20 years old. I've felt like an old man my entire life, and my relatives have reinforced this upon me. Nothing spectacular happens in my life, I just keep on, no matter how much I wish to kill myself. Just 10 more years to go.

Just turned 23 last week. Last 5 years just feel like they haven't really existed. I just go back and forth to work, eat same shit every day and browse youtube.
I also noticed that I'm starting to go bald, awesome.

I'm 19 and-a-half, though I feel like I'm 18. I'm quite young at heart, and the only thing keeping me from forgetting I'm legally an adult is that I'm in college.

Turned 20 few days ago. I actually forgot but when I checked the calendar (which doesn't happen very often mind you) I remembered.

I'm not sure whether I ever had any deadline (age-wise). If I did, I began by setting it at 18, then 20. But I wasn't serious about this. 30 has always been realistic. By the time one turns 30 his body begins to deteriorate and since I can almost feel like my flesh is rotting at 20...

Emotionally I'm 16 tops. I've written about it in another thread.

>>5281

>I also noticed that I'm starting to go bald, awesome.

Pulled my first gray hair when I was 17, balding since I turned 18. It doesn't look so bad yet but it's becoming visible slowly. Remind me of how much I hate this piece of shit body.

1. Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?

No, no deadlines beyond medium term ones which last for about a year. I should though. You lose track of time easily. Years can go by and suddenly its impossible to do the things you wanted to.

2. Is your life somehow just staring or you're already just collecting the pieces?

I don't get it.

3. How old you really are?

I'm 18.


4. How old do you think/feel you are?

In terms of being responsible, I haven't really changed my capacity to be responsible since I was 17 and still in high school.

>>5278
I'm turning 23 in a couple of months.
I've never really put a deadline on anything but after failing university/college for the millionth time I'm starting to think I'm getting to old to try again.
Starting college when you're 23 when everyone is 18 is really awkward.
And to make things worse is that reading K-on (something that normally cheers me up) is putting me down even further. Seeing them succeed where I keep failing is motivating and depressing at the same time.

I'm about to turn 26

>Is your life somehow just staring or you're already just collecting the pieces?
I feel like I'm DONE. I always used to picture a time when I was old and I could just relax and do whatever I wanted, and I would finally get around to playing Metal Gear Solid 2 or whatever. Then I realised that time is now. I dont give a fuck about living below the poverty line, as long as I can pay rent and buy some food its enough for me. So I guess my life is pretty much over.

so I guess I feel old. people would probably say that I act old.

>I reached the number rockstars used to get stiff at
I feel u bro. Also I noticed that all the sports players I liked as a kid have come to the end of their careers. I remember watching a young Harry Kewell scoring against Iran during a fateful World Cup qualifier in 1997, now he cant even play a full match. The only NBA player I recognize is Shaq.

I feel like i've lived forever.

Enough already.

>>5296

>The only NBA player I recognize is Shaq.

There are still lots of grandpas in NBA. Jason Kidd (finally got his first ring, I was really happy for him), Grant Hill, Kurt Thomas and Juwan Howard are all 38 IIRC. Both Kidd and Hill (Co-rookies of 1994 season, funny story if you think about it) stated they wish to play at least 2 more years.

Shaq retired already, tho. Should've done so 2 years ago, it was painful to watch him play like he did lately.

>>5297

Haha, I know that feeling all to well.

>>5290
>I don't get it.

Have you got any hopes/expectations for your future? or you feel like it's late for everything/done already, and you're just killing time before it ends?

I just turned 20 and I wish I had the guts to just kill myself already. I definitely don't want to live past 25 since I've already given up on doing much of anything with myself, but I'll most likely never do anything to stop it and get there in this sad, pathetic state that I'll never get out of.

I don't see the point in living past your physical peak. I feel sickly enough as it is and I should be at the peak of my health, I can't imagine how much worse it would get as I age. I live a very healthy lifestyle as well, with an even healthier diet. I still suffer from horrible allergies all through the year, I have hardly any energy for the day, and I'm not very smart either.
>Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?
I don't see the point in living past my late 20's, but I'll probably be too scared to off myself even then. Not really a deadline though, just a point where I'll feel horrible.
>Is your life somehow just starting or you're already just collecting the pieces?
It's a bit of both, I haven't started on the best foot forward. I took two years off after highschool where I didn't work, and am just now hoping to get into university this coming semester. The one and a half friends I had in my teenage years just stopped visiting or calling one day and I've never seen them since.
>How old you really are?
20
>How old do you think/feel you are?
20.

It's funny you post this, as my birthday is actually tomorrow ;_;

>>5281

>last week

>>5289

>few days ago

>>5296

>about to [that's rather vague, but still]

>>5300

>just turned

>>5303

>tomorrow

Sure is June in here!

>Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?

I've always told myself I'd kill myself when I get bored of life, these days I've lost interest in things, but not necessarily bored, I might just ragequit life though since recently all I can feel is anger even when doing things I used to enjoy. I find it difficult to watch many anime now as they make me rage for some reason unknown to me. It pretty much holds true towards any depiction of people having friends and such, maybe jealousy or brings up my shitty life which makes me rage.

>Is your life somehow just starting or you're already just collecting the pieces?

Just spiraling out of control. Feels like I've just given up on being successful and I'm wanting an easy way out that isn't coming.

>How old you really are?

18, almost 19.

>How old do you think/feel you are?

I don't know, not really sure how mentally old I am. Never really learned to judge such a thing.

This thread has made me realise how young some of the people here actually are. I've always imagined you guys to be in your twenties, not just starting.
I might only be 23 but I feel jealous of you guys. 3 years make a huge difference. To put it into perspective, it's the amount of time most people need to get a bachelor's degree.

>>5307

>This thread has made me realise how young some of the people here actually are.

Same here. I mean I'm 20 but I always thought that I'm among the youngest folks around here and expected the average to be at around ~24.

<Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?

No. I just try to do what I can with the morals I believe in.

<Is your life somehow just do staring or you're already just collecting the pieces?

I've limited my materialism, I so stare a lot, but I also try to do theoretical science.

<How old you really are?

22

<How old do you think/feel you are?

Socially 14, Wisedomly infinity, physically 22.

I had just turned 18 a while before starting to browse Tohno-chan, which wasn't a long time ago, so I'm still the same age. The funny thing is, before I was a legal adult, I always thought I felt adult already. Now that I am one, I feel like I'm not an adult at all.

No deadline. In fact, I've sworn to live forever. It's more of an joke, but I will fight the grimreaper for each second on my dying bed.

>>5321

You're the same as me. I'm 20 at the moment and I feel like I'm just some kid who doesn't know anything about the world. And I also have told myself that I would never die. I like to think that when the time of my death finally arrives, I'll just ignore it and not bother dying.

Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?

No. I don't even have any goals. The older I get, the more it seems like I don't even know what I want out of life.

Is your life somehow just staring or you're already just collecting the pieces?

I'm stable, but stagnant; so I guess I'm in between.

How old you really are?

28.

How old do you think/feel you are?

Hard to say. Maybe high school or college age.

I would've thought most of us were 22.

  10 years you say? I don't really know my birthyear, I think I'm either 20, 21 or 22 though. On papers I always put 1990 as my year of birth. My life is most likely going nowhere. If I somehow get enough to apply to university, I would still have to keep a job(Almost certainly an extra one) to pay for myself while I earn my degree, and even then there's no guarantee I would get a job after that. My only deadline will be up when I can not justify my existence anymore. I don't know how old I feel.

I'm 18. I feel older, early twenties maybe. I look old (21-22) and people tend to think I'm smarter than I should be (I read a lot and know many things about culture most people don't). I have no deadline. I feel like I still lots of things to do, like learning foreign languages, martial arts, etc, however somehow I feel like I'm starting to die already. I don't know, I just think that my body is breaking from the inside.

>>5325
How can you not know your birth year?

>Do you keep some sort of deadline, to yourselves?

I used to, but I strayed so far from it, I just sort of gave up. I still plan to kill myself at around 40 even in an ideal situation, dunno if I'll even make it that far.

>Is your life somehow just staring or you're already just collecting the pieces?

Both, my life already has been completely rendered asunder, but all the same I've yet to really give it a go.

>How old you really are?

Is it strange that I really had to scramble to remember? 21.

>How old do you think/feel you are?

I sometimes think I haven't aged a day since my freshmen year at high school. I FEEL like a middle aged man, hell my body is certainly acting like I am.

>>5327
>I feel older... I look old

My case was partially the opposite: until recent times, people always said I looked considerably younger than I really was. A professor in college once saw a photo from when I was 13yo, and believed it was contemporary; another time from those days, when a guy was asked about my body type, he simply said: "That of a kid."; even when I was around 24, some people still guessed I was like 15yo, when I was introduced to them. But, at the same time, when I was indeed a kid and because I was allegedly too serious for my age, people used to say that I was "Like a little adult" ...

Not anymore, of course, since I became a fucking failed old bastard. Neither they say I look that young, rather because I started losing shape (again) and leting myself grow a stub, or because I usually don't show myself outside nowdays and only talk to about 3 people outside my family.

Anyway, all this (say) Neoteny affair had, of course, its own advantages and inconveniences. By all means, to me, apparently is already over. If we live enough, we all reach the point of decadence, sooner or later; like Picasso said about the portrait of Gertrude Stein, when her family complained it didn't look like her at all: "In a few years, she will look like the portrait" ...unintended joke about the Portrait of Dorian Grey? who knows.

Post edited on 14th Jun 2011, 9:55pm

I'm 24. Haven't done anything, so little as speak to anyone, in 10 years now. No friends or anything all this time, just me and the internet. I can't even speak to people in real life anymore, because I forgot how.

I also feel much younger than I am, but then I don't. Hard to explain. My life should have started long ago, but it hasn't. It's been stagnant. The world and every other human on it has grown and changed except me (us). It's far too late to do anything, I think.

The future is real bleak.

When I was a teenager, I felt like an adult since I was at that phase where I thought I was more mature than the others.

Now it's the opposite. I'm 19, but I feel more like I'm 17.

The only deadline I've set for myself right now is to have a job and be living on my own by the time I'm 21. I'm making terrible progress on that.

>>5349
>Hope I die before I get old.
Why? When you're an old bastard, people expect you to do nothing at all, all day every day. When you get old, you finally "deserve" to live like most brohnos do right now...

That said, I'm looking forward to being at least 60 years old.

Post edited on 15th Jun 2011, 8:16am

I'm 22, I have the maturity of a 12 year old, my body feels like it's 42, and I apparently look like I'm 18~20 to people.

Well it's my 21st birthday today, and my sister is already on my ass about how weird it is that I don't want to go to some bar with her.

>>5383
Go to the bar, make her get so drunk she passes out, then leave her there.

It's happy birthday for everyone

>>5383
Happy Birthday! Fuck the bar, just tell her to buy some beer at a store and be done with it, especially that it's much cheaper, and if you get shit-faced you can't get arrested for public intoxication since you're not in public.

>>5384
oh ho ... actually that's mean.

>>5383
Is she that ugly/annoying or did she expect you to meet other pople there?
because, if not, it couldn't be all that bad (for my fetish at least).

>>5388
Son are you saying that you're into 3D?

>>5388
You 3D-loving heretic.

>>5389
lol no, relax. as I said: it's just a fetish; I just can't let pass a single chance of fantasizing about incest.

anyone with an incest fetish doesnt have a real sister
if you do have a sister thats even worse

>>5392

anyone with an oedipus complex doesnt have a real mother
if you do have a mother thats even worse

Interestingly enough Freud was raised by a wet nurse.

>>5389
>>5390

>>5392
I do have a rather ugly unbearable sister I live with and rarely talk to; but that has nothing to do with this; if you let reality interfere with your bussines, not just incest but everything goes right down the drain...

>>5395
Easy, please.

Post edited on 15th Jun 2011, 2:21pm

>>5396
Words to live by, fuck reality.

>>5392
Unrelated to original topic, but you can still have an incest fetish even if you have a sister because you suspend disbelief about the reality of that fetish. Someone on old tc explained it, comparing it to how maids in real life are all old Eastern European women who'd sue you if you tried to touch them, but that doesn't stop people having maid fetishes..

>>5383
Atleast you talk to your sister. I pretty much used mine as an outlet for my pre-teen/teen aggressions and then she had to move in with my dad (parents divorced) because of it. Haven't really talked since, except for "hi" when she came to pick something up from my mom's.
I want to say I'm sorry, but that'd just make me seem even bigger of a douche, like I'm doing it just so I'd feel better.

Oh boy did I go off the track here.

>>5367
Waiting 70 years to get to that point doesn't really excite me.

I was always assumed to be in my 20s, from the time I was around 12... Now that I'm 19 though, I'm surprised that people say things like "oh, you're like 20 right?"

I always thought I would be dead or pregnant or something but I'm still the same virgin antisocial loser. I might as well live until I die at this point. I give up.

Surprising to see how young everyone is.

20 and half

I'm terrified of getting old, like, just 30+ is a big nono for me. I don't want to live past 30 or 40. Even better, I hope I die in some heroic way, like saving a little girl from a car or getting shot while protecting some cute woman.

If I get old, I'll look behind me and see all those wasted years, all the things that I never experienced. Hell no.

I don't want to live past my prime really. Some people manage to be quite healthy even when they're 60; if I turn out to be like that then good. When I get to the age where basic things become difficult, it's some for some buckshot aspirin. I do feel as though I haven't even started life yet. I'm 21 but haven't done... anything. I'd like to do so much, but I can't. Whether it's because my parents won't let me, or it's just something not available to me at the moment. Which is why I will be moving in a few months.

I'm a couple years shy of 30, and it's fucked thinking about that. For those old enough, and approaching thirty, what do you plan on doing after that, assuming you're still screwed up?

My plan has always been to basically sell everything I have for some money, get a plane ticket, backpack around some cool places for as long as I can (think Poppo from Ano Hana...he went all over South-East Asia, Africa, India and stuff), then find somewhere to commit suicide. In my opinion it would be pointless to live past 30 or 40 if you are socially inept and poor. It will only get worse.

Imagine being a 65 year old NEET living off the state? Cat food for dinner every night~

>>5522
Whats wrong with cat food?

Holy shit you guys are depressing as fuck.

I can't wait till the space age, when I have my own space ship and I can spend the next infinity traveling space alone with my hologram waifu(s). I am doing the best I can to make this a reality for all of us.

See you later space cowboy.

>>5524
I don't think that will happen within our life time, but that's some positive thinking.

>>5510
I've long held the plan to kill myself at 30. I can't imagine living much longer then that, as life is shitty enough already. Carrying on past that magical age is a scary thought.

>>5526

>I've long held the plan to kill myself at 30. I can't imagine living much longer then that,

But what about magic? Don't you want to use it, at least for a short while?

>>5530
Oh come now. If suddenly turning 30 really grants me magic powers, I wouldn't give a single shit about absolutely everything else, and my life would drastically and suddenly turn awesome.

>>5530
I'm looking forward to the day I get my magic powers. First thing I'll do is build a golem that looks and acts like my waifu.

>>5531
You also need to be a virgin, but you're on /so/ so that's probably not a problem.

>>5524
>(s)
What?

I don't like to think about time at all.

>I am doing the best I can to make this a reality for all of us.
That's great. Good luck!

28 now. I am realizing that there is nothing good ahead of me anymore. I wasted my life, and it wasnt even fun kind of waste.
Living is quite unbearable, but dying is such a bother... Sometimes I wish I hanged myself when I was 16 or so. That way I would have saved quite a lot of oxygen.

>>5535

>Sometimes I wish I hanged myself when I was 16 or so.

I always do. When I was 16 I was an arrogant little piece of shit thinking the whole world should bow to me just because I'm alive. I was prideful as fuck and always refused to change my opinion just because it would be convenient to do so, even if it eventually got me in trouble. When I realized I can't have things my way I decided I'd rather kill myself than accept this piece of shit world.

But I've been putting it off all the time and now I'm a floor shitting NEET. ... At least I watched a dozen of shows about cute girls doing cute things, right...?

>>5536
Yeah, if I was dead at 16, it would be "what a stupid mistake, he had so much more to life for". If I kill myself now, it would be "he lived like a shithead and died like a shithead, so screw him".

>>5538

Haha, so true, so true. Back then people who knew me would think it's a tragedy - 'he had such a bright future ahead of him', now I could see people saying 'wow, I knew this will happen sooner or later'.

>>5538
>>5539
Hell, I think that even goes for me, and people hated me back then.

What am I doing with my life? No, what am I waiting for? I really wish group suicide was popular in my country, I think something like that would make getting it out of the way much easier.

Such a shame it'd probably be full of people who back out and cause trouble for the rest of us though anyhow, if it were here.

>>5540
>what am I waiting for?

Story if my life.

>>5532
agreed, alchemy is the future

>>5533
The "s" is in brackets incase I want to be a polygamist, it pluralizes waifu, don't hate the polygamist, hate the [insert something that makes sense].

>>5550
polygamist

To the guys who are turning, or reaching, or worried about turning 30:

calm down

You are experiencing what is called a midlife crisis. Everyone has it at a certain point and everyone finds it difficult to deal with it. You won't wake up so fresh in the morning and your body will start making noises you never knew were possible, it is a change that you have to adapt to. Don't worry. It's not that bad. Really, it only starts becoming noticeable at around 50 or so. At 30 you learn your limits. Ask your parents how they felt when they were 30, and ask them how they felt when they turned 50.

I'm 25 myself, with a sibling that is 6 years older. My parents are in their 60s now.

My life started fine but I've managed to fuck everything up. I certainly feel older than 25 but I still have moments where I realize my gullibility and naivety. My life hasn't really moved since I dropped out of school. I am doing hard physical labor that I know I can't do forever. Once I quit this job I will have nowhere to go. I plan to off myself when I reach 30 if I haven't managed to change anything by then. I will go out with a bang.

Of the many things clouding my life right now, aging isn't one of them. Honestly worrying about it is pretty pointless. You'll grow old no matter what you try to do. Many people are denied that privilege. Just accept it and move on.

>>5562
Its not the age. Its the place that I reached in 30 years that bothers. Its all those lost opportunities. Its jelly to all the people who are so much more succesfull in life. Its understanding of own abilities, and in my case they are so low, I dont even feel like trying anymore.
I know that I can never become a space pilot or a surgeon, but that I learned when I was 20. Now I am learning that I cant become even just a normal everyday person.
Oh well. It cant be helped.

  We all grow old
Use your life
The world goes and flutters by
Use your life
You'll know you are...

Courageous boy, now you are gone...
Your spirit is grand, so life goes on.

>>5565
There will always be someone below you and someone above you. I don't even know you, but by the simple fact that you are here and able to post I can deduce that you live comfortably enough to afford an internet connection. This is something that some Americans still can't afford. The internet is still a strange concept to a large part of the world as well.

Most of the people who became doctors worked their asses off for years to reach that position, as did astronauts. If you were rejected after applying multiple times to medschool I'd understand, but what have you actually done to accomplish such a goal? Don't tell me that you couldn't accomplish your goals because your surroundings held you back. You know just as well as I do that is just shit you made up to make yourself feel better for not trying and not applying yourself. You constantly hear those rags to riches stories on tv and on the internet and on the radio about people who had nothing made something out of their lives. You can do that shit too, even now. You just have to sacrifice everything and try and try and try until you are within an inch of dying off from exhaustion.

Sorry that I'm coming off as extremely aggressive, but that's life. I know that I fucked up. I live with that fact every day and I try to accept it and move on. I can't dilly-dally on how I've done nothing or how my life really didn't start yet. I need to eat and I need a place to sleep. I need to accept the fact that I made mistakes. I need to analyze my mistakes and learn from them. I can't give up. I can't give in. The world is run by rich assholes who keep getting richer while the rest of us keep getting poorer. They'll do everything in their power to keep us oppressed so long as nobody questions their rule. Look at the middle east. Look at Syria and Bahrain. Look at who backs up those countries, and look at the clusterfuck that is international politics. Look at the wikileaks cables. Read about how canada has internet caps primarily because of U.S DMCA lobbyists.

You're smart. You know better than this. Don't let all this bad shit that surrounds you hold you down. Keep trying. Learn. Move on. Otherwise you'll just be left behind. Remember, there's no real purpose to life anyway. Haruhi is a lie perpetrated by those who wish to keep people in check. You know this. You are free. Do what you want with yourself. Stop judging yourself by the standards of your friends or your family or normals. You are who you are. Be proud of yourself.

I'll kindly take my ban now.

>>5566
Beautiful words and a great attitude towards life... if we lived in Iceland or anyother 1st-world land of wealth, and praise as alternative to become a gaylord hipster fairy-boy in his way to Papantla, dancing barefoot in the grass during their 6 months of sloped sun. Several lyrics from Go, belong better to some brave new world from sci-fi literature or improbable future, free from the chains of our inner condition and from the guilt of every single one of our joys costing tons of misery everywhere else...

By all means: awesome musicians, both him and Sigur Ros. I enjoy them a lot, disregard these idelogical differences (the world is full of contradictions).

>>5569
>You are free. Do what you want with yourself. Stop judging yourself by the standards of your friends or your family or normals. You are who you are. Be proud of yourself.

Ehh... basically a similar answer than the one I just gave above, but without praising your musical talent (cause I don't know about it).
Anyway: I do salute your defense of having the courage to still try, disregard... well, everything.

Post edited on 20th Jun 2011, 4:38pm