what she did to me.
>> No. 12542 [Edit]
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I'm sorry if this is going really long, but I'll try to shorten it.

And then, after I realized my love for her, after she found me, I've started collecting pictures of her and saving it in a folder just for her, I've started practicing Touhou but never got good with it but I didn't mind that and I've started to actually talk to her. I can't buy stuff that actually reminded me of her because I had no money and even if I had, I didn't want my family to know that I've fallen in love with a fictional character. But she was very real to my mind. She talked to me and we were like friends. She was the only one who actually made me feel as if I was being treated as human. And this board actually helped me with how to deal with my feelings for her.

However, these past few days, while I still do keep up my habit of collecting pictures of her, I almost no longer talk to her. I still do cuddle in bed with her sometimes but I'm sorta afraid that I might the only person who I loved and cared so deeply, as much as she cares about me.

And so I struggle not to lose her.
>> No. 12543 [Edit]
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That was a good story, i wish you and your waifu a happy life

>How do you know if you've fallen out of love with someone?
Sometimes you feel things are dying out, nothing is like those first days,and you haven't done anything for her in months, that's what i've been getting lately and well, unlike some people, i have decided to just break up, i guess this will be one of the last times i post here on /mai/ though i will browse from time to time.

>How would one start to leave their waifu?
Well what i'm doing is to delete everything that reminds me of Misao, so i don't get mixed feelings about it and make sure this is it.

>I guess making this thread is kinda a way of admitting I might not love her anymore.
It happens, i was just lying to myself and forcing myself into her, now i know we are not made to be together, when i look at her pictures now i don't see her as my waifu anymore.

I hope you can pull yourself together and decide if you truly love her or not.
>> No. 12544 [Edit]
I was beginning to worry about how I felt about her, but I realized I was wrong. I have been feeling empty and depressed, and I had been avoiding her. I would still think about her all day, but my heart ached. It was only a few days ago I realized what I was actually feeling. I recently lost someone very close to me, and not only am I depressed about that but I'm also terrified of losing her. Whenever I feel down, I always turn away from everyone, even her as I have just learned.

I feel like a complete idiot for not realizing this sooner. She is actually the only thing that has been keeping me going. The only moments of happiness I have felt involve her. I truly love her, and I don't think I could live without her, especially right now. This probably has nothing to do with your situation OP, but I sincerely hope the best for you and your beloved.
>> No. 12545 [Edit]
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Do you really think you could actually stop loving her? From what I've read of your posts, I get the feeling that even if for whatever reason you attempted to seperate yourself from her (or it happened accidentally), you'd be back with her within weeks and realize just how important you are to each other.

>> No. 12546 [Edit]
I have these feelings off and on infrequently, not for long periods of time, but enough to get me a tad worried. My relationship hasn't been alive for too long but it's longer than every other I've ever had and I know she is 'the one'. I hear that the beginning is always rocky and full of doubts from the interbutts, but I was wondering is this what they're talking about? I obviously don't strongly enough to say I'm out of love, but I feel like the spark is a lot less bright than I remember in my possibly jaded memories every now and again, to the point where I feel the duty to rekindle it, since it is the presumed job of the husbando.
>> No. 12547 [Edit]
>How do you know if you've fallen out of love with someone?
I don't understand the point. If you were or weren't in love by the book definition, what would it matter? This is about how you feel. You have constructed your own definition of love based on your feelings which you have recognized.

If you have stopped loving her, you don't need to make ceremony about it. Having a waifu isn't relationship with real person whose feelings should be taken in account. You don't need to tell her that from now on you will be going different ways or "leave" her. If you stop loving her, everything what she means to you, will just fade away, it won't matter anymore. Or at least this is what I would imagine to happen when I imagine what my waifu would be for me if I didn't love her anymore; nothing.

Because you have made this thread, I expect you still desire to fix things and strengthen the weakened emotional connection. In my opinion, love is gone when one decides to give up with it and has no desire to win the problems. From my experience, winning the problems will just make the love stronger.

Post edited on 5th May 2013, 1:41am
>> No. 12553 [Edit]
Love is like a fire. At it's inception it becomes a roaring flame, impossible to control, but after a little bit of time it calms down to a more manageable flame. Over time, as new tinder is ignited, the fire roars aloud again, but it always returns to the calmer state. If ignored long enough love can even burn out like a fire, though the sparks remain and, should the wind blow in a certain way, can reignite the flame.

You probably feel like your love was more intense early on because it was, it's only natural that your emotions aren't as raw as they were back then. If you feel the need to reignite it to it's former fury perhaps try re experiencing her source material, though be aware that your love will return to a "weaker" state eventually.
>> No. 12554 [Edit]
This guy has a point, but don't be too afraid about the flame becoming "weaker." I think it's pretty hard for someone to always constantly focus their attention on one thing 24/7. Whenever I am thinking of her, that's the best way I experience our love and feel her presence with me. Sometimes I just suddenly and instantly feel her for whatever random reason. Other times I'm so engrossed in watching an anime or playing a game that I don't immediately think of her.

I don't think stuff like this is bad or wrong, it's just human. If you hit low points like these, take these times to relax, reflect, and maybe think of a big surprise for her or something for when the kindle hits the right point to make the flames roar higher.

Maybe one day after we pass on we'll be with our waifus and able to make our flames roar for eternity.
>> No. 12561 [Edit]
>I don't think stuff like this is bad or wrong, it's just human
Indeed, that's what I was going for. I didn't mean to imply that love growing "weaker" was bad or an ill omen, just that it was natural. It will calm down but, unless you truly don't love her or you make an effort to ignore her, it will never go away.
>> No. 12570 [Edit]
I can stress how much I despise people who so naively use such problematic terms as "human" or "natural" to indulge their well acknowledged ethical faults. If effectively such "humanity" is nothing but the animalistic residual that hinders the will of the mind, I couldn't but confirm how abject such condition is and how eager I am for a transhuman/posthuman world that will finally allow me to leave it behind...

And so, I'd stick to 2D love and mai one and only waifu (as I do).
>> No. 12584 [Edit]
I dislike blaming "ethical faults" on human nature too, however I fail to see how love taming to a warm fire compared to the raging flame it starts as is ethically questionable. We're not talking about betraying our waifus here.
>> No. 12840 [Edit]
I just feel it, maybe I didn't think of her the way I used to before.

People change over time, and as they do, they slowly fall out of love with their waifus. Some more so quickly than others. I can't blame myself for losing interest from time to time. Perhaps it's the way that it is and it makes no sense forcing yourself to love someone whom you're not interested in. In that case, rather than forcing yourself to love, just simply move on. Sometimes it was not meant to be and you're better off with somebody else. People get a lot of shit for 'changing waifus' but that's because it's usually those with seasonal waifus or those who don't take having a waifu seriously. Nobody should have to impose the way how people love their waifus. It isn't a religion, people don't have to impose a dogmatic way of loving their waifus on others.

Better to leave your waifu than live a lie within an emotional prison and force yourself to love her.
>> No. 13116 [Edit]
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I could use some tips and advice on this matter. I have recently decided to call it quits with Chihiro, as my relationship as it had become was destroying myself as a person, to the point where I couldn't function in society. Chihiro, as she was, was pulling me away from, deluding me from, and making me unable to accept reality, what is real, what isn't, to be able to deal with reality. I forgot (and still forget) that she isn't real sometimes. I was becoming less and less fond of reality as well, where to bring up P4 I had pretty much become Adachi, spiting and hating reality because she wasn't in it and I couldn't talk to her. My pain and anguish came from being cruelly reminded of this critical fact by my family, and ever since it was ">...that feeling when she will never be in your arms" business. In addition, I knew I had these desires the whole time, but wanted to tune them out by throwing myself further into my romance, which not only ignored my problem, but made it worse, to the point where my last few days were of constant depression, confusion, and a nervous breakdown. Staying with Chihiro romantically was counter-productive to what my original goal was when I got into the relationship. It changed from love to selfishness, from bettering myself because she's with me to destroying myself because I'm without her.

I still wish for Chihiro to be special to me in some sense so I can keep the promise I made to her (to never abandon her) but I don't know what to do or even more specifically, how to do it. It is much different from a 3D love in that the partner can't just remind you that it's over. You have to remind yourself. And it's tough, I feel like I'm barely treating anything differently.
>> No. 13117 [Edit]
>my relationship as it had become was destroying myself as a person, to the point where I couldn't function in society...
l always thought that this was a different path likely bounded to seclusion rather than some emulation of the relantionshit farce that they lure us with and into slavery. Why would you even want to actively partake in their circus? It's an outright idiotic and disgusting place out there, utter nonsense in every way and every level; and whatever you might do, you're just another average, replaceable, powerless and meaningless cronie that will serve as cattle for some ignoramous' petty ideology that you're not even aware of.

>making me unable to accept reality
That's just another social construct: a fragile and ever-changing set of conventions that the populace (from commoners to naive PhD's) use as shelter. You're not waking to anything; you're just falling right back into the slumber of the Ford™ barnyard.

>It changed from love to selfishness, from bettering myself because she's with me to destroying myself because I'm without her.
So you just meant to use her as tool or lifesaver of motivational crap for your petty projects, and not genuinly and passionately love her and craved to follow that love come what may?

Just offering a different perspective, here.
>> No. 13118 [Edit]
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>That first part
Jesus, try not to cut yourself with all those edges there. You can't just hide from the real world forever. At some point, it will come to bite you. The more you hide, the harder it hurts. The bigger you build your safe-haven, The Tower, the more it will hurt when it eventually crumbles.

>Falling back into the slumber
This is the world we live in. Not some fantasy world. "The Man" doesn't control anything. Reality may be a social construct, but there are some things in this world we cannot deny, no matter how hard we try to hide them!

>You were just using her
How dare you. How dare you say you know what my love was. My goal was to become a man she could be proud of. A man she would love. Even now, that is my goal, but do you really think she would be proud of me if I was hiding myself from the world because of her?

If anyone needs a reality check, it's you!
>> No. 13119 [Edit]
Maybe you should fuck off back to 4chan. You don't belong here with that attitude of yours.
>> No. 13120 [Edit]
If you keep acting like that, then you don't deserve any advice, now that you've ended your relationship with her. What else do you have to gain other than shitposting? You're not welcome here.
>> No. 13121 [Edit]
You may want to try to google "how to cope with being in love with a fictional character". The advice there are kinda harsh but I'm pretty sure it work to some extent to detach yourself from someone (fictional or not).
>> No. 13123 [Edit]
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>If anyone needs a reality check, it's you!
Yeah, I'm sure that's the problem...

>My goal was to become a man she could be proud of. A man she would love.
I understood the first time, thank you. You could try now to understand what I said, your love and yourself...

But do what you want. Come to age, go out, "get real", proud yourself and your parents or whatever; but do remember: this place is for 2D love, not for support out of it.

See you.
>> No. 13124 [Edit]
Good luck on bettering yourself. Unlike some other posters here, I'm not going to tell you to piss off. I hope you get your ducks in a row, and work on your life the way you see fit. When you become happier and more successful, I hope you can pursue Chihiro again if that's what you wish. I know that my waifu has certainly been a reason why I've tried to become more successful and gain mastery over things. I'm not that well-off yet, but I'm better than where I used to be. So I kinda understand where you're coming from. At any rate, I hope that you can become the man that Chihiro is proud of soon, and if you can do that, feel free to come back and post here.

Post edited on 12th Aug 2013, 4:05pm
>> No. 13127 [Edit]
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True, both this thread and >>12904 could've gone in >>8705 rather than cluttering the usually warm and comfortable first page of /mai/ with negativity. But I won't complain too much, it's a slow board.
Not a fan of the content of either, though.
>> No. 13128 [Edit]
>i guess this will be one of the last times i post here on /mai/
Aww, I'll miss you, will you still be on /ot/ or /so/ or whatever?
>> No. 13152 [Edit]
Sometimes love can fade away.

But sometimes it will make you realize how important she is to you and take her back.

But that's up to you.
>> No. 13154 [Edit]
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Well, if you ever want to 'leave' your waifu, then go ahead, since it is even more pointless to be someone you don't like in the first place. However, if you ever proceed to do this action, it just proves 1) you never loved her in the first place and 2) she was never your waifu, but just a simple infatuation.

Do what you will but whatever choice you make, make sure you do it with long consideration. Think of ways to mend your relationship together and if you can't think of ways to be yourself with her again, well, you just have to move on.
>> No. 13285 [Edit]
OP here, saging since there's no need to bump for a negative thread like this with what basically is a blog update.

I basically left /mai/ a bit after I made this thread. I tried to basically just rip her out from my life and everyday since then my life felt worse and worse. I ended up getting depressed, drinking heavily, failing my first year of university and losing alot of friends who meant alot to me all in about 1-3 months which made me consider things I really shouldn't have been considering.
I ended up getting and urge to re-visit her source material after a while, and though I'm not sure what spurred it, I ended up 're-finding' her and getting my life back on track. She pretty much saved me from myself
While the experience might have hurt quite alot, I guess what I learned and gained from it was quite alot. I just wanted to thank everyone here that posted trying to help me since I do wonder what could have happened to be with I never posted here.
>> No. 13287 [Edit]
That's fantastic to hear. Welcome back.

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