/so/ - Ronery
NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!

[Return] [Entire Thread] [Last 50 posts]
Posting mode: Reply
Subject   (reply to 9598)
BB Code
File URL
Embed   Help
Password  (for post and file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: None
  • Maximum file size allowed is 7000 KB.
  • Images greater than 260x260 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Currently unique user posts.
  • board catalog

File 133428255194.jpg - (352.79KB , 500x1550 , DQ_yukkuri.jpg )
9598 No. 9598 [Edit]
I don't understand how people can call each other "friends" while maintaining so much distance from each other.

Whenever I had tried to become friends with someone, I felt an unbearable resentment for them at the same time.
They didn't seem to care about me as much.
If I showed interest in their hobbies, they wouldn't do the same for me.
Even though I looked out for them, they wouldn't reciprocate.
Eventually, all the small things added up and I started just outright gave all my "friends" the cold shoulder...
I think it's impossible for me to make friends, because I get too involved. I just end up getting hurt when I find out they don't really give two shits about me.
Does anybody else feel the same way?
Expand all images
>> No. 9599 [Edit]
Your image is killing me.

Did you live in a small or homogeneous community? I can imagine that making friends with similar interests in that kind of environment is impossible.
>> No. 9600 [Edit]
Friends are the people you can use. Its like toys you can play with (you don't consider toy's feelings or interests do you?) or dakimakura you can cry to or hug (you don't consider dakimakura's feelings or interests do you?), etc, etc. You can even extract money or favors from them. Cool stuff!

Everyone live their lives like that. Romantic friendship is fantasy fiction.
>> No. 9601 [Edit]
I know how Alice feels. That Yukkuri could've at least let Alice pretend to be a Slime Knight for a short while.

Anyway, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act towards "friends" or people who actually want to be friends.

Having a friendship like Gon and Killua's is something that can only happen in fantasy.
>> No. 9602 [Edit]
That's a horrible, backwards way to think, and I honestly pity you if you think that way.

Friends are people who temporarily walk the same path as you. Simple as that. When your paths diverge, then it's time to let go. I've had friends that I've had to leave behind because of that, and, yeah, it was hard, but it's a basic event in every human's life at one point or another. If somebody doesn't care about you, that's not a friend - You can call them an acquaintance if you're an optimist.
>> No. 9603 [Edit]
Seems like it was trying to.
>> No. 9604 [Edit]
I would always feel like I let my friends down (when I had them) because I never wanted to do anything with them. Now all I have is online acquaintances, if you can even call them that
>> No. 9605 [Edit]
>That's a horrible, backwards way to think
Very funny, because you're saying the very same thing as I. You can love your toy and enjoy the time together, but when it breaks thus becoming useless, nothing to do but throw it away ("let go" as you hypocritically paraphrased). Sure, this is hard then your favorite toy can't serve you as before (insert obligatory parting scene with manly tears here).

While target is useful you use it (reciprocally). No longer useful? Bye friend, time to find another. Point is, no one is bending his wishes for another:
> If I showed interest in their hobbies, they wouldn't do the same for me.
> Even though I looked out for them, they wouldn't reciprocate.
See? You must have something in common initially, and will be friends only while it lasts.
>> No. 9606 [Edit]
I feel like of my small circle of online friends I have one friend I can open up to and the others I can just talk to where I feel so weird anytime I talk to them about anything personal even though they're also socially awkward, just not the level me and my one "true" friend is. They never make me feel shitty about it but it does make me feel really odd when they talk about things like how much they hated pe in highschool because of changing in front of others, which at my school I never had to do. Meeanwhile I'm talking about how much I hated PE because I had a constant fear of failure that would make the other kids look down on me since I was the fat, socially awkward kid and always have been.

They very rarely treat me in any negative way but they can't relate to me most of the time it seems. Its probably for the best that instead of opening up to them I just carry on with light conversation from time to time since they can't relate to me.

That is with my current circle of friends though, other times I've tried having friends, usually ones in the real world I feel the same as you OP.
>> No. 9607 [Edit]
Alright then, that's fair. I can accept that. I just feel it's not right to call people you consider your friends, "toys". I can't see that as okay, but I know it won't change anything either way.

It just makes me sad, though, is all (the fact that I can't even escape this cycle of "using people" if I try, that is).
>> No. 9608 [Edit]
I'm kind of the opposite. I don't involve myself or initiate things with people unless I've been drinking, which is why I prefer to drink alone. If people come to me with social invitations and I can't immediately think up a good excuse to avoid it, then I end up going out of a sense of obligation. I don't think I'm really capable of having actual relationships with people.
>> No. 9610 [Edit]

I'm like this guy. I can't associate with anyone unless I'm drinking.
>> No. 9611 [Edit]
I think its quite the contrary. Alcohol removes the mask of pretend and reveals true self of people, therefore you are fine with relations and just consciously refuse it for whatever reason, like getting wrong ideas by falling under the bad influences or being abused and making stuff in you head... etc. In short, its matter of personal 'religion', superficial stuff that can be fixed given the will to do so.

As for myself, I'm not running from anything and not particularly hate involving with people. I'm just passive with zero creativity so I can't and don't want to initiate anything myself or even approach anyone. in fact, its pretty bad stress and discomfort if I try to do it regardless This active/creative/draw to people hardware stuff isn't exist in my brain at all, so without external force (like school or work, where people are together just because) people naturally disappear from me. Of course being alone is depressing as hell, nothing to joke about, but to actively make advances is like trying to run with broken legs, perfect way to multiply your suffering and speed up physical collapse.
>> No. 9612 [Edit]
File 133435467434.jpg - (29.81KB , 256x525 , bottle fairy.jpg )

Alcohol brings out the worst from people (me included). Inhibitions aren't a bad thing; careless/too-relaxed/stupid behaviour is. Drinking and being drunk is only appealing in fiction; in 3D, is just degrading and shameful.
>> No. 9613 [Edit]
Not to mention alcohol flat out sticks, I hate having that stuff around, smells worse than fresh urine, and it seems as if most heavy drinkers are really nasty people in general.

I also really hate how people use being drunk as an excuse for acting like jackasses, as if getting hammer frees them from any accountability for their own actions.
'shit, sorry man, I was really drunk last night'
Who's fucking fault is it that you got drunk you fucking stupid asshole.
Fuck, I have to live with a peace of shit bastard that has no money but would rather buy beer and lotto tickets than his own food.
Beer is nothing but a legal drug, and alcoholics are no better than drug addicts in my mind.
but at least drug addicts can be calm and mellow depending on their drug, as opposed to loud, obnoxious, violent and clumsy retards, like people when they drink.

Post edited on 13th Apr 2012, 3:52pm
>> No. 9614 [Edit]
File 133436223340.jpg - (80.98KB , 669x895 , slime.jpg )
Yes, my school had probably 50 people in total. I guess that might explain why.

I feel too autistic to relate to people, even though I really try to. It's frustrating.
I think I'd rather give up on making friends and try to take it easy.
But even lately, taking it easy is difficult...

To be honest, picking up drinking sounds like a good idea. The only reason I haven't is because I'm taking medication. I'd rather not end up in the hospital.
Then I DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to take it easy.
>> No. 9615 [Edit]
It's subjective to some degree, but the main gist of it is that 1/3 feels a positive effect from drinking alcohol, a second third feels a bad effect and the last group feels indifferent from drinking alcohol, give or take. Alcohol is poison either way, and a massive social problem wherever you can buy it.
>> No. 9616 [Edit]
>I feel too autistic
That statement doesn't make much sense. If you're too autistic to engage in normal social behavior, you'd be very clear that it's everyone else's fault.


For me, I've experienced that having friends is nice when there's a well defined "playground". If you prefere staying home then I don't see the point, unless you actually need friends by personality. What bothers me is how different it is to befriend someone and maintain friendships as you grow.

Generally speaking, it's quite simple actually: some needs lots of friends, some needs a few friends and others don't need friends at all. What it means to be friends is a philosophical problem - as it doesn't have an objective answer.
>> No. 9619 [Edit]
>Friends are people who temporarily walk the same path as you. Simple as that. When your paths diverge, then it's time to let go.
Your point is a good one, although I feel as though it is something that is slowly losing validity. Everyone is so interconnected now with the internet that it is verging on the impossible severing ties with someone without committing social taboo for everyone to see. Hell, even gradual erosion of relationships due to lack of contact is fast becoming impossible since people you barely speak to are always a background presence on social networks and the like. My mother recently mentioned to me how she got in contact with friends she has not seen in 30 years over Facebook. I'll leave it up to you to determine whether this is a good or bad thing.
>> No. 9624 [Edit]
I'll do any drug but I hate alcohol and anything similar to it. It just makes me feel like shit. And whats up with people being in a good mood on it? The only thing I get is horribly depressed and angry. Stims for life, whenever I think of alcohol I think of my fat, stupid family of drunks and instantly want to vomit. From them comes my belief that alcohol makes you stupider than any other drug. I may be pretty stupid and brain dead myself because of how often I do them anyways but at least I can still think and be myself. Alcohol just seems to cloud your head.
>> No. 9628 [Edit]
>It just makes me feel like shit.

This applies to every "social" drug for me, not just alcohol.
>> No. 9629 [Edit]
Also there really isn't any drugs I would call social overall. I mean you don't need to do them with people around to enjoy them.

Post edited on 16th Apr 2012, 5:58pm
>> No. 9638 [Edit]
My family is not full of fat drunks so I don't have that stigma/experience. Honestly alcohol makes you more talkative, or more accurately it gives you an excuse to be more talkative and honest (it didnt make me stupid or takw away all inhibitions in my case)

It's EASIER to get drunk while socializing, as it takes your mind away from the yucky taste of some 'strong' alcohol. Of course you can drink 'weaker' shit for longer periods of time to get drunk if you're suspectible to that or dilute the vodka or polish spirit with tea or skittles etc etc.
>> No. 9639 [Edit]
Latvian dude I know off skype/anonops irc said the same, that he doesnt know what love is or what friendship is. But he mentions his best friend helping him when he was poor as shit and homeless, and his neighbor's grandmother taking care of him when he was younger - and how he has a 3DPD and took her with him to China....... which seems to contradict what ht said.
>> No. 9641 [Edit]
How many of you have a facebook?

Normals have asked if I have one, of course I reply with a no.

Just wondering because I don't act so socially awkward when working and such, so long as I limit my interactions with work related things. I can't help but feel like they assume I'm a friendless loser when asked that.(More like discover I'm a loser)

One of the few questions I really hate being asked especially if a group of people is around.
>> No. 9642 [Edit]
If I do have a shitbookpage, it's only because some malicious asshole made one for me. I don't believe anyone like that knows me or remembers me, though, so that is not the case.
>> No. 9643 [Edit]
I don't have one and I reply with the same thing.

I don't give a shit what other people think. Unless it has an impact on me in some way, I don't care about it.

I'm glad I don't have to waste time talking to people for no reason any more.
>> No. 9644 [Edit]
nobody here i hope
>> No. 9646 [Edit]
No. It's shit.
>> No. 9647 [Edit]

I don't think I'll ever get a facebook, when people ask why I don't get one I usually just say I keep up with all of my friends on things like skype since I don't want people I don't care about randomly adding me. Which is the main reason I don't have one. It'd just be "friends" and by "friends" I mean the "We used to treat you like shit in school but we were just kids" where we were just kids doesn't fucking cut it, fuck them. Or family adding me when I don't care about many people in my family outside of immediate, just because we share some common ancestors doesn't make me have to deal with you. That and all the people I would add that might have a shitbookI talk to on skype would be from all over the place.

I do log in to my dads shitbooksometimes since he uses my and my brothers names as a password for just about everything and read things out of curiosity and it makes me realize how retarded people are.

The only "social network" thing I use is Twitter and I use it to follow "internet famous" people/people who post interesting things and very rarely post things on it myself.

Post edited on 19th Apr 2012, 4:05pm
>> No. 9648 [Edit]
I also have a twitter account that I only use to follow other people. The only one I really care about anymore is DadBoner, though.
As for facebook, of course not.
>> No. 9649 [Edit]
I used to have a shitbook account for a small period of time last year for talking to a couple people at school but eventually I stopped talking to them and we never even saw each other outside of it, so I just deleted it soon after school ended. I don't have an account at any major social networking place besides Youtube (well guess I can't really call that a social networking site since it's mainly focused on videos). shitbookreally does give you a glimpse at how stupid most people really are. Even if you are just the most useless scum of the earth much like myself and feel like there's nothing dumber than you, just go to shitbookand who'll feel better about yourself in less than a minute.
>> No. 9658 [Edit]
>They didn't seem to care about me as much.
This is by far the thing I hate the most. When you become friends with somebody, and they already have friends, it's clear you'll never be their 'true' friend. This is the reason I hate schools, forums, IRC, tripcode users or really anything that gives off that feeling of an already established 'community' and relationships. I truly love anonymity.

In all my life, I've had maybe two friends to whom I was the 'true' friend. It's a wonderful feeling, but it never lasts. Sooner or later, they meet other people. People they have more in common with. Or maybe their parents drag them away to another country. Eventually I was left with nothing but a large group of 'acquaintances' (people I barely knew, who I had very little in common with, but they liked me anyway because I was good at adjusting to others). The few who played video games or watched anime, as I did, didn't do so to the extent that I did. That is to say they did so very rarely and only ever scratched the surface of the medium. Any time I would try to get them more involved in either, they'd 'forget' about it or 'give up'. To this day I have not a Haruhidamn clue what else they were doing in their time that was important to them.

I feel so alone in this tiny, shitty country.
>> No. 9659 [Edit]
To be honest now that I think about it I never had any one I could have considered a true friend at all besides online. No one I hung out with at any point ever wanted much to do with me and it always felt like to me that I was just a pest to them. I no longer have a chance of meeting anyone new that can be a true friend at this point in my life anyways. Well to those that even bothered being around my pathetic ass for any amount of time, I thank you even though it never did much for either of us.
>> No. 9668 [Edit]
Just call it faecebook
>> No. 9693 [Edit]
I get jealous when I see my friends talking to other people, too. It's a bad habit of mine.
>> No. 9788 [Edit]
I have trouble making friends period.

It's just been too long since I did so. I'm graduating university in 2 weeks and I haven't actually made one friend throughout the entire 5 years I was there. I really only had one real life friend and he moved, so I've basically been alone for years now. I often wish I just knew some people in real life that shared my interests, oh well.
>> No. 9789 [Edit]
>When you become friends with somebody, and they already have friends, it's clear you'll never be their 'true' friend.
I think this is why college at the beginning was so awesome, was that nobody had any friends at the beginning.
And then we all slowly went our separate ways. Now I have no friends.
>> No. 13077 [Edit]
Gon & Killua's friendship is pretty homo, actually.
>> No. 13078 [Edit]
It's not, but even if it was there is nothing wrong with that. They have a very strong friendship that not many people will ever experience in this world because most real life people are shit.

Gon and Killua could be considered brothers despite not even sharing a single drop of blood.
>> No. 13082 [Edit]
>I'm graduating university in 2 weeks and I haven't actually made one friend throughout the entire 5 years I was there.
Were you not in student housing freshman year?

But yeah, this is what happened to me too.

People actually talk to their siblings?
>> No. 13111 [Edit]
Alice is a terrible friend. She thinks Marisa looks like a slime and now wants to become a slime knight, so she hops on top of her friend without saying a word. Marisa is probably confused, but bears with it until she gets tired. Being the yukkuri she is she simply states the truth: Alice is too heavy for her. So Alice, Marisa's "friend", kicks her away.

Alice is terrible. Absolutely terrible.
>> No. 13112 [Edit]
But that's not Marisa. Just be glad Alice didn't torture it like other yukuris.
>> No. 13253 [Edit]
some do, but apparently people get along BETTER with their cousins as said cousins aren't in their houses all the time..

'blood brotherhood''is something used a bit
>> No. 13273 [Edit]
File 136204305773.png - (733.08KB , 500x500 , 33011043.png )
I do.
I have very few people in my life and so it always ends up with me thinking they are more important to me than I am to them, and that is not a nice way to feel. So I'd rather disassociate myself from them completely.
Paranoia over the smallest things doesn't help, either.
If somebody hasn't started a conversation with me for more than a week, I cut myself off from them. Unless, of course, they've been gone or something. I can't take "shyness" as an excuse, because I don't understand how shyness even works over the net, at least when it's just text, no voices or faces involved.
If they have many friends already I can never bring myself to attempt to start a friendship with them, because I just don't believe it could ever be meaningful.
People who type without punctuation/capitalization and all that bother me too much for me to stay friends with them, too. It always feels like they're shrugging me off, like I'm not worth the effort of typing right.
I also have an awful habit of making sudden outbursts of offensive/harsh things to people I haven't enjoyed talking with lately. It's a mix of instability/irritability and trying to spice things up, I guess. It never ends well, and I could probably help it if I really liked them, but... I haven't had a friend I've liked that much for as long as I can remember.
>> No. 13314 [Edit]
I had a few friends in high school.

Even after spending a lot of time with them outside of school there was always a sense of uneasiness. It was like they were constantly judging whether I was cool enough for them, and if I slipped up just once they'd cut ties with me. Eventually I had an off day and I couldn't bring myself to be fun and talkative. I spent an hour or two quietly sitting with the group before faking a phone call and leaving. They never talked to me again.

I knew that it was all over from the time they asked "why are you being so quiet, anon?"
>> No. 13316 [Edit]
I had/have same feelings as you OP but it all pretty much comes to this
>Friends are people who temporarily walk the same path as you. Simple as that. When your paths diverge, then it's time to let go.

I hardly had good friends through my childhood and adolescence. Maybe one or two, others were all acquaintances. But somehow, few years ago at the last year of high school, I met few people who I really had good time with. Back then I finally stopped feeling alone, I met with them all the time (not to mention most of us were in the same class together back in the last year of high school).
That graduation year, even though I was experiencing stress because of which university I am going to get in, I had a really great summer. So much nice memories, even though now they are probably coated with nostalgia so they appear even more great.
And then came the start of first year of uni, and we all split up. I went studying abroad (not a big thing here since I live in a small country) and it all started to change. I was alone again, but then I had some optimism left in me and tried to make some new friendships. It never actually worked out. I even had shitbookback then, for the purpose of "keeping in touch". Bullshit. It may have worked like that early on, but later I just became obsessed with checking their profiles, watching them meet new friends and moving on in life- which just made me feel even worse since I wasn't progressing at all- neither in studies or social life. Then I decided to delete shitbook and focus on my studies. Sadly, I never met a good company like them. I would see them during breaks and sometimes I would chat with some, but it was never like it used to be before.

Yeah I also believed in the friendship you see in manga..fantasy in general. But as stated already in this thread, it doesn't exist. If it does it's very very rare.

So yeah, maybe it would have been better if I hadn't met or involved with them at all, and continued being what I was, because after that whole pretty illusion was over, I felt worse than ever before.
And yeah now I am pretty much like you OP
>I think it's impossible for me to make friends, because I get too involved.
>> No. 13318 [Edit]
I can easily make friends as I'm so open that I'll pretty much talk to anyone as long as I like you but I never have anything talk about and someone else always has to take the first step. A friendship with me is more like having a human pet. I'll do anything with you as long as I don't have strong objections to it, I'll always listen to you even if I don't have anything to say, and you're never annoying me if I like you enough to call you my friend. I feel the same way, I will end up getting very involved because I'm so clingy and in the end I don't really get hurt but I feel like I'm hurting the other person.

I live in a very small community, I'll never find anyone I really like in this nearly abandoned shithole outside of high school and even when I was in school there wasn't anyone I really liked at all. No one comes here, everyone eventually leaves, and the people that stay are just older people I don't want to be around because they piss me off.

I actually get along with a couple of my cousins. They can be fun to be around sometimes.
>> No. 13319 [Edit]
After many years of friends whom I thought were close coming and going, I think I've become rather possessive of the people I now call my friends. Because of this, I think I'm more of a boss than a friend to them, someone they can depend on similar to a friend, but not a friend in general. I do care about them though, a whole lot, in fact I base my entire future on my friends, but I don't think they feel the same way. When one of them is emotionally hurt, or experiencing pain, I come to the rescue asap because I am obligated to, because I can't stand to see them like that. I just feel like the same wouldn't be done if I were in the predicament. My friends and I currently have a really close bond, so I'm probably overthinking it, but living every day expecting to have a giant fall out and just preparing yourself to be alone is painful.
>> No. 13765 [Edit]
Same shit is happening to me. I always heard that if you want to "connect" with people, you should listen to them and help them. And I did that, but hardly anyone ever cared back.
Not to mention even though I was the one trying to start conversations, asking people about themselves, sometimes talking about myself, I was called "quiet one" "withdrawn" etc.

What the fuck, I just don't understand.
>> No. 13766 [Edit]
Just the same with me. Though I wouldn't call myself "open", not IRL at least.

board catalog

Delete post []
Report post

[Home] [Manage]

- Tohno-chan took 0.49 seconds to load -

[ an / ma / mai / ns ] [ foe / vg / vn ] [ cr / fig / mp3 / mt / ot / pic / so / fb ] [ arc / ddl / irc ] [ home ]