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9566 No. 9566 [Edit]
Do you ever think what your future will be like /so/? Will you have accomplished the milestones other people have achieved, will you be able to function normally in society and have a job, and not be perceived as a weirdo or creep? or even do basic things like go to a supermarket without freaking out and only doing shopping at 3 am at gas stations.

I don't want to be that creepy old guy. What about you?
>> No. 9567 [Edit]
I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that it's going to be bad.

I'm probably already seen as a creepy retard, so there's no way to avoid that.

I can't even go to the store without getting too nervous and sweating like a pig. I can hide my irrational fear of other people and my dislike of huge crowds of people, but I can't get over the heat that comes out of that nervousness.

I can't do anything alone, so I'm pretty much useless in every single way. There is no good future for me.
>> No. 9568 [Edit]
I won't be alone because I have you guys.

Though I don't tend to think about things other people would find accomplishments because I know that it's not something that I can do. Though unless something happens it'll become increasingly harder to start to function normally in society unless I do something about it now - but the general attitude towards that is 'I'll do it tomorrow'.
>> No. 9569 [Edit]
I'll probably be okay career-wise, but always be seen as 'that weirdo'. If I'm lucky, i'll just be a weirdo instead of 'that psycho'. All in all, a depressinsly average future for all the drama and angst I've experienced in my younger years- almost an anti-climax.
>> No. 9570 [Edit]
Life has its ups and downs. I'll get my Bachelor's degree in something in two years, my Master's in a few more, and then see whether I should pursue the life of a career student, become a teacher, or find some other job. I will never be normal, but at least I could possibly be happy.
>> No. 9573 [Edit]
Hopefully I'll be dead
>> No. 9574 [Edit]
I'll probably be in an assisted-living facility after my parents die. They kind of want me to be in one now . . .
>> No. 9581 [Edit]
Unless going back to university teaches me that there are many great people, I don't think much will change except for that I may have a degree/job.

Oh well, I suppose alcohol will keep me happy until I can't form a single coherent sentence any more/I die from alcohol poisoning.
>> No. 9880 [Edit]
I can't see a future for myself. I never have been able to see a future. I don't even really want to think about it, because I know that one day my parents will die and then I will be truly fucked. It's my biggest fear. But it's going to happen isn't it? One day, doom will arrive. All this sitting in on my computer as a hiki is just the calm before the storm. Every second that ticks by, I become less prepared for this doomsday.

I should have prepared myself for it. That's what normal people do. That's what they spend their whole lives doing. They get a job so they are financial dependent from parents. They get a girlfreind/wife for company so that when their parents die, there will still be someone to look after them. They have children so there will be someone to care for them when they are old. They have friends to care for them when they are ill. That's what the normal persons life is all about. Preparing for their parents death. And when the normal persons parents die, it doesn't hit them so hard because they no longer live with them and are not dependent on them.

But then I think about my future, what should I do? I don't know. I can't think of a future for myself. I don't know who I am or what I want to be or what I should be. Maybe I am secretly hoping that I will die before my parents. Or just sat waiting for a miracle.

I hate thinking about the future, the future is so bleak. Just getting old, ill health and pain.

So I refuse to think about the future too much. Instead I go on the computer and surf the internet to numb the pain. I use the internet in the same way that a drug addict uses drugs or an alcoholic uses alcohol. To escape. But escaping doesn't solve my future problems. But facing up to future problems is scarey and anxiety inducing. I spend the majority of my time avoiding the anxiety. Which probably only serves to store up a huge debt of problems and makes things worse.
>> No. 9888 [Edit]
I don't really know what to say to this, at least you still have this place or wherever else you go to online. You guys are great I mean it, just makes me happy that this place exists to cry on each others shoulders and support each other. I know how much it must hurt. Wish there something I could do to help that actually matters.
>> No. 9889 [Edit]
yep, this is me

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