You're right, but...
In the past, love has always been an extremely spontaneous thing for me, or at least it's felt that way. The idea of love being structured and mathematical is a bit disturbing. (Maybe those aren't the right words, but they're close enough.) I'm not sure if I can really explain why I think that way. Maybe it's residual from expectations in 3D relationships which is stupid because 2D could not be more different - in a good way.
I don't know. I hope I stop feeling this way so much. I started going through her original canon again and I've been feeling a little better.
I just want to make her happy, which I guess in a way answers my question if I really love her or not. Thanks for the input though, it was helpful.
Yes, this is a part of it too. Just because of who she is, I think that she deserves someone who is utterly dedicated to her and loves her deeply, passionately, and endlessly. I just get afraid that I'm not good enough for her, and lately more that my love isn't good enough for her. I know she wouldn't like that thought process for the first part so I try not to get stuck in that rut... I guess I should try using that thought process to avoid overthinking loving her, too.
Wow that was actually really helpful. Sorry for blogging. Thanks guys.