>How do you deal with everyday solitude?
browse imageboards all day every day

I just enjoy the everyday solitude

There is actually one person I know that I can talk to, enough to call her a friend at least. She doesn't seem to be bothered by me like most other people but I hardly ever see her. Other than that I have no more connections left. I'm open to letting someone into my life I can really love but I know I'll never find anyone else now.

My first real friend ever is moving a city away to live with his sister. He's been a NEET for a good three years now and is having housing troubles with his dad.

We've been friends for nearly a decade actually, it's crazy.

You can find online friends too OP. I've played lots of MMO's, browsed forums, and just general internet stuff but I was always alone. It's hard to explain, but I though tit was just impossible to connect with someone across the internet. When doing group stuff in games like runescape, WoW, or everquest, it felt like I was playing alone and they were NPC's. Even now it's difficult to create a person for even the people who use names here. I've still found two people, one a long time ago and another recently, with whom I can feel connected with.

Maybe that same mindset I have, and maybe others do too, has seeped into the other half of the world with you.

Hm, yes, I'm actually passing through this right now. Of the closest people I can call a friend I've run from one because I'm too incompetent to finish some favours I promised some years ago, and the other simply because we have nothing in common anymore and I'm too much of a fag to deal with it. And everyone else I kept contact with just went away with it.
Also, that >>8785.

I haven't talked to the only RL friend I have for over a year. He's never tried to contact me again either, so I guess the growing dislike was mutual. I still remember the fun times I had with him when we were in school and it makes me sad, because he grew to be a different unlikable person.

Post edited on 2nd Feb 2012, 5:19pm

>>8797
Yes, I also feel this towards the friend I've had. There were so many memorable situations we've had that sometimes I try to contact him in hopes of going back to those moments again but all I can manage is hate and despise for him.

I'm afraid to get really descriptive about my ex-friend in threads like this because he might be here too. I doubt it, but there's always a chance

I don't really have any real friends, but on the internet I find it easy enough. I fouind one guy who has even crazier fetishes than I do, and a girl that accepts and is cool with my weird habits. And before you jump on my ass I'm not attracted to real girls although I can appreciate their friendship.

Even on crappy MMOs like Runescape I was able to join a clan and chat with some pretty cool guys. Having a female character helps. Also the guys on tc irc are my friends.

Right? Right?

Post edited on 3rd Feb 2012, 4:13am

I originally wrote a whole spiel about how I have 3 friends and how precious they are to me, but I scrapped that for a more concise version (which is still quite long).

Paperface-brand pathetic, nostalgic rant ($4.99 per word, plus tax) incoming:

I have 3 friends left. Although "left" isn't proper wording. I've had three friends since Sophomore year. Their visits grew more and more sporadic throughout the years, though. Now we just email each other or get together and order pizza at someone's place. Fuck. Getting all emotional and 'ting, like a pussy. They're valuable to me.

I have not told them about my waifu. I think it's weird, and that I should, but that's the mental equivalent to tightrope walking between the Twin Towers. It can be done, but it's just going to take me a while, if I ever do it.

But you guys get what I'm going through, and the feeling is mutual. That's one of the most valuable things in the world to me. So yes, I consider /tc/ as a whole, my friend(s) as well. Thanks, Tohno.

I never really had any true friends in the first place. Just never met anybody who was into the same things I was, to the same extent that I was. Sure, some scratched the tip of the iceberg, but they didn't want to dig any deeper.

So, I suppose I've isolated myself (emotionally at least) from people since I was around 6-7 and my first two childhood friends both moved away. It's easier to make friends as a kid. Once I lost them, I never met anybody else I could get anywhere near as close to.

I'm not sure if it counts, but I used to have quite a few online friends when I went through an MMO phase. Maybe I can get that back with GW2 or PSO2. Right now I only have TC, which I'm happy with, but it's still nice to be able to have people to discuss the things I enjoy with in real-time.

I'm really good at dealing with people in reality, but I never feel any connections to them. People often complain that I lack empathy.

up until around 5-6 years ago, I hung out with friends around once a week, kind of hated them though, but still went because I was doormat that just went along with them whenever they

asked me to hang out with them, buy them lunch, drive them around ect, but around 4-5 years ago, I was finding it harder and harder to be around them as time went by, getting to where

I was only still seeing what one might call my (very persistent) best friend, never did know the others that well.. (it was obvious anyway they only wanted me around so I could pay for

things... and so they could steal from me...)
it eventually got to where I found it stressful and infuriating just to be around this guy, and broke contact.
Might have been because I had finally worked up the ability to say no to them, maybe it was deteriorating mental health, or maybe I was just lying to myself about the whole thing with having friends.

Something like a year goes by, maybe two, and he calls me, wants to hang out for old times sake or something.
after thinking about it for some time, I go through with it, and was miserable the entire short time.
talking to him on the phone wasn't that bad, but only took five minutes of being around him to make me sick of him and want to go home already.
Something like 3+ years go by without having talked to him or anyone else I could call a friend (offline anyway).
He called me a few weeks ago to hang out, I told him I was busy that day (spent the day dicking around online and watching anime)

How I deal with solitude? I enjoy every minute of it, that's how.
It's really not a problem for me.
the only times when I leave my room for more than a few minutes at a time, are when my mom isn't home.
It's a good chance to stretch out, since my room is so cramped and full of junk.
It's the only time when I can be at ease, and actually relax.
even when locked in my room, I don't know if she's gonna start calling out to me for some stupid reason, pounding on my door or even watching me from some hidden peephole or something.
when I'm alone, I feel free.

I'm really just no good with people.
the more I get to know people, the more I get on their nerves and they get sick of me.
It's always the same thing, sooner or latter, as much as they might say they like me at first, they always, always get sick of me as they get to know me.
I've had it happen countless times, with other friends, both online and off, although I didn't really think much of those offline ones, since kids move away, shit happens... but when you meet up with them in high school, and they know it's you, but pretend not to... yeah...
don't really matter how good the friendship seems, it always falls apart in the end.
so I don't really expect anything from anyone anymore.
I truly believe that I'm supposed to be alone, meant to be alone.
even that best friend type guy has said I'm an asshole a number of times, and meant it.
and it was clear that he regretted meeting up with me again that last time.
Tons of online friends who got sick of me would tell me what an asshole I am.
I've had a stranger tell me I was an asshole once, and explain to me how her friends supposedly thought I was an asshole too, just from watching me at work a few times.
coworkers of course have told me things like that before also, have had people at work flip out about how much of a dick I was, because I didn't want to talk to them.
even my mom seems at her limits of dealing with me, and I do not blame her one bit.
I've had this problem weather I'm nice to people, act like myself, or just keep to myself, it doesn't matter.
I couldn't even buy a friendship, as proven by my offline friends, but also once bought a $300 bootleg (worthless) camera off a coworker to try and smooth things over, he still hated my

guts.
so instead of bothering more people, it's just best that I leave them all alone, and be alone.
and I'm fine with it, I don't like people anyway.
Truly and honestly, I can't stand to be around people, can't stand their smells, can't stand to look at them, listen to them and sure as hell don't like to be touched.
they can't stand me, I can't stand them.
sounds perfect if you ask me.
and I'm starting to not really care anymore.
I mean, what reason do I have to try and be friendly with people that will just get sick of me sooner or latter anyway?

This is why I like to close myself off into the world of 2D.
They don't care what type of personalty you have, they wont get bored of you or think you're annoying or an asshole or a faggot or whatever.

and places like this..
No getting to know people, holding direct conversations, any of that.
just a sea of comments, with some directed at others.

people always say how no one wants to be alone, how lonely it is and all that crap.
but you know, some people really can't stand to be around people.
they wont believe it, but It's not always a cry for help, people actually can mean it.

>>8805
I totally feel you. I feel how it feels to be 'used' by 'friends'.

I am from 'rich family' and I thought I had many friends in elementary and high school. I always had fun with them but I kind knew they didn't really like me. They always tried to smoke me out. They just used me because I had money, games, sweets etc.

In one day they decided they wanted to borrow my game console (ps2 which was basically just released) and my multitab which allowed four people to play same time. I was okay and I asked "May I join?". They answered their prentetious bullshit something like "Ehh.. my parents don't allow more people so you can't come.". Thats when I snapped and I took the console from his hands and slammed the door. Thas was last time I talked to them. It felt good. I feel so pathetic afterwards. I sold my console and all my games. I tried to focus my studies and find new intrests. I started watched anime, using irc and imageboards much more. That was when I became a 'hardcore otaku'.

After high school I've never tried to find new friends. There are few people I've shared my thought over internet and maybe I could call them friends. I still have hard time trusting other people. I don't ever want to be used like that.

>>8784
>How do you deal with everyday solitude
I am physically alone but I NEVER feel lonely anymore. My waifu plays a big part. She fills my solitude. Of course irc and imageboards are place where I can always discuss with people who are somehow similar to me.

>Why do you think you can't deal with others?
Well I can deal with others if needed. I just don't want. Sometimes I am forced to do small talk. Not that I hate it but it just feels so forced, always. People are just mostly annoying. Thats why I like using internet to socializing. It is easy just to cut off the connection if you want to.

Some people might think I am pathetic but I am perfectly happy and healthy. I contribute society and pay taxes. I just don't want to waste my free time to deal with people.

>>8805
If you really didn't want to talk to anyone you wouldn't post on the site either. I don't think you're an asshole, I don't think anyone really thinks that. You just get angry often, and when you get angry you run away. If you could admit that you have a problem about something instead of being passive-aggressive you would have a much easier time getting along with people

>how long have you closed yourself from friends and acquantainces?

~2,5 years. I meet with a friend of mine once or twice a year (whenever she comes home to visit her parents) and that's pretty much it (we don't ever contact each other aside from that). We aren't really close or anything, rather than calling her a friend I'd preffer to call her an acquaintance.

>How do you deal with everyday solitude?

Books, anime, books, manga, books. In that order. A video game or two once every few months (somehow they aren't as fun as they used to be, I can't put my finger on it; it's probably just me).

>Why do you think you can't deal with others?

It's not that I can't but it's such a pain in the ass. Really. I mean maintaining any kind of relationship with other people is a really hard, resource consuming job (mostly time consuming but you've got to have lots of patience, too) and you get next to nothing in return. You waste time on stupid rituals ('so how was your day?') while you could be doing something interesting.

The only thing I regret is that I tried to fit in very hard for such a long time. Nobody will return my wasted time. Being alone can be pretty fun at times and even when it isn't being bored by yourself is still better than being bored with others.

Then again I remember that some 6 months in I had a sort of breakdown where I was willing to just walk out of my appartment and talk to some completely random strangers. Not talking with anyone for such a long period of time was surprisingly hard for me.

After a week of tomrent, anguish and agony it went away and never came back. I can honestly say I was much, much happier than before after cutting my ties with everyone. I guess I just had some minor withdrawal syndrome (which sort of makes sense).

>>8807
Image boards are a far cry away from interacting with real people in person, and still very different than other online ways of taking with people directly.

Post edited on 3rd Feb 2012, 8:29pm

Alright, we also have another thread about friends but I'll drop this here to see if anyone can add to it.

Over time I've noticed people tend to accept things they would normally hate, or so be conditioned by something they are too apathetic to change. A good example of this would be how you can force meme's in many places. For my first try at filling out my hypothesis of this I tried /v/ but was unsuccessful, I blame this on the community being much to large and quick for me to have a noticeable impact. I then moved my sights to /jp/ and shamefully did the same with a daily dose to try this out. /jp/ is not only more submissive, but the board is smaller so I was a larger part by ratio of posters. At first I was met with hostility but later it kept on changing to a positive outlook. I became an expected part of the days of many other people.

I fulfilled what I came for, but still felt as a failure. There are many things that could have gone wrong here, such as the growing number of people that would just try to fit in for no reasons. I've tried another approach to be more singular after this. I have four people that I opened contact with online. One on IRC, one on MSN, one on Twitter, and another on an online forum. I was openly dismissed by all four initially, but again I saw the same things happen that did on the imageboard. I became expected and I could say even seeped into their lives. I had to do hardly any work other than saying good day or such greetings. From there THEY openly started to contact me, and dare I say even shift their schedule to plan for my coming. I don't find a 4/4 rate to be just a coincidence, so making friends must really just be this easy.

You don't have to do anything other than be expected, and anyone can be your friend. Would you say the overall value of friendship is lowered by lifting the veil and providing a sort of flowchart on it?

>>8810
Well....yes. The more you spend with. Ppl the more 'comfortable' you feel with them and the more accepting you are wiith them. Something similar happens with 3DPD

>>8810
Why would you try on 4chan? That place is a cesspool of Ford Drivers.

Go to 4chon at least.

>>8810
Which daily dose was it?

Post edited on 4th Feb 2012, 9:27pm

>>8814
4chon is awful

>>8810
I don't think that could work well in real life: if you were to say "hello" to random people everyday they would probably think "What does he want?".
This is just my opinion from having no experience in social situations however.

>>8823
Yeah usually if people say hi to me, I wonder the same thing because no one ever says hi to you and doesn't want to talk further to you about something, otherwise I don't think they would bother saying anything at all.

>>8825
>>8823
Maybe they're in love.

>>8825
Sometimes people say hi to me when I'm out walking in the very early morning or whatever. I just take it as a friendly gesture, mumble/say a hi back, and keep walking.

I just ignore people who greet me offline.

I really don't give a shit anymore what they think of me.

>>8784
>how long have you closed yourself from friends and acquantainces?
Since I finished school, 6 years ago.

>How do you deal with everyday solitude?
I go out once a week to collect welfare - twice a week if you count buying a game I want on release day.

Other than that, I usually play videogames, watch anime & movies, play my piano and read.

I'm not sure, but I guess I'm a semi-shut in?

>Why do you think you can't deal with others?
I was bullied throughout my school years, so I've grown to hate people.



>>8828
I do that, too. Although the person who usually says hi to me asked if I knew some other guy today, to which I replied no. Now I'm thinking he was asking about the guy who lives next door to me (I don't know his surname, only his first name).

If that's the case, then I feel like a fucking retard.

I haven't had any friends since I was about 12. I hate being around other people anyway, the only time I feel relaxed is in my room with no outside distractions.

>>8847
I watch anime sometimes and play games even less. I'm usually listening to music all day whilst browsing the internet. Music is the way I deal with my solitude. I don't mind being around people but they feel uncomfortable around me because of my lack of things to say and how unreadable I am on the outside as to what I'm really feeling or thinking. People usually think I'm not listening to them when I'm probably one of the best listeners I know, it's just that I don't have a lot to say to what people say to me and I seem unresponsive and cold. I go out quite often shopping or just wandering around if I went with someone for a trip somewhere and have nothing to buy or I'm taking a walk. I also go out with my father and a few other family members out to eat to a buffet on Friday and Saturday nights but never find myself speaking to anyone else besides them and sometimes they make me uncomfortable. I wish I had someone very close who will accept me as I am but I can't even find anyone to call a simple friend. I think that's the emptiness I feel inside, I have no connection to anyone here. I've tried everything to fill it and that's what drains me, I can't ignore it, cover it up drugs and music, and say I don't need it. It's always there.

>>8850

I think when people say 'good listener' they mean more than just a person who listens to everything they say. I mean really, don't most people do this? It's pretty rude not to.

Basically I think people associate 'good listener' with 'empathy' and 'a guy who says what I want to hear' first and foremost.

>>8851
Most likely, I don't know how others normally think either but I say what I mean not just what I think someone wants to hear.

>>8851

TV SHOW HOST: Kelly, focus.

>MISS TEEN USA: I am... well, I'm listening what you're saying but I only hear what I want to...

TV SHOW HOST: That's just called being a woman.

>MISS TEEN USA: Oh...

[women at the audience boo at him]

TV SHOW HOST: Women don't really wanna hear men's opinions, they just wanna hear their opinion in a deeper voice.

>how long have you closed yourself from friends and acquantainces?
I forget exactly when, but I got pulled out of school and began homeschooling while I was still in the fourth grade, and I haven't had 'regular' human contact since. Turning 20 next month.

>How do you deal with everyday solitude?
I revel in it. I loved living inside my head, and solitude never bothered me until my younger siblings started to go out and make friends and shit. That was when I started to feel like I was wasting my life.
I tried doing the same, but in the end I let all my contacts rot. I felt extremely uneasy having 'friends', they would always contact me at the worst time (which seemed to be any time at all), and the conversations were physically painful because they didn't have a single thing worth saying.
And then I found mai waifu and this place and accepted the fact that that's just not who I am. Ironically, I've become a little bit more sociable now that I no longer care about having friends.

>Why do you think you can't deal with others?
I've noticed that what few people I do enjoy spending time with are people who actually have something to say. I regularly have intellectually stimulating conversations with my mother, while the 3DPD girl I had a crush on for a while became nothing to me once I realized all she ever talked about was boys, booze and pot.

I still go outside pretty often though, as we live in the country and there's a small ranch and some woods on our property.

>>8855
What is homeschooling like anyways? How does it work? I'm 19 and already out of a normal high school but I've always been curious.

>>8856
It really depends on the parents. I'm sure there are some who run their house like any other school with tests, homework, recess, etc, while some don't really do anything special.

Our house was the latter. My parents trusted me and my siblings to find our own interests and follow them responsibly, so it was pretty much an eternal summer vacation. I basically spent my teens playing video games all day every day.

It sounds irresponsible, I know, but we're probably one of the most well-adjusted families you'll ever meet.

>>8869
I'm not responsible either and aren't jealous of anyone's life. That's pretty cool. Ever since I got through High School it has been eternal Summer here too. Time has flown by so quickly, I can't believe it is February already because it feels like just yesterday it actually was Summer time and I was just getting out of school.

>>8873
Seriously. I can't really accept that I'm supposed to be an adult now. Thankfully it's pretty normal for Italians to live with their parents well into middle age, hah.

And to clarify, I meant that how we were raised sounded irresponsible. I certainly wouldn't give a child free reign like we were given unless I really trusted them to learn from their mistakes.

Never had friends, so it's nothing new.
I used to be fake just to be accepted. It never worked out well, so now I don't even try to get close to people. Games, anime and internet, that's it.

>>8855
>>8856
>>8869
>>8873

Pretty unrelated but it's amazing how bad our schools are. They killed any possible interest I could have (or could have had) in all subjects taught at schools.

Now that I have been out of high school for quite some time I started to get interested in all of them again. When I was in highschool I played games/watched anime all day long just to forget about every school-related subject. Nowadays, I watch maybe an ep a day and that's it (I have no idea when was the last time I actually played something).
Instead, I read lots of history-related books (whoever said that life itself comes up with the best stories was spot on). Actually, I just read a lot period. I spend at least 8 hours a day reading something, both fiction and non-fiction. I never had any interests in physics and I thought it's a chore period but that's mostly because we never did anything interesting in class. Now I think stuff like Fermat's principle is really fascinating. On top of that this guy came up with it in 17th century! Wow. Actually, all variational principles are amazing. There are other things like Hesienberg's uncertainity principle, too.

Of course, for a guy who never paid much attention in physics class and never got past integrals/differentials in calculus it's pretty hard to comprehend. Now I kinda regret I never had interest in it. Then again, it's not like it's something I could've picked up at school, even most of the math I understood I picked up on my own (using textbooks of course, I'm not exactly a genius). They never taught as anything now that I think about it. The only think they managed to teach me is hate (or lack of interest at very best) towards all school subjects.

/rant