That sounds like an incredibly untrustworthy school, and unless the work you're doing is legal they could screw you over and there would be nothing you can do about it.

Find out what the tuition costs just to make sure you are not paying more then others, other then that I think you are doing good. You are sore now, but you will get faster and faster and will be less sore over time, eventually it will take you an hour too.

Anyways keep at it I say. Even if it is a scam of sorts (I doubt it) at least you doing something different, and will at least get a little spending money after febuary. IMO this is your big break, an easy job thrown in your lap, that only takes 9 hours a week(with fairly good pay). All you gotta worry about is the drama, but you said you enjoyed it so no worries.


/do it

>>7495
If OP is really worried about this he could sign some sort of contract, (1 copy for him, 1 for you), that says something about exchange for work, in exchange for teaching or something, but really as long as he actually shows up every week he will be getting his monies worth, and if he does something tricky like not giving a 'diploma,' he will have a whole class of witnesses and someone will probably see him mopping, there is some evidense right there.

OP here

>>7495
Thank you for answering, that is not my concern.
The day I started working (yesterday) i felt like I was getting cheated because I did not know any details but was just told to "do it", but after that, he told me about all his calculations and that by doing (x) hours I will be done by (month), it made sense. I know the prices and then I made my own calculations at home and they were right. He told me that I can even do 2 hours a week for more time or more hours etc.

>>7498
Thank you too for answering. Maybe I'll give him the idea of making a contract but the way I see it this is not official, e.g. I'm getting the net pay directly from his hands (in reality it's escalated from the amount of money I should give him for the course)

I spend too much time thinking stuff and I get things the wrong way. I went tonight and had a good time. I'm really really shy but I could show myself shoe-less and with only a t-shirt and trousers to others, although I couldn't speak to my "classmates" when we were leaving. I'd be surprised if they knew my name.
Right now I'm positive about this, I'll go tomorrow morning and see how things go.

I really don't see a problem here.

I'd just grin and bear it, if you enjoy the course then you may as well struggle for a few hours a day to maintain it.

Not going to lie that sounds pretty amazing

So your working a few hours a week and in exchange your getting education?


Sounds pretty good

>>7510
But he doesn't get any money until feburary and its sort of hard to find a job as an actor if im not mistaken..

>>7540

Hes a shut in

I don't think job is really his priority, this whole thing looks like he did it for the hell of it.

Hell if anything this looks like it'll turn into a great book/movie!

"A young shut in who is disregarded by the world around him takes a kind mans gift of education for some labor. With this he is able to become successful!'

Or something..

Hm

Keep up updated OP

>>7506
At the time I wrote the OP I was troubled (not that I'm not now) and wanted help from people like me, which is why I posted here. I don't post much here so I don't know if this thread is appropriate, please forgive me.

>>7510
Yes, this sums it.

>>7540
The instructor could tell me in February: "OK, you've paid what you owe me, now just come here for the course." or he could tell me to work more hours, hire me for real and as an associate, like I'd go around promoting the school or more tasks.

Yesterday I went there to work. I arrived 20 minutes earlier and didn't want to wait outside of the closed gate of the school, as there are workshops where people work and I didn't want to be seen by them... maybe they would have thought that I am a thief, I don't know. So I waited at the bus stop watching for cars going in the direction of the place. Turns out he was late 15 minutes, no big deal I say.

I was done with the rooms cleaning in about one hour and a half, (there was music playing, it didn't feel as bad as the first time), then we took a tea and chatted a bit.
He handed me a laptop asking if I could use a computer (I found this funny), then I spent the rest of the time doing a research which was just Googling names and copy pasting the results to a gedit window.

All in all I find that he doesn't have any real *Task* to give me, so he just let me do whatever is needed (e.g cleaning the flors), and who knows which tasks I'll have to do when I'm done.


To be honest, I enjoy the courses although I think that I would be happier staying at home in front of the computer, however "WRONG" and "I should go out more" it is, I don't want to.

Also I have not heard about these courses giving a "degree" or "certificate" or something, but it's possible. Even without them the "actor career" would be still possible with this experience behind.

More importantly, for the first year nothing is really *done*, as we don't have any real result to show off on a stage, in the next years we'll do a real play, as we are loaded enough with stuff that if we had to learn the parts of a play it would be too much stuff.

Just a thought: I don't know if any of you have had this experience, but when we did some little improvisation, it was very nice to be doing and saying whatever I wanted without my actions have a real weight because "it was just an act".

>>7545
If you don't mind doing the work in exchange for the courses, it doesn't sound too bad. But you should understand what your goals are exactly. Do you want to go into acting as a career, and do you think you have talent in that area?

Acting is one of those fields where getting work is all about knowing people and having the right connections, so consider that too. I don't want to dissuade you from doing this if you really want it, but it does sound like the school hasn't been on the up-and-up with you, and there's no reason at all for you to feel pressured to do anything they ask you to do.

>>7545
your teacher uses linux!? neato.

>>7550
I noticed that as well (the mention of gedit). I don't know where the OP is actually from, but maybe his country is more keen on desktop/average user usage of GNU/Linux than my own (the US). It's cool to hear that it's getting used at least.

Can't hurt to stick with it for a while.

http://tohno-chan.com/so/res/7494.html

>>7548
Yeah, not even I know that.
I have never thought about acting as my future, less than ever in the recent times. I know it's dumb.
Someone else got it right, I'm just doing this for the hell of it. If I knew that it would have turned up like this, then I would have thrown away the flyer.

I kind of feel like I got dragged into this, maybe part of that is my inability to say "no".

>>7550
>>7556
Right, however it was a rare occurrence that we're both computer people and not someone who doesn't even know that there are alternatives to Windows.

>>7556
I live in the US, ive talked to artists and shit who used Linux. As in people in art galleries from other countries.

>>7611
this is ignoring some of my professors (chem and environmental science) who used linux or knew or it as well as the comp nerds.

Today I was supposed to go at the school to work. Instead, I chose to stay in bed all morning.

I was really struggling between the "What will I do the next time we'll see" and the "Fuck the consequences" thoughts, while the image of myself leaving home and having to do all the stuff I've done 5 times already made me sick.

In the end I set my cellphone on "silent" and then I let my cellphone slide on the floor far away from the bed, in case I wanted to check the time to see if I was still on time or someone called. Then I slept.

I had a lucid dream of myself waking up and seeing "You have 19 new text messages" on the cellphone, all from the teacher, two were real messages but all the others were images from an anime, one of which was the one in the OP here. And a lot of other dreams. I remember to have had more dreams in 3 hours today that in all the past month combined.

Anyway, when I woken up for real, I found out that there wasn't any missed call or text messages on my phone. I think that's weird. Now I'm expecting to get a call at anytime and am nervous about it. Even if I don't get one, I don't know what to do next Monday when I will have to go there.

I don't want to do anything anymore, I literally spend my days doing nothing. I feel so weak and absolutely the most useless person in the world. I can not face any of my problems and I thought this experience would help me but I feel even worse now. I want to die but fear the pain that would come e.g. from jumping out of the window. I wish I could die in any way that would not make me realize it such as in sleep, or better to be crushed or cut in pieces so that I would completely disappear in an instant.

>>7675
I know exactly how you feel, this happened to me a lot when I first began to work
When this happened I used to lie, like pretending I was sick. It's easier to lie but it can also bring up more problems. When I did it I couldn't stop wondering if my boss knew I lied or stuff like that; so I would not recommend you to lie.
Your manager seems like a nice guy so you should try to be honest with him. Simply tell him that you felt too depressed/tired to come. You'll feel much better after that.

(sorry I'm very tired so my English might be kind of bad)

OP maybe he is trying to see if you are gonna do anything and everything to pay of your debt. What if he wants to have sex?

>>7678
>What if he wants to have sex?

When this thread first began, I thought that OP was going to post about how the guy had sexually harassed him or asked him for sexual favors.

OP here, sorry for posting again, now I think that I shouldn't even have posted this thread, but I think it's ok to give an ending to this story, in case anyone cares.


I skipped another working day after my last post in here and I have decided that I won't be going anymore. Neither I or the teacher tried to get in touch with the other, until the day I was supposed to have lesson.

I knew that if I hadn't done anything, he would have probably made everyone wait and would have called me, so I felt forced to do something. I called some time before the lesson and I tried to explain why I didn't go the past mornings, I said not to wait for me that evening and that I was thinking about not going there anymore.
but soon I started to falter and found myself not to be able to speak anymore.

I ended up asking him if he was busy and if I could go there to speak in person.

I left home after 4 days and we talked for more than one hour. He said that he expected this from me and he wouldn't have proposed me this job if I had been another person, "he saw behind my mask", he tried to make me change my mind.

He told me that he had talked with his wife and that he had said her, referring to the very first time me and him met, that "he met someone 'special' (I don't know how to say this) and he really wishes that this guy joins", that he wants to help me, that he understands this is very hard for me and that he knows that the week during which I worked there and I went to the courses was an event out of the ordinary.

What impressed me the most was that him said he could see "something in me", something which said "I don't want to live" or "I don't care if I live or not", when I never talked about anything like this with him, like if him had read my last post on here.
And I tried my best to be as normal as I could.

Well, in the end he told me that I could choose between trying again and again at going there until I would be able to make it and "grow up" (with the meaning I used in this thread) or surrender, knowing that sooner or later I would find myself in the same situation again and it will only be worse. I chose to surrender.
I will do anything to prevent all this from happening again, I failed again and even in the best possible situation I only ended up getting worse.


Yeah... not my personal blog and everything. Again, I'm really sorry. Just wanted to give this thread and its story an ending.

I think this teachers attempt to 'help' you is very misguided. He's putting you in a very unconventional situation with alot of pressure on you, even more than a normal student who simply pays to get in. A nervous a shy person really can't be expected to excel in such a situation, and by making you look like a failure for declining his offer it probably makes you feel even worse about yourself. It's like he has some sort of hero complex.

>>7757
Yeah I know that in these posts it looks like I consider him to be a deity or a hero who came on Earth to save me but it's not like that.

Though that's true that an occasion like this is more unique than rare and that "coming here will make you better" makes sense to me. Still I don't think he demanded too much from me.

>>7759
i mean that he considers himself a hero. maybe he can see what problems you have, but it really doesn't sound like he knows how to help you despite giving you this 'opportunity'. making you feel bad for giving it up is a pretty dickish thing to do

Don't worry, OP. I would've given up, too.

If anything, please try to not feel bad about quitting OP.
I think humans will always chose the way of least resistance to feeling "good".

-Doing something you just can't get into for the sake of not feeling useless doesn't sound efficient.
-Doing something you actually feel doing is useful (->feeling useful) would sound somewhat promissing though.
-Learning something you enjoy also works; finding something like that can be a bother and it's fair game to just not. Props for trying that acting stuff though, really.

If you are not satisfied with something try breaking it down to its smallest components; Lazing around all day in itself isn't bad. I know it feels good.
All I do is related to dealing with obstacles to that, or things I learned to cherish on the way.
Some things I do personally:
-learning japanese
(porn/experience feelings japanese media invoke in me -> feeling good)
-asking myself philosophical questions
(knowing myself better -> feeling secure -> feeling good)
-posting things on the internet I think could be interesting/helpful to others
(feeling valuable/helpful -> feeling good)
-trying to be right about stupid shit
(feeling good)
-winning games
(feeling good)
-doing some other things to not get thrown out
(basic needs of survival; beeing at an agreement with people I care about -> feeling good)

I went through a couple of activities or lack of such, and can't say I was a lot more or less happy in most cases. (unless they involved doing a lot of useless shit)

I want OP to elaborate more on how exacly he made the transition from being a hikikomori of 6-7 years, to going to an art school.

What did OP's mother say about all of this? How did she respond when OP suddenly said he wanted to go to an art school suddenly after 6-7 years of hikikomori?

I think this transition is one of the main hurdles for me. If that leaflet had come through my door, I would have been too scared to mention it to my mother or do anything about it.

In fact, I have a number of job advertisments saved on my computer that I have looked at, fantasized about doing, but then been too scared to do anything about. Unable to think of how to make the transition.

So if OP is still reading, can you elaborate on what mental processes you went through that made you act upon this art school leaflet? And how did your mother respond to your sudden change of personality?

>>7790

I'm pretty sure no one's parents would object to them wanting to get education after being NEET for years.

>>7790
>I want OP to elaborate more on how exacly he made the transition from being a hikikomori of 6-7 years, to going to an art school.
People (family) tells me to "go out and meet other people".
For as much as I don't want to, sooner or later I will be forced to. The problem is that I don't have any links, since I don't go to the school/clubs/work etc. I have a old school friend, who I saw last at january/february 2011 when he invited me to go with his new friends to a pub. I thought that I can't keep living like this forever. When I saw the ad in the mailbox, I thought this could have been a chance.
So I just did it, in the way others tells me to "just do it without thinking too much".
I am against this way of thinking and usually wouldn't do anything without much planning and thinking of the consequences (ending up in doing nothing).

At that time I was genuinely interested in a music course. Actually I like to do a lot of things but instead I end up wasting my time.

I'll be honest and say that I just wanted to do the free trial. At that time I didn't think of what would have happened next and how I would have found an excuse for such a greedy behavior.
Of course I knew the price of the courses would have been very high, and even if I could afford it, I don't want to spend the few money I have.

I sent an e-mail explaining my interest and I got an appointment for later that day.
When I was there I found an interesting person, I was excited about being there, talking with someone, in the same way I felt when I used to see the psychologist.
We talked about my interests, but not only that. We also chatted about various things.
We didn't speak about prices until the end. I kept a straight face and didn't do any comment.
During all of this I tried to be as normal as I could, of course I didn't mention any weird stuff, yet he later said that this first meeting we had was a very special moment.

Likewise, I think that I have been pulled into this story, this may be because I don't care about myself, I sometimes follow other's directions mindlessly, to not cause any displeasure.

The most common thought I had in that period was "What am I doing here?".

Sorry if I didn't answer your question. I don't know why I did that and if I could go back in time I would never do it.

>What did OP's mother say about all of this? How did she respond when OP suddenly said he wanted to go to an art school suddenly after 6-7 years of hikikomori?
I think my mother was excited, we don't talk much, sometimes we eat dinner together but most of the time she takes the dinner to me and I consume it in front of the pc.
I'm not sure about this but I believe that she just thinks of me that I am a bit shy and nothing more.
Before I quit going to the school I was so desperate that I looked for her help, I asked her "what should I do?". Which was nearly as hard as calling the instructor and telling him that I wouldn't go any more. Of course my mother didn't understand and she just told me to do what I felt was right.

As for telling her that I wanted to go at that school I just showed her the paper and told her that I wanted to see what that was about and maybe do the free trial.
When I had to go there and work I was not clear and gave confused answers as I didn't want her to know that. Not even now I'm sure whether she knows that I worked there for that one week.
She ever asked me precise questions, and when she asked "how was it?" I replied "it was okay". This would have been our most complex conversation.


>In fact, I have a number of job advertisments saved on my computer that I have looked at, fantasized about doing, but then been too scared to do anything about. Unable to think of how to make the transition.
In the past I have also looked at various job advertisments and found some interesting but I knew that I would never call or do any moves to make that happen.

>>7786
I do like to do a great number of things, or maybe it's that I don't dislike anything that comes up, but I lose interest quickly.
I have the knowledge, the tools and the skill to do a lot of cool stuff and I know it, but when I actually start doing them I get tired, that may be because I don't have a goal or expectations.
I tried to have various blogs or to make posts in places where I would spread some of my knowledge but I was really scared of others reading what I wrote and this caused me to delete some of them, then I thought that no one would be interested to read anything written by me and this caused the deletion of the others, or rather caused them to never be born. I don't know if this makes sense.

I feel very bad when reading a message I wrote. Like, I have to move away my eyes from the text and I become agitated. However this doesn't happen when I'm writing in English, as I was able to write all this.
When I think about my memories after a week or so it's like those happened to someone else. I have some very shameful memories that I can't think about or I become all nervous, but some events happened fairly recently which are even worse to those memories but I don't feel particularly touched by them.

I like to play games competitively and have always tried to be the best if I'm playing with people I know. Usually I can do it and I win. More often than not I read guides and read users discussions etc, but I don't write any or partecipate in such discussions. Winning may be the only time I have a very good feeling. Of course all of this refers to computer games.

Listening to music is very important to me. Sometimes I go on a research to find new artists and genres to listen. I'm always listening to music whenever I don't need to hear people talk, wherever I am.

I feel good if I do a post somewhere and someone else reads it and considers it, just even saying that he read it or a "thank you". Meanwhile I don't feel like quoting others without having much to say... for example >>7764 I was happy to read this but between writing this and not writing anything it is easier to ignore it.
Most of the time I either do things in the most perfect way I find or don't do them.

sorry for the wall

It's funny how things stick on this board. You would think this would be gone, but other threads have been deleted and this one is just bumped enough to stay long enough. I remember when this was first posted and I remember seeing it get replies. It wasn't anything remarkable, but it was something. And it will stay that way until it's gone. Like most of us here, I think. None of us are great, but at least we're here and we're something. If you're browsing back here or got to here from recent posts, as long as you're here I just want to let you know I think you're a somebody worth noting. Have a nice day, all the way up to the moment you're gone.

>>11558
I really wanted to have endless pages with threads that never died, but people didn't like that and we got the archive, which seems kinda redundant I think, I mean the threads are still there, you just can't post in them, wouldn't be much different if we had threads auto lock after reaching a certain cutoff page, but whatever.