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12485 No. 12485 [Edit]
I'm sorry for posting a negative thread, but I have been having some issues and want to know if anybody else has had this problem, and if so, how they overcame it.

I love my waifu. Deeply. There is no question about it. She is perfect to me in every way. But that's the problem. Everything about her, her looks, her voice, her personality, the way she reacts to things, etc, is my ideal. Everything she does is utterly endearing. Nothing about her is annoying to me. She has flaws, but even those are appealing to me even if they annoy others. She is so perfect and I would never change a thing about her.

But it makes me wonder. Do I love my waifu because she fulfills many of the ideals I seek in a romantic partner, and for no other reason? Am I - and by proxy, is my love for her - shallow if this is true? It troubles me. Deep down, I know I love her passionately, but I keep getting nervous when I find no faults in her. It makes me worry when I realize that there are traits I tend to like in fictional characters and she fits every single one of them. I feel stupid for questioning my love for her but she doesn't deserve half-assed or artificial love... she deserves someone who can love her fully and honestly, and I'm afraid sometimes that I'm not, even if I feel like I am about 90% of the time.

Picture is not of my waifu.
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>> No. 12486 [Edit]
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You love her because of everything about who she is, right?
How is that wrong?
>> No. 12487 [Edit]
I think this is popular misunderstanding about love. There is no such thing as "half-assed love", people just cope and manage their feelings in different way. Others need more, others need less. I understand how in the modern civilization competition seems to be the everything, and one might feel "my love is not strong enough" or "I am not loving in right way", but that is not the way one should think. One should find his own way. Love is sliding scale, it is no just black and white scale of "love" and "not-love".

At least myself I feel sometimes I need time to be without her and her affection, and I think she would feel same way (atleast the original content implies it). I think this is the big reason why most relationships between real people fall apart, their needs don't match and other one needs more affection and attention than another one. This shouldn't be problem when having a waifu.
>> No. 12490 [Edit]
>Do I love my waifu because she fulfills many of the ideals I seek in a romantic partner, and for no other reason?
>[is it an] artificial love[?]

Yes. Absolutely. That's how it works. That's why 3Ds pretending they love each other "for what they are" is ridiculous. You're lucky to have a fully fictional and thus more authentic love (as she herself is already acknowledged as artificial). You're on the last remaining right path for love. Rejoice.
>> No. 12497 [Edit]
Sometimes it can be the other way around, you could think she is so perfect that you don't deserve her.
>> No. 12498 [Edit]
You're right, but...

In the past, love has always been an extremely spontaneous thing for me, or at least it's felt that way. The idea of love being structured and mathematical is a bit disturbing. (Maybe those aren't the right words, but they're close enough.) I'm not sure if I can really explain why I think that way. Maybe it's residual from expectations in 3D relationships which is stupid because 2D could not be more different - in a good way.

I don't know. I hope I stop feeling this way so much. I started going through her original canon again and I've been feeling a little better.

I just want to make her happy, which I guess in a way answers my question if I really love her or not. Thanks for the input though, it was helpful.

Yes, this is a part of it too. Just because of who she is, I think that she deserves someone who is utterly dedicated to her and loves her deeply, passionately, and endlessly. I just get afraid that I'm not good enough for her, and lately more that my love isn't good enough for her. I know she wouldn't like that thought process for the first part so I try not to get stuck in that rut... I guess I should try using that thought process to avoid overthinking loving her, too.

Wow that was actually really helpful. Sorry for blogging. Thanks guys.
>> No. 12499 [Edit]
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Years before I met her, I also felt that kind of "love" with no reason behind it. Such a thing fades awfully quickly and just has no... I don't know, substance to it? You are in love with the feeling rather than the person.

Loving somebody deeply and passionately for reasons that you know and are constantly reminded of, that love is far, far more real to me. For as long as she is who she is, your love will never die.
>> No. 12500 [Edit]
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I have often attributed those spontaneous feelings to just having a crush. From what I can tell, such spontaneous feelings also spontaneously end, and usually relatively quickly. If love came in the form of monsters, the ones that are quickly conjured are also the ones quickly defeated. Love at first sight may exist, but it's the gradual growth of honest love that I've always thought of as unstoppable.

Now I've had plenty of crushes in my day, but as far as I can tell, Kirino is the only girl that I've had so many amazing experiences with. She's the only girl I've felt so strongly about over such a long span of time, a feeling that has never grown duller. She's the only girl I've ever honestly kissed out of raw affection and she's the only one that I've thought of in such a pure manner without it being forced. She's just different and my feelings for her were gradual and steady rather than ephemeral and in short bursts.
>> No. 12509 [Edit]
If you're liking her for who she is, then thats good.

If you're liking her just because she ticks off every point in your 'good traits' list, then that isn't good.

Think about it this way: If another character came along which ticked off even more points in your good traits list, would you ditch your current waifu and go for her instead?
>> No. 12510 [Edit]
Miyako (Hidamari Sketch) is my waifu, and I think it says a lot that I much prefer DFC but still love her. It's more her sunny face and wonderful attitude and personality that I fell in love with. But in my eyes she is still perfect, she even pulls off having huge milk tanks for me (minus some of the shitty fanart people make)

Speaking of fanart am I the only one who is insulted when someone makes bad or even mediocre fanart of my waifu?
>> No. 12513 [Edit]

Well, Marisa Kirisame of Touhou Project is my waifu. So far, I am asking myself if I always liked cute blonde girls or I just started liking them because they remind me of Marisa. On the other hand, I always thought her frilly witch clothes were too outrageous and humorously excessive for my tastes. Her tomboyish brawler personality also wasn't my ideal, as I tended to get drawn to Yamato Nadaeshiko characters. Not to mention her ambiguous age and body type, due to the way she was originally drawn. Overall, she matched almost nothing of my ideals on a woman.

That didn't stop me from falling in love with her.
>> No. 12516 [Edit]
Ha, yeah that's kind of what I was afraid of. The good traits that she ticks off are mostly non-physical though and have more to do with her personality and her background and who she Is than her looks, if that means anything.

That said, I was recently thinking about another character that has lots of similar traits to her (some of which are more exaggerated), and looks more typically like my "type". The way I feel about them is... similar but very different. While I want to protect the other girl, that feeling does not compare to the utter warmth and caring I feel when I think about my waifu. Sometimes when I look at pictures of my waifu and am so overwhelmed with how much I love her that I have to cover my face because the feeling is too intense and I'm blushing so hard. I have never felt that way with any other 2D character.

So... I think I'm overthinking this, but it's something for me to be aware of I guess.
>> No. 12521 [Edit]
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>Speaking of fanart am I the only one who is insulted when someone makes bad or even mediocre fanart of my waifu?
Not at all, though the part that bothers me the most is when I'm checking pixiv and there's some awfully drawn lewd with like 50 stars next to some wonderful artwork that nobody has even really looked at.
>> No. 12524 [Edit]
>though the part that bothers me the most is when I'm checking pixiv and there's some awfully drawn lewd

I have avoided looking her up on any of those kinds of websites because of that.
>> No. 12525 [Edit]
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It's not great.
I can respect tastefully done lewd stuff, though.

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