Try to say crazy things and you won't get on the jury

>>6688
Well, I'd like to avoid contempt of court if at all possible, but I wonder if I could bring up jury nullification or make a big deal of any mention of Haruhi (if they do that) in the juror's oath and get dismissed.

>>6689
I don't think they do much g0d related stuff in courts anymore.

I've been summoned for it twice. I got out of it the first time by telling them I was a worthless Neet without a license, which caused them to postpone it a year. The next time I tried the same shit, and they told me they didn't care It's my responsibility as a citizen. Then like a week before they interview I called them for instructions, and they said I wasn't needed. So the second time was pure luck I guess. I know this isn't much help, but if you call them you might be able to get it postponed at least.

Plead the fifth.

I got a summence thing something like two years ago.
Damn did it suck, I was working at the time, but had no car, and it was due to take place some 60 miles away, and my mom had to work that day, I feel I had a very legitimate excuse for not going, I mean, they don't provide transportation or anything.
I tried calling the number on the paper they sent to get out of it, they said to call back latter, so I did, every day, over and over, at least once every two hours, and nothing.

so both me and my mom had to call off work, so she could drive me there.
and when we get there, we find out most other people there had the same experience, perfectly legitimate reasons to not attend, but still forced to go, less they face legal charges.
obviously, all that crap on the form they sent about eligibility to be excused and so on, was all just bullshit.
and it turns out they didn't even need us, case called off or something, I dunno, was a complete waste of time.

The whole thing is stupid if you ask me.
how can you expect to get a fair trail when the jury is made up of people who don't want to be there? people that just want to end the damn thing as soon as they can so they can get on with their lives? people that might not give a crap about the justice system and who will all just say 'guilty' because they're pissed and want to go home.
I know they're supposed to be impartial to the case, randomly selected people, and that, if there was a system for volunteering, the people who do so might have some vendetta, or crazy sense of justice they want to uphold by locking everyone away.
It just seems like a bad idea.

My friend just did jury duty; it's 95% sitting and listening. The only time you'll actually have to say anything is when the jury goes behind closed doors to discuss the verdict. Even then, you'll only have to say "I agree" or something; no one will care, since they don't want to be there any more than you.

Truly is a great part of a democracy when the fate of a person is in the hands of twelve people who are forced into a room by people with no respect for their lives, then forced to listen to assholes tell you lies on both sides for days on end.

Juries should be paid however much money they WOULD have made had they not been forced into something that is ultimately nothing better than a horrible, horrible inconvenience.

I've been summoned three times, but never served. I asked to be excused each time citing crippling social anxiety/no car/no one to drive me to another city, and each time the court clerk was merciful enough to excuse me.

By comparing notes with more 'functional' members of society it seems that, at least in this state (WA), it's quite easy to be excused from jury duty, provided one promptly mails in a polite and reasonable request.

Never had to fill out questionnaires or surveys--those sound horrible, OP!

I had jury duty once.

For the love of Haruhi. bring something to do. A laptop, DS, book, alcohol, something. You will be there a very long time. You are totally screwed if you end up assigned to a potential jury. Then you have to be interviewed, and wait; then, wait some more.

Kid pleaded out because his lawyers didn't like the jury pool. I would have voted not-guilty as I do not care if he sold Ritalin to others. Illegal or not, I care not.

Good news is that I got $30 a day. Bad news is I was there about ten hours one of those days.

easy way to get out of jury duty:
tell them you're prejudiced/racist & thus can't make objective decisions about a case
works every time & they'll want nothing to do with you

>>6703
Somehow I think the judges have heard of that trick already. You'd probably get fined for perjury or contempt of court or something. But I guess you would wind up getting out of jury duty, too.

Pour some water on your lap, and on your shirt a little, before you go in.
keep your hands limp and near your chest at all times.
Bite down on half your lip whenever you're not talking, when talking, try to slur your words and stutter.

oh and be sure to let them know at every chance that you like cereal, yell it if they won't shut up.

>>6704
Stating you cannot be fair or impartial on a case seems like a reasonable excuse to evade jury duty. I have no idea how it would be contempt of court.

Just say you hate black people and that if a guy's black he's most absolutely guilty.

Not like it's a lie anyways.

See, I bet some of you felt disdain from reading that, he'd get cleared in an instant

Well, it seems like today's the day they're calling me in for jury duty. I couldn't sleep too well, but in a couple hours here I need to head out. Hopefully this exercise in navigating through unfamiliar territory and social interaction will be an enlightening experience; I'm trying not to worry too much, but who knows how that'll go? Wish me luck, guys.

>>7070
Good luck!

I was released from jury duty relatively recently. I just yelled and screamed about the establishment when I was asked questions, dressed in teh most antisocial manner I could and said the most racist fucked up things I could think of when I was asked whether or not I would discriminate against others.

I got out of it quick.

>>7073
Noice.

>>7071
Thanks.

And I guess it wasn't so bad. The only real hiccup I had was my phone screwing up as I was leaving the fast food place where I grabbed breakfast (oh, Virgin Mobile's Android special), but I got it sorted out and found my way to the courthouse with the GPS.

Really it was mostly just boring. They had us all go into a room, wait for a while, herded us into a courtroom, and chose some of us to question as potential jurors while the rest of us had to sit there the whole time. I was lucky and didn't get picked for questioning. At least I get a bit of money out of it.

We'll see how it goes later this month, since I guess I'm on call for the whole month of September really.

Well, what do you know? I just called in to check my juror status last night, and I guess they don't need me any more. One less thing to worry about at least.