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No. 7331
[Edit]
I've been depressed pretty much my entire adult life, but the last winter and well, it seems like, this upcoming too, are going to be really tough.
I live in Finland and I've been working (yeah, work, not a complete hikikomori, somehow managed to land a job after 3 years of isolation, don't ask me how) at the nightshift for quite some time now. Pretty much always when I'm awake it's pitch black outside. When I go to work, when I'm at work, sometimes I go to a gas station nearby to eat and additional to the complete darkness there isn't anyone anywhere, couple of truck drivers or so at the station.
And finally when I come home from work, it's still dark, just staring out to blank darkness through the window on the train.
If I sleep very badly I might wake up during the day and see the light of day, but even then, sun is covered by clouds pretty much always.
I guess I should do what every other finn does and get wasted three times a week. Too bad I really dislike being drunk and never really acquired the taste for alcohol.
But, for now, good thing I'm too much of a wuss to cut my wrists.
I guess my solution is to guide the negative feelings to anger instead of sadness, somehow keeps me going with a "fuck you"-attitude.
Medication only makes tired and extremely apathetic. Exercise makes me feel good for a while, but then I know I'm going to crash down even harder, so it's just better to keep an even flow going.
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