I had/have same feelings as you OP but it all pretty much comes to this
>Friends are people who temporarily walk the same path as you. Simple as that. When your paths diverge, then it's time to let go.
I hardly had good friends through my childhood and adolescence. Maybe one or two, others were all acquaintances. But somehow, few years ago at the last year of high school, I met few people who I really had good time with. Back then I finally stopped feeling alone, I met with them all the time (not to mention most of us were in the same class together back in the last year of high school).
That graduation year, even though I was experiencing stress because of which university I am going to get in, I had a really great summer. So much nice memories, even though now they are probably coated with nostalgia so they appear even more great.
And then came the start of first year of uni, and we all split up. I went studying abroad (not a big thing here since I live in a small country) and it all started to change. I was alone again, but then I had some optimism left in me and tried to make some new friendships. It never actually worked out. I even had shitbookback then, for the purpose of "keeping in touch". Bullshit. It may have worked like that early on, but later I just became obsessed with checking their profiles, watching them meet new friends and moving on in life- which just made me feel even worse since I wasn't progressing at all- neither in studies or social life. Then I decided to delete shitbook and focus on my studies. Sadly, I never met a good company like them. I would see them during breaks and sometimes I would chat with some, but it was never like it used to be before.
Yeah I also believed in the friendship you see in manga..fantasy in general. But as stated already in this thread, it doesn't exist. If it does it's very very rare.
So yeah, maybe it would have been better if I hadn't met or involved with them at all, and continued being what I was, because after that whole pretty illusion was over, I felt worse than ever before.
And yeah now I am pretty much like you OP
>I think it's impossible for me to make friends, because I get too involved.