>I don't say you're a possible murderer, but do you believe some shameful experiences and abuse at your home could have lead you to be a kissless, self-loathing, misanthropic virgin? Ford Drivers, you're not allowed to answer in this thread. The more misaki hugging, lolicon loving nerd you are, the better answer you can give.
Misanthropic and kissless I am, but I don't hate myself. I see no reason to when I'm above and beyond what Ford Drivers dream of being. I've never had many friends, I can honestly say only 3 my entire life, and we have lost contact this last year. It's not like I need friends anyways, it always seemed like such a hassle to hang out or visit them. I could be using my time to have more fun by playing games alone. I only ever went out with them because I didn't want to seem like a jerk, and they wanted to be my friend so I would make them happy and visit their house, talk about nothing, or play a game I didn't really like with them. I'm actually happier now that I know I don't have to bother with them. How could they find just standing or sitting next to someone, in any way entertaining? My extended family does the same. They invite me and I go through the hassle of putting off things I want to do for later, and when I am in their home all we do is watch TV or eat food. If you don't have to discuss anything with me, why did you invite me over? Do you want me to decorate your home by standing there?
Speaking of sexual topics though, you should visit craigslist some time, the things people genuinely post is just disgusting. I used to be self loathing for being the kind of person that masturbates to u15 idols and ero manga, but that's tame compared to what Ford Drivers do. Just yesterday while looking through craigslist for my daily shock value fix, I found an ad from my own mom, asking to have sex with strangers while my dad would record it.
I already knew my mom was horrible, but this is just the worst. When they divorced, I remember she would hire a babysitter to watch me and my sibling while she dressed like a cheap prostitute and partied, then came back at noon after the babysitter had long left. The time her kike boyfriend invited us to his house, and had to show my mom a "painting" in his room, and had sex while me and my sister waited right outside the door.
People are really disgusting. I didn't even have it bad, I'm sure your parents and family members are exactly like this too, you just haven't found out about it or simply blocked it off. For the longest time I always thought of these shock value things as just that, made for shock and only popular because of how rare the events are. But now I see that these things are all around me, every single day. I just keep thinking, am I really the same specie as these people? Following that, why are beastly traits like lust and topics of sex okay, but ones like murder so wrong? Even the OP follows that train of thought. The only explanations I've had for that last question are with very faulty moral theories. Kant being the most popular, simply says you should not treat people merely as a means, and then just gives people an arbitrary value, as if everyone is worth the same. Another is utilitarianism, but I don't even need to get into how shitty and childish that is, you can't even measure happiness or suffering objectively.
I'm not trying to justify murder or anything like that, but its just one of those world topics I can't really wrap my head around. I really wish I could understand people more. The OP picture especially, I'd love to be in that position, so why am I not there right now? I also want to be warm, I want to be loved. Unlike many of you, I have zero problems, mental or physical. I am perfectly capable of work, I can't think of many careers that I wouldn't excel at. I can see there something that I want, so why do I not have it? Why can't I take all of the bad things about people, and just get rid them so I can enjoy only the good things? I'm sure this is just a mental block, something so small and inconsequential that once I fix I'll laugh at for how silly it was. I know I need to take control of my life and stop following a rut. Why can't I do it?