I can't talk to people. I'm OK with my close family, but talking to anyone else gives me borderline panic attacks. This also applies to online stuff. I'm fine with text, but if I try to use voice chat on a game or whatever I clam up.

Post edited on 29th Nov 2011, 11:38pm

I have agoraphobia, chronic depression, and autism, all of which get me a sweet $674 a month from the government.

>>8167

You have anxiety that causes you to react that way. In my instance, even if I'm anxiety free, I have trouble trying to say what I think, and I "clutter" and struggle in trying to find words from memory (I have very poor memory) and structuring in an organized order in the form of speech. When I try to explain things, I have great difficulty, sentences are completely disorganized (my mind is completely blank when I try to talk to people)and doesn't flow, everything out of order, while at the same time my pronounciation is off and I stutter.

That's the reason I also panicked (a heart rushing attack while I blank out my mind in white mist and feels I'm about to faint) when I try to difficulty explaining things to people and try to rush the speech (pressured speech)because I fear I forget what words I need to use in order to get the person to understand me. However, they don't understand what I'm saying most of the time, because of my crap pronunciation and stuttering (I also stutter a lot in addition to "cluttering"). When people listen to me to what I say, I get judged for on for being unable to say it properly and they'll think I'm stupid or retarded because of this disability. And automatically/naturally they'll treat me as a "second class" for granted, they perceive me as someone below or inferior. And it gives them the right to treat me like sh*t and have no respect for me. Respect, they completely disregard any "respect" for me.

I really like I'm the only one in this world to have this disability. I can't find anyone else to relate to. Not that I have any friends. I doubt I can survive in this world.

>>8168

I'm not as lucky as you, I can't get anything from the government. I don't think I can get anything from them.

>>8170
Wont know until you try

>>8171

I know I can't get it. I'm not qualified for it.

I have pyromania, heat urticaria, a somewhat hard time talking to people and worst of all: laziness

After years of having it I can deal with my pyromania now.

Heat urticaria is something that came up sort of recently. Whenever I get too warm or hot I get hives, which feel horrible. I can't even sweat anymore as these hives itch and hurt too much for me to continue doing anything. Even walking outside a bit will give me it. The worst thing is the emotions. If I feel almost any emotion other than happiness or pleasure I will get it. It's mostly from nervousness though. Pic was taken at a seafood restaurant's toilet while eating with family. I was itching uncontrollably and couldn't eat anything from how hot it was in there. Some of the food was spicy and hot too.

I used to not be able to talk to people. I'm still generally really shy. I "speak my mind" alot and before I'd do this to people that talked with me which made me offensive or weird sometimes. I usually just keep my mouth shut now as it's better this way. Though occasionally I'll stutter or blurt out or talk a sentence I can't finish. Except for friends of course, then I can talk normally. I'm a pretty open person now though, but a few years ago I would never have even made this post.

I'm from a well off family. So naturally I'm lazy and don't really have to work. I'll probably never work in my lifetime, hopefully. I should go claim that government money though, I think I can get some maybe. I always think about it but I'm too lazy to even bother with it.

>>8173
I only get those during winter and the itching and burning are horrid. I remember walking less than a mile in chilly weather and the pain was too much that I had to lie on the floor for 20 minutes.

>>8173

Are you alright? I hope you're ok. You should go see a doctor or get help from a professional to treat you. That pain is gonna reduce your quality of life, even though you have a well off family.

You're lucky you don't have to work. I'm not born into well off family, so I have to make a living. It's hard to be me.

I know there's probably something wrong with me mentally and I should get a proper diagnosis but the thought scares me.

I am "moral", as in uncompromizing on my beliefs, which can be pretty much summed up as "sharing is caring", "the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few", and "be kind please rewind". This makes me uncompatible with 99% of humans who are soley in on it for themselves and the people closest to them. Sometimes it seems like everyone but me is willing to throw away everything they believe in while comforted in the thought "it is ok to do it, everyone else does".

On the other hand people who hold the same core values as I generally either hippies or religious prudes, both of which I am also incompatible with.

Nothing, I merely despise people and cannot work with them.

>>8167
An example of how bad this is for me: Today my dad wants me to help him and my mom call into a radio station so we can win 10,000 dollars. If we are a certain caller number, all I would have to do is say my name and go to the station in a week to collect the money. That's all, and yet I still don't want to do it

>In my instance, even if I'm anxiety free, I have trouble trying to say what I think, and I "clutter" and struggle in trying to find words from memory (I have very poor memory) and structuring in an organized order in the form of speech. When I try to explain things, I have great difficulty, sentences are completely disorganized (my mind is completely blank when I try to talk to people)and doesn't flow, everything out of order, while at the same time my pronounciation is off and I stutter.

I also have something like this (including the poor memory), except for the pronunciation of things, which I can usually pull off.

Anyway, I can't stand to be around anybody. Even if I know them, I'll get nervous and start sweating a lot (I've done this around my uncle and he's like a father to me, meaning that it only gets worse with anybody else being around me). It gets worse if the room/area is bright and they can clearly see me.

>>8169
> struggle in trying to find words from memory (I have very poor memory) and structuring in an organized order in the form of speech. When I try to explain things, I have great difficulty, sentences are completely disorganized (my mind is completely blank when I try to talk to people)

I'm not particularly nervous, but I have this too. It's really annoying, so I'm probably going to try to force myself to think of something again, although a previous attempt did lead people to think I was into animal porn. Yay disorganized thought.

I can work with other people on a professional level, but actual socializing is out of the question. When my cousin asked me why I never went out with my classmates, I told him it was bad enough having to spend time with them in class, spending time with them outside class would just be torture. He thinks I'm crazy.

But I don't really think there's anything wrong with me specifically, in terms of disorders or the like. I just can't understand people and they can't understand me, because I have different interests, goals and ideals than the vast majority of them. My mother keeps telling me I'll find someone, but it seems more like she's just trying to convince herself of it (and I don't have the heart to tell her I'm not attracted to women and don't want a relationship.)

>>8166
Im lazy as shit and love my 'sleep in till 1pm and go to bed @ 3am' schedule

>>8257

I think that's more sleep than you need

>>8257

How old are you?

This same question applies to all. When you're young at this point you tend not to think of your future, but when you're at a certain age you have to make a living cause you can't simply live the way you are now forever. There'll be a time when your parents are gone and you are left to support yourself unless you're well off, otherwise for everyone else not well off who has to earn a living to support themselves.

What you're gonna do then?

What age are you guys?

And at what age are you guys going to get your acts together before it is too late to do anything about it (no return)?

>>8265

live off autism moneys

>What you're gonna do then?

be homeless, I think it will be good for me.

>What age are you guys?

22 1/2

>And at what age are you guys going to get your acts together before it is too late to do anything about it (no return)?

My act is together it is the rest of the world that needs to change. (tohno-chan excluded).

>>8265
>What you're gonna do then?

I have no idea and I hope that I'm dead by that time.

>What age are you guys?
I am 20 years old.

I haven't been diagnosed anything but I can't comfortably interact with people. They try starting up conversation but I just make sounds and try not to reply or just walk away.

I also can't stand it when people see me or expect something from me.

I am also very paranoid and feel too useless to get any career I would be moderately pleased with (and why work if it makes you unhappy?).

I am also very useless at everyday things and feel like I cannot see many of the options I have for living by myself.
I don't know how to pay taxes, I don't know what to do about having a dwelling or dealing with government services, I don't even know how to operate cellphones or open umbrellas...I don't think I'll be ready to live out on my own for a long time...

Speech impediment here. It varies; one day my speech may be fine and the next I can barely get a word out.

That makes it extremely difficult to perform any job that involves networking or even customer service, or doing job interviews to get them, for that matter. Having a massive complex about people seeing me as inferior because of it doesn't help either.

>>8267

Homeless? Cause if you are homeless, you people out on the street can physically assault you, gang up and beat and steal from you, since you vulnerable and easy target. You be confronted with abuse in every form, physical, mental, emotional, psychological, as you out in the open. All sorts of nasty things people will do to you because you're homeless, there is prejudice and discrimination, and others will mistreat you.

>>8269

I understand how you feel. Being unable to communicate and feeling useless.

The thing is if you can communicate and interact with others, you can easily get any jobs and succeed in it.

But for most of us, we're seem doomed from the start because of our communication problem.

I may as well just consider myself a mute even though I'm not. I can speak but have difficulty with forming a flowing sentence and pronouncing it.

When I speak, it's a complete embarassment.

If you're just uncomfortable, without having the issues as I have, then consider you're lucky. You still able communicate that others can understand you, that's good enough. You can get a career and find a job.

Trust me, if you can communicate, and follow instructions, you can get any job.

As for useless, don't worry about that, those issues aren't big. You just do them one step at a time, no need to rush. Baby steps, but slowly you'll learn them.

>>8320

I know all that too well. I can't do jobs that involves a lot of verbal communication (speaking), such as retail, customer service, call center, office administration, public relations, any consultancy professionals, even accountants and computer programmers needs to communicate with clients to find out their requirements.

It's known that people who have a speech/language and speech impediment, such as people who stutter has low self-esteem and sees themselves inferior (me included).

I currently have a job. Boring/stupid factory shit, but pays really well considering I'm a two time high school dropout.

I have pretty major OCD and well, I can't say it hinders my work, but it affects it. Besides the extreme anxiety it generates, also, some embarrassing moments occur. Like, I'm standing in the middle of the hallway just staring at a clock, until the time changes from a certain minute. Positioning items in a certain angle. Taking/carrying a certain amount of items each time. Adding various numbers (like from shelves) up, if a certain digit appears, I have to go back from where I came and start over, choosing different numbers to look at this time and avoid certain number combinations. If I look at those "bad" numbers by mistake, I have a tendency to tighten my eyelids/skin around my eyes, which can result in me looking quite stupid.
Or just in general triple-quadruple checking everything I've done, which, in addition to my extremely high standards makes me kind of slow sometimes.

At one point I managed to break out from it for a while, but it somehow came back. Been going on for the almost 3 years I've worked.

When I was a NEET, it was way scaled down, because I was in a stress free environment.
Back then I didn't really know about OCD and what not, I just figured I was stupid or something.

>>8265
im the self-admitted lazy dude. I am 21 now and trying to finish a two-year college degree and then to try and spend some time in Japan or China doing TEFL (know a guy off the web who is doing that now and he tells me his experiences)

>>8452
there are various types of 'homelessness' from the old black bum in the hoood asking for some change and selling "loose squares" to young white gutter punks/street kids in portland hustling for "spange". some are better than others. Look up "voluntarily homeless"

>>8455
I had/have a speech impediment and that does not per se apply to me (though I was in debate team when younger - so I am probably different than the average.

I am just too incompetent to do much by myself. That is my disability.

I have wanted to move out and live alone for some time and start taking hormones once my parents have no way of finding me but then I started thinking...

What would I do once I got hungry without maids or my mom around? I can't cook or prepare food or even go buy it without suffering.

What would I do for a living? I am lazy, irresponsible and don't really have any talents.

How do people buy houses and etc. in the first place? How do they interact with the government and use it's services?

I just don't know many everyday things...

And to make matters worse my parents are forcing me to go to college now, it's horrible there and I have to communicate using a (Kaguya-covered) notebook due to shyness.

I wonder if there is an official name for this or if I literally have a moderate intellectual disability and need an aide or something...

>>8642
Thats a cool notebook. I wish I had your notebook man.

>>8642
I am where you are right now. I'm just a mentally crippled loser that has an inability to do much of anything. I think the only thing you listed there I actually can do is buy food and cook for myself but that's it. I don't think there really is a name for what we have. I can't exactly explain it either but it's a mental disability so bad it makes you unable to do most things. If someone taught me all of those things I wouldn't be able to learn them. I would probably forget how to do any of them by the next day. I'm as good for anyone as a living dead person.

I guess you could call it a morbid depression.

One that keeps spiraling downwards until I'm about to hit absolute zero and off myself.

But whenever I get close to that, I'm hit by an existential crisis which causes me to ponder
what would happen if I were to end it all.
An afterlife? Endless darkness? Just a sudden halt of time?


I end up backing down due to a mixture of fear and indecision.
After that I just go to bed. But I don't sleep; I just lie there, wallowing in self-pity.
This usually launches series of funky dreams after a couple of hours as I finally drift to sleep.

After spending a couple of days in bed without eating,
I just get up and supress the depression by more or less killing off whatever emotions I've still got left.

This merely cranks it down a bit, though, resulting in a medium-heavy depression in which I get stuck for some time.
Then it all goes on to a status quo where I do absolutely nothing productive at all for a week or so.

And then I start slowly climbing upwards by doing something that else than playing games and fapping.
After this I'm usually locked at -50 on a -200 to 200 scale for an extended period of time.

Then some fiction or other grabs my attention.
It usually kickstarts my heart again and I start feeling sad and happy for a change.

I start getting close to 0, and just before I'm finally at the top,
reality kicks in: "I'll never be able to experience any of this".
I get plunged back a at least -75, and so the spiraling starts anew.

This world sucks.

>>8680
I don't really want to go on anymore with my life either and sometimes my depression absolutely consumes me but I can't just kill myself for the reasons you can't and as I'm still here in this house weekends can be fun and some small other things like the pleasures of drugs and my music collection keep me alive. I don't want to age anymore because seeing that happen to myself will only bring me further down.

None.

I'm intelligent, have social skills and, pardon my pretentiousness, but I'm very handsome. Girls stop me in the street and stuff.

But, I happen to lack something essencial to be able to work. I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one here...