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8860 No. 8860 [Edit]
Does anyone else here not feel in control of their life?
I don't believe in haruhi, but it feels like I'm being forced to experience everything that I do.
like I'm running through a maze blindfolded.
I can't see where the path leads, or the walls that lead me there.
all I can do is move forward until I hit a wall, then keep changing my direccion until I stop hitting walls and go down the path I'm meant to.
but if I stop moving, they push me along the path.
This world feels so fake, I don't care about what goes on around me anymore, becuase it as if everything is scripted, and it doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore.
I doubt there's any escape.
They control everything and everyone around me.
I doubt they'd even allow me to kill myself if I tried.
I can't stand this life, I can't run or hide, they wont leave me be.
I'm so, very tired...
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>> No. 8861 [Edit]
I sort of feel the same, to be honest.

I really don't know what it is that I'm supposed to do, but I'd just like to do it and die already.
>> No. 8862 [Edit]
nobody is in control of their life; everything was preordained from the beginning of our universe. its called determinism.
>> No. 8864 [Edit]
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But assuming the universe being a deterministic system (or even science's logical-mathematical laws and structures being real) is outdated for about 50-100 years already: it's either indemostrable or plain false...

However, according with Schopenhauer (and if I remember well), we can never be truly free anyway because, even if we could ultimately do whatever we want (wich we can't, of course: we aren't Haruhis), we can't ultimately want whatever we want... i.e. that many (if not each and everyone) of the actions that we consider a product of our own individual will/volition, might very well be a product of necessity: something we really do just to survive the outside's pressures, in a world wich extension exceeds our individual lives and framings (both in space and time), thus rendering our acts as inauthentic choices...

Nevertheless, according with (the 1st) Wittgenstein, true free actions (as the ground for ethical choices) can exist but only in the -(inner) eternity of the- present moment, as a rejection of pragmatism: they must be actions that get satisfied just by the very act of performing them, without expecting any adittional reward, avoidance of punishment or anyother form of further outcome from them (wich, incidentally, renders religious ethics as fallacious)...

The problem is: can we ever really live only for the moment?
Even further: do we even really know ourselves (i.e. where one ends and the otherness begins)?
Left for your consideration.

TL;DR Likely, no one can possibly be free in the world. But if a man can be true to himself (whoever that's suposed to be), then he can be free in his heart... Srsly.

Post edited on 10th Feb 2012, 4:51am
>> No. 8865 [Edit]
your life is governed by corporations and the government (which itself is controlled by the corporations).
>> No. 8866 [Edit]
I feel that I'm not in control, because I can't summon the energy to do anything with my time. I've lost the will to carry on and the sloth has carried itself into my hobbies. I'm too lazy to watch anime sometimes, because it involves reading subtitles. Or I would launch a video game and then think to myself "nah..." and turn it off. Such cases.

At this point I feel like I'm paralysed and drifting into a void where nothing exists. I feel exhausted every day, even though I'm idle the whole time.
>> No. 8867 [Edit]
I used to feel like that, but lately I've been feeling like I'm in complete control of my life.
Recently I've cut masturbating to once or twice a week to prove I can, tomorrow I'm going to stop eating to prove I can.
It really feels great. Try setting a small goal to accomplish and then go out and do it, slowly you'll start to feel in control of your life.
>> No. 8868 [Edit]
I used to feel like that, until I realized I can end my life whenever I choose.
>> No. 8870 [Edit]
You basically just described my life better than I could.

I've been feeling a bit more in control lately though, or rather, a bit more comfortable with not being in control. Mainly through things like >>8867
>> No. 8871 [Edit]
I feel exactly that way too OP. My life is miserable, lonely, and a complete broken beyond repair train wreck. I have no real control over it beyond simple decisions, it's like a story with many different paths to take but they all lead to single personal ending no matter what, some just longer or harder than others. Ever since I was a very small child I knew it was going to be this way, I don't know how but I did. But for some reason everything fits into place perfectly like this was just my fate. I can't imagine myself any other way. It was all a complete set up from the beginning and now I have to keep playing this sick game that has been set up for me till the end.
>> No. 8872 [Edit]
Me too, I think I'll soon somehow manage to bring myself to watch the few shows on my list but after that I'm not even paying attention to anime or games anymore. The only thing I do is collect my favorite music albums when I have the money to but after that collection is complete, and locked away somewhere safe as a final thing I'll leave behind, I'll really have nothing more to live for. Then continuing down my path of nothingness till I reach whatever my fate is.
>> No. 8906 [Edit]
I forget where i read it, but someone said life could be calculated down to an exact moment in the future if we could pause time and obtain all the information of the moment. They used a waterfall as an example, although I found that a poor analogy to be honest.
>> No. 8907 [Edit]
I'm the opposite. I feel in entire control of my reality.

I just that I'm really confused about what I want.
>> No. 8908 [Edit]
Not sure what your trying to say there, can you explain a little more?
>> No. 8909 [Edit]
You guys are sure overthinking stuff...seeing how long the average post here is.

Stop thinking, keep away insanity.
Well, atleast for me it is the easiest task to do.
Don't be reflective at all and just live into the days like it is the most normal thing to do.

I guess i have always been apathetic and as a teenager i have realized that i am a loser, who will always be inferior to other people.

This way i have become a defeatist and it is one of the main reasons why i am still sane.

Accept your fate
Your fate is within a range pretty much predetermined anyways.
You don't have control besides a few options.
>> No. 8911 [Edit]
Probably means that with enough time to study the waterfall, you can trace the trajectory of every water drop and predict how it will strike the bottom based off it's size and speed, and by doing the same with the surrounding water drops, you could in theory predict how they're going to interact with each other.
Kind of like what professionals try to do when playing billiards.
If I understand that anon correctly that is.
>> No. 8912 [Edit]
I wasn't really taking about fate, more like people controlling the world around me for who the fuck knows what reason.
I can feel them watching me constantly.
I'm sure they're watching me type this.
I don't know if it's possible to fight them, but I don't think I should try.
I don't even think I care anymore.
They know what they're doing, I guess all I can do is sit back and let them guide me, and show me what they want me to do next.

I wonder if they can read my thoughts...
Oh Haruhi, I don't want to be a tinfoil hat wearing nutjob.
What do they want from me?!
>> No. 8913 [Edit]
>Don't be reflective at all
>You don't have control besides a few options
What are we? Dogs? Don't give me that garbage when there have been plenty of people that have completely turned their lives around or completely ruined them. Quit trying to blame destiny or whatever for your own choices in life that lead you to be where you are today. You aren't an illiterate, uneducated Untouchable. We have no one to blame for where we've ended up in life other than ourselves.
>> No. 8915 [Edit]
Congratulations, you're insane.
>> No. 8916 [Edit]
With every passing year I believe that more and more. I have this artificial free will and my life is being played like a pawn in some game by something else. I was meant to be where I am now and it was predetermined by something. No one knows what that something is but I refuse to believe destiny doesn't exist.
>> No. 8920 [Edit]
I think theyre talking about something like this

>there have been plenty of people that have completely turned their lives around or completely ruined them. Quit trying to blame destiny or whatever for your own choices in life that lead you to be where you are today.
and what do you think drove you to make those choices? your genes and environment. everyone who ruined their life or turned it around did so because of those forces.

Post edited on 15th Feb 2012, 8:56pm
>> No. 8923 [Edit]
It was from "Human, All Too Human".
I read that a long time ago, didn't think I'd remember it until you filled in those blanks with words.
>> No. 8924 [Edit]
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I blame my genetics.

I am a NEET and it is the best live i can get from my options.

I am not opted to do low paid menial jobs.
If you have the potential to make something great out of you, or rather you believe you have it, then do so.
For me it is clear, that i am a born failure.
Whether i fail hard or a bit less, it makes no difference.
Stop assuming shit about other people you don't know.

If i have ever had any talents or likings to anything, then i would have surely sticked to them and tried to develop them.

I have no regrets how i have lead my life, even when i am nothing but a burden for my mother.
>> No. 8925 [Edit]
If it were that easy and built from just an internal belief, I'd be ruling a country by now.
>> No. 8934 [Edit]
Ehm, that's what i am saying?

That it takes much more than just belief in order to be successful and that some people simply don't have what it takes.

Anyways, personally, i got actually lucky with the circumstances, which is why i am rather contempt with my life, due to me being born in a First World country and having a mother lets me leech.
But personally i am failure, and not only because i believe so.

Anyways, we are drifting away from OP's topic.
>> No. 8942 [Edit]
You're not alone here, I'm also a born failure. Don't know how that is, I just am what I am. I was when I was little and still am now. At least when I was younger I had hope that it would get better when I got to high school but I remained the same. The only thing that ever changed was my body and my personality. It's almost like there is these mental blocks that can't be overcome. Don't tell me if I tried I could get over it because after all these years I've proven to myself that isn't possible. I don't know where to go next in life, I'm stuck, I'm going to die soon. What else can I say? I'm a stupid, useless, depressed, loser that will never be able to completely survive on his own. It has always been this way and always will. As I get older, still am where I always been, and the same person I always will be. I watch year after year everyone I known getting more and more unfamiliar and many new kids on the streets that now go to the exact same high school I went to whose lives I will never be known by. In a way I have become completely abandoned, I feel like a ghost watching over this place I lived and it just gets too sad to even look at sometimes. I'll never know human love and affection. The only thing that is left to do now in my life is look every single one of it's dreams shattered in a million pieces on the ground.
>> No. 9197 [Edit]
I feel the same way. I lost contact with most of my friends partway through college and I am too ashamed to reconnect with them because of my inability to get anywhere.
>> No. 9202 [Edit]
If I ever see anyone I knew in Highschool out I just say hi and if they want to talk anymore then they can but I never have much to say and nothing goes anywhere. I really am forever alone. I semi cope with it by talking to and cuddling with people that don't exist.

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