I will admit that I do at times, but it just ends with me getting depressed. Afterwards, I just try to distract myself with video games.

Luckily I dont have to interact with any people who actually do anything with their lives. Otherwise I would be acting just like you OP, expect it would be 5 times worse.

Yeah OP, and I usually feel vindicated after they fail. I don't always feel this way though.

Nah, I look down on those who don't even make the minimal of efforts.

I just stay in my room and ignore what normal people do.

I notice what other people are putting their efforts behind and I just don't understand "why that?" My conclusions are that they choose the easy route, the one with minimum hardships, and with the maximum amount of mediocracy. Perhaps it is their desire to "fit in."

>>8253
Also this, but it is important to note that the results of ones effort can be vastly different given the reason for the effort. And the reason for the effort is probably the most important thing of all.

I have this problem too OP. It causes me to abandon everyone I ever meet, even online.

>>8316
I do too. When I get "bored" of a friend or community I just cut all communication with them. Another reason why I never use the same username on different sites, so make total severing easier

There's no real point to anything, ever. Just love your waifu and try to make sure your mind doesn't turn to mush.

Also as for (online) friends I've kept them more by chance than from anything else. So eh.

I fantasize about ruining other people's lives a lot. I want to be an agent of misery. If I can't be happy, nobody should, etc. It's fucked up but I still do it.

Luckily I'm really bad at everything and don't really know anybody so I can't actually act on my urges

I've always done this, ever since I was a kid.
I was extremely jealous and bitter in my early teens because of being poor and fat, so I always tried to make everyone else feel miserable to bring them down to my level.

This probably peaked when I disowned my parents.
I told my mother I'll forgive her for having me, if she kills me. Haven't spoken to her in 2,5 years.

I still stand behind my words, poor people shouldn't reproduce, because they themselves have no self-control or any idea how to be successful in life.
Love and care don't mean jack shit in the long run.

>>8328
Just like having money or success!

Now to go vaguely on topic, I enjoy ijime in a sadistic way for the self derision component in bearing with it. And general emotional horizon of bearing with things. I couldn't think of forcing that in a 3D way though and don't want to. But listening to people's stories about their sad lifes can be nice in that same spirit.

In short, I care about other's people's efforts positively if they fail (partially).
(But I also enjoy seeing people succeed, if I care about em a bit.
It doesn't feel as 2 edged as it might read, to me.)

Of course some people would also enjoy scorning efforts of people they care about a lot, in a masochistic spirit;
And I can't say I couldn't, it'd merely require to cultivate that emotion to the point where it'd outweight the sadness. (No clue how sustained that is in the long run)
But the way I am now, I am thankful I was never forced to relate to ignorant and stupid people.

And there's jelousy. It's a very personal thing considering everyone wants and has different things.
I do think I scorn effort of people I hate for seeming to achive what I want to achive.
Can't think of any recent events in that spirit though. But scorning for that reason would be good in its own way. Because "I know I am right", "they don't deserve it because they are hated by me", and "they get what I want to get".
Even if the things I hate em for and the things they achive aren't related, this argument works emotionally. That is also part of what it means to be human to me.

Heck I couldn't even condemn killing the one dude who'll save all of mankind and the universe because you hate him so much. It's fair game. I'd hate and kill you nonetheless for it, but you'd have that covered in your expectations anyway. Or you were stealthy enough about it. Anyway it'd be worth it.
Now usually people don't feel that strongly about these things and rather just stick to the rules we all agreed on for our own safety. And grow tired or change your mind of the hatred over time perhaps. It's sad to be reminded of that others underservedly get what you want, after all.
The scorn is merely part of what makes it an enjoyable procedure at times here.

And then there's kicking puppy tier stuff. That seems just like a variation of what I wrote about me and ijime. Guess some people roll that way too. I can certainly see an apeal beyond the instinctive empathetic feeling.

Sure is a lot of ways to scorn efforts. I probably do em all here and there. And if it's just a small feeling of it, with different roots, but to the point of awareness, I'd bet many people have a hard time dealing with it. Just try to not be ashamed of it. And try to cultivate it in a way that doesn't make you overly sad in the long run.

Oh and try to cultivate feelings of empathy conciously, it's nice for a lot of stuff too. Enjoyment, perspectives, whatever. (anime is good at starting out with this, with all the different idealized and/or completely exposed personalities)

Also sorry for the wall of text. I enjoy trying to affect people with my opinions too much... (even when they seem like common sense to me mostly)

I like to stalk people in that really really really gay site I use to talk to my normalfag friends onand laugh when they are doing bad, and feel stupid and useless when they doing fine.

>>8367
Hey filter, get it toghether.
I don't have any friends to talk to.

>>8253
This.

If I let myself hate everyone doing better than me I'll end up mad at the world. I think it's natural to feel jealousy, but it's really not a good thing to indulge.

It's one of those things that just gets worse the more you feed it.

I'm in the opposite situation. Other people's successes (of any kind) makes me feel pathetic, while I tend to downplay my own. This is why I can't do hardly anything for fun. Does anyone share this with me?

>>8450
I just go ahead and deny myself any happiness from doing anything successfully. The only exception to this is if it is something abnormally difficult and/or amazing (to me) that I know cannot be achieved by regular people, but even then, I still "downplay" that.

>>8450
I don't have it as bad as I used to. I realized it isn't right to compare myself to people who have been practising for so long when I just started. Of course they are better. No one is born able to be a jack of all trades.

No, quite the opposite.

Like, I know some people who are basically what I wish I could have been, and I always encourage them to pursue what they want and succeed. At least, if I can feel happy for someone else I won't feel so pathetic and regretful.

Ironically, both people I talked to said they admired me. That made me feel a little better.

>>8471
You are me?

>>8511
Do you think people admire you, Shinden?

>>8516
I used to have admirers. In school, when I had a future and I was outspoken for the most part, several people would actually come to me looking for advice and help. I would use their experiences and thoughts on subjects and help them come to a conclusion on a course of action they thought was best. Many would really be nice and kind to me because of that. I also had a large knowledge of trivial facts that were brought up when people asked questions. I was compared to Miyuki from Lucky Star once. 

Most of my friends in school were lost when they discovered I had a very slippery course into being nothing. They noticed that I had no drive, had a very pessimistic view of the public school system, and was very critical of my school and my peers, and my grades were average and below. They tried to make me do things like school work but resented me for not doing them. When it was discovered my advice was based upon no authority, I lost admirers quickly as well. Only four or five narutards I treated like organic living beings as opposed to sod still admired me. Soon I resorted to hilighting my quirks, a social contact tactic that netted me a social circle in my early high school and middle school years, but this just became an annoyance to some. 

The friends I didn't lose to my lethargy or my idiocy were lost to lack of communication. The only two people I kept contact with on a regular basis became my only friends, along with a couple more who think I'll do something someday, but are just waiting to hear news about it. 

However, I gave up on seeking social contact after discovering how it felt to tell people that no, I did not go to college like you thought I would. No, I didn't start writing books. No, I am not living in Japan. No, I'm not a comedian. No, I am not smoking a pipe and reading classics as I debate with the rest of the fireside club about the impacts that textile production had on the waning years of the Meiji era and the subsequent expansions in industry during the Taishou era. I sit at home collecting plastic girls and playing games and posting on an imageboard buried deep within the "bowels of the Internet". I cannot be bothered to do more as I cannot physically and mentally bring myself to go through the torture of working, interacting with strangers, or doing labour because the simple thought of it, in even diluted and optimistic forms, gives me extreme lethargy and stress. Over the years I have grown accustomed to the fact that if I feel uncomfortable with something, I can either speed it up to finish it or simply not do it. I also have no money to pay into college, and view the college system as a scalping business taking advantage of professors, scholarship programs, and rich students rather than being an educational system. 

My crippling social anxiety stems from the one "so what have you been up to for the past [x] [time units]?" question everyone asks and is disappointed to hear I have nothing valuable to report. I was always shy and avoided contact because I am socially inept unless I know a person (my voice is very feminine when I speak to people and I am uncomfortable, feeding into my self-consciousness, but is much more masculine (read: obnoxious) when I speak to friends. I guess I have the feminine voice because I would rather someone mistake me for a girl or child than an obnoxious ass as a first impression, but it still irks me when a sandwich shop cashier or the UPS guy calls me "little buddy" when I am twenty and look twenty-three)

Looping back into OP's question, I only look down upon myself when I put effort into goals that never become accomplished because of outside forces or what I did in my past schooling. Like college and stuff. There is a little voice in my head that says "oh, looking into the Coast Guard? Well, enjoy combatting your hate for authority figures there. Also, try getting over your lack of patriotism when it's forced in you." or "oh, college? Nice. Hope you enjoy feeding into the shark of an educational system you assimilationist whore. A language major? Pffffff wow. What a Weeaboo. I'm sure that you'll be having an asston of job offers to be a translator. Maybe getting a teaching license in another country? Haha wow, good luck on that one." I'm undecided on whether to call it the Ayu-Ayu voice or the UnFreed voice. The original name was the troll voice but it's not really keeping me down for its own entertainment...

I like seeing others accomplish things, especially when I encouraged them to do it. It gives me a warm feeling inside, like I made an impact on someones life. That's all I need. 

Post edited on 5th Jan 2012, 10:05am

>>8526

I'm like, almost the exact same. However, I did go to college (at my last semester now) and honestly... I regret it. It's expensive, loaded with useless shit and fluff but I mostly hate it because I'm a moron who picked a major I don't like, at it's too late/expensive to change. I never put much thought into it and now I'm regretting it as I see how boring my career choice could be...

Oh and I'd actually like to join the coast guard too, with my degree I'm aiming for a certain officer position. I'd really like to do it because all of my family has been in the military (which they enjoyed immensely) and it does seem like something that would be good for me. However, my lack of self confidence makes me think that even trying would be useless because I would be rejected or wouldn't be able to make it.

The people that said they admired me said they admired my intelligence and vigor when talking about certain things, but even if that's true, it means nothing unless I can put it into action...

>>8526
You said,"My crippling social anxiety stems from the one 'so what have you been up to for the past [x] [time units]?' question everyone asks". What I don't understand is why don't you just lie to them. Say something like your a programmer, or day trader. If your afraid they will ask further questions, why don't you say your doing some boring job like being an accountant. They probably change the subject if you say your an accountant. I'm not sure if you ever watched Seinfeld, but there was a character who always lied that he was an architect, and he seemed to get away with that lie most of the time. Or are you just morally against lying?

>>8557
Every time I have lied, it has come back to bite me in the ass.

I guess it's too easy to confirm or something.

>>8557
Lies usually tend to beget more lies, cause you have to lie to cover up your old lies. Also if you get found out, it could put you in a really tough spot. In addition, lying is just plain hard. It needs quick thinking and some degree of creativity, not to mention it needs to be believable. This is hard for someone with social anxiety, because their social skills would be poor enough as is.

Its better to just artfully dodge the question. That way you don't have your conscience distracting you, and theres nothing to be 'found out'. If someone calls you out you can just feign ignorance.

There are situations when I lie to people. Like when I went to the supermarket on news years eve and the cashier asked if I was going out later, of course I said yes.
Friends/family/acquaintances are a different matter. Better solution is to either DO SOMETHING to report (work/study) or get diagnosed with chronic fatigue/autism/etc. and tell them that.

Not really, but I do like to see other people be in hardships or stuff like that.

It gives me a sense of security to see other people suffering... Maybe it's because it makes me feel not alone in finding life hard or something.

That's why I've always been VERY huge on Schadenfreude, because I like to watch others struggle. I've also bullied people during school but it never mattered to me whether or not I'm the one doing it or just watching it happen while metaphorically eating popcorn.

>>8566
I just say I'm not doing anything. I'm such a useless piece of shit, that all I do in my family is get everyone mad just by being around them. I wish they would stop telling me to DO SOMETHING because they knew from the second I entered 1st grade that this is just what I am, a brain dead screw up that will never be able to survive anywhere but home.

Yes. I absolutely fucking hate it. I hate hearing of people studying, of graduating, of creating anything. I do everything to discourage people from succeeding and don't even care how this makes me look. I don't fucking care. I wish pathetic, worthless pieces of shit like me were all sequestered in out own disgusting retard colony so we'd never have to hear of people who are better than us again.

yeah a bit now that i think of it, and it's not just because of my own inadequacies.
It really does seem like most successful people out there are grade a assholes, and the more successful they are, the bigger their ego and jackass level gets.
As they say, power corrupts.
When a person has nothing, they become humble and thankful for what they do have.

also, it seems rare for people to really get up in life, without first stepping over other people on their way to the top.
I really hate this system that rewards people for taking advantage of each other and encourages people to fuck each other over.
Then act like a douchebag once you've made it by showing off and bragging about it.


but yeah, I also dislike people around me that aren't also wasts of human lives, because they manage to do things I could never bring myself to, even when it's things I don't want to do, like just going to collage or working a regular job.

>>8661
>I wish pathetic, worthless pieces of shit like me were all sequestered in out own disgusting retard colony so we'd never have to hear of people who are better than us again.
It is already the case for the most part.

Good for them I guess.

Personally I prefer to stay in my room all day playing chinese cartoon games.