When my dad died, got depressed and stopped doing schoolwork. Then I failed classes and became more depressed. It was a vicious cycle until I dropped out of HS. Since then, life hasn't had much prospects for me.

When I was a kid my two best friends suddenly decided they didn't like me anymore, and started being mean to me on a daily basis. I think that's what set me down the path of being a shut in misanthrope

Probably when my one childhood friend moved away, but I blame myself regardless.

When I started school. I was bullied as a child and everything in my life has went downhill from there. I blame my parents for oversheltering me though. I wasn't allowed to have friends because they were so fucking overprotective. Granted I think parents need to be protective of their kids to a point but I see few take the appropriate balance in my opinion. I wasn't allowed to be friends with some kids "because we dont know their parents". All of this lead to me being socially retarded for all of my life. I did eventually make one friend but he moved away and we drifted apart which is my biggest regret. My parents didn't like him. They were actually happy when they realized we had drifted apart. Then theres people who wonder why there are kids who kill their parents.

They're the opposite with my little brother (who is 12) he can do whatever the hell he wants and get away with it. They've ruined their kids with both extremes of sheltering.

I don't think there's a specific turning point in my life. There were some abrupt moments of despait, but the main causes for me turning out the way I did lie in the environment I was raised in.

1) My arrogant father cut relationships with every friend he's ever had after he got married, meaning I spent the first 4 years of my live never seeing anyone besides mom, dad and bro, and occasionally grandparents and uncles. My family was never very talkative and didn't like parties, so I sort of learned this as being the norm: Social retardation seeds planted.
2)Said father believes he's better and smarter than everyone else just because he's a doctor and read some science fiction in college, but he's actually just a grumpy lonely old man who's cut relations with the world. He managed to convince me most people were evil, useless and expendable (while our family was special) as soon as I learned to speak. It helped me dedicate myself to studies cause he praised inteligence so much and I admired him at first, but it also made me an arrogant asshole for all of my childhood and most of my teens, which in turn led me to have very few (read 'no real') friends.
3)Over-protective mother who probably was responsible for ruining my father's life had no friends by the time she got married. Never let me hang out with other kids outside of school before I was 10. She's probably a very important factor in making me lazy, clumsy and a coward since she put all of her efforts in never letting me do anything more risky than riding a bike in circles in the backyard.
4)Some bullying at school, but not so much, I mostly went by ignored after 2nd grade.
5)Slow realization during teens that daddy's worldview was sick, he and mommy were very sad, lonely people and that I'd wasted a promising life by spending childhood alone playing video-games and watching TV cause "Kid's who get good grades always succeed at life, so you don't have to worry." and "He's so inteligent and polite! I wish my son was like that." I actually loved hearing that. Makes me want to puke.

I know it sounds like I blame my parents, but that's not the case. I think they're the main cause of me being who I am since I was pretty much raised in a closed room only they had access to, but they were never bad people. They're just as scared and fucked up as I am. I don't blame myself either, even if I have many unresolved regrets about not taking oportunities in life.

All of my life has been a mess, but I don't hate it.

I think that if no one expected something from me I would be happier. I just want to live a quiet life.

>>1906

I know exactly what you mean. When I look at my life, I don't really see myself as miserable. I enjoy most of the things that I do. The great source of anxiety is being looked down by other people for not being ambitious enough or for not wanting to be a part of mainstream culture.

>>1905
I have the same type of father. When I was little I didn't know better so I thought he was normal and copied everything he did. When I started HS I couldn't make any friends and it messed me up. Sometimes I blame him for making me who I am and it makes me feel slightly better.

>>1907
I agree with this. I hate being pressured, condescended to, and judged for taking it easy and liking the things I like. I'm not hurting anyone.

as far as socializing goes?
when I was born
I come from a long line of engineers so its my destiny.
I was talking to my old man the other day and I found out he doesn't have any friends and struggles to relate with other people.
chip off the old block eh?

>>1912
Assuming you're not working and living on your own, your complacency hurts the people that financially support you. Everyone would love to sit around and only do the things that they like to do. You're taking advantage of their hard work and kindness.

It's not too much to at least expect you to be self-sufficient. The social stigmatization of a NEET comes from the perception that you're using others for self-satisfaction, and aren't putting in any effort on your own. I don't think it directly relates to your personal interests. They might see you playing games all day and wonder why you aren't putting that sort of effort into your studies or work. Then, when they chastise you, you might perceive it as being discrimination against your personal interests. In some cases, maybe it is. But those are not people, so you can disregard them.

Often I see the "normals" patronized here, but our behavior is truly the more disgraceful. We aren't elites that couldn't be bothered to conform to social standards. We're the dropouts that were unable to cope as well as everyone else.

I enjoy the freedom that I have at the expense of others, but I know that what I do is not harmless. And I know that it cannot last. Sure, I hate being condescended to as well. However, I quietly take it like a bitch, because that’s the tradeoff for free time at the expense of others.

Social pressure to do good in school and the like may be undesirable for selfish reasons, but it's not without merit of its own.

I just wish I wasn't so scared to talk to people. Even in online games I don't like it when people talk to me with voice, and I don't like talking

>>1914
I actually am working and living on my own. I was talking more about being unsociable and having exclusively nerdy/otaku interests.

My post was lacking context so your assumption makes sense, but don't be too quick to jump on people.

>>1916
I didn't mean it personally.

>>1898
Forget about them. From now on I'm your best friend.

>>1924

>>1924
>>1925

Can I be a best friend too? I never got to be the best friend of anyone...

>>1926
We are all best friends!

>>1926
>>1927
You're damn right we are.

>>1925
>>1926
>>1927
Do any of you use Steam? It'd be nice to play videogames with each other.

>>1929
There is a tohno-chan steam group. There is a link on the FAQ tab on the homepage, or under the board title on /vg/.

>>1930
Thanks.

Nobody really does anything on the steam group. At least, not that I know of.

i think i wasnt supposed to have been born, and thats why my life is so shitty.

There isnt really anyone to blame, so i just say 'fuck it' and try to make the best out of what i have got.

>>1933
My parents always tell me how my mother getting pregnant with me saved their lives, since that's what made them get off drugs. I guess I can always say things would be worse if I were never born

>>1935
my parents have told me i was an accident.
Right to my face.

They are good parents but still, how the fuck can you just say something like that.
I also almost died when i was born due to a lack of oxygen, but they managed to 'save' me.

I think all the shit i feel is the world trying to compensate for a life that wasnt meant to be. Maybe its trying to kill me, drive me to suicide.
And thats why i say Fuck It, gives me satisfaction knowing my very existence is a spit in the face of god himself.

>>1936

mine are the same and I almost died because the doctor didn't do the c-section right. Although I'm unsure if they mean it in a negative way, how I came about can be described with one word:beer. Also apparently my mom only married my dad out of fear he'd try and take me away from her or some shit. She goes off and on about it though and I'm really unsure of if she cares for him--half the time she loves him half the time she hates his guts.

My life went wrong in middle school.

Then it went right in high school.

>>1938
then it took a left at Albuquerque


>>1937
at least you know your mother cares enough about you to be with a man she seemingly hates.

>>1936
Accidents are actually fairly common. You're you, regardless. They could have just gave you to a church or aborted you.

>>1940
i realize that, i was an accident not a mistake.
Still, you can imagine how fucked up it is to hear it said.

I'm just a failure and stupid. I never did well in school or socializing. I don't blame anyone but myself, I have a loving mother that believes in me and wants the best for me. I thought I did shitty in high school because I was just lazy but when I went to college this year I tried more then I ever have but I only manage to get by because I plagiarize so much of my work.

I don't think anything 'went wrong', really. It feels more like it was meant to be this way from the beginning.
Of course, I'm not trying to dodge the responsibility here. I won't say it was because of 'fate', because of my parents, because I had no friends, because x, y or z. It was my fault entirely and that's all there is to it. Sure, I had no friends but nobody bullied me, my parents didn't exactly complain about me all that much and the teaching staff was surprisingly understanding (as I long as I showed up to take the tests everything was fine in their book).
I was just a lazy, good-for-nothing bum.

But when (durning my junior year at high school) everything looked like it's so messed up that there's no way to fix it a person who was willing to help me out appeared. Everything improved drastically, I managed to pull my shit together and even though I still struggled with my amazing laziness I usually manged to overcome it. I was doing well at school again (and managed to actually avoid repeating a year, even though it looked absolutely hopeless), wasn't so nihilistic and melancholic anymore and I thought that miraculously everything might take a turn for the better. We were making plans to pick universities in the same city and rent an apartment where we could live together. A story straight out of a book or a movie, complete with lots of cliches but not only was it actually happening in real life, it happened to me of all the people. Can you believe it?

But just when [i]I[/] finally managed to believe it shit hit the fan. I was less melancholic and on better days one could even say I'm cheerful, sure, but those days were few and far between and most of the time I still preferred to stay locked up in my room planning my suicide. Unsurprisingly it was more then she could take and so we felt apart. In a short period of time I was back to my old self and after few months I dropped out of high school.

Can't really blame her, though. If we had never met thigns would have turned out the same way I guess. She just bit off more than she could chew. But, I can tell you when thing for sure. Ever heard the saying 'it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'? That might just be the biggest lie ever told.

>>1935

>I guess I can always say things would be worse if I were never born

You can't imagine how envious I am right now. Oh how I wish I could say something like that.

>>1936

>my parents have told me i was an accident.
>Right to my face.
>They are good parents but still, how the fuck can you just say something like that.

Is it really that big of a deal? If my parents were to tell me I was unplanned I wouldn't exactly mind. What's the difference, really? It might've been an 'accident', sure, but in the end they didn't abort you and as you mentioned yourself they are good parents so obviously they care about you.

Another thing I never understood (and won't ever understand) are people who turn batshit (in all kinds of ways) after hearing they were adopted. Why does it matter? The people who brought you up are obviously your family, how the hell can someone be retarded enough not to undertsand such simple concept? I'm far from being thick-skinned but if my mother would tell my I'm adpoted and sometime after my 'real' mother would appear I would tell her to get lost.

Things started going down the drain after moving to a new town at age 11. The school I started going to was full of normals who all hated me for whatever reason. Not a single person was like me in any way, even in interests. So I shut up and never talked to anyone unless I absolutely needed to.

Then later on during my senior high school year I meet up with a group of "outcasts" who seem to have all known each other since they were pretty young. They all loved video games and anime just as I did, and despised normal people. Hell, some of them were dating. They accepted me, but it was too late for them to really get to know me as graduation was only a couple months away and I wouldn't see them again after that. It felt like I was cheated or something.

Life for me started to go downhill in 8th grade. 8th grade was when I realized that people didn't like people who were "weird". Prior to then, it's really kind of funny, I felt proud when people called me weird. Like it was a compliment.
Then, after 8th grade, I stopped being 'weird' and happy. I moved to a new town, and when I entered school there, I just got really sad. I let all of my melancholy show on the outside - I didn't feel obligated to positivity anymore, to play the fool, so to speak. In 9th grade, there was a (real) girl who I looked forward to seeing every day. I don't know why, I guess I had a crush on her. We barely spoke, and when we did, I just mumbled vague replies. I don't know why I'm talking about this here, but I think that it's because of that, that I just sunk into the dumps even more. I can't help but wonder, if I actually got her to fall in love with me, if everything would have been better. Maybe it would have been worse, but I feel I'm getting off-topic.

So, I went through high school, and eventually, life, as a melancholic, nihilistic asshole. 11th grade was when I stopped caring completely. All because I realized people didn't like "weird". It's such a ridiculous thing...

I don't blame anyone, or think anyone else is responsible. I think I am, of course, but I don't count, do I?

But, it's really, really odd, I wouldn't change any of it at all. I mean, I'm a fuck-up with no prospects, and no ambition. I should want to change my life, but I'm fine with it. It's just that sometimes I wonder what could have been, and it hurts. Ah, well, all I need is some vodka and my best friend, and life seems a little bearable, regrets and all.

I don't think my life went wrong. Actually, when I think about it, I wouldn't want anything changing from my life. One could say my life is horrible and terrible; but I just find it normal, not like I deserve it, but more like I can't do anything about it whether I want to or not.

But for the sake of this topic, I guess I can find out what would've made me a "successful person". Maybe it was during middle school. I was always skipping classes, trying to act like some sort of badass. I started being less healthy, and my loveable trap skin went to shit. I started gaining weight too. I loved a 3D girl back then and I sort of just failed trying to get her to love me back. Afterwards, I just decided to go shut myself in forever and divulge in otaku hobbies.

Now, for cleanup-- I really do think my life went for the better on that one. I wouldn't have met my loving waifu, I wouldn't have such a great hobby that I truly like doing, and boy; is my life really easy at the moment. Sure, it's going to be hard later on, but I think I can handle the minimum. If I became successful, maybe let's say I had alot of friends and an actual 3D 3DPD, I'm thinking realistically, and it's a real foggy thought. I don't think I would have mentally survived. Better now than later I'm assuming.

Oh, and how do I cope with guilt? You don't get guilty, that's how. Don't blame yourself for what happens, cause it already happened. There have been many times where I said "Fuck, I wish I should have done this instead of that.", when I could have been leisurely spending my time how I want it to be spent.