I generally feel like a human turd but I don't know if it's due to those two things specifically

I once read, don't remember where, something about one of the main differences between japanese and occidental/christian cultures being what their morals are based on: shame the former, guilt the second. Both deal with breaking a prescriptive/nomic code and being more or less ostracized as a consequence; but, whereas in shame the fault is acknowledged publicly and publicly as well is expected to be mend (and thus the conflict to disappear), in guilt the fault is acknowledged intimately (in solitude) and it's MEANT TO STAY, no matter what; i.e. it is the very fact that you'll never, ever, forget and get yourself forgiven for what you did, what allows you to function properly within a guilty society.

So: immense shame? sometimes, yeah, and I hate it; guilt? always; it's like a background noise; it's necessary. Guilt can be an overwhelmingly powerful drive to live, to go on, as you haven't finished yet paying for that shit you did, and thus your entire life is not just molded but actually preserved/founded by fault.

Sometimes.

Yes. Especially when I'm reminded of how often I don't match up to society's expectations.

Isn't this /so/ material?

I think this should be moved to /so/ indeed. But on topic I never feel much shame or guilt for much of anything but myself. I simply get heavily depressed because I feel so constricted and don't even have the ability to have the comfort of completely being myself anymore. There's some aspect of guilt in my mind about also not being worthy of life's pleasures because I haven't perfected myself enough. I'm very stressed out over that right now on top of my major depression that occurs deep in Winter since I'm extremely cold intolerant and everything is dead as well as usually covered in the disgusting white filth called snow. I was just on the verge of tears while cooking some rice a little while ago, something hit me hard today and reality as well as the personal guilt of never being good enough for myself won't stop torturing me physically and mentally.

Not immense, but yes, I tend to remember stupid shit I've done in the past quite frequently.

This belongs on /so/

Not really. There are some moments where I think to myself, "What the fuck am I doing...?"

Other than that, I'm perfectly fine with my life as it is, and even thought my future is hazy and shaky as hell, I've accepted whatever may come my way, good or bad-- mostly bad, though.