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8691 No. 8691 [Edit]
You ever have someone try really hard to make friends with you when you just want to be left alone? It's mostly when I sit by myself at lunch. They make me feel so guilty just for being quiet. Worst of all they pity me. Like I'm alone because no one likes me. Do you guys ever feel that way?
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>> No. 8692 [Edit]
yeah I know the type, I would just make it clear I want nothing to do with them by ignoring them.
they'll eventually go away.

I have no reason to feel guilty about it, I didn't ask anything of them or invite them over, they're the ones that decided to bother me, it's their problem, not mine.

Post edited on 28th Jan 2012, 1:38pm
>> No. 8694 [Edit]
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Not since I was ten.
>> No. 8695 [Edit]
Tell them to fuck off. Yes, it's that simple.
>> No. 8696 [Edit]
yeah but even tough they're bothering me they're just trying to be kind. They probably think how sad they would be if they were sitting alone.
>> No. 8697 [Edit]
I had that problem when i was still in school sometimes. Nowadays my mother sometimes asks me if I want to watch a movie with her, and I feel bad about saying no because I know she's just trying to be nice and relieve my "loneliness" a little.
>> No. 8698 [Edit]
Don't go out. Problem solved.
>> No. 8699 [Edit]
That's not being kind, that's forcing your ideas that being alone is a bad thing onto someone else, and completely ignoring the possibility that they might actually -want- to be left alone.

there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell. -Ben Harper
>> No. 8700 [Edit]
>> No. 8701 [Edit]
drop out, Problem solved
>> No. 8702 [Edit]
Kill everyone (literally everyone). Problem solved. Quite a few solved, actually
>> No. 8703 [Edit]
yeah I'm sure that will solve all OP's problems and not create any more problems at all
>> No. 8704 [Edit]

I didn't think anyone here would still go to school.
>> No. 8705 [Edit]
Don't be ridiculous, i'm pretty sure the majority of us aren't neets.
>> No. 8706 [Edit]
What? I'm pretty sure most of us ARE NEETS. Where did you get that idea?
>> No. 8707 [Edit]
yeah, this place is infested with school going faggots.
>> No. 8708 [Edit]
Back in school, I had a group of friends solely out of fear for being alone. Sophomore year, I realized I didn't like them, and cut ties. That was when I started really fucking up.

Personally, I got some kind of weird, sad happiness if somebody took pity on me in that sense. Made me feel wanted, excited, hopeful, etc. And then I realized, "Waitaminute, I do not like these folks at all, we have nothing in common, they bore me (maybe I bore them), this won't be worth the effort of talking to people at all" and came up with a reason to leave their company. These little encounters with ordinary people usually lasted only a day or two, and completely ended Junior year, when I sort of stopped going. Eventually, everyone realized that I've no cares in the world and just want to take it easy.

It just takes time.
>> No. 8709 [Edit]
Being a neet involves a unique and delicate set of factors which are difficult to attain. Going to school is usually a good excuse to leech off your parents. If you don't go to school or have a job, then you're either leeching off your parents, a hobo, or have a huge inheritance, or living a neet lifestyle which isn't sustainable beyond the medium term. I don't backtrack on my previous comment at all. I am pretty sure most of us are college students with otaku interests and far too much spare time.

Post edited on 28th Jan 2012, 3:45pm
>> No. 8710 [Edit]
I don't go to school or have a job, though I really should. I'm still not going to hate people for doing those things, because sometimes you just have to.
>> No. 8712 [Edit]
I'd like to go to college, but the sustainability of it is not within my means.

I would end up being a slave to a bank if I did go.

Not to mention I need to go to a shitty community college to get a high enough GPA to apply to most places, since I was suspended for "sexual harassment" my first year of secondary school, for recording jokes a girl told about herself.

I have had so many people approach me like that, and they seem to invariably be weeaboos, and many are female. Not the "Did you see that episode of OreImo? Have you ever seen Space Battleship Yamato?" kind of weeaboos, but the Funimation dub sucking Hetalia and shitty fujoshibait anime watchers who don't know the first thing about anime and manga(they call manga "anime comics." uuugh.).

I can't be mean to people unless they are mean to me, it's really against my nature. I end up being friendly but cold and distant, pretend to be really sleepy and unenergetic and not in any sort of social mood when they are around, and be concise in everything. They eventually get bored with you and leave. But it takes a long time.

Alternative is telling them to fuck off, but that's easier said than done, and most of the people who say things like that have gotten comfortable being under the veil of internet anonymity.

It took me until after my graduation to realise this.

Post edited on 28th Jan 2012, 8:33pm
>> No. 8714 [Edit]

I think that's pretty rude.


>That's not being kind, that's forcing your ideas that being alone is a bad thing onto someone else, and completely ignoring the possibility that they might actually -want- to be left alone.

I disagree. Yes, they don't even consider that possibility but that's not because they want to shove their worldview down somebody's throat. Rather than that, they can't even begin to imagine some people like to spend time alone. I honestly mean it. They try to strike up a conversation with strangers who are sitting alone because for them being alone is the worst possible scenario they could imagine.
I don' think something you should really hate them for. I've got stuff like that, too. I mean, I can't imagine what it feels like to believe in Haruhi (or fate or whatever). It's honestly beyond my understanding. If you think about it you might realize that you've got something like that, too (or not, maybe you're that openminded).

OP, you should politely tell them that you're spending time alone because you like it that way. Try to be polite but assertive. Say something like 'Sorry but I have no need for company'. Or something of the sort.
>> No. 8715 [Edit]
I think if you cut off ties and don't have any friends, you're bound to fuck up in some way or another eventually. Having no social contact does bad things to your worldview and ability to survive in society. I'm not even trying to push some kind of normal agenda here. I hate/am afraid of social contact and secretly look down on others, but I've been burned far too many times to know that secluding myself is the wrong way to go about it. I think relaxing your narrow standards and trying to find someone who is decent and has the same interests is the way to go, but avoid people who are bad influences or someone ridiculous who won't give you perspective in like like a mentally handicapped guy for example. Even if you only have one or two friends, thats okay. Hell, even talking to your parents or some guys on IRC help to keep you going crazy. To be able to survive on your own you need to have a lot of strength, which you probably don't if you're on /so/.
>> No. 8716 [Edit]
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There was a 3D in particular who, after I started alienating myself from everyone, persisted hard into aproaching me friendly (she might even had some sort girl crush on me, idk). Polite as I managed to be, I always sent her away: she was a fervorous Latter-day Saints christian, totally uninteresting and dull; in the end I just couldn't stand her, so I have to be rather sharp. I don't feel any guilt for it, though...

On the other hand, I once had a female friend who, as I later found out, did certain nice things for me (like if she fancied me) out of nothing but pitty. It was sickeningly humilliating; I wouldn't tolerate it, so I ended that friendship (followed by many others); she tried to make up several times, but I could never forgive her: I couldn't possibly trust her no more...

Pitty is an awful thing to deal with.

Post edited on 29th Jan 2012, 6:15pm
>> No. 8726 [Edit]
I know what you mean, im sort of forced to go to school due to my father making clear he isn't going to support my ass forever, and shit do i feel like a fish out of water going to classes.
>> No. 8727 [Edit]
I think being harasses by dipshits out of pitty is pretty rude.
>> No. 8733 [Edit]
I know if you want to be my friend because you genuinely like me go ahead but if you just want to make me feel even more upset by throwing me a pity party. It's ok to feel bad for me and try to do a bunch to help, I really appreciate that but if that's your only reason you're around me and for only your own benefit to make you feel better about yourself then you're better off just going away. That's such a artificial friendship.
>> No. 8734 [Edit]
[personal recollection] At least five girls wanted to get to know me when I was a teenager. I pushed all of them away, because I thought their interest was just a bad joke on me. For some reason, I believed women were incapable of love, and only pretend in order to abuse and humiliate men.
>> No. 8736 [Edit]
What if someone equally as shit as you wants to be your friend because they have no one else to hang out with?
>> No. 8737 [Edit]
we would hate each other just as much as we would hate ourselves.
>> No. 8739 [Edit]
Are you serious? Did you ever think that this other person was also just struggling to find someone to connect with, because they're in the same friendless position as you and rather than mope about it on /so/ they're trying to find a friend and you seemed like a likely candidate of a good person?

Nice picture, but it's also incorrect. She didn't do anything out of pity, but to help herself. The people that approach you are doing the same as well. They just want friends because they're lonely. It's best if you tell them straight out "no" than lead them on.

Rather than be a simpleminded fuck and believe that everyone is a party going frat boy who wants to sex a million bitches and feels sorry for you, try to have some empathy. Maybe they're not that social and being alone isn't the worst possible scenario for them. You can want something in moderation, and that includes social contact. not everyone is so lucky to have parents or siblings to talk with like most of you do, or online friends to share your thoughts.
>> No. 8740 [Edit]
so they might have problems, okay, still don't see how that makes it our problem.
>> No. 8741 [Edit]
If that's how you feel, why even post it here?
>> No. 8742 [Edit]
>She didn't do anything out of pity, but to help herself.

I wouldn't really be sure about that.. Misaki said she helped Satou because she felt she could only speak naturally to people that she looked down upon. She helped Satou so she could feel like an angel and feel better about herself over any genuine desire to help him. Also there was a chapter in the manga where she went back to high school and some popular girls wanted to chat to her, but she blew them off and decided to hang around a fujoshi group instead.
>> No. 8743 [Edit]
I can't look at her the same way again after She tied up satou and offered herself like a slut to the other dude. Doesn't matter if she didn't do anything, she's still shit in my eyes.
>> No. 8744 [Edit]
>> No. 8745 [Edit]
why post what?
that I don't want to be bothered by people? that I don't want friends or to be burdened by some else's baggage when it's really not my problem?
since when is wanting to make friends a requirement for posting on /so/?
I would think it the opposite really, this isn't /r9k/.
>> No. 8746 [Edit]
I don't think you're the OP, but he came off to me as a jerk himself.

>"All these people want to be my friends, and I have to turn ALL of them down!"

Yes, you want to seclude yourself so much that you rush here to tell us all about it. You don't want a pity party from them either, so lets type all about it on /so/!
>> No. 8748 [Edit]

>Are you serious? Did you ever think that this other person was also just struggling to find someone to connect with, because they're in the same friendless position as you and rather than mope about it on /so/ they're trying to find a friend and you seemed like a likely candidate of a good person?

That's almost out of question. If they are sociable enough to start leisurely talking with random strangers they wouldn't have problems with finding friends. Unless there's something terribly wrong with them which in 9/10 cases would mean you don't really want to have anything to do with them, either.

>not everyone is so lucky to have parents or siblings to talk with like most of you do, or online friends to share your thoughts.

Not everyone has the need to talk to others either. Since I turned 16 I never considered talking with other people/socializing as anything but the most wastefully wasteful waste of time.
>> No. 8751 [Edit]
>If they are sociable enough to start leisurely talking with random strangers they wouldn't have problems with finding friends.

This is not neccesarily an absolute. People feel more comfortable speaking with certain people. I know for certain that I'd be more relaxed and open to trying to talk to someone who seems to be on the same level as me and share the same interests, than try duking it out with a group of very popular people who find me awkward, boring, and be unappreciative of my company.
>> No. 8752 [Edit]
I'm not that guy, but you know when someone is "talking down" to you, as if they're doing you a favor. It's really easy to tell between that kind of person, with those motivations, and someone who genuinely wants to connect with you.
>> No. 8753 [Edit]
but how would you know who has the same interests as you or is on the same level, without first talking to them?
It's not like there are official tohno-chan t-shits in circulation, yet.
>> No. 8754 [Edit]
I hate myself, and consider people who are like me to be inferior.
>> No. 8755 [Edit]
Not being autistic is a plus in that department. Communication extends to more than just language. If you watch someone for a while you can get a good idea of what kind of person they are, or at least if you're compatible. Through tone of voice and body language it's much simpler to create an appropriate response. I still have plenty of trouble responding to posts on image and text boards, as a lack of many useful inputs requires a more thorough read of whatever someone has directed at me. Reaction images assist in this and that's one of the reasons I don't use them myself unless I really have to get a point across.

I'm an unremarkable person, so I think it's safe to assume these same cues are amplified for most people making it simpler for them to interact. Likely a reason many of us are avoided or at least left alone from the get go.

Either OP isn't being honest with himself by denying others, or whoever initiated communications just wasn't very adept at reading others.
>> No. 8757 [Edit]
By looking at them. What clothes do they wear? Are they usually with friends? Does their body language constantly exude an aura of 'I suck and I am depressed'? Someone's appearance is a good indicator.
>> No. 8758 [Edit]
>Are they usually with friends?
are you going to stalk this random person?
>> No. 8759 [Edit]
If you're friends it isn't stalking, but hanging out. In this case done preemptively.
>> No. 8760 [Edit]
>Does their body language constantly exude an aura of 'I suck and I am depressed'?

Oh lord, I wonder if mine does. I like to think I'm pretty good at hiding it.
>> No. 8763 [Edit]
I don't know what mine shows most commonly when I'm out since I have gotten so many different reactions from so many different people. Sometimes I think I'm impossible to read.
>> No. 8764 [Edit]
so you're hanging out with strangers who you know nothing about, so you can learn weather or not you want to keep doing this hanging out?
sounds like dating, but with friends.
>> No. 8769 [Edit]
No, you watch them.
I'm a student myself, and during class or labwork most people work alone. You can analyze them while pretending you're doing work and get a handle of what kind of person they are. If I feel comfortable I might approach them. That moment has yet to happen, but I'm hopeful!
>> No. 9027 [Edit]
My sister treats me that way. She always wants to hang out with me. I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I can can't bring myself to say no.
>> No. 9028 [Edit]
I wish I had a sister like that. I'm scared I would molest her or something though. Sad stuff.
>> No. 9033 [Edit]

>I wish I had a sister like that.

Well from what he said you can guess his sister is nice but my sister 'always wants to hang out with me', too, and I hate her with passion.

Well, I guess in my case it's more 'harasses me to hang out with her'. It's basically the standard 'why don't you go out' stuff you might be hearing from your parent (except my mom is rather civil about it).

By now I kinda pretend my sister doesn't exist. Once I caught myself thinking 'damn, I wish I had an oneechan... oh wait, I actually have one already'.

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