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8990 No. 8990 [Edit]
I hope this is the right place to post this.

I'm not sure if this is the best way to phrase this, but here goes anyway. I think I have a problem. You see, I have no redeeming qualities, and as such, do not think highly of myself. Because of that, I am incapable of imagining myself having a waifu, because I think that not even a 2D character would be capable of loving me.

Kinda pathetic, right? I can't even fantasize about being loved. It just seems too farfetched to me. I am not opposed to the concept of a waifu, but it just seems too unlikely for even an imaginary person to like me.

What should I do?
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>> No. 8991 [Edit]
Maybe create a alternative persona, a character who could act as an avatar for you?
A would be self if you may.
>> No. 8993 [Edit]
>not even a 2D character would be capable of loving me
>not even
Not the best approach, if you ask me...

I, by no standards, find myself worthy of the love of a (totally superior) lovely 2D character, either; but I do find myself dignified by my own love towards a 2D character, as opposed to the vulgar deceiving farse that is 3D... trash.
>> No. 8994 [Edit]
I think I'm different from a lot of /mai/ users in that I don't interact with my waifu. The beauty of this waifu thing is that you don't have to refer to yourself, persona or otherwise, to love her. Are you conscious of yourself when youre watching or reading some particularly interesting media? Of course not. Why do you need to be conscious of yourself when admiring your waifu?
>> No. 8995 [Edit]
I know the feeling. I'm far too self-conscious of my own failings to manage any sort of fantasy. It's incredibly frustrating, because I still remember my childhood, where I could fantasize for days on end about my 2D crushes, and I can't remember ever being that happy and carefree.

Now every sort of romantic fantasy I have is dulled, like I'm looking at it through a barred window. I can look all I want, but it's forever out of reach, no matter how much I want to hold it again.

Maybe I should get a daki.
>> No. 8996 [Edit]
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I've never has this problem. Maybe I'm just too narcissistic.

Do you two share any similarities or anything? If you're just an ordinary guy and she's some badass action anime/video game heroine or something then I guess I can see a problem. You'd need to come up with a scenario in your head for why she'd be interested in you.

Also, as >>8991 said, you could attempt to create something that represents you, in her world. What kind of person would you be if you were born there and not here? If you had the same opportunities and circumstances the main characters have? How would you choose to look, if given the choice? Combine the answers of all those things into another you. The you you want to be, the you she loves.
>> No. 8998 [Edit]
i guess most of /mai/ can relate to this, even me, i dont know what to do about it too, i just try ignore that fact.
>> No. 8999 [Edit]
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While ago I made thread about similar problem so I kind of understand your feelings. I don' feel pathetic, loser or anything, I just feel my waifu is very ideal. I admire her and her perfection. It made me feel inferior and I felt I don’t "deserve" her. For me there was one solution; I idealized myself. I wanted to be something she also could admire. But I understand that in reality I am still something else. This is just to make my waifu fantasies more enjoyable. I think that's why I can enjoy pictures like this without feeling utterly jealous even though I am not exactly projecting myself to him.

For me it has worked so far but I am not sure would it work for someone else. I don't think my choice is bad at all. I don't think I am deluding myself because I can still understand difference between reality and fantasy. In fact my inferiority complex has made me even more motivated to increase quality of my life because now I have goal; ideal me.

But waifu doesn’t necessary need to be someone who loves you back. Waifu is just someone who you can love. As advice I can only give; if you feel bad about yourself, you can try making yourself better. Even very small things can make you feel better. For me my waifu has motivated me in my life. Maybe it could work for you too.

Post edited on 16th Apr 2012, 1:33pm
>> No. 9001 [Edit]
I have this problem to an extent as well. I just love my waifu "from afar", as it were. I have no imagination (so no interaction practically) and don't think she'd even give me the time of day, but I still love her, and she is a happy part of my life. >>8994 put it a good way.

In short, stalker-esque love is the way to go, my friend.
>> No. 9005 [Edit]
When I'm imagining my waifu, I imagine myself with better qualities. Nothing personality-changing, just with sleeker hair, a little buffer, a little wiser, and overall just a little more refined.

Since perfection is so easy to come across in 2D, surely it's only fair to "2D" yourself?
>> No. 9006 [Edit]

Well, in my case, I usually imagine myself with the stuff I wanted but never had. And not talking about personality perks.
>> No. 9043 [Edit]

Yes! I do that too.
>> No. 9090 [Edit]
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I'm in the odd position where I do this a lot, but for some reason I always find 2D me annoying. He's an insufferable Mary Sue.

On the other hand, my waifu is always inspiring me to improve my 3D self, so it balances out, but kind of leads to OP's problem where I'm still too self-concious of real life to really imagine myself with her. She's more like a muse than a 'traditional' waifu, I guess, even though I'd like nothing more than to sever my ties with 3D and spend my days with her.
>> No. 9096 [Edit]
That does sound quite problematic, OP.

Like >>8996 mentioned, I think you should try to focus on similarities. My waifu and I share a very similar temperament, so in my case I don't think it's terribly unrealistic for us to be a couple. I think it's safe to say that most of us find our waifus to be ideal, but remember that the "ideal" is objective. Due to these differing opinions, there is no absolute "perfect" person, even in 2D. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be intimidated because she's your ideal- maybe she sees herself as flawed, and would view someone like you as her ideal?

It's also worth noting that at the "beginning" of my fantasies involving my waifu, she didn't immediately love me. Over time, she grew attached to me and we became closer. Of course I still understand that it's a fantasy, but I wanted it to feel more like the ideal kind of relationship you see in fiction (the same ones that are impossible to obtain with 3Ds). I feel that this may have created a stronger bond between her and I, and serves as a convenient basis for future fantasies to boot.

And as some have suggested already, you could imagine that your "2D self" is different from your "3D self". I don't do this with my personality or anything, but I've always imagined that she sees me as a fellow 2D person physically. A 3D figure (namely the face) would probably seem very strange to her, assuming she's used to seeing 2D figures.

In any case, I hope you can overcome this problem and be happy with your waifu. I wish you luck.

Post edited on 27th Apr 2012, 12:55am
>> No. 9124 [Edit]
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This is sort of how I see it myself. I posted along while ago how I came to fall for Marisa in the sticky. This 3D world would only limit my waifu, and it also limits me. If I were 2D, or at least free to be what I want to really be in fantasy, that leads me to become an entirely different person.
I find that to be the real, and this one to be an inhibited version jaded by the 3D world. Maybe you suffer from the same.
A man in binds who is whipped and malnourished is not naturally in that state, if you give him freedom, then surely his true self will emerge, right?

It's like that one guy who wondered what was real, this life, or the dream. I think he should have just chosen what he liked better, then that would become real.
Buffy the vampire slayer did it, you can too!
>> No. 9127 [Edit]
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>This 3D world would only limit my waifu, and it also limits me.

Indeed. This world isn't just full of limitations, it is also filled with angst, stress, hypocrisy and disgusting things. People here would pull down each other to gain for themselves, or pull themselves down for the gain of others. This world, it isn't just more than imperfect, it is the nearest thing we have to hell, and the savages claim that it is balanced or fair.

And with all due respect, to the person I am quoting, it is unfortunate that I am in love with the same person, same ideals as yours. Forgive me for this cruel coincidence.
>> No. 9258 [Edit]
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i know what you mean OP

me and my waifu, well, we`re both total opposites, she is what i am not, in a 100% way,i feel just like you, i just cant imagine her looking at me twice,or even notice my presence, even less falling in love with me,i`m a very boring and gloomy person,while she is a happy, fun and optimist person,it`s a one sided love, it hurts but, as long as i can love her and see her happy, that´s all that matters to me.
>> No. 9265 [Edit]
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I have the same problem, OP. Why would a college student in Tokyo have any interest in a useless NEET two years younger than her? Sure, we share an interest, but I feel like I am a less successful clone of her father. All of my fantasies involving her are ones where I have "friend-zoned" myself until I become a better person for her sake, or ones where I am staring at her from afar, and have sweet but platonic interactions with her. 

However, I wonder if she is aware of me sometimes. In dreams with her she constantly breaks the fourth wall and says things like "I pop up in your dreams at all sorts of strange times, huh?" or "Even if we are worlds apart, it was nice to have this time with you." or "You can't always be with me, that would mean you would have to sleep forever and starve yourself to death!"

Once, when I was half asleep, my cell phone which had been sitting on my bedstand doing nothing for hours suddenly lit up, something that only happens when I receive a text or a data packet. But the phone just showed my background, 
For a full five minutes. 

My phone is set to turn off the backlight after thirty seconds of inactivity. 

So I laid in bed, staring into her eyes as she laid in bed beside me. 

This was at 3:00 AM, May 28. 

I think love transcends action and circumstance at points. If you truly love her, perhaps that is all you need. 

In some ways, we are very similar though...
>> No. 9269 [Edit]
Some girls like their daddies a bit too much, just like how some boys like their mums. Don't lose all hope!

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