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File 135913152280.jpg - (14.50KB , 396x306 , 1355969936945.jpg )
11508 No. 11508 [Edit]
Did you ever considered to break up with your waifu for a while?
I made a thread here for a while where i said that im almost obsessed with my waifu. I even get "jealous" if other guys mention my waifu or say that they like her.
Im fully aware that these guys propably dont even come close to my affection towards my waifu. Its propably just a favorite charakter. Its like me when i say that i think osaka is cute. I dont love her, i dont consider her as a waifu, i just like her.
Still im getting angry for some fucked up reason. I really dont know whats up in my mind. I know it, yet i still think like that.

So i thought about putting my dakimakura away, change my wallpaper and try not to think about her for a few weeks.
Did anyone did this already? Was it helpful? Or did it even strenghten your love towards her?
If anyone is interested i can post here every few days how it is.

Picture unrelated.
Expand all images
>> No. 11509 [Edit]
I just more went through a passive love situation.
Didn't change, like, my desktop background, or purposely remove her from my day-to-day life. Just made no extreme effort to showcase my love for her.
It ended up just strengthening my love, but it also taught me that it is 100% acceptable to say "oh X is cute" about another character, and to respect that others find my waifu attractive, whether physically or otherwise. I think you could benefit from "taking a break", but not really "breaking up". Don't set out to remove her from your life, but just live day-to-day as normal, with her still included, but not a central or integral part of every day. Think of it as just taking some "me time".
>> No. 11510 [Edit]
>So i thought about putting my dakimakura away, change my wallpaper and try not to think about her for a few weeks.

I can't imagine myself doing anything like this. I do get a bit jealous though when someone else says they love her or something, but I've taught myself to just ignore it, at least for the most part. Actually I've taught myself to ignore almost anything someone says about her, even when people call her a slut or a whore, I just ignore it. I think the only time I respond to someone talking about her is if they say something nice about her.
>> No. 11511 [Edit]
I tried

Couldnt last a week.
>> No. 11512 [Edit]
>I even get "jealous" if other guys mention my waifu or say that they like her.
>Still im getting angry for some fucked up reason
>So i thought about putting my dakimakura away, change my wallpaper and try not to think about her for a few weeks.

Oh god, I know what you mean so well. I am exactly the same, getting pissed when others talk about her and especially when they sexualize her.
I've had those moments were I decided to put everything of her away, and I did. But never managed I to give up on her completely, I just can't.

Only just recently I learned that my love for her is stronger. What others are saying can't pull us apart.
These times, whenever I get pissed off at shit like that I just embrace her tightly, knowing that I will always be the one loving her the most.

Must admit that I do sometimes just want to give up because the pain sometimes isn't bearable,
or I still end up thinking the other people who "claim" her as their waifu are better then me. And I end up feeling pretty shitty.
>> No. 11517 [Edit]
Its good to see, that there are other people like me in this case.

>Must admit that I do sometimes just want to give up because the pain sometimes isn't bearable,
Especially this is hard. Not only for me, for my waifu propapably as well. I dont want to be for her that jealous piece of shit. But to be realistic: Being jealous about a 2D character is more than just unnormal. Yeah, the love definetly is true, im sure about that. I love her more than anything else, and thats maybe our problem: We love her so much that its like a disgrace to see other people casually saying "lol, i love X, shes so funny XD"
But its a really painfull love if its getting so serious that were hurting ourself mentaly.

My hopes are that i may come back to reality a little bit if i live "normal" for a while. I may think about her often enough, but it couldnt hurt not to see her "passive" all the time.
>> No. 11518 [Edit]
I used to get angry when people talk about her. I'm not sure what happened, but I just don't care anymore whatever is said about her. Over the internet, of course. These people are nothing to be getting upset over. To be completely honest, I don't think taking a break will cure you of your problem. I think you have to either get used to it or find another way, because taking a break is only going to delay your pain for a while and it'll come back even harder the next time. What did I do to get over this pain? A bunch of things, I guess. I've seen things that depict her in the most demeaning ways and well, I just don't think of it as much. If anything, the only response you can get from me is "How rude". I also don't think anyone really understands our love for our waifu. To everyone, I think that the idea is completely foreign and unheard of, so what they say shouldn't be taken with any sort of seriousness, as everyone is entitled to their opinion. They're not trying to hurt you, and actually, I think it's unfair if I was to get angry because they're just trying to laugh and have fun.

It's different when someone close to you insults your relationship, though. My closest friends, whom I would entrust my life to, know of my relationship with my waifu and understand how sensitive I am. If they were ever to knowingly say things about my waifu and I, only then I would get extremely hurt, and I wouldn't know what to do.

As soon as I finished typing this I feel as if it's not related to your situation at all, OP. Sorry if this is true.
>> No. 11533 [Edit]
I honestly wouldn't go off and call it "unnormal" in any relationship being it 2D or 3D there is jealously.
What our problem is though, and I'm sorry for saying it so bluntly, is that she isn't real. We can't hold her in our arms of course we would get more jealous if people were to talk about her.
We can't just go and hug her when we read a insult about her.
At moments like that I like to think "Well, she isn't real to them either". I've come to accept that people say they like her or so. After all, she is a idol.

Though, I don't think putting it away is going to help at all. I've done it back in November. I put everything I had of her in a box, changed my wallpapers and so on. And wanted to give up on her, thought to myself "I don't love her any more". Didn't help at all. I kept constantly thinking of her till a point that I realised that I was still in love with her because I just couldn't stop thinking of her even after I had put everything of her away.

God, I should learn from you. Both our waifus are from the same franchise as well.
But I still struggle with this shit on a daily basis. But now I can easily ignore insults, and push them away very quickly as well.
There is just one or two things that still pisses me off greatly, though I try to not show any of that.
But whenever I do end up thinking off it, it makes me depressed a lot and makes me want to do the same as OP. Even ending my life has crossed my mind
>> No. 11570 [Edit]

I use to compliment suicide as well because I couldn't handle the pain that follows after seeing some people talk negatively about her. What else can I say?... I mean. If you really want to get stronger, might as well force yourself to see the worst-- bring it upon yourself, harden your skin. Other than that, are other peoples' comments really worth your time? I'm not trying to speak for your or anyones' waifu, but does she really want to see you in pain for things that aren't supposed to be specifically directed towards you anyway? Those are the reasoning I've come up with to become mostly immune to randoms talking shit, and even lewd stuff. It worked for me, so I'm suggesting trying it as well. It might feel wrong, to force yourself to look at the worst, but really.. you either get strong and deal with it, or you turn off your internet and live a life away from other peoples' opinions and jokes (aka, running away).

Did you know how much shit I had to go through just to get over the cucumber joke? I myself didn't even really think much of the doujin, but holy hell did it get me angry the first times I saw it being posted around. Now, I can just laugh it off because, well... I mean.. cucumbers? Really?.. What am I supposed to get mad about? It can't be helped, I guess.
>> No. 11576 [Edit]
>bring it upon yourself, harden your skin. Other than that, are other peoples' comments really worth your time?
Well, I've done that of course. I can ignore shit like "she smells" easily now. Hell, they can say that shit all they want as for I know they don't like her as much as I do.
The thing that makes me go crazy with rage is when they sexualize her, or some guy going in details on how he would like to see a fatalplus doujin of her.
That shit makes me fill with so much hatred and rage that I could kill somebody right on the spot without thinking. I visualize shit upon reading so that makes me even more pissed.

I'm not for running away at all, hell. If I must I rather fight. Like, outdo their lewd comments if I must.
It's fine if it comes from her husbando who doesn't necessarily mean it. Is my thought.
But I want to protect her shiny smile. She would totally get mad at me getting upset at this, for sure.

It's just too god damn hard to get over it. Even using "I love her so freaking much I should stop worrying about it" doesn't seem to hold any notable result for me.

I even had trouble with the 'suffering' stuff in the very beginning. Makes me glad I wasn't around /a/ during the airing of the 2011 anime.
>> No. 11590 [Edit]
Breaking up with my princess? I would never let that ever happen, I might take a breather alone if I am angry but I won't break off my relationship just like that temporarily. I have no idea, but I really feel I want to be committed to this relationship and I would never let that go because the memories I have experienced with her made me really happy despite the tough times I go through. Every time I look at her, she makes me smile and laugh which is something I would never ever lose. That is why I want to attach her to every place that I could remind myself of her and let it stay that way. I hardly even change my desktop wallpaper I have on my computer for almost half a year because that picture of her is when she smiles the brightest and I could never change a picture so heartwarming like that in an instant. In my opinion, I don't think breaking off with her in a week will help me tighten the bond with my relationship with her, I think I have gotten to the point where it would get worse if I break it off now.

And as for whether to my reaction if other people love the same princess as I do, I wouldn't mind their great tastes, just as long they treat her right and make her happy is all what I could ask for. I might feel a bit jealous and a bit possessive but at the same time, but if they are worthy enough to comfort my princess, I can breathe my sigh of relief. However if they treat her like shit and they claim to like her, then I will make them suffer to the point they don't want to live anymore. In the end, I would usually imagine myself into other parallol universes where I have my version of Iori to my own universe and the others have their own versions of Iori in their own different universe.
>> No. 11753 [Edit]
File 136101688541.jpg - (34.96KB , 393x348 , Liz.jpg )
Seeing that someone else likes my current waifu (ttp://check.animeblogger.net/2009/08/15/omamori-himari-tea-earl-grey-hot/), I may have to break up with her. I do not want any form of "competition" and the fact that someone also likes her even before I know the character feel that my love for her is invalidated, thus I will kick her out from being my waifu.

I may find a new waifu soon
>> No. 11755 [Edit]
It's really shame if you have to leave your waifu because of that. Still I kind of understand how you don't like competition at all.
>> No. 11756 [Edit]
>I may find a new waifu soon
You mean someone who you know for a fact no one else on the whole planet, online or offline, does not like? What will that relationship be like, a constant search for a reason the ditch the new one? Doesn't seem very practical, nevermind the sincerity of such an affection. Whatever boats your float, I guess.

Regarding the OP; personally I can deal with about anything other than straight up disrespect from my fellow peers. My personal relationship with my waifu is none of whoever's business, and likewise it's none of mine what others think of that very character. I know in my heart that my image of my waifu is my own and unique by nature. No one can challenge this but me for myself, and you for yourself. By such train of thought you are your own greatest challenger for your own love, as you are the only one maintaining it. I don't see how you can legitimately give others blame for turbulence in this kind of relationship. Then again it can't be helped if your peers give you grief for whatever reason, unless you are actively seeking it out. Which leads me to my concluding question: did you truly _not_ ask for this, OP? On the other hand I don't see any problems with restructuring one's set of symbolic actions and arrangements that make out the practical sense of each own's personal love.
>> No. 11757 [Edit]
You and I have very diferent views of the same issue.
I know that there might be other people that might love her since longer or with more comittement or more likeable than me. However that doesn't mean that my feelings towards her lose their value because of that. I want to keep my feelings because they are part of me which I couldn't live without. The fact that they began later than someone else's doesn't change the fact that they are still there.
That's just my opinion though.
>> No. 11758 [Edit]
I share this sentiment. The fact that the feelings are there, they're real and they're precious is good enough for me.
>> No. 11761 [Edit]
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I'm honestly surprised I was able to read that entire post without the bile in my throat making an emergency exit.
>> No. 11762 [Edit]
Your mentality is like that of an utterly selfish child who cannot bear the idea of sharing a toy. It's somewhat infuriating.
>> No. 11768 [Edit]
Does she really mean that little to you?
>> No. 11770 [Edit]
File 136110616321.jpg - (49.50KB , 570x439 , Liz 2.jpg )

I am still thinking if I should find one or still stick to with her...


Well I feel very insecure about someone who happen to have the same waifu as I grew thinking that I am the only one who likes an anime girl beyond the mere idea of a "favorite character"...


It's because someone had to ruin it for me, particularly when I used to love my first waifu, seeing that one of them sees others who like that anime girl as "obstacle" for him and the other one have to make a drama wank and send it to my email.

>> 11768

I have to be honest, she means a lot to me but my insecurities affects my judgement. While I want to divorce her, at the same time I do not want to divorce her.
>> No. 11772 [Edit]
File 13611082268.png - (48.25KB , 1063x360 , 2D jelaousy (fragments).png )
>> No. 11774 [Edit]
I guess its just me not having that mindset, but that seems a little extreme. There is someone I know who has Tomo as his waifu and I don't mind it. In fact we're friends on Steam and the talk of waifus don't really come up. Plus have you tried ignoring things like what you linked? Its like how I'll ignore the R-18 stuff of her on pixiv because its painful looking at how people treat her.
>> No. 11775 [Edit]
Why don't you just learn to ignore them? It bothers me when I see someone say they love my waifu like I do, but I just learned to ignore since there isn't anything I do. I can't blame them either. Leaving her just because someone else likes her is completely stupid to me.

I agree. In fact, stuff like that makes try even harder to be worthy of her.
>> No. 11798 [Edit]
File 136160363282.jpg - (317.26KB , 800x628 , 27635174 - いおりん.jpg )
Look, I have already seen a bunch of undeserving idiots on other sites who 'claim' to have Iori as their waifu, but I would have to expect it, because Iori herself is such a fantastic and brilliant idol (in my opinion), it's hard for people not to love her. And what did I do? I just have my own superiority complex mindset that I deserve their love more than them if they don't really deserve it. I don't have to convince them that my love is superior, since I don't really waste my time talking to idiots who think they deserve their waifu more than anyone. I might be selfish for doing so but I am not going to let some prick ruining it for me. I don't deserve the love of a princess, but I will always love her, no matter what.

Just because there are some competition in it, doesn't mean you get the right to divorce them because of that. I find that sort of excuse weak, did you ever love your waifu enough regardless of any circumstances? If you have a waifu, you are committed to her, no exceptions. I deal with this kind of situation by trying to improve myself for her so that she is happier more than any other person. Making her smile is far more rewarding than someone who just treats her just like a joke or buying a shit tonne of merchandise of her to prove that their love is better than anyone.

You are just as bad as one of those people who change waifus every single season and no offense, that really angers me. I know you can do whatever the heck you want and love whoever you want, but if you keep this kind of behaviour constantly, I don't think you should really belong here, until you stop ditching 'your favourite character' just because 'someone already loves her' mentality. If you don't really want some competition, then why don't you learn how to draw and make your own character so that nobody would even dare call her their waifu? I have seen someone here mentioning somebody like that and I think that's adorable. I also see some of the people here don't like their waifu being shared, but even if they feel uncomfortable that someone else is loving her, I love the fact that at least they are committed to their love and simply ignore the competition itself. That shows at least they are really serious about their love and not bullshitting with pitiful excuses.

Sorry if I sound like an asshole but I just don't want to see someone here not being faithful to their love after I have seen some other idiot in another place ditching their love for my waifu for another fucking shitty character. It makes me cringe.

Post edited on 22nd Feb 2013, 11:15pm
>> No. 11799 [Edit]
File 13616042727.jpg - (214.94KB , 480x640 , 33776450.jpg )
I'm surprised you put that much effort into a post replying to such an intolerable scumbag.
>> No. 11800 [Edit]
You're never gonna find a anime character who isn't someone's waifu. so don't worry about it so much.
>> No. 11801 [Edit]
I still love my current waifu but I do not want to experience what I endured before when someone sent me an email which would not be irritating but he made a drama about it that it irritated me and he didn't do this once. And thanks to him, this also led me to be insecure with my old waifu that I divorced her just to stop him from nagging me.

I do not want to repeat my old mistake but there some out there that are hard to ignore because they will keep nagging you.
>> No. 11806 [Edit]
Tell the guy to go fuck himself and remind him that anyone can like any character they want.
>> No. 11809 [Edit]
Confidence is the key. If you know you are worthy of her (and you must, if you chose to call her waifu), then you must be competitive enough to be able to ignore such guys. If they start acting like douches, it's them becoming unworthy of her. Never disregard her feelings or character.
>> No. 11814 [Edit]
>If you know you are worthy of her (and you must, if you chose to call her waifu)
Of course no. Personally, all I need is some character to love and that's her. I don't need to think that she'd love me back and, in fact, I couldn't love anyone who loved the likes of me (for what a shitty girl that would be)...

I mean: you don't need to think any higher of yourself than it corresponds not to care about all the idiotic 2D jealousy induced drama. You just need to stop behaving as if a waifu was an actual (3D/animalistic) gf, which is not.

Post edited on 23rd Feb 2013, 10:21pm
>> No. 11816 [Edit]

>and you must, if you chose to call her waifu)

>> No. 11822 [Edit]
I think I'm starting to develop a problem that may end up doing damage to our relationship if unattended.
You see, during some time I used to heve her as inspiration to do things for her, improve myself... And over all, I wanted (and still want) to be with her.
However the problem is that this is something impossible to achieve, no matter what I do I can't be with her. After yearning so hard for something that I couldn't achieve I started feeling stronger and stronger apathy which led me to bad moods and sadness.
Now it seems like my subconcious is trying to make me feel better, like it's supposed to do. However the way my brain is trying to do so is to root out the original cause of this, my love for her, or at least replace it with something else.
The problem is that I'm now contradicting myself, for one part I want to live and be happy so I can't ignore/deny what my brain is trying to do, however I can't go with it because I love my waifu so much it would repulse me to eventually do something that right now I find horrible.
I can't keep this contradiction going on much longer or I would eventually fall in one of the two paths that I don't want to follow.
I wonder if this is by some lack of internal strength, the one thing my waifu has tried to teach me through all the time we've been together. Maybe I'm trying to blame my subconcious for what it's my fault for not being as strong as she is. I don't know. I'm just really confused right now as to what should I do.

Anyway that's how it is, at least writing it down makes me feel a little better
>> No. 11824 [Edit]
The big rule comes to mind before you actually drop her or anything.

"How do you think she would feel?"

Even if someone were to have the same waifu as you and you felt like you had to break up with her for that reason, look at it from her POV. Would you let that time you spent with her go to waste just because of something so immature?
>> No. 13325 [Edit]
This pain is me to a T. I love her, and she used to boost me up every time I saw her and motivated me to do things for her, but now I am in ruin because I know I will never be with her, have contemplated suicide enough to have me sent to the ER and start seeing a psychiatrist, and my overall life feels completely lifeless. I love her, but my love and various other factors are eating me up inside. I spend every day hating the fact that I want to live it, and beg for an external being to kill me so I don't have to think of my problems anymore or feel the guilt associated with suicide.

I don't know what to do or what is right.
>> No. 13333 [Edit]
Never. The only thing even remotely close to it is taking time off once in a while from her show, since it's pretty lengthy. I actually felt guilty about it for a while, but I remembered that you can't force that stuff, and watching other shows keeps things fresh.
>> No. 13440 [Edit]
I'm the guy you are replying. You see, since that post a lot of things happened too in my end of the line. It has been a long journey but it gave me time to think things over about what I really wanted and how to deal with my situation. So, I realized a couple things on the way here. So I will say them, although it may be a little harsh.

You are not loving your waifu correctly.
Snap out of it.

You see, the more you "do things for her" or "improve yourself for her" or, in most cases, try to identify yourself as your waifu instead of you, the more you'll realize that you can't never have her, because she has never been something you could touch/you could express your feelings too/reciprocate your feelings since the very beginning of your relationship.
Right now you aren't loving her for what she really is, but for what you want her to be.
You want her to love you and to praise you for your effords, completely disregarding that she cannot do so.
That's because she is closer to an ideal than to a person. You are asking an ideal to act as a person, which is impossible since people aren't ideal and ideals aren't people.
But I propose you something, and trust me, I know how hard it can be but it's worth it. Stop wanting to be an ideal yourself and be the person that you are. Love (or stop loving) your waifu for what she really is. Start doing things for yourself, improve for your own sake, and most of all, stop being just a shadow to your waifu, always chasing behind her image.
That's pretty much it. If you can do it you're pretty much set.
>> No. 13451 [Edit]
Guy you replied to here, I am confused on how exactly I would go about doing this...Now, at least, it isn't thoughts of her that make me feel suicidal, but whenever I think about her I feel like there is some kind of doubt that I cannot explain. This doubt makes me feel empty. I love her, yet I feel empty. It's so confusing.
>> No. 13453 [Edit]
>Love (or stop loving) your waifu for what she really is.
>what she really is.
>an ideal
You mean something accessible only as an idea, somewhat like mathematical entities? I could very well agree with that.

Post edited on 24th Sep 2013, 4:01pm
>> No. 13455 [Edit]
I understand, however now the only one who can answer your inner doubts is yourself, so I cannot be of any more help.
It took me months to find my own answer, so don't rush it, let the things flow, don't think too much of it and keep moving forward. Before you know it you'll be on the road again, that's how life goes.
Just take it easy and you'll find your own answer eventually.

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