When I do I just get worried

I always live in the now and try to live with no regrets. The future seems to uncertain to rely on. You say Japanese isn't a good thing to study because there are no jobs, your mom wants you to study what you enjoy. I believe she is in the right.

Education nowadays has been perverted to being all about the job afterwards. What ever happened to education for the sake of education? Just do what you enjoy and don't fret over the future.

I'm often forced to think about the future because I'm at the stage in my life to where I'm a professional. I then smoke a cigarette or take a drink after which I do the bare minimum needed to survive. It sucks.

I have no motivation and nothing I'm passionate about. It probably sounds pretty lame but whenever I try to think of my future it usually turns into me asking, 'when should I kill myself?' I really can't find anything meaningful in life.

I cry just thinking about tomorrow. Asatte sends me into a weeping moan.

>>1052
My near future should be finishing my thesis, getting (at last) my college degree, and probably looking for a PhD; and well, it's my better option... but it sucks. I don't even want to talk about it any more; I just don't want it: it's wrong. I can't think of any lifeproject wich doesn't cover me with frustration and/or shame...

So now I really try to avoid thinking about the future. That being helped by realizing that whatever I could possibly have understood as "future" (or some sort of autumn years), actually arrived and stuck already; a bit like this writter said: when we are young, horizon seems really far and unreacheable; but, before we're aware of it, we have become the very horizon ourselves; everything already passed, and we either failed ot missed it. So I just live as I am: old, and as if I have already died; just living by the day, trying not to be just a burden but also a company an happiness for may family, for the time being.

>>1051
now I'm not op but got talked into studying jap by my mom too, but personally I prefer self study by a large margin..

I'm similar to your case OP. I'm studying Graphic Design in college, but the problem is that I've done it for fun, but I'm not really good at it. I like to think that I'm an artistic person, but I'm really just marginally better than if somoene at random decided to try and do it. Same with videogames which I get hailed by family as great at, it's not that I'm good, but that they suck so bad it makes me look good. Pretty much the same as far as the computer wiz thing goes too.

Thing is I hate college, but I have this feeling of obligation to my family to go through it. Anymore though it feels like I'm dead and about to snap at any moment, I feel like I'm going crazy anymore, its like theres two parts of me... the part that wants to go insane and the part that doesn't. I feel like if I ended up going nuts I wouldn't be so miserable, but yet theres the part that fears it.

>>1061
Self study can only take you so far with a language.

I only think about present and future, never about past.

It's just useless.

>>1071
That's the best advice I've ever heard. Thinking about the past and the opportunities I'd lost made me miserable for a while. Only by eventually letting go of that was I able to move on and improve myself.

Google-Fu is definitely a skill, OP. Maybe you should consider blogging and learning search engine optimization.

Really, that is the dream job for a hiki if you can make it profitable. It's difficult, though, and would likely require training. However, a lot of it is probably available online.

>>1092

Is it possible to make decent money out of that?

>>1092
google likes to ban people's blogs at the drop of a hat, not something I'd recommend.

>>1092
My brother did that for a year. With hard work you can earn enough to live on. However, it is very hard to prosper doing it.

I'm part of a blogring.

First I'd like say you won't make much. Consider it extra income (even if it's your only income).

Some days you might get $4, sometimes you'll go weeks without making $1. That's the way it is. You can cash out at $100 intervals once a month. It's taken me about three months and I'm only a few dollars short of cashing out. However you will need to fill out tax information to do this.

If you can be social enough, or put in enough effort you can make much, much more. There were people in the same ring who had $300 within the first month.

It mainly depends on skill and luck. However don't try going into this without a ring. A core of people to click each other's ads. This will be your primary (and potentially only source) of ad revenue.

And like >>1094 said, you can get randomly banned and lose all that potential money. Don't mention what you are doing as it's a scam. Make a legit blog, and never mention your ads or ask people to click them. This'll help you stay around a little longer.

>>1093

You can, but you really can't approach it as a get-rich quick scheme. Blog scams don't really pay off as Anonymous pointed out.

>>1104

Like I said, the blogring thing is not particularly lucrative...

There are, however, ways to do it (by actually providing something unique in your posts as well as effectively utilizing SEO) where you can generate enough revenue to at least pay your rent.

On a broader note, I wouldn't beat yourself up, OP. Just try to enjoy life. Do the things YOU think are fun. Don't impose societal norms on yourself. I'm sure society itself will try to do that more than enough in your life. You've just got to try to be comfortable in your own skin.

how do I get involved in a blogring like that?

one of my alternate personalities has a blog already but it doesnt really get any views and I never thought about making money off it.

>>1111
put ads on the blog, start posting on other people's blogs who you think are in on it, clicking their ads now and then, and adding them to your following list.
If you do that, they should follow you and click your ads in return.
That's how it worked with the one I was in anyway, though I did end up getting banned just before getting the first check.

>Do you guys like thinking about the future?

I can't think of that which I do not have.

>>1113

Then how do you buy new things?

>>1114
Only people with money get to buy new things. People with money tend to be the ones who have futures too.

>>1115

I suppose so, although that's kind of a depressing way to look at it. There's no telling where any of us will be a few years from now. For all we know we might find a way to be productive despite our social anxieties.

I haven't quit. I've been trudging along in school for the past couple years with somewhat mediocre grades but I won't let that stop me from trying. Even if I end up in a boring job I'll still have my hobby life and that counts for something.

My parents actually made me have a talk with them about it, since I failed a course/class for the first since I was born, with 90s my usual grade.

Long story short, I'm scheduled to see a psychiatrist with the hope they'll feed me some pill to make me work as a drone regardless of my feelings like OP has. Don't know if there is such a drug, but the responsibility for finding it is on the psych. If there isn't a quick and easy solution to get rid of the feelings of having no future worth caring about, then I'll just go on not caring about it.

Thinking about the future is something I really hate doing. It scares me. Not because of the unknown, but because of the impermanence of life. In addition to that, like the OP, I am not skilled at like...Anything. Nothing comes to mind at all. I like music, but I can't play anything. I like anime, but that doesn't help me at all. The mention of video games struck a chord with me as well. I mean, I am a complete and utter failure as a human being. Thinking about the future just terrifies me more than anything.
I prefer to just live day by day and pray that my waifu will come and basically save me from myself, in a sense. Of course, I'm not mentally inept enough to think that she actually will...It's just nice to pretend while I drift about, waiting for something to pop up and give me a current to follow.

Ah, the future, men have been thinking about it since the beginning of time. Whether that future was how to scavenge food for tomorrow, or how to sack Constantinople. There was a one article that I once read in Time (or was it Newsweek?) that one neuroscientist somewhere compared the human brain to a time machine. Thinking of the past and its many lessons, examining the present, and daydreaming of the future; the human brain is truly a time-machine that would make Dr. Who green with envy. Why, right now I am thinking of the past! I'm wondering where the hell this bizarre preamble came from!

Now, when I think of the future, I typically think of a very bleak and mediocre reality. Like most individuals cursed with a soul-crushingly cynical personality, I imagine that I will end up, at best, with a cookie cutter management position, a cookie cutter family, and, well, cookie cutter everything.

And at worse? Probably a crummy, low paying programming job, which can easily be taken away from me when the manager decides that an Asian is willing to work more hours for far less, without any of the pressures that a workers' union provides.

Yeah, even programming isn't safe from being outsourced to countries with low numbers of actual personal computers in the household. God bless capitalist America, home of rising unemployment rates, increasingly unskilled workers, and a disturbingly high number of lower class psuedo-libertarians with an extreme devotion to Laisez-Faire capitalism. May we never remember the lessons that the Gilded Age taught us.

*ahem*

So, anyways, (I kinda went off topic there) I lack an actual motivation, a long term goal goal if you will, in life. When I was a kid, I wanted to join the Air Force, and then go on to use the piloting and engineering experience that I acquired during my service to become an Astronaut (after government paid schooling, of course). However, my dreams of becoming either where smashed at a young age when I discovered two things: One, I have low bone density and arthritis (not useful in zero-G, which has the tendency to wear down your bones). And, two, I have an increasingly poor eyesight (not useful in the Air Force, despite my solid reaction time). And me, unfortunately not being born a self-entitled asshole, had terribly cheap health insurance that wouldn't pay for treatment for either (apparently, avoiding becoming a blind cripple isn't 'necessary to lead a normal lifestyle').

So, now, I just live day by day, no motivation, waiting to have enough money to afford a sex change, and generally going with the flow. My life is going to be boring and unmemorable. And, quite frankly? Its just another disappointing factor about my life. Tewi here knows all.

>>1125
I enjoyed reading your grandiose message.

>>1123

I don't know if there is any such drug (they fed me various SSRIs but none of them worked) but in my case it just... disappeared. Of course I managed to totally ruin my life over the course of that year I spent on contemplating it but now I don't feel anything at all. I'm not pissed, I don't really regret it, I'm not sad. Feels like it wasn't my life to begin with. I just don't give a shit anymore.

And to answer OP's question: not really, not anymore. Back in the day I spent half of my time in the past (regretting choices I could never change and just blaiming myself for all kinds of things) and half in the future (contemplating 'what if I hadn't done that', I never really thought about my future constructively). Since I turned ~15 I knew I don't really have any future as there's nothing that I can (and want to) do and even if there was 'I'm gonna die in the end so why bother'. I was obsessed with suicide and my mental noise didn't help me as all my thoughts ventually turned towards suicide.

So after years spent in the past and the future I just live ... I wanted to say 'live in the present' but I feel like I disappeared long ago, somewhere along the way.

>>1116
>but I won't let that stop me from trying

It doesn't matter how much you try in this society anymore. The vast majority of people around the world work back breaking labour jobs each day and what do they get for it? Barely enough to survive the next day.

I too will be just the next wage slave, working a dead end job. Marching every morning over to a workplace, which I despise, devoid of all hope for a better life. And finally when I cave in to the stress, when I can't take it anymore, I can peacefully take my own life and there will be no one there to stop me or even give a fuck.

Such is the plutocratic society we live in.

>>1128

Well, just try to enjoy the little things. We're all insignificant if you pan out far enough.

I try not to place too much emphasis on the grand scheme. I was left out of that plan. Instead, I'm going to try to be a positive member of the small circle I'm a part of and hope that when I die, the few people I knew and loved will say, "Too bad he's dead. He was pretty nice."

That's pretty much all I can hope for.

>Lately, I had been living in the past. Every night, I dreamed of long ago: the hometown I yearned for, friends, family, things I hadn’t liked, things that had made me happy, other various memories— fragments of all these things. My nightly dreams were gentle and melancholy.
>Indeed, the future had ceased to be a problem. It already had been decided, which was precisely why I needed to exist in the past—in my wonderful, comforting memories. While this was obviously an extreme form of backward escapism, I didn’t care anymore.

I see myself in the future as one of two things:
1. A much older NEET than I am now, who has kept up with the changes in technology and has finished nearly every series and game that exists, or
2. a homeless drifter that hops trains and drinks and does drugs as much as is possible.
I'm not particularly good at anything, so I think one of these things will happen.

Anyone else get lonely at night. I don't feel anything during the day but at night it just hits me. I usually avoid sleeping at night because I start thinking about my past and how bleak my future is.

>>1145
Usually the opposite for me.

At nighttime I am distracted by all of the forum/anime/manga/doujin and playing with myself. Really am busy at night.

The future is something I constantly question, espcally now that I haven't worked in months and I don't really have an idea for my education. I've been strongly considernig going to university year but I'm thinking vocational school will suit be better given the whole economy thing. Not to sure just yet.

I thought so much about my future as a kid I completely over thought everything and it just fucked me over. Oh well, it can't be helped now

>>1135
Same here, except replace 2. with "Dead".

>Despite studying Japanese for 2 and a half years, I only know how to read simple sentences and frequently used kanji.

Same here. I was motivated to start learning by a guy who claimed to have become fluent within 2 years of study. I'm coming on just over a year and am at the same level as yourself, if that. The most basic things, like grammar, still shit me up.

>>1152
>he Foreign Service Institute (FSI) of the US Department of State has compiled approximate learning expectations for a number of languages. Of the 63 languages analyzed, the five most difficult languages to reach proficiency in speaking and proficiency in reading (for native English speakers who already know other languages), requiring 88 weeks, are "Arabic, Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese, Korean". The Foreign Service Institute considers Japanese to be the most difficult of this group.

Suffice to say, there is no way you could learn Japanese in 2 years without already knowing something equally as crazy like Mandarin. I've been studying for about 3 years and can still say I suck too. It takes dedication to learn Japanese.

>>1154
I think thats silly. Mandarin or Cantonese definately is more difficult than Japanese.

>>1152
>>1154

B-But I'm adding a diploma in Japanese to my course this year. Now all this talk in this thread about how difficult it is has me worried.

>>1156

Just make sure you're serious about learning the language and will use it in life. If your only use is to read manga and watch anime untranslated, it'll be a waste of time. It's definitely hard, but you can learn it with time. Once you start on kanji, write and memorize it for everything you can think of, like putting sticky-notes on things with the characters. There are literally tens of thousands of them.

>>1156
Enjoy being 'overqualified' for every job you attempt to apply for.

>>1155
>>1154
>Chinese

Is it the moonrunes and the constant number of strokes that makes it hard to learn?

The grammar is pretty simple. I've been learning it ever since I was 5 or something, stopped when I was 10-11. I just have a horrible conversational command of it. Reading and writing are definitely fine. Still remember the exact order of strokes because the only way to learn is to write, write, write moonrunes over and over again. Can still read them, after 10 years of less exposure to it. Even Chinese have to use dictionaries whenever a new moonrune stumps them. Maybe I'll learn Japanese, because I usually have no trouble with Kanji (except for false cognates/friends), but I have trouble with words and kana (except simple ones).

lately I've been thinking about learning a language. I did Chinese in high school but I forgot everything (and I kinda failed 1 out of my 2 semesters of it).
I was thinking about looking into teaching English overseas. its not like I have any commitments or anything holding me down here so what do I have to lose?

>>1158
For real?

I hate thinking about the future. I have a plan for it, and am on track for it, but I still get really anxious and nervous whenever I think about it. For example whenever I think about applying to grad schools or jobs, let alone getting accepted or hired. It gets so bad I feel physically sick and go weeks getting only a few hours of sleep a night. I think the problem is that I don't have any confidence in myself, even though everyone around me has complete confidence in me.

It's so much better to just play eroge, fap, waste time on the internet, and not think about tomorrow.

>>1160
French, maybe? Apparently English's common vocabulary shares around 1/3 with French's. No idea what the differences are between grammar, though.

>>1160
Spanish is an obvious choice. It's useful most everywhere in the Americas, and if you want to end up teaching somewhere Spain seems like a good choice. I spent some time in Madrid once, nice place.

>>1164
>>1163
Yeah, maybe. But I was thinking that China is so big and growing so quickly that it must have the highest demand for English teachers.

Unfortunately the language is a bitch due to the tones and all those characters. On the other hand knowing the language does not seem to be a prerequisite for getting these jobs.

>>1165
Its so damn difficult that Chinese schoolkids can't read a newspaper until they're in third grade or something like that.

I actually read that some places prefer teachers who DONT know the local language because they want their students to be speaking English as much as possible.
I find it kind of hard to imagine living in a foreign country without knowing the language at all. But I have my heart set on this for the moment, I'm going to ask my case worker if they'll pay for me to do a TESOL course.

China and Korea are your best bet for English teachers.

Europe requires high-level education in English and they usually prefer people from the UK. Japan requires a bachelor's degree, but their English-teaching industry is shrinking.

>>1169
you can work in Japan without a degree if you have teaching experience. but thats probably not useful for anyone reading this.
apparently Latin America is also an option for non degree holders but the money isnt good.

I wouldn't suggest teaching as a viable career

http://www.physorg.com/news/2010-12-skorea-schools-robot-english-teachers.html

They're trying to be rid of them

Surely there has to be other decent overseas job choices aside from teaching English.

>>1172

You have options if you have skills

If you had trouble completing high school its probably not really an option.

I'd join the army if I could

>>1170
The money isn't good, but cost of living might be lower depending on where you work.

I wouldn't ever live in Latin America though, I'm too afraid of being kidnapped or killed by a drug cartel.

>>1174
Well, I do live in the fucking USA backyard potfam country...

It's quite dangerous indeed, even for comfort/relatively secure zones.
Most probably you'd become a hikki again, in here; and even faster.

When I think of the future, all I can think of is my death and how cold and lonely it will be.

When I think about my future, I think about eventually becoming isolated from everybody that I know. That is when I will immerse myself in hobbies and maybe drugs. I want to do the whole, accoustic guitar singing thing. I think I could make some beautiful stuff. I also want to make dubstep, haha. It will end with my suicide though. I'd like to get my hands on a gun, because that's the way I'd want it to go down. Maybe a big long suicide note too.
I hate thinking about the future.
As for making a living, I'm thinking something blue collar, maybe carpenter. I'm not sure about this university thing. My motivation comes and goes and I'm scared of writing papers.

>>1241

I would recommended you to be a electrician, easy as long as you're not stupid you won't shock yourself, and you don't have to get your hands dirty much.

>>1241
>As for making a living, I'm thinking something blue collar, maybe carpenter.

You know, nothing wrong with that these days. I read in a newspaper last week that here in Canada a PHd graduate makes on average about $38'000 US a year, no more than a construction worker. That's nothing for a PHd. The world economy is so wrecked it really isn't worth pushing for a long degree only to pay off thousands in a student loan.

>>1274
>in Canada a PHd graduate makes on average about $38'000 US a year

Sounds incredibly dodgy. I would not believe it.

>future
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAGjNQ6KFIo&feature=player_embedded#!

this is my future....;_;

>>1275
It depends heavily on the country, the context, and the profession. A shitty economical context usually drags everything in the dirt (unless the government/banks sports a decent financial rescue package), but if there's competition among the various firms for employees with the right qualification, the mean salary gets pushed. E.g. at my place an engineer with a master degree could expect, say, $138.000 as a first-time yearly salary. It's not easy to predict your future personal economy based on education/profession. Personally I'm probably going to take a chance on competence in width; there's not much money to be had in sociology anyway.

As for my personal cognitivity: I don't like dwelling too much on the future, even if I'd want to go fail-safe. Neither do I like dwelling on the past too much, as regrets and bad memories tend to overrule any potensial nostalgia present. That might be changing, though, as I've been trying not to sweat it the past few years. Sweating it usually gave me resulted in notions of distress. Awareness is key, but being aware without thinking one or several steps ahead can be somewhat puzzeling. But yeah, I'm not getting good grades in university; studying means work, work means angst, angst means depression... but still you have to deny yourself getting stuck in dark circles. It may turn out to be a paradox of sorts to some, but that might depend on your perspective. I'm still searching for the right perspective on life, and I have a feeling it'll get harder for every passing year as one may get sick of troubleshooting your life - failing never feels good, no matter what perspective you advocate; not for a pessimist anyway.

>>1275

Eh it's true...it was published in The Economist and sourced from our Government based on statistics.

A PHd just isn't worth money to employers anymore. They're "easy" degrees and so there are a lot of disposable people out there.

>>1277
Not half as bad as mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJXP1tfSBM

me in the background being silly